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How do you handle lack of appreciation?

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  • AbuMubarak
    replied
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    be grateful for anything anyone does for you, even a kafir or an enemy

    but when you do a good deed, dont expect any thanks, this way, you know you are doing it for Allah

    but if you get thanks from people, thank Allah for them showing you appreciation and watch your ego

    Leave a comment:


  • .: Anna :.
    replied
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
    I understand that, but what i was getting at was something like this;

    If a wife does something for her husband (for example) and she does this because it's his right and for the sake of Allah she fulfills her obligation/his rigt, but he shows no appreciation.

    Same thing applies here, liike she should only expect something from Allah right? To not be disappointed by humans?
    say for eg if it was this example of marriage and both showing no appreciation for each other, its not healthy as it causes resentment if its long term. so i dont think there is anything wrong with talking about the situation and coming to a better understanding whereby they do appreciate each other.
    its true like people are saying we do things for Allah's sake but in a relationship its healthy to show appreciation not take each other for granted, theres nothing wrong with that and it is natural for it to be like that.
    i know your example is prob not for marriage so would be easier to advice if it was more specific but for marriage rather than all the advice of just do it for Allah's sake and forget about it, i think it is also v valid and important to sort the issue out among the couple, so maybe in other situations that could be the case too

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  • Sirius
    replied
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    Originally posted by Jenicca View Post
    When you do a good deed, intend to please Allah.

    Whilst doing that deed, again check that your intention is merely the pleasure of Allah.

    After you're done, throw the deed in the ocean, meaning dont even look back that you did it, and never remind others of it, or even expect then to thank you for it.

    Once you start doing things for the real pleasure of Allah, then Allah places that appreciation is others hearts for us. And even he doesnt, thats not our aim. Our aim is the pleasure of Allah.
    deep,that.
    Ima keep it in my head.
    JazakAllah khayr.

    Leave a comment:


  • abu leyth
    replied
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
    Bismillah

    I've got a question. How do you handle lack of appreciation and acknowledgement of one's actions? You do something for yourself partly but with a bigger person in mind but there is no appreciation shown from their art, and then you feel hurt inside. Is it to know that Allah accepts your actions and that He swt is appreciative and your reward for those actions are With Him?
    our beloved prophet has warned us against Riyaa (show off). so when you help or do things do it only for the sake Allah. and expect reward from him alone.

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  • abu leyth
    replied
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
    Bismillah

    I've got a question. How do you handle lack of appreciation and acknowledgement of one's actions? You do something for yourself partly but with a bigger person in mind but there is no appreciation shown from their art, and then you feel hurt inside. Is it to know that Allah accepts your actions and that He swt is appreciative and your reward for those actions are With Him?
    bro dont do thing to show off , we have been warned of Riyaa by the beloved prophet of Allah against this vice. so anything you do in order to assist humankind do it for the sake of Allah and do not expect appreciation from them.

    Leave a comment:


  • uncle umar
    replied
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
    Bismillah

    I've got a question. How do you handle lack of appreciation and acknowledgement of one's actions? You do something for yourself partly but with a bigger person in mind but there is no appreciation shown from their art, and then you feel hurt inside. Is it to know that Allah accepts your actions and that He swt is appreciative and your reward for those actions are With Him?
    violence. nah im just messing.

    really, times like these are a good time to reflect on yourself and ask yourself "umar, why are you doing deeds? to be seen of men, or for the sake of Allah?"

    if your doing for the sake of Allah, then know that your deeds are recorded in a clear book, and it will come back to you eventually.

    even though we are human beings and all, its best to move on foward and just keep doing what your doing. or at least thats what i do, but im sure there is a better method.

    Leave a comment:


  • *hijab*
    replied
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    its hard sometimes, but we shouldn't really expect from people. Reminding yourself of why/who we do certain actions for will always make you think 'why do I want that person to recognise such and such anyway?'. However, its natural that we may have those feelings because we are humans and we like to be appreciated. But just don't expect it too much, otherwise you end up disappointed, whereas if you don't expect people to appreciate your reward is with Allah.

