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Advice on working with opposite gender

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  • Advice on working with opposite gender

    :salams

    Some women/men have to work with opposite gender during their working days and I am one of them, in my work I (female) have to get involved in group work and communicate with men everyday, I or they don't have any problem with this as we only see this as part of our job. However, there are couple of men (all white, most not single non-muslims) who says 'hello', smiles and sometimes have friendly work related conversations with me only out of politeness and I force myself to respond to them otherwise they'll think I'm being arrogant and rude. My dad said only talk to men if it is necessary i.e. only work related business, emergency situations etc but i was wondering is saying 'hello' or smiling back and being polite back considered unnecessary? Is this allowed (please provide authentic Hadith evidence)? Being kind and polite is a big part of Islam so I can't treat anyone (male or female) who shows me politeness with rudeness.

    Since I will never ever in a billion years marry a non-muslim, are they considered non-mahram to me still? If yes, Why?

    Please don't write insulting things in reply to me, remember Allah is everywhere and is watching us every second of the day so fear Allah.

    :jkk: in advance.

  • #2
    Re: Advice on working with opposite gender

    :wswrwb:

    Sis, have you tried explaining to them that you can't talk to them unless it's absolutely necessary? That way it won't be rude and they will only talk when necessary.
    As for smiling and stuff, you might want to be polite, but who knows what's going on in the guy's head?
    That's why it's not permissible.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Advice on working with opposite gender

      ^ so I have to tell every guy at job that they're not allowed to smile or say hello to me, do you know how many ppl that is and they will think I really stupid because most of them are NON MUSLIM not single as they are married or in relationship and I wear hijab so they are not going to think bad of me obviously as they know I'm religious so is there really any harm in just being polite? Because to me and to them it's just 'hello' and 'buy' nothing more nothing less.

      What about when they ask me about Islam? Is that considered necessary talking?

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      • #4
        Re: Advice on working with opposite gender

        See, that's the downside of a Muslimah working in a mixed environment and that's the reason Muslimahs are only allowed to work in an environment where she won't be exposed to men on a continuous basis. There's really no way to avoid those interactions. And, I won't say they are permissible, either. If you go check in almost any fatwa site, they'll straight out tell you to leave the job.

        For giving Dawah:

        The basic ruling is that da`wah includes all people including Muslims and non-Muslims and of course persons of the opposite sex. However, when observing da`wah with a person of the opposite sex, both parties should abide by the Islamic ethics and guidelines of relationship between both sexes.

        In his response to your question, Dr. Salah Sultan, president of the American Center for Islamic Research, Columbus, Ohio, and member of the European Council for Fatwa and Research, states,

        Obviously Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) practiced da`wah to all, humans, and Jinn. There is no doubt that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) gave da`wah to women.

        As for giving da`wah to members of the opposite sex, the natural and ideal way is to start da`wah with people from the same sex, and then you expand your circle. However, when the case involves men giving da`wah to women, they must follow the following guidelines:

        1. No khalwah (Arabic for: seclusion) is allowed.

        2. Talks and conversations have to be serious and definite.

        3. Women should not speak so softly that they can attract the opposite sex.

        4. Da`wah has to be done sincerely for Allah's sake, and not for any worldly cause such as looking for a wife/husband.
        Source
        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Advice on working with opposite gender

          ^ ok :jkk: for the da'wah advice.

          I knew someone was going to advice me to leave my job. Well my family, friends and I all disagree with this - the job is considered very islamically rewarding - it involves helping people, say I was a teacher I'm not going to leave my job just because I have to communicate with non-muslim men now and then, I'm doing this job because I care about the children and I know Allah will be pleased with me if I help them. I'm not going to give it up because I fear men, I only fear Allah and I will ask Allah's protection from them and I will just need to be less friendly with all men.

          And by the way me saying 'hello' to them is like you saying :salams to sister on here every single day, it's the same thing and 'hello' is less friendly than salaams, why is the free-mixing online considered halal when it is said to be haram in the real world? Please answer this question because I have been wondering.

