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  • A Son or Daughter?

    Asalaam Alaykum everyone! I hope every one of you are doing well Insh'Allah

    Okay so...I need some opinions here.

    1)Does the responsibility of the parents come down to a daughter when a son fails to recognize his duties towards his parents?

    2)Is it fair for the daughters to sacrifice their dreams in order to fulfill their responsibilities towards their parents?

    *Now in this case, the parents are selfless and do not and would never want their daughters giving up their dreams and wishes for the sake of them. The daughter(s) take care of their little needs and love them very much*.

    lets see the responses! :)

  • #2
    Re: A Son or Daughter?

    as far as i know arent your parents good condition more important than your own dreams?i mean parents are very very important in İslam.

    but it doesnt have to be black or white;this or that.i mean u can find a solution to take care of your parent while pursuing your dreams at the same time.dont be quick to decide.maybe if you change your aims it will be better for you in the future.

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    • #3
      Re: A Son or Daughter?

      yes it is the daughters responsibility when the son fails to do so.

      i dont see it as unfair. me and my sis have to wait to get married because my older brother did a runner, financially. i dont mind sacrifice aslong as my mum remembers to vouch for us on the day of judgement. :)
      glass half empty

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      • #4
        Re: A Son or Daughter?

        Originally posted by mujhadia View Post
        yes it is the daughters responsibility when the son fails to do so.

        i dont see it as unfair. me and my sis have to wait to get married because my older brother did a runner, financially. i dont mind sacrifice aslong as my mum remembers to vouch for us on the day of judgement. :)
        What if, say, you get a proposal from a pious brother or your sister gets it?
        Will you turn it down cause you're responsible for your parents?
        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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        • #5
          Re: A Son or Daughter?

          Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
          What if, say, you get a proposal from a pious brother or your sister gets it?
          Will you turn it down cause you're responsible for your parents?
          i will turn it down seeing as i am the oldest but i will encourage my sister to go for it. and then hopefully when my younger brother gets his act together i'll be able to get married. me and my sis will still contribute financially if that day ever comes.

          and if it doesnt, well, my mum is my responsibility, she will stay with me.
          Last edited by mujhadia; 21-10-10, 03:30 PM.
          glass half empty

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          • #6
            Re: A Son or Daughter?

            I am sure if the brother who proposes to the sister (if he is good and pious) will not mind joining in the sis effort to help her family. He will not take her away but rather agree to provide for his mother in law as he will for his mother.

            to the OP
            1) yes the daughter should step up and help. Just because responsibility isn't on her legally doesn't mean she is off the hook. they are still her parents. Even if a son was doing his job, the sis should never stop doing all she can too. In case where the son isn't present or no brother was ever born, the daughters should take care of their parents

            2) How is a daughter giving up her dream by taking care of parents????/ what dream??? traveling the world alone??? being married? having kids? education? she can compromise and get the best of both world. If she looks at taking care of her parents as giving up her dream, imagine what her parents gave up to take care of her. Also based on this view sons give up lot of dreams than.

            my answer, GIRL in this hypothetical situation, NEED TO STOP BEING SELFISH.

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            • #7
              Re: A Son or Daughter?

              @Kya...

              Good point :
              "If she looks at taking care of her parents as giving up her dream, imagine what her parents gave up to take care of her"

              :)

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              • #8
                Re: A Son or Daughter?

                part of a person's "dream" should include the well being of their parents.
                Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

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                • #9
                  Re: A Son or Daughter?

                  :salams,

                  Islaam lays a great emphasis upon the believers to render severices to their parents whole heartedly and be grateful to them because they spare no pains in bringing them up. Both,son and daughter have responsibilities for their parents,if any child of a parent can afford to sustain,take care of his/her parents,he/she should serve them and bear the burden of their sustenance especially in old age without any resentment. This service must be accompanied by willing signs of respect,affection and regard for their parents. Abu Huraira(may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that Allaahs Apostle(peace and blessings of Allaah upon him) saying: "Let him be be humbled to dust:let him be hhumbled to dust.It was said: Allaahs Apostle,who is he?He repled: He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them but he does not enter Paradise(he did not serve them well and ths not entitled to Paradise)." (Muslim)

                  As I said before both son and daughter have responsibilities toward their parents,and if one for whatever reason fails to serve their parents,the other should be there in place to help them,insha'Allaah.As for your second question,It is lawful to divorce a woman to seek pleasures of the parents because the duty towards the parents is more important than the duty of towards the wife.If a son can sacrifice this than surely a daughter can give her dreams up,but that tends not to be the case because parents want their children to succeed and usually try not holding their children back,but if the time arises both son and daughter should be ready to sacrifice their dreams and serve their parents.By dreams I assume you mean goals,these goals are probably temporary for this temporary world(for example a good job in this world) that is merely a goal for this temporary Dunya(world) make afterlife goals should you be doing,insha'Allaah may Allaah help us all to acheive heaven and forgive us all for our sins,ameen.

                  Insha'Allaah this has helped you,and has benefited you and others.

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                  • #10
                    Re: A Son or Daughter?

                    For me life's pretty black and white , i see money and thawab as the only two things worth gaining in this life.

                    so taking care of parents is pretty much high up there

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: A Son or Daughter?

                      Originally posted by SisMuslimah View Post

                      1)Does the responsibility of the parents come down to a daughter when a son fails to recognize his duties towards his parents?
                      >>> Responsibility of the parents towards each child is not related to behavior of other child and same applies to the children. However, you can say that where there are more than one children, and one / some of these for some reasons are not in a position to help, the others may step up.

                      Originally posted by SisMuslimah View Post
                      2)Is it fair for the daughters to sacrifice their dreams in order to fulfill their responsibilities towards their parents?
                      >>> When things are being done correctly, the clash of responsibilities towards parents and Dreams of the daughter would not arise.

                      Why the parents should have such responsibilities which CLASH with DREAMS of their daughter and why the daughter should have such DREAMS which CLASH with her responsibilities towards the parents.

                      Sensible parents and sensible daughter would never let such situation arise. Even if it arises, an adjustment acceptable to both should be a better solution.

                      however, for academic discussion, responsibility is equal, ie if the parents come to know the dreams of the daughter and don't find any thing un-ethical in it, its their responsibility to help her, and if the daughter comes across her desires vs parents, she should try adjust her desire suitably.
                      Last edited by mwaraitch; 25-10-10, 08:50 PM.
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                      • #12
                        Re: A Son or Daughter?

                        Originally posted by GuCcI View Post
                        part of a person's "dream" should include the well being of their parents.
                        Very well said.
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