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  • 1MuslimByChoice
    replied
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    :jkk:

    Gotcha!

    Leave a comment:


  • aBu_aGinEgp
    replied
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
    Sorry wait i don't think i was really clear. Basically, what about when someone asks you do to something an when you do it they don't appreciate the effort etc? I was unclear.
    yeh, i understood. people already answered the Q, Jen and Abu J summed it up well. its all to do with purifying your intention, even if someone was to ask and you did something directly for a person, and they did not give you thanks then that's a short coming on their side, as according to the narration i mentioned.(maybe they don't know)

    but my point was, don't let it effect the action nor your thanking the people even if they did not thank you. purify intentions only for the sake of Allah, and know that your reward is with him. its not easy, it's something man struggles with for his entire life to achieve but when n if you do, not only does the permissable actions become rewarding but when people don't show you appreciation, you wont be effected.

    Leave a comment:


  • Jenicca
    replied
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
    Sorry wait i don't think i was really clear. Basically, what about when someone asks you do to something an when you do it they don't appreciate the effort etc? I was unclear.
    Even if they asked you, or even commanded you, the reason you did it was ultimately for the pleasure of Allah, so why seek your appreciation from anyone else?

    Leave a comment:


  • IbnulQayyim
    replied
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
    Sorry wait i don't think i was really clear. Basically, what about when someone asks you do to something an when you do it they don't appreciate the effort etc? I was unclear.
    do the halaal for Allah's sake. whn one does this, askin for appreciation from the creation is meaningless

    Leave a comment:


  • IbnulQayyim
    replied
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
    I understand that, but what i was getting at was something like this;

    If a wife does something for her husband (for example) and she does this because it's his right and for the sake of Allah she fulfills her obligation/his rigt, but he shows no appreciation.

    Same thing applies here, liike she should only expect something from Allah right? To not be disappointed by humans?
    ppl may recieve some msg but reaction has ikhtilaaf dont u think?

    lots of reasons and excuses for each other :)

    Leave a comment:


  • 1MuslimByChoice
    replied
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    Sorry wait i don't think i was really clear. Basically, what about when someone asks you do to something an when you do it they don't appreciate the effort etc? I was unclear.

    Leave a comment:


  • aBu_aGinEgp
    replied
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    "Whoever does not give thanks to the people does not give thanks to Allaah" authentic narrated by Tirmidi and imam ahmed, authenticated by ibn Hiban if i recall, someone else can confirm.

    If we keep this in mind, just make sure the lack of "giving thanks" does not lead one to themselves become restricted in who they give thanks too.

    To want to feel appreciated is a normal and human instinct which every Muslim should fulfil, its something which is from the instinct of a man. Nothing wrong with wanting to be appreciated but when it does not come, don't stress over it, Surpress the emotion with the remembrance of Allah azzawajal, know that nothing is lost but rather it is recorded.

    A question which we would ask ourselves is, if we did something good, would we want thanks now (which is normal), or would we want the thanks in the next life in the form of reward, even though its natural to want to feel appreciated, its a "greater" level , if you wana put it like that, that one would suppress the need with the remembrance of Allah. Thus purifying ones intention purely for the Sake of Allah. Im sure people have tasted a glimpse of this one stage or another in life and can recall it, but the hard thing is to maintain it, something which the salaf struggled with, so how is it possible that we would not struggle with it. something one spend their entire life learning and trying to achieve.
    Last edited by aBu_aGinEgp; 11-01-11, 04:54 PM.

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  • aadil77
    replied
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    Originally posted by Abu Jaffar View Post
    Do it while not expecting anything from anyone except Allah.
    Exactly, if you're genuinely doing something for someone you shouldn't expect anything in return

    If the person doesn't say thank you - its down to their bad manners, point it out to them when it involves them and someone other than yourself

    Leave a comment:

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