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  • Male sexual health advice

    Salaam,

    I'm looking for some advice.

    I'm a 27 year old male who has been diagnosed with impotence due to side effects of medication taken during an illness.
    My family are unaware of my predicament and are pressuring me into the idea of getting married through an arrangement.

    I am unsure of how I can can explain the situation to my parents, and I don't really know what to do.

    I am worried for my future and the future of my potential partner if I follow through this path. And I can't even imagine explaining this to them.

    Please can you help.

    Thank you.

  • #2
    Re: Male sexual health advice

    I'll answer this later brother, have sabr.
    Reported by Ibn al-Salah:

    ولقد أحسن الحسن بن أبي زياد اللؤلؤي صاحب أبي حنيفة فيما بلغنا عنه أنه استفتي في مسألة فأخطأ فيها ولم يعرف الذي أفتاه فاكترى مناديا فنادى أن الحسن بن أبي زياد استفتي يوم كذا وكذا في مسألة فأخطأ فمن كان أفتاه الحسن بن أبي زياد بشيء فليرجع إليه
    فلبث أياما لا يفتي حتى وجد صاحب الفتوى فأعلمه أنه أخطأ وإن الصواب كذا وكذا والله أعلم

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Male sexual health advice

      You could look for a divorced woman who already has children?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Male sexual health advice

        :wswrwb:

        What's the point of hiding this from your parents? They're going to find out, anyways, right?
        And I don't think it's even right to conceal such a big problem from your own parents.

        You can tell your potential wife about your problems. If she, agrees then all is well. If not, then, like the sister said, you can marry someone with children. Or you can adopt children after marriage. There are many ways. Alhamdulilah.

        Don't lose hope :insha:
        Make Dua'a that Allah cure you of this problem.

        May He free you from all your problems, bless you w/ a pious wife, and lots of pious children.
        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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        • #5
          Re: Male sexual health advice

          wa alaikum as salam wa rehmatullahi wa barakatuh,

          Is this permanent impotence? Did the medication even say this was a possibility? If not, you might have a case to sue the drug company or whomever is connected and win large.

          Fact is bro, sooner or later they'll find out and so it's better you tell them sooner so this don't come up at the last second.

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          • #6
            Re: Male sexual health advice

            So someone who already has children or is divorced is no longer interested in sexual relationships?

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            • #7
              Re: Male sexual health advice

              Originally posted by qstions View Post
              So someone who already has children or is divorced is no longer interested in sexual relationships?
              What exactly is the illness you're diagnosed with?
              Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

              "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
              - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Male sexual health advice

                The illness is no longer the concern, the problem is the side effect it has left.
                It is a professional opinion, and I have been to see many doctors for diagnosis.

                Winning large isn't exactly what I'm looking for.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Male sexual health advice

                  I think marrying while withholding this circumstance is a sure way to cause unnecessary pain to both yourself and your partner. Just be upfront with your parents and tell them what's bothering you. It's not your fault you have this condition. Afterwards, further seek treatment.

                  PS: not a Muslim, if it makes a difference.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Male sexual health advice

                    Originally posted by Eventus View Post
                    I think marrying while withholding this circumstance is a sure way to cause unnecessary pain to both yourself and your partner. Just be upfront with your parents and tell them what's bothering you. It's not your fault you have this condition. Afterwards, further seek treatment.

                    PS: not a Muslim, if it makes a difference.
                    Thank you.
                    What you say makes sense to me.
                    The problem I have is approaching and explaining it to my parents...
                    I've never had any conversations with family let alone my parents about sexuality.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Male sexual health advice

                      It's not really about sexuality. You have a health problem.
                      There' no need to by shy about that. They'll understand, they're your parents, after all.
                      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Male sexual health advice

                        wa alikumu salam

                        tell your parrents. nothing bad can happen.

                        however impotency can be fought against by doing things that gnerate testosterone. eat foods with high zinc content, and pure unpasturized honey. workout alot using power moves that work core group muscles like squates or bench press. it may be the difference between having oyur tadpoles back or not.

                        just sayin.
                        And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

                        O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

                        JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

                        sponsor an orphan

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                        • #13
                          Re: Male sexual health advice

                          Originally posted by qstions View Post
                          Salaam,

                          I'm looking for some advice.

                          I'm a 27 year old male who has been diagnosed with impotence due to side effects of medication taken during an illness.
                          My family are unaware of my predicament and are pressuring me into the idea of getting married through an arrangement.

                          I am unsure of how I can can explain the situation to my parents, and I don't really know what to do.

                          I am worried for my future and the future of my potential partner if I follow through this path. And I can't even imagine explaining this to them.

                          Please can you help.

                          Thank you.
                          The following is my opinion and I am not enforcing it upon anyone.

                          I do not think your parents need to know about your sexual health. Your future wife must know though.

                          You can take the means to cure impotence or minimize it so this way you can fulfill the sexual right of your wife.

                          If a person is not ok with her husband being impotent then fine, move on, find someone else, no problem. Sex is not the end of life. It's an important thing but not the most important thing at the end of the day.
                          Reported by Ibn al-Salah:

                          ولقد أحسن الحسن بن أبي زياد اللؤلؤي صاحب أبي حنيفة فيما بلغنا عنه أنه استفتي في مسألة فأخطأ فيها ولم يعرف الذي أفتاه فاكترى مناديا فنادى أن الحسن بن أبي زياد استفتي يوم كذا وكذا في مسألة فأخطأ فمن كان أفتاه الحسن بن أبي زياد بشيء فليرجع إليه
                          فلبث أياما لا يفتي حتى وجد صاحب الفتوى فأعلمه أنه أخطأ وإن الصواب كذا وكذا والله أعلم

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Male sexual health advice

                            What would he say when the parents ask why are you not having kids?
                            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Male sexual health advice

                              Then he can tell it but I wouldn't tell my parents before than. it's not something they need to know. he's 27, he can find a spouse himself.
                              Reported by Ibn al-Salah:

                              ولقد أحسن الحسن بن أبي زياد اللؤلؤي صاحب أبي حنيفة فيما بلغنا عنه أنه استفتي في مسألة فأخطأ فيها ولم يعرف الذي أفتاه فاكترى مناديا فنادى أن الحسن بن أبي زياد استفتي يوم كذا وكذا في مسألة فأخطأ فمن كان أفتاه الحسن بن أبي زياد بشيء فليرجع إليه
                              فلبث أياما لا يفتي حتى وجد صاحب الفتوى فأعلمه أنه أخطأ وإن الصواب كذا وكذا والله أعلم

                              Comment

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