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I don't know what I want from life (career, marriage, etc)

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  • #16
    Re: I don't know what I want from life (career, marriage, etc)

    I would say not to worry about not being 100% sure about your career choice at the moment, very few people know exactly what they want to do, at least you have a vague idea, which is a start.

    And as for your friends, i know how you feel, i lost many of my friends when i converted, but i saw it that if they didn't want to be my friends because of my conversion then they are not the kind of people that i need in my life.


    • #17
      Re: I don't know what I want from life (career, marriage, etc)

      Salam alaykum Wolfn

      I am sorry to hear you are feeling down

      Dont worry if you feel alone because true believers are always alone. Dont think that all muslims are believers and that is probably why you are not finding closeness with them

      And the disbelievers from your high school especially with all the brainwashing that they have towards muslims, will feel different towards you now, but its not you as a person

      But eventually you will meet some true believers and be close friends with them inshallah

      I think its very nice that you want to make your customers day better by being kind to them, and believe me there were times when some rude waiter ruined my evening so its very good you are doing your job properly, the others are in the wrong, especially if they are lying or laughing and complaining about you, so again this is something that every good believer has to suffer with the ignorance and bad treatemnt of others, even prophets suffered the same, so just ignore it and dont let it affect you

      Marriage wise, pray to Allah to give you the best spouse, its ok to have preferences in your spouse, but also know that being open to new possibilities is good as what you think you want now, may not be what you always want, so ask Allah to guide you and give you watever is best and make you happy with such. Pray istikharah if you have a particual girl in mind

      Try to change your mindset and dont let these people bother you then you will be happy regardless, and try your hardest to finish your education, which will promise you a good job in the future, a more stable life and hopefully new friends
      " O you who have believed, do not follow the footsteps of Satan. And whoever follows the footsteps of Satan - indeed, he enjoins immorality and wrongdoing. And if not for the favor of Allah upon you and His mercy, not one of you would have been pure, ever, but Allah purifies whom He wills, and Allah is Hearing and Knowing. "
      Surah An-Nur, Verse 21


      • #18
        Re: I don't know what I want from life (career, marriage, etc)


        I hope your welll and inshallah pray everything gets sorted out!

        To be honest I was in the same position as you.

        Firstly I believe your a convert....its going seem odd when I say this....dont worry about your career or marriage or anything just yet.

        People say job is is not if you know Allah swt provides all no matter how rich or poor you are, your still going to enter in the mud like everyone else. So it really doesnt matter waht career do you if you know this.

        I would suggest your firstly decide what stage you are in your belief? Do you want to really dwell into the faith or just keep the basics.

        If you decided you want to jsut pray 5 times and day and only do what is neccessary then you can decide your job around it. Also then you need to decide what kidn of lifestyle will suit you and especially think how it will help your family. Will your children be ok with it?

        Then you can do any job at any time so I wouldnt suggest you worry exactly what job yet as in the west its easy to take any route at any age just takes longer thats all. For know try to go into something you would like to do and REALISTIC that is halaal to do so acting as you agreed would be a tough one. Everyjob pays money it depends what you are satisfied with.

        If you want to dwell in your religion alot then you have to rememebr career choice become limited this doesnt mean you cant do much i.e. in terms of careers on the contrary its the opposite it helps to make your mind up as it eliminates certain jobs so you dont need to worry about following that route less preassure! So if you want to dwell in religion alot then you need to understand being rich at the same will be difficult unless Allah swt wills as most of your time will be put towards religion! So you cant exactly work alot of over time and stuff. hence you need a job that you can survive on....remember this life is temporary so anything you do is good enough as long as you religious belief are correct and performing good deeds.

        Thats how you decide what jobs you want by deciding what life you want and accepting that in future you might chaneg your views on the job in the future and hence need to change your job prospectives ifso dont panick just have patients.......nothing worth having is easy!

        In terms of current job its lame......I understand why you want to leave in my opinion leave! I know its hard in the economy and what and you wanted free food when you converted but is it worth the mental strain ifso then stay ifnot leave and looking for something else. If it means you eat less then so what at least you wont have people shouting at you. If it means you range of food variety is limited so by the will fo Allah swt this can change later. Remeber everything you have to struggle for otherwise it wont be a test. And struggle in something you are determined to do is not heard as you are making an effort in something you want hence it doesnt seem that bad just a little time pass.

        Marriage....take it from deffinitely dont marry someone if are not on the same wavelength unless you are both are willing to compramise....otehrwise could be difficult. Also if you dont go ahead you have to remember your life style might not meet other womens need, it wont mean its the end marry later if you can. If you cant its better to stick to the truth then live a lie!
        Inshallah if you are to marry no matter what happens you will dont look into things so much. Just focus on being a good muslim and when there is a need for somethign pursue it with pure intentions and it will automatically will be sorted out for you. I.e. do it in the mind set that it will please Allah swt and then just go for it. Allah swt will give it you if you are meant to have ifnot you wont get it. Once again dont look into it soo much just live your life halaal and good let Allah swt worry about providing you we have no say just make sure you are doing good deeds! Hope it was some help!

        My Salaam