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  • Tough one!

    Hi all! I'm new here. Assallamu alaykum.

    I'm not a Muslim, but I'm considering very seriously the possibility of reverting. I've been investigating religion for many years now (after realising the presence of God); I've considered seriously (and "tried") Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, the Bahá'í Faith. The first of these I found acceptable, and without real issue; but I wasn't spurred on to believe them. The last of this, I simply never came to really believe in it. But all the meanwhile, I've been interested in Islam. I've read about it to no end, read every commentary (both for and against), and in the end, I still come back to it! So, I'm thinking about reverting. It's a decision that won't be taken lightly.

    One thing with this; my fiancée and I (whom I'm about to marry in January) own a house together, and we're expecting a baby next year too! She's not a Muslim; she believes in God, so you could consider her Christian, but as we live together (and are unmarried), I understand this might be a problem from an Islamic point of view.

    Does anyone have any advice for me? This is a bit of a pickle!

    Salaam!

  • #2
    Re: Tough one!

    Hey, A really warm welcome to the forum :)

    Its made me really happy to know that you are considering Islam, and I pray that Allah guides you to the truth and makes it easy for you.

    As for your dilemma.....I wont comment on for that the time being. Perhaps it would better answered by a Scholar, Insha'Allah.

    I would advise you to rememeber that this is an Internet forum, where there is immense disparity amongst the posters in terms of their personal faith and expereinces, and whatever comments you do receive will quite often be a reflection of an individual way of thinking.

    However, saying that we do have many many knowledgable people, or those who have been in similar situations when accepting Islam who will be Insha'allah be able to shed light on your dilemma.

    If you have any questions on Islam, feel free to ask away......

    Looking forward to your posts
    وَالْعَصْرِ

    إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

    إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

    "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

    "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

    Khanqah Habibiyah

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Tough one!

      Hey Jenicca; thanks very much for your welcome!

      I understand completely your comments about searching for answers or suggestions online; I came here full-well aware that I can expect a full range of replies, some warm and welcoming, and others perhaps falling elsewhere on the spectrum. But I know that everyone comes to their own understanding in a different way, so I won't judge for that! I'm just interested to hear what people think.

      With any luck, there may be others who have a point of view to offer :)

      Cheers.
      Last edited by justshyofthemar; 22-10-10, 12:01 PM. Reason: removed quote of entire last post

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Tough one!

        So, what's stopping you from reverting?
        My advice: Don't delay it.
        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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        • #5
          Re: Tough one!

          Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
          So, what's stopping you from reverting?
          My advice: Don't delay it.
          I agree.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Tough one!

            Originally posted by justshyofthemar View Post
            Hi all! I'm new here. Assallamu alaykum.

            I'm not a Muslim, but I'm considering very seriously the possibility of reverting. I've been investigating religion for many years now (after realising the presence of God); I've considered seriously (and "tried") Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, the Bahá'í Faith. The first of these I found acceptable, and without real issue; but I wasn't spurred on to believe them. The last of this, I simply never came to really believe in it. But all the meanwhile, I've been interested in Islam. I've read about it to no end, read every commentary (both for and against), and in the end, I still come back to it! So, I'm thinking about reverting. It's a decision that won't be taken lightly.

            One thing with this; my fiancée and I (whom I'm about to marry in January) own a house together, and we're expecting a baby next year too! She's not a Muslim; she believes in God, so you could consider her Christian, but as we live together (and are unmarried), I understand this might be a problem from an Islamic point of view.

            Does anyone have any advice for me? This is a bit of a pickle!

            Salaam!
            You should try chutney instead.

            W/Salaam.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Tough one!

              Originally posted by justshyofthemar View Post
              Hi all! I'm new here. Assallamu alaykum.

              I'm not a Muslim, but I'm considering very seriously the possibility of reverting. I've been investigating religion for many years now (after realising the presence of God); I've considered seriously (and "tried") Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, the Bahá'í Faith. The first of these I found acceptable, and without real issue; but I wasn't spurred on to believe them. The last of this, I simply never came to really believe in it. But all the meanwhile, I've been interested in Islam. I've read about it to no end, read every commentary (both for and against), and in the end, I still come back to it! So, I'm thinking about reverting. It's a decision that won't be taken lightly.

              One thing with this; my fiancée and I (whom I'm about to marry in January) own a house together, and we're expecting a baby next year too! She's not a Muslim; she believes in God, so you could consider her Christian, but as we live together (and are unmarried), I understand this might be a problem from an Islamic point of view.

              Does anyone have any advice for me? This is a bit of a pickle!

