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  • Adultery/Intercourse out of wed-lock, etc

    Assalamu Alaikum,

    My friend has completely changed her lifestyle from what she had before. She has started praying and started asking for forgiveness for her sins. However, everywhere she reads, she says she sees there isn't much forgiveness for adultery or things of that nature. How can she get rid of her past?

    I told her saying Astagfirullah adheem, as many times as she can, and praying and asking for forgiveness and honestly having the intention in her heart to never do it again. Is there anything else she can do? A surah, a fast? How can I advise her?

    Thank you!

  • #2
    Re: Adultery/Intercourse out of wed-lock, etc

    Originally posted by akhan628 View Post
    Assalamu Alaikum,

    My friend has completely changed her lifestyle from what she had before. She has started praying and started asking for forgiveness for her sins. However, everywhere she reads, she says she sees there isn't much forgiveness for adultery or things of that nature. How can she get rid of her past?

    I told her saying Astagfirullah adheem, as many times as she can, and praying and asking for forgiveness and honestly having the intention in her heart to never do it again. Is there anything else she can do? A surah, a fast? How can I advise her?

    Thank you!
    :wswrwb:

    Sister, wallahi whatever she is doing is perfectly right and correct. I know she may have told you things in confidence because you are close to her but also advice her NOT to reveal her sins. Allah Ta'ala tells us that He (swt) conceals our sins so why should be go around exposing them? She has commited sin, she has done wrong- that is between her and her Allah :love:

    If she is sincerely sorry then she must continue doing what she is doing in the hope of Allah Ta'alas mercy and forgiveness and ofcourse- you should remind her that Allah ta'ala is the one who is Most Kind and Most Forgiving. We are told that it is in Allah's power to forgive all sins (minor and major- except for shirk). Tell the sister that she must pray with reverence and utmost sincerity, make Istighfaar and cry to Allah and ofcourse abstain from all such evil and never go near it again. Sometimes these very experiences in life are the ones that change a person for the better and makes an individual attain closeness to Allah. Tell her to focus her attention on pleasing and seeking the pleasure of Allah and tell her that she should neve despair in the love and mercy of Allah :) Truly Allah's mercy is greater than a mothers love for her child! :love:
    *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

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    • #3
      Re: Adultery/Intercourse out of wed-lock, etc

      :wswrwb:

      What does she mean there isn't much space for forgiveness for adultery? Allah forgives all sins.

      ďAnd those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.

      69. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;

      70. Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most MercifulĒ

      [al-Furqaan 25:68-70]

      Masha'Allah, she's already on track if she's repented and started praying. Now she needs to focus on getting closer to Allah and strengthening her imaan.

      There a great deal of info all over the forum and the internet on how to increase iman and such, so just do a quick search.

      A good place to start is to read the Quran - even if it's only 10 mins a day. Start small so it's easily maintainable and then work your way up insha'Allah (that applies to every other act of ibaadah). Taking part in dhikr (remembrance of Allah), nafl fasts and salah, sadaqah, trying to perfect your character etc - these all work towards pleasing Allah and getting closer to Him

      Most important of all is to make dua to Allah to make the straight path easy for you and to guide you, forgive you etc...

      Wassalaam

      P.S I know I was addressing you and you asked for your friend but it's just too much of a bother to keep writing 'tell her to blah blah', plus this is advice for all of us to follow, not just her.

      oh yeah, I remember listening to this lecture that mentioned a guy who committed adultery and repented afterwards and Allah took his life while he was in sajdah. the lecture itself was pretty good actually. I think it's called 'he who has no one has Allah' it's by sh. navaid aziz. Tell her to listen to it if she hasn't already - you too, if you haven't =)
      Last edited by Amalthea; 12-04-11, 08:38 AM. Reason: after thought

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      • #4
        Re: Adultery/Intercourse out of wed-lock, etc

        Originally posted by Zesty View Post
        :wswrwb:

        Sister, wallahi whatever she is doing is perfectly right and correct. I know she may have told you things in confidence because you are close to her but also advice her NOT to reveal her sins. Allah Ta'ala tells us that He (swt) conceals our sins so why should be go around exposing them? She has commited sin, she has done wrong- that is between her and her Allah :love:

        If she is sincerely sorry then she must continue doing what she is doing in the hope of Allah Ta'alas mercy and forgiveness and ofcourse- you should remind her that Allah ta'ala is the one who is Most Kind and Most Forgiving. We are told that it is in Allah's power to forgive all sins (minor and major- except for shirk). Tell the sister that she must pray with reverence and utmost sincerity, make Istighfaar and cry to Allah and ofcourse abstain from all such evil and never go near it again. Sometimes these very experiences in life are the ones that change a person for the better and makes an individual attain closeness to Allah. Tell her to focus her attention on pleasing and seeking the pleasure of Allah and tell her that she should neve despair in the love and mercy of Allah :) Truly Allah's mercy is greater than a mothers love for her child! :love:
        Allah forgives shirk if you repent before you die: http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/34171/shirk%20forgiven
        Last edited by Amalthea; 12-04-11, 08:39 AM.

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        • #5
          Re: Adultery/Intercourse out of wed-lock, etc

          :wswrwb:

          She should ask Allah for forgiveness for adultery. she must not never do it again. Tell the sister to forget about the past and concentrate on praying five times a day and being a good muslim.


          Allah forgives all sins. Allah says in the Quran.


