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How to deal with Love...

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  • How to deal with Love...

    Okay, to whoever spent their childhood in a non-muslim country (example, the USA), I think we have all delt with something that confuses us all, "Love"

    There is no escaping it once it strikes you and there is no way to leave it because Allah has given each living thing an ability to love. Now, im not talking about loving a football team or a game, i meaning liking someone. Like you like this girl/boy because his/her personality fits you or shes a nice person or something.....

    Like i said, once it strikes you, THERE IS NO WAY TO LEAVE IT! Its going to hit you once and a while. This is stressing me because i cant find the answer to this simple but hard conflict:
    "Love and Religion"

    Even being in an Islamic school, there is a girl/boy you will like. Now i just entered an Islamic school and thank god throughout my time in public school (Over 10 years, i left when i was in 8th grade), ive never fallen into the haram side of the American culture (dating, swearing, flirting, etc...) but there are times where i pass a girl i like. Yes, we do talk to each other but everytime im in this feeling, all i do is let the feeling pass by, standing there and not doing anything. This is hurting me because i cant even pay attention in class without thinking of her.

    Now, its not like im in a super strict family. My parents would allow me to talk to girl and to hang out with them (but i rarely do so its not like it even matters and the girls i hang out with are not the ones i have a crush on)

    Really, its time to stop this, i really want your opinion on this. Just, how do i solve this simple conflict:
    When Love and Religion cross.

    Thanks! May allah help you all! :D

  • #2
    Re: How to deal with Love...

    :salams

    ameen to your duas,

    It is not allowed in Islam to love before marriage.it is better to love after u marry, so there comes no such thing as 1st sight, once in life etc. but it is Sunnah to see to whom you are going to marry, you can talk to her/him not in private their should be hre parent mother/father a mahram otherwise it is not allowed to talk, to meet and to share your feelings and there is NO NEED at all show your love without any Relation.
    If you like her for some reason, her modesty, beauty or whatever but Deen should be the priority according to Islam. anyways, you should go via proper channel, see her, talk her in someone1 presence, know her well and then can send the proposal...its Simple.

    and ALLAH knows the best.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnQ-Lh-0Auk

    may Allah bless you with a pious life partner-ameen.
    ALLAH IS ENOUGH FOR ME

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    • #3
      Re: How to deal with Love...

      You can get over it, takes some will power and it's done. Lose all contact with them. Do things in the manner prescribed in the Quran and Sunnah.

      Honestly, there is no conflict per se. You just have to be strong and make that choice, your deen or some randomer you have feelings for? Which will benefit you in the long run? Which is actually worth the struggle? An you can do things the halal way inshaAllah so you'll be in a win win situation.

      Be strong inshaAllah and keep yourself to the deen.
      (The hypocrites) will call the believers: "Were we not with you?" The believers will reply: "Yes! But you led yourselves into temptations, you looked forward for our destruction; you doubted (in Faith); and you were deceived by false desires, till the Command of Allah came to pass. And the chief deceiver (Satan) deceived you in respect of Allah."57:14

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      • #4
        Re: How to deal with Love...

        I too have experienced something alike, but the person I fell in love with was a Muslim and he loved me back. But our parents never agreed to this and we broke up. At first I lost all contact with reality and myself, I couldn't think of anything else and my whole world revolved around this one person. I actually became weaker in my religion, practising it less and less, believing God would punish me for having had contact with this person in the first place. I didn't eat much, I lost a lot of weight, I didn't study, I didn't think of Allah. And this went on actually for more than half a year until I completely lost contact with this person and went into an ever greater depression.

        And then one day I was checking the internet and I started reading Qu'ranic recites. I read and I read, and I couldn't stop reading. I read all the stuff that filled my heart with other things than love for this person, it filled my heart with love for Allah, for his Messenger and for everything that revolves around my Creator. And now, I am back to the reality, I am here again in this world and I sincerely repent for what I did, for my weakness and my heart's desires and I feel much better, more full in my heart than I ever did before.

        I can tell you one thing in such dilemmas, as I have been through it and I have passed it. You will eventually forget this person, and when you do, you will be glad you chose your religion and your Creator instead of this person. It will be painful and it might be a long process. My best advice is to read the Qu'ran, the the Hadiths, read about Paradise and all the rewards a person gets for his repentance and his obedience. Read, learn and stay away from haraam! Believe that Allah has a greater purpose in this life for you, for He does. Believe that this person will not be there the day of the Resurrection, and you will stand alone in front of Allah. Think of how you want Allah to see your soul that day, pure and clean of haraam. Trust me, after months and months of hard struggle, the result you will end up with will surprise you and you will be glad you didn't commit further haraam and didn't have any relationship with this girl.

        The best of wishes to you! I hope you get past this period, it is surely a hard one and a really hard test from Allah. So pass it with a high grade :D
        Last edited by Imashka; 23-03-11, 11:37 PM.

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        • #5
          Its not love, love is between a man and a woman with zawaj in the name of allah.

          There is no benifit between an unmarried man or woman, except shayton is between them. There is a grave danger being mislead, zina is on the top 10 sins of islam.

          You need to ask her hand in marraige, if u dont have the means, you need to fast for 30 days and repent. fasting calms sexual urges and inshallah will keep u away from shaytons tricks.
          Allah knows best

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          • #6
            Re: How to deal with Love...

            What you're describing isn't love, it's a crush. If you experienced love the tone of your thread would have been very different.

            Regarding love and religion. Put it like this, if your first love is your wife/husband then you'll have attained your love and also your religion. perfect.
            Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.”

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            • #7
              Re: How to deal with Love...

              Originally posted by Imashka View Post
              I too have experienced something alike,
              And then one day I was checking the internet and I started reading Qu'ranic recites. I read and I read, and I couldn't stop reading. I read all the stuff that filled my heart with other things than love for this person, it filled my heart with love for Allah, for his Messenger and for everything that revolves around my Creator. And now, I am back to the reality, I am here again in this world and I sincerely repent for what I did, for my weakness and my heart's desires and I feel much better, more full in my heart than I ever did before. . .
              :D
              :masha: sister

              may Allaah reward you and may you find peace in worship.
              insha'Allaah you will get a person not of your choice but of HIS, keep your trust in Him. :)
              ALLAH IS ENOUGH FOR ME

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              • #8
                Re: How to deal with Love...

                :1popcorn:

                *makes notes*

                Love is a truly wonderful emotion and it lifts you like no other emotion in the human mind and body.

                However, when you lose the one you love its feels like your heart ripping apart, the pain is unbearable and you just wanna hide away and cry.

                So I would agree with the post above that Islam forbids love BEFORE marriage.

                I always questioned that, sadly I admit to that.

                But..........my recent experiences playing 'The Love Game' has told me that Allah, as always, is right.
                “Allah does not place a burden upon a person except that which he is capable” (Al-Baqarah: 286)

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