              Salaam!
              Even if you can't do everything perfectly right away (or ever!), it's better to be a Muslim who commits some sins than a non-Muslim who knows the truth of Islam, but rejects it.

              As a practical matter, you'll have to discuss this honestly with your fiancee if you plan to marry her. You should make an effort to raise the baby as a Muslim, and this will be difficult or maybe impossible if she's not on the same page.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Tough one!

                Originally posted by PurpleMuslimah View Post
                Even if you can't do everything perfectly right away (or ever!), it's better to be a Muslim who commits some sins than a non-Muslim who knows the truth of Islam, but rejects it.

                As a practical matter, you'll have to discuss this honestly with your fiancee if you plan to marry her. You should make an effort to raise the baby as a Muslim, and this will be difficult or maybe impossible if she's not on the same page.
                i agree with this advice :up:
                as for ne thing u have done in the past which is not allowed in islam, that would b wiped out if u accept islam so its not an issue u come with a clean slate. and ur allowed to marry a people of the book, so as a christian its not impossible 2 marry her, so dont think the situation would have to be tooo difficult. definitely need 2 discuss with her openly so u both understand each other, but all that shouldnt b an obsticle to u becoming muslim if u believe in it. obviously u have to try to live according to islam as much as possible, so if u wasnt gonna get married it would be quite dodgy but alhamdulillah u already have that plan there
                .: Rufaida :.
                .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
                http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
                “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
                but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
                ~ Ibn Atallah

                Ramadan Activities for Children
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                • #9
                  Re: Tough one!

                  Originally posted by islam4u2 View Post
                  You should try chutney instead.
                  I've tried it before, but I really do think pickles come out on top as winner! Depends how they're prepared, though.

                  Originally posted by PurpleMuslimah View Post
                  Even if you can't do everything perfectly right away (or ever!), it's better to be a Muslim who commits some sins than a non-Muslim who knows the truth of Islam, but rejects it.

                  As a practical matter, you'll have to discuss this honestly with your fiancee if you plan to marry her. You should make an effort to raise the baby as a Muslim, and this will be difficult or maybe impossible if she's not on the same page.
                  Thanks for your advice PurpleMuslimah. I know what you mean when you say it's better to be an imperfect Muslim than a non-Muslim in any respect. We've spoken about raising the children once so far, but I think more discussion is needed.

                  Originally posted by .: Anna :. View Post
                  i agree with this advice :up:
                  as for ne thing u have done in the past which is not allowed in islam, that would b wiped out if u accept islam so its not an issue u come with a clean slate. and ur allowed to marry a people of the book, so as a christian its not impossible 2 marry her, so dont think the situation would have to be tooo difficult. definitely need 2 discuss with her openly so u both understand each other, but all that shouldnt b an obsticle to u becoming muslim if u believe in it. obviously u have to try to live according to islam as much as possible, so if u wasnt gonna get married it would be quite dodgy but alhamdulillah u already have that plan there
                  Hi Anna, thanks for your advice! We've spoken about my possible conversion quite a few times already now, and how that would change things, and she's quite accepting and understanding.

                  I think I'll go to a mosque when I next have the opportunity and may talk to someone there, and insha'allah I may make the decision then. :-)

                  Thanks to all for advice given.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Tough one!

                    Quite a bit of a pickle.

                    Originally posted by .: Anna :. View Post
                    i agree with this advice :up:
                    as for ne thing u have done in the past which is not allowed in islam, that would b wiped out if u accept islam so its not an issue u come with a clean slate. and ur allowed to marry a people of the book, so as a christian its not impossible 2 marry her, so dont think the situation would have to be tooo difficult. definitely need 2 discuss with her openly so u both understand each other, but all that shouldnt b an obsticle to u becoming muslim if u believe in it. obviously u have to try to live according to islam as much as possible, so if u wasnt gonna get married it would be quite dodgy but alhamdulillah u already have that plan there
                    You can marry people of the book? Who are they. The people of the book were those who followed the unaltered version 'the original' holy book therefore following the new versions does not make one so, I doubt many original copies even exist.... And all the Trinity, Jesus is the Son of God etc is shirk imho, so please explain.
                    Time beat you to it

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Tough one!

                      Originally posted by Stylish-Girly View Post
                      You can marry people of the book? Who are they. The people of the book were those who followed the unaltered version 'the original' holy book therefore following the new versions does not make one so, I doubt many original copies even exist.... And all the Trinity, Jesus is the Son of God etc is shirk imho, so please explain.
                      I think most people refer to 5:5 when they say this: "... Also, you may marry the chaste women among the believers, as well as the chaste women among the followers of previous scripture, provided you pay them their due dowries."

