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A taboo topic amongst muslims, it seems. Muslim communities seem to be in denial of these things happening, and when it does happen or come out then family honour seem to prevail the well beings of the victim.
Not only women, but young girls and young boys, children(both genders) are often the target of sexual abuse usually by close people, family relatives, family friends,even some Imams at masjids or just a neighbour; people with a some position of trust. I'm not asking you all to become paranoid but to grow an awareness on the subject and not be in denial.
Some people will just not accept that these things happen, even in a minority group.
I've known some girls that were abused from my year group and above. Their stories were rather shocking, one was abused by an Imam at a local masjid after the classes finished, he kept her behind.
The others by close or distant relatives, one by brothers friends and another by her fathers friend.
The one thing that was the same in all situations is how the girls were treated after their families found out.
1. The girl is now stained, dirty, called degraded names such as being dirty, etc by some/all family members. She is made to feel guilty.
2. Word of such things cannot be let out, even to the authorities due to family honour. Thus the girl must remain quiet on the subject, hence no help given to her.
3. No action taken to bring the abuser to justice, because this means word getting out. So the abuser is left to carry on abusing others.
All for family honour, reputation etc.
Some muslim sisters ,from my experience, that havent experienced abuse or met anyone that has, will deny it occuring. I'm not saying all Imams abuse, or labelling all men as being abusers. But if you live in alittle happy bubble thinking that nothing like this happens, how will you prevent it from happening? How will you deal with it if it happens in your family?
Personally I think that the main reason for this is plain ignorance, being stuck on stupid cultural mentality and a lack of good communication, awareness and understanding.
Most sisters I know cannot communicate well to the family members, their brothers, fathers, mothers etc. Theyre scared of being judged by their family members if they open up, and quite rightly too, because the consequences of opening up to ones family members can sometimes just as bad as being abused.
It seems on general that theres one set of rules for the male members of the family and another for the girls.
If a son has a non-marital relationship with a girl then it isn't as bad a daughter doing the same. This seems to be the general ignorant view. Although families may say, its bad equally for both, their actions and way of treating the boys is always better than the girls. When such ridiculous inequality exists between the daughters and the sons, how can the girls feel comfortable opening up about any experiences they have.
There are sisters that cant even come home to mention that a boy may have harrassed them outside, because they'll end up being asked, "What were you doing with a boy?" ... Albiet they may not have been with him.
This negative view that I've painted isn't the case for each and every individual, but it is still the case for one too many.
Not only women, but young girls and young boys, children(both genders) are often the target of sexual abuse usually by close people, family relatives, family friends,even some Imams at masjids or just a neighbour; people with a some position of trust. I'm not asking you all to become paranoid but to grow an awareness on the subject and not be in denial.
Some people will just not accept that these things happen, even in a minority group.
I've known some girls that were abused from my year group and above. Their stories were rather shocking, one was abused by an Imam at a local masjid after the classes finished, he kept her behind.
The others by close or distant relatives, one by brothers friends and another by her fathers friend.
The one thing that was the same in all situations is how the girls were treated after their families found out.
1. The girl is now stained, dirty, called degraded names such as being dirty, etc by some/all family members. She is made to feel guilty.
2. Word of such things cannot be let out, even to the authorities due to family honour. Thus the girl must remain quiet on the subject, hence no help given to her.
3. No action taken to bring the abuser to justice, because this means word getting out. So the abuser is left to carry on abusing others.
All for family honour, reputation etc.
Some muslim sisters ,from my experience, that havent experienced abuse or met anyone that has, will deny it occuring. I'm not saying all Imams abuse, or labelling all men as being abusers. But if you live in alittle happy bubble thinking that nothing like this happens, how will you prevent it from happening? How will you deal with it if it happens in your family?
Personally I think that the main reason for this is plain ignorance, being stuck on stupid cultural mentality and a lack of good communication, awareness and understanding.
Most sisters I know cannot communicate well to the family members, their brothers, fathers, mothers etc. Theyre scared of being judged by their family members if they open up, and quite rightly too, because the consequences of opening up to ones family members can sometimes just as bad as being abused.
It seems on general that theres one set of rules for the male members of the family and another for the girls.
If a son has a non-marital relationship with a girl then it isn't as bad a daughter doing the same. This seems to be the general ignorant view. Although families may say, its bad equally for both, their actions and way of treating the boys is always better than the girls. When such ridiculous inequality exists between the daughters and the sons, how can the girls feel comfortable opening up about any experiences they have.
There are sisters that cant even come home to mention that a boy may have harrassed them outside, because they'll end up being asked, "What were you doing with a boy?" ... Albiet they may not have been with him.
This negative view that I've painted isn't the case for each and every individual, but it is still the case for one too many.
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