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          • #6
            Re: Advice on working with opposite gender

            I wasn't saying leave the job, sis. That's why I was so hesitant to post on this thread. But from what I've read, I don't think that many scholars would allow it. Allahu Alam.
            Khair, you said "fear men" but it's not really about fearing men, it's the interactions that's wrong. I know, this is probably sounding too extreme to you, but I don't know how else to say it nicely. I'm just saying from what I know and have learned. Maybe someone else will be able to explain it better.

            As for brothers and sisters interacting on the forum, we don't really hear each other's voice, neither do we see each other. Also, this is a public forum, so other people can see what everyone is saying. The conversation/discussion isn't private.

            Of course, we should avoid vain talk, and before telling anyone else, this goes for me. I don't think there's anything wrong if we keep to Islamic subjects or even halal worldly topics like work, parenting, school, etc.
            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Advice on working with opposite gender

              :wswrwb:

              I think Mirror explained in regards to Islam, and well, to expand upon practical tips, I wouldn't let them all know not to talk to me, but rather just following the above advice, limit it entirely to work-related essential talk. If they end up saying more than hello or whatever, then try to cut it short asap, and if you do this often enough, they'll realise that you just want to keep it all pertaining to the work you're doing. Even some non-Muslims do this, and that's understandable.

              Of course Muslims are meant to be polite, the above does not detract from that at all.

              As for why are they considered non-mahram even though you would never marry a non-Muslim - simply putting it, this is the case because they are not your father, brother, uncle or grandfather, and thus, you could actually marry them (tho of course you'd be committing a sin by marrying a non-Muslim).
              Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
              O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
              We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Advice on working with opposite gender

                when i was working with females, i would lower my gaze and not talk unless it was nessesary. if i was asked why, i would tell them somthing like "as a muslim man, i am commaned not to look at women for my own self purity, but also the prophet pbuh said that no man has the right to look at a woman, meaning to honour women"
                painful torment? (10) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

                JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

                sponsor an orphan

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                • #9
                  Re: Advice on working with opposite gender

                  Originally posted by Safiya View Post
                  I think Mirror explained in regards to Islam, and well, to expand upon practical tips, I wouldn't let them all know not to talk to me, but rather just following the above advice, limit it entirely to work-related essential talk. If they end up saying more than hello or whatever, then try to cut it short asap, and if you do this often enough, they'll realise that you just want to keep it all pertaining to the work you're doing. Even some non-Muslims do this, and that's understandable.

                  As for why are they considered non-mahram even though you would never marry a non-Muslim - simply putting it, this is the case because they are not your father, brother, uncle or grandfather, and thus, you could actually marry them (tho of course you'd be committing a sin by marrying a non-Muslim).
                  I agree with half of what you said. The way I see it, they're non-mahram because if they revert, you can marry them. However, say if your father was a non-muslim and he reverts, he's still your mahram and unmarriageable.
                  Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                  "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                  - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Advice on working with opposite gender

                    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                    However, say if your father was a non-muslim and he reverts, he's still your mahram and unmarriageable.
                    That's what she said in the end isn't it ... ?
                    "Treat people in such a way and live amongst them in such a manner that if you die they weep over you, and when you are alive, they crave for your company"

                    [Hadhrat Ali R.A]

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Advice on working with opposite gender

                      Originally posted by Aisha91 View Post
                      That's what she said in the end isn't it ... ?
                      Well, I guess, kind of...
                      But, she said "you could actually marry them." However, you can't actually marry them, since it won't be a recognized under Shariah. In other words, there's no marriage.
                      If the guy reverts, though, then she could actually marry him.
                      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Advice on working with opposite gender

                        Never mind, just realised you understand what I meant, but maybe it was confusing.
                        Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
                        O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
                        We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Advice on working with opposite gender

                          Alright, back on topic!
                          Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                          "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                          - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Advice on working with opposite gender

                            What if she marries an ahl-e-kitaab?
                            Not done?
                            Is that what you mean?
                            "Treat people in such a way and live amongst them in such a manner that if you die they weep over you, and when you are alive, they crave for your company"

                            [Hadhrat Ali R.A]

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Advice on working with opposite gender

                              Muslim women can't marry men from amongst Ahl-e-Kitaab. So it just doesn't count, it's just a sin, or its both? Hmm, idk.
                              Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
                              O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
                              We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

                              Comment

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