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Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

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  • Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

    Seriously this thing annoys me alot.

    I mean these young teenage sisters think that by marrying someone their life will change into positive by a million times. And then they say they are ready to marry and have kids.

    Seriously at 17 yrs of age? I seriously doubt. At this time you have 100 better things to worry about than claiming your ready for getting pregnant and taking care of a child.
    Some may mature into it when they do actually get a baby though (maybe).

    Then they bring up the hadith that says marriage is half of your deen . I mean do they even know who the Prophet (saws) said it to ? and how He (saws) said it? And was the Hadeeth to meant generally or was it in certain special situation? and what did the Prophet (saws) mean when He (saws) said it?

    I mean before marriage you need to sort out your

    Akhlaaq
    Aqeedah
    Fiqh issues
    Your Lifestyle
    Your maturity
    Stop committing Al kabaa'ir sins (major sins)
    Be a grateful son/daughter
    be a grateful slave of Allaah.
    Have you done Hajj or Umrah yet? Hows your Aadaab with others? Hows your Salaah? And what not.

    Yes I know females get mature faster but that doesn't mean they are ready for marriage at 17. That is just ridiculous. I mean at that age you should be focusing on Allah and His Limits set by Him instead of putting your attention on the husband or the imaginery kids you dream of.

    Anyone want to share their view.........
    Last edited by IbnulQayyim; 16-09-10, 03:25 AM. Reason: bold mistake

  • #2
    Re: Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

    If they wanna get married let them, why you hating for? And who said you have to be perfect in order to get married?

    Everyone's maturity level is diff. Some girls can be totally ready for marriage at 17 whereas there are 25 yr old women who just...aren't.

    And the world goes on

    edit: I do agree with one thing though.. girls need to stop thinking marriage will be the solution to all their life problems. Adding a husband to ur life just means u have a whole new set of problems to deal with..while cooking wicked meals and being an amazing wife at the same time..
    Last edited by zammy; 16-09-10, 03:34 AM.
    May we reach daruSalaam by His, and only His Decree
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    • #3
      Re: Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

      Originally posted by IbnulQayyim View Post
      I mean before marriage you need to sort out your

      Akhlaaq
      Aqeedah
      Fiqh issues
      Your Lifestyle
      Your maturity
      Stop committing Al kabaa'ir sins (major sins)
      Be a grateful son/daughter
      be a grateful slave of Allaah.
      Have you done Hajj or Umrah yet? Hows your Aadaab with others? Hows your Salaah? And what not.

      Yes I know females get mature faster but that doesn't mean they are ready for marriage at 17. That is just ridiculous. I mean at that age you should be focusing on Allah and His Limits set by Him instead of putting your attention on the husband or the imaginery kids you dream of.

      Anyone want to share their view.........

      I am so serial but those points are needed but that doesnt mean u cant do marriage if u dont have them perfect.

      None of those points even make sense... have u done hajj or umrah? ... ... where u getting this stuff?

      Whoever can get married should get married as said by Muhammad(sws) and thats that.

      CASE CLOSED.



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      • #4
        Re: Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

        Originally posted by noobz View Post
        I am so serial but those points are needed but that doesnt mean u cant do marriage if u dont have them perfect.

        None of those points even make sense... have u done hajj or umrah? ... ... where u getting this stuff?

        Whoever can get married should get married as said by Muhammad(sws) and thats that.

        CASE CLOSED.
        those q's are basically have u done these and lifted ur imaan and have a reputation in Allah's eyes before setting off for a serious life called marriage.

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        • #5
          Re: Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

          Originally posted by zammy View Post
          edit: I do agree with one thing though.. girls need to stop thinking marriage will be the solution to all their life problems. Adding a husband to ur life just means u have a whole new set of problems to deal with..while cooking wicked meals and being an amazing wife at the same time..
          thats what i totaly mean man

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          • #6
            Re: Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

            Originally posted by IbnulQayyim View Post
            those q's are basically have u done these and lifted ur imaan and have a reputation in Allah's eyes before setting off for a serious life called marriage.
            The Prophet Muhammad(sws) said whoever can get married should get married. He didnt add any exceptions to that. Marriage helps a man to lower his gaze and keep away from evil.



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            • #7
              Re: Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

              Originally posted by noobz View Post
              The Prophet Muhammad(sws) said whoever can get married should get married. He didnt add any exceptions to that. Marriage helps a man to lower his gaze and keep away from evil.
              I can get married right away this second also but does that mean that I should?

              Just because the Prophet (saws) said that doesnt mean you act blindly upon it. You must know what situation you are in and how and WHEN you should follow it.

              Note - im not saying that u shudnt follow nabi (saws) all im saying is it depends what he said and was his (saws) order a fardh or mustahhab or a sunnah command he gave in the hadeeths etc.... im not a dumbo jet that i reject muhammad's (saws) noble advice.

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              • #8
                Re: Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

                I can answer that because they have issues :)

                "Just because the Prophet (saws) said that doesnt mean you act blindly upon it" Thats so wrong to say! then you say ...

                "note - im not saying that u shudnt follow nabi (saws)" how does that work? They both contradict lmao

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                • #9
                  Re: Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

                  Originally posted by Ali21 View Post
                  I can answer that because they have issues :)

                  "Just because the Prophet (saws) said that doesnt mean you act blindly upon it" Thats so wrong to say! then you say ...

                  "note - im not saying that u shudnt follow nabi (saws)" how does that work? They both contradict lmao
                  I just cleared that why i said we shudnt just act bllindly upon it. I had meant we cannot act on it unless we know the meaning behind it and we shouldnt make islam so literal.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

                    Originally posted by IbnulQayyim View Post
                    Seriously this thing annoys me alot.

                    I mean these young teenage sisters think that by marrying someone their life will change into positive by a million times. And then they say they are ready to marry and have kids.

                    Seriously at 17 yrs of age? I seriously doubt. At this time you have 100 better things to worry about than claiming your ready for getting pregnant and taking care of a child.
                    Some may mature into it when they do actually get a baby though (maybe).

                    Then they bring up the hadith that says marriage is half of your deen . I mean do they even know who the Prophet (saws) said it to ? and how He (saws) said it? And was the Hadeeth to meant generally or was it in certain special situation? and what did the Prophet (saws) mean when He (saws) said it?

                    I mean before marriage you need to sort out your

                    Akhlaaq
                    Aqeedah
                    Fiqh issues
                    Your Lifestyle
                    Your maturity
                    Stop committing