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Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

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  • Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

    One can't watch continuously in a person's eyes while talking, specially to elders / seniors / stranger..etc. How do you keep your eyes switch places during conversations ? What factors does it depend upon ? I mean at times people look towards the wall, or floor while talking... Does looking straight into your eyes at times make you uncomfortable and interrupt your thought process while talking to someone you respect a lot ?

    Anything else you feel that makes a discussion easy going / difficult only because of improper use of staring/looking ?


    p.s. Serious replies and clean ones only appreciated. Of course I am only talking about discussions with "Mehrams". We all (Muslims) know that we aren't allowed to look at the non-mehram if we are forced to have a conversation.
    Read not to contradict and confute, not to believe and take for granted, not to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider. Inhale positive, exhale negative

  • #2
    Re: Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

    Staring into someones eyes is creepy and too intense. I read somewhere you should look at the person then look away for a few seconds and then back at the person and repeat the cycle.

    I wouldn't recommend staring at the wall or another object too much might make it seem like you're bored and not interested.

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    • #3
      Re: Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

      yeah, eye contact is essential but not a full stare. Occassionally move eyes to the left or right and then back at their eyes. Not the floor and not your hands cox fidgeting=unprofessional and shows lack of interest. Erm...eye contact is what i keep with the odd moving of away of eyes.

      An keeping hands still and folded together also open your hands if you're sitting coz then it'll show ure not closed and gives relief to other person. Keep head up as it shows youre interested in what the individiual is saying. Erm.... Yea those are a few pointers.

      But i do suggest reading alan and barbaras book on body language, it does wonders as well as other psychology related books to give you an overall idea of human mentality which'll alert things and allow you to turn an uncomfortable scenario/convo into a relaxed one.
      (The hypocrites) will call the believers: "Were we not with you?" The believers will reply: "Yes! But you led yourselves into temptations, you looked forward for our destruction; you doubted (in Faith); and you were deceived by false desires, till the Command of Allah came to pass. And the chief deceiver (Satan) deceived you in respect of Allah."57:14

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      • #4
        Re: Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

        Originally posted by x--x View Post
        I read somewhere you should look at the person then look away for a few seconds and then back at the person and repeat the cycle.
        That.

        Plus, I thought elders want you to look at them when they talk to you. It shows you're paying attention.
        Don't they say..."Look at me when I'm talking to you, yound man"?
        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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        • #5
          Re: Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

          lol i always look at their eyes,more like 'into their eyeeees' ,dooesn't matter how long it's for (can't be that long man).
          I know people that look at other's lips ... don't like that though.
          "Treat people in such a way and live amongst them in such a manner that if you die they weep over you, and when you are alive, they crave for your company"

          [Hadhrat Ali R.A]

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          • #6
            Re: Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

            Originally posted by Submit To Peace View Post
            One can't watch continuously in a person's eyes while talking, specially to elders / seniors / stranger..etc. How do you keep your eyes switch places during conversations ? What factors does it depend upon ? I mean at times people look towards the wall, or floor while talking... Does looking straight into your eyes at times make you uncomfortable and interrupt your thought process while talking to someone you respect a lot ?

            Anything else you feel that makes a discussion easy going / difficult only because of improper use of staring/looking ?


            p.s. Serious replies and clean ones only appreciated. Of course I am only talking about discussions with "Mehrams". We all (Muslims) know that we aren't allowed to look at the non-mehram if we are forced to have a conversation.
            I talk to mahrams and non mahrams and keep eye contact. P.S I am not a sex fiend therefore, I will NOT lower my gaze. It is rude. Unless the person is stunning and I'm like "Woah!, Astagfurilla she is hot I better lower my gaze and repent"

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            • #7
              Re: Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

              I feel uncomfortable looking into a persons eyes and even though I look at a person when I'm talking to them, I'm usually too in my own head to pay attention to what their face looks like.
              <--- I look like that and when I'm not :zzz:, I'm usually like like:banbear:and like:rotfl:but sometimes I'm like as well.

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              • #8
                Re: Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

                Can't make eye contact for too long

                I just look near the ground or behind the person or towards the side of the person.

                A3udhu billahis samii'ilAlimi minash-shaytanirrajim

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                • #9
                  Re: Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

                  During a training session, we were advised the following:

                  For strangers the field of vision is around the eyes.
                  For friends the field of vision is like an upside down triangle covering the face. This softens the intensity.
                  For those that you are intimately close to the triangle goes to just below the neck ....

                  Not sure if I practise it....

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                  • #10
                    Re: Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

                    Originally posted by islam4u2 View Post
                    I talk to mahrams and non mahrams and keep eye contact. P.S I am not a sex fiend therefore, I will NOT lower my gaze. It is rude. Unless the person is stunning and I'm like "Woah!, Astagfurilla she is hot I better lower my gaze and repent"
                    Regardless of whether you are a sex fiend or not.. the command is to lower your gaze. That excuse is from shaytaan. Put it this way.. whatever the topic.. however the non mahram looks.. would you prefer to die looking at the non mahram or following Allahs command and keeping your gaze down? Knowing that we can die at any second, that is how we should act in them kind of situations

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                    • #11
                      Re: Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

                      Originally posted by zaidfp View Post
                      Regardless of whether you are a sex fiend or not.. the command is to lower your gaze. That excuse is from shaytaan. Put it this way.. whatever the topic.. however the non mahram looks.. would you prefer to die looking at the non mahram or following Allahs command and keeping your gaze down? Knowing that we can die at any second, that is how we should act in them kind of situations
                      lowering gaze does not literally mean staring at the floor, ask a sheikh.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

                        isnt it like rude that when the other person is talking and ur not looking at him even for like 2 secs cause it shows ur not interested and he starts to think ur arrogant or something



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                        • #13
                          Re: Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

                          Originally posted by islam4u2 View Post
                          lowering gaze does not literally mean staring at the floor, ask a sheikh.
                          so you can keep eye contact?

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                          • #14
                            Re: Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

                            Originally posted by noobz View Post
                            isnt it like rude that when the other person is talking and ur not looking at him even for like 2 secs cause it shows ur not interested and he starts to think ur arrogant or something
                            It can be rude but it is more a sign of weakness, you look like a victim or uncomfortable
                            My Blog http://historyeyesopened.tumblr.com/ Watch out sister Nousername
                            Ummah forum mentality depiction by BBC (warning) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

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                            • #15
                              Re: Where to keep one's eyes during a conversation ?

                              it is not a sign of weakness!!
                              Last edited by AvenueToPeace; 25-12-10, 03:27 PM.

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