          "O those of My servants who have transgressed against your own selves, despair not of God's mercy. God does forgive all sins, for surely He is the most forgiving most merciful one."(39:53)


          http://www.islamicperspectives.com/repent.htm


          SubhanAllah wa biHamdihi (Glory be to Allah and Praise Him).

          Whoever says (the above) a hundred times during the day, his sins are wiped away, even if they are like the foam of the sea

          http://sunnah.org/ibadaat/beautiful_dhikr.htm


          Last edited by RRIIZZZ; 12-04-11, 09:05 AM.

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          • #6
            Re: Adultery/Intercourse out of wed-lock, etc

            if she is trly sorry for her sins then she should follow the advice from the Quran which is to repent and then thereafter do rightous good deeds (whatever she can do)
            And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

            O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

            JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

            sponsor an orphan

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            • #7
              Re: Adultery/Intercourse out of wed-lock, etc

              Welcome back uncle Umar .
              Where there are no Ulemah(Scholars) there are many Muftis.

              I
              deal System of Living for All Mankind .

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              • #8
                Re: Adultery/Intercourse out of wed-lock, etc

                :wswrwb:

                Good advice above, just thought I'd mention a talk by Bilal Assad called Ahmed the repenter, it might help her to be more positive about forgiveness.

                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8gksqwCKgI

                http://www.kalamullah.com/bilal-assad.html

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                • #9
                  Re: Adultery/Intercourse out of wed-lock, etc

                  assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullah,

                  when giving da'wah, many sisters have mentioned that they have done some really bad stuff and they doubt that they would be forgiven... This is the biggest trick of the shayateen who wants to deter people from repenting to Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala and who wants to lead them further astray, so he whispers to the effect that the person who had the intention of sinning continues with his/her lifestyle.

                  W'allahul Mu'ustaa'aan.

                  As Muslims, we do not despair of the Mercy of Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala, indeed our Lord, Jalla wa 'aala, is the Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.

                  I was reading an article by Ibn Qayyim rahimahullah who said something along the lines of 'sometimes a sin can make a person closer to Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala' and indeed it can. Sometimes a person does things of the worst nature but when they come into the deen, their transformation is amazing because they wish never to return to what they were once upon, they fear that they may never be forgiven so they spend the remainder of their lives establishing the worship of Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala, subhaan'Allah.

                  My advice would be to the sister, never ever despair of Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala's mercy because they have been people who were so close to being the people of jannah and then they commited a major sin and died whilst upon that state and died whilst doing the deeds of the people of the hellfire and likewise, there have been people who have commited the sins of the people of the hell fire, so much so that they were a handspan from entering the hellfire, but then they changed their ways so that they are now doing the deeds of the people of paradise, and in sha Allah ta'aala, they will die upon this state.

                  Aa'isha radiAllahu ta'aala anha narrates that rasulullah (may the peace and blessings of Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala be upon him) used to say one du'a most frequently and to the nearest meaning it is' oh turner of the hearts, keep my heart firm upon this religion, ie islam) so we see quite clearly that our hearts can change in an instance and just how a 'religious' person can loose their eeman, a not so religious person can gain eeman, with the permission of Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala.

                  Tell the sister to repent sincerely, never tire of crying out of fear of Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala, advise her to give sadaqah if she is able, to fast somedays and to increase in her eeman - tell her to do the deeds of the people of paradise.

                  Now let me narrate to you one story - there was a lady who commited adultery and she went to rasulullah (may the peace and blessings of Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala be upon him) and said 'ya rasulullah, i have commited adultery', Rasulullah (may the peace and blessings of Allah subahanu wa ta'aala be upon him) said 'are you carrying a load (ie, are you pregnant) and she said yes and she was adviced to come back once her child is delivered. The story goes that she kept going to rasulullah (may the peace and blessings of Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala be upon him) and was kept on adviced to go back and wean her child etc, until one day she went back again and then rasulullah(may the peace and blessings of Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala be upon him) said 'what do you want me to do!' and then she said she wants her punishment and was stoned to death

                  the narration goes that whilst she was being stoned, one of the sahabas said 'oh she was a zaaniyah' but rasulullah (may the peace and blessings of Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala be upon him) said 'her repentance was so great that it would have been enough for the whole of makkah' ... subhanAllah

                  *by the way, its not word to word and i may have got some stuff wrong, but thats the general jist of the hadith

                  we have ahadith like this available to show the mercy of Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala, another one is about the prostitute who gave water to a dog and was forgiven.

                  so, tell the sister to change her whole lifestyle, her friends if needed, the way she dresses, and to seek to establish the worship of Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala

                  w'alhamdu lilahi rabbil aalimeen
                  http://www.deenulhuq.wordpress.com

                  Don't depend on anyone too much in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness ~ibn taymiyyah

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                  • #10
                    Re: Adultery/Intercourse out of wed-lock, etc

                    InsyaAllah, Allah will forgive her if she repent sincerely. Allah promised that to all servants.

                    :ahb:

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                    • #11
                      Re: Adultery/Intercourse out of wed-lock, etc

                      Salam everyone and thank you so much for all of your inputs. We were not sure as to how much repentance was enough and I knew Allah (swt) is All-merciful but did not know what actions she should be taking. Thank you again. =]

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                      • #12
                        Re: Adultery/Intercourse out of wed-lock, etc

                        You should listen to this lecture: http://www.kalamullah.com/Bilal%20As...20Repenter.mp3
                        اذاً لن يضيعنا الله

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