                      The Qur'an was revealed because the previous scriptures had already been corrupted; thus at the time of the revelation of the above ayah the "followers of the previous scripture" referred to people following the (probably corrupted) scripture at the time.

                      So I believe it refers to current Christians and Jews.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Tough one!

                        Originally posted by justshyofthemar View Post
                        I think most people refer to 5:5 when they say this: "... Also, you may marry the chaste women among the believers, as well as the chaste women among the followers of previous scripture, provided you pay them their due dowries."

                        The Qur'an was revealed because the previous scriptures had already been corrupted; thus at the time of the revelation of the above ayah the "followers of the previous scripture" referred to people following the (probably corrupted) scripture at the time.

                        So I believe it refers to current Christians and Jews.
                        You are correct bro. MashAllah you really did your research. :) You should definitely join the family. This is the greatest gift you can give to yourself.

                        Here is a detailed explanation for marriage with AhlulKitaab:
                        http://islamqa.com/en/ref/44695/marrying%20christian

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Tough one!

                          You already sound like a muslim to me! May Allah SWT show you the truth and light and lead you to the straight path, and make it easy for you, Ameen.

                          Continue to talk to your fiancee and you will need to be clear about what you want and what she wants. If you are sure about becoming a muslim, then tell her. You need to let her know so it won't get worse later on. You are allowed to marry Christians and Jews from what i remember, or someone correct me if i'm wrong. If you become a muslim, Insha'Allah, and you learn about Islam, as you start growing in Islam there will be so many things that will make you realise why certain things are wrong and you never thought they were that bad before, it truly opens your eyes!

                          I am a revert myself Alhumdulillah, and it is the best decision i have ever made, my eyes have opened and i sometimes just look at my life before, being a christian, and i just think WOW, how was i so gullible to think this was okay, and saying this was okay and doing that was okay and believing so and so. I am so glad i am a muslim!

                          In your situation i hope you are having serious discussions with your fiancee, and maybe by you converting Insha'Allah she may see your changes and convert herself, Insha'Allah :)
                          If your heart is set to become a muslim, please do not delay, that is what i did and i should have converted earlier :) but i thank Allah that he let me live long enough to say my shahadah :)

                          The Prophet (saw) said, Verily, the knots of Islam will be undone one by one. Whenever one knot is lost, then the people grabbed onto the one which came after it. The first of these knots will be ruling and the last will be the salah.[1]

                          The author of Sitoon as-Sultaniyah says about this Hadith: “It was the Prophet who tied together the knots of Islam, including the uppermost knot of ruling after he established the Islamic state…As mentioned by Imam Mawardi the leadership has been proscribed as the succession of the Prophet in protecting the deen and governing the societal affairs. In this respect – Imam Baidawi mentioned that the Imama/Khalifah is the succession from the Prophet in the establishment of the laws of the Shari’ah. So without the Imam the laws lie unapplied and the territory is not protected effectively. The hadith indicates that it is the uppermost knot that keeps the subsequent knots safe from being untied. This is since it is the ruler that is responsible to apply Islam in its entirety, to implement the limits proscribed by Allah and to protect the society. Imam Ahmed mentioned without an Imam (for the Muslims as their leader) there would be fitna, and the destruction of the symbols of Islam ending with the Prayer is a great fitna.[2]




                          [1] Tabarani, Musnad Ahmad and Al Hakim in his Al Mustadrak
                          [2] Ibid. pg. 46

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Tough one!

                            Hello and a good day to you (err evening? :P)
                            The month of Ramadhan [is that] in which was revealed the Qur'an, a guidance for the people and clear proofs of guidance and criterion.(2:185)

                            And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided. (2:186)

                            And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, (2:155) Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return." (2:156)

                            Reported by Ibn al-Salah:

                            ولقد أحسن الحسن بن أبي زياد اللؤلؤي صاحب أبي حنيفة فيما بلغنا عنه أنه استفتي في مسألة فأخطأ فيها ولم يعرف الذي أفتاه فاكترى مناديا فنادى أن الحسن بن أبي زياد استفتي يوم كذا وكذا في مسألة فأخطأ فمن كان أفتاه الحسن بن أبي زياد بشيء فليرجع إليه
                            فلبث أياما لا يفتي حتى وجد صاحب الفتوى فأعلمه أنه أخطأ وإن الصواب كذا وكذا والله أعلم

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                            • #15
                              Re: Tough one!

                              Hey!

                              Welcome, hope you do the right thing.

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