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  • How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    Bismillah

    I've got a question. How do you handle lack of appreciation and acknowledgement of one's actions? You do something for yourself partly but with a bigger person in mind but there is no appreciation shown from their art, and then you feel hurt inside. Is it to know that Allah accepts your actions and that He swt is appreciative and your reward for those actions are With Him?
    (The hypocrites) will call the believers: "Were we not with you?" The believers will reply: "Yes! But you led yourselves into temptations, you looked forward for our destruction; you doubted (in Faith); and you were deceived by false desires, till the Command of Allah came to pass. And the chief deceiver (Satan) deceived you in respect of Allah."57:14

  • #2
    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

    Do it while not expecting anything from anyone except Allah.
    islamway
    اللهم ارزقنا حُسن الخاتِمة

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    • #3
      Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

      TRULY only allah will ever only give us what we deserve and more
      in fact can we even claim to deserve much

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      • #4
        Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

        When you do a good deed, intend to please Allah.

        Whilst doing that deed, again check that your intention is merely the pleasure of Allah.

        After you're done, throw the deed in the ocean, meaning dont even look back that you did it, and never remind others of it, or even expect then to thank you for it.

        Once you start doing things for the real pleasure of Allah, then Allah places that appreciation is others hearts for us. And even he doesnt, thats not our aim. Our aim is the pleasure of Allah.
        وَالْعَصْرِ

        إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

        إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

        "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for usĒ - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

        "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

        Khanqah Habibiyah

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        • #5
          Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

          I understand that, but what i was getting at was something like this;

          If a wife does something for her husband (for example) and she does this because it's his right and for the sake of Allah she fulfills her obligation/his rigt, but he shows no appreciation.

          Same thing applies here, liike she should only expect something from Allah right? To not be disappointed by humans?
          (The hypocrites) will call the believers: "Were we not with you?" The believers will reply: "Yes! But you led yourselves into temptations, you looked forward for our destruction; you doubted (in Faith); and you were deceived by false desires, till the Command of Allah came to pass. And the chief deceiver (Satan) deceived you in respect of Allah."57:14

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          • #6
            Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

            Originally posted by Abu Jaffar View Post
            Do it while not expecting anything from anyone except Allah.
            Exactly, if you're genuinely doing something for someone you shouldn't expect anything in return

            If the person doesn't say thank you - its down to their bad manners, point it out to them when it involves them and someone other than yourself

            He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
            www.QuranicAudio.com
            www.Quran.com

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            • #7
              Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

              "Whoever does not give thanks to the people does not give thanks to Allaah" authentic narrated by Tirmidi and imam ahmed, authenticated by ibn Hiban if i recall, someone else can confirm.

              If we keep this in mind, just make sure the lack of "giving thanks" does not lead one to themselves become restricted in who they give thanks too.

              To want to feel appreciated is a normal and human instinct which every Muslim should fulfil, its something which is from the instinct of a man. Nothing wrong with wanting to be appreciated but when it does not come, don't stress over it, Surpress the emotion with the remembrance of Allah azzawajal, know that nothing is lost but rather it is recorded.

              A question which we would ask ourselves is, if we did something good, would we want thanks now (which is normal), or would we want the thanks in the next life in the form of reward, even though its natural to want to feel appreciated, its a "greater" level , if you wana put it like that, that one would suppress the need with the remembrance of Allah. Thus purifying ones intention purely for the Sake of Allah. Im sure people have tasted a glimpse of this one stage or another in life and can recall it, but the hard thing is to maintain it, something which the salaf struggled with, so how is it possible that we would not struggle with it. something one spend their entire life learning and trying to achieve.
              Last edited by aBu_aGinEgp; 11-01-11, 04:54 PM.

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              • #8
                Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

                Sorry wait i don't think i was really clear. Basically, what about when someone asks you do to something an when you do it they don't appreciate the effort etc? I was unclear.
                (The hypocrites) will call the believers: "Were we not with you?" The believers will reply: "Yes! But you led yourselves into temptations, you looked forward for our destruction; you doubted (in Faith); and you were deceived by false desires, till the Command of Allah came to pass. And the chief deceiver (Satan) deceived you in respect of Allah."57:14

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

                  Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
                  I understand that, but what i was getting at was something like this;

                  If a wife does something for her husband (for example) and she does this because it's his right and for the sake of Allah she fulfills her obligation/his rigt, but he shows no appreciation.

                  Same thing applies here, liike she should only expect something from Allah right? To not be disappointed by humans?
                  ppl may recieve some msg but reaction has ikhtilaaf dont u think?

                  lots of reasons and excuses for each other :)
                  Reported by Ibn al-Salah:

                  ولقد أحسن الحسن بن أبي زياد اللؤلؤي صاحب أبي حنيفة فيما بلغنا عنه أنه استفتي في مسألة فأخطأ فيها ولم يعرف الذي أفتاه فاكترى مناديا فنادى أن الحسن بن أبي زياد استفتي يوم كذا وكذا في مسألة فأخطأ فمن كان أفتاه الحسن بن أبي زياد بشيء فليرجع إليه
                  فلبث أياما لا يفتي حتى وجد صاحب الفتوى فأعلمه أنه أخطأ وإن الصواب كذا وكذا والله أعلم

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                  • #10
                    Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

                    Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
                    Sorry wait i don't think i was really clear. Basically, what about when someone asks you do to something an when you do it they don't appreciate the effort etc? I was unclear.
                    do the halaal for Allah's sake. whn one does this, askin for appreciation from the creation is meaningless
                    Reported by Ibn al-Salah:

                    ولقد أحسن الحسن بن أبي زياد اللؤلؤي صاحب أبي حنيفة فيما بلغنا عنه أنه استفتي في مسألة فأخطأ فيها ولم يعرف الذي أفتاه فاكترى مناديا فنادى أن الحسن بن أبي زياد استفتي يوم كذا وكذا في مسألة فأخطأ فمن كان أفتاه الحسن بن أبي زياد بشيء فليرجع إليه
                    فلبث أياما لا يفتي حتى وجد صاحب الفتوى فأعلمه أنه أخطأ وإن الصواب كذا وكذا والله أعلم

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                    • #11
                      Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

                      Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
                      Sorry wait i don't think i was really clear. Basically, what about when someone asks you do to something an when you do it they don't appreciate the effort etc? I was unclear.
                      Even if they asked you, or even commanded you, the reason you did it was ultimately for the pleasure of Allah, so why seek your appreciation from anyone else?
                      وَالْعَصْرِ

                      إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

                      إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

                      "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for usĒ - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

                      "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

                      Khanqah Habibiyah

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

                        Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
                        Sorry wait i don't think i was really clear. Basically, what about when someone asks you do to something an when you do it they don't appreciate the effort etc? I was unclear.
                        yeh, i understood. people already answered the Q, Jen and Abu J summed it up well. its all to do with purifying your intention, even if someone was to ask and you did something directly for a person, and they did not give you thanks then that's a short coming on their side, as according to the narration i mentioned.(maybe they don't know)

                        but my point was, don't let it effect the action nor your thanking the people even if they did not thank you. purify intentions only for the sake of Allah, and know that your reward is with him. its not easy, it's something man struggles with for his entire life to achieve but when n if you do, not only does the permissable actions become rewarding but when people don't show you appreciation, you wont be effected.

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                        • #13
                          Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

                          :jkk:

                          Gotcha!
                          (The hypocrites) will call the believers: "Were we not with you?" The believers will reply: "Yes! But you led yourselves into temptations, you looked forward for our destruction; you doubted (in Faith); and you were deceived by false desires, till the Command of Allah came to pass. And the chief deceiver (Satan) deceived you in respect of Allah."57:14

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

                            its hard sometimes, but we shouldn't really expect from people. Reminding yourself of why/who we do certain actions for will always make you think 'why do I want that person to recognise such and such anyway?'. However, its natural that we may have those feelings because we are humans and we like to be appreciated. But just don't expect it too much, otherwise you end up disappointed, whereas if you don't expect people to appreciate your reward is with Allah.
                            check out this blog>>>http://myworldmuslimah.wordpress.com/

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                            • #15
                              Re: How do you handle lack of appreciation?

                              Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
                              Bismillah

                              I've got a question. How do you handle lack of appreciation and acknowledgement of one's actions? You do something for yourself partly but with a bigger person in mind but there is no appreciation shown from their art, and then you feel hurt inside. Is it to know that Allah accepts your actions and that He swt is appreciative and your reward for those actions are With Him?
                              violence. nah im just messing.

                              really, times like these are a good time to reflect on yourself and ask yourself "umar, why are you doing deeds? to be seen of men, or for the sake of Allah?"

                              if your doing for the sake of Allah, then know that your deeds are recorded in a clear book, and it will come back to you eventually.

                              even though we are human beings and all, its best to move on foward and just keep doing what your doing. or at least thats what i do, but im sure there is a better method.
                              And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

                              O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

                              JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

                              sponsor an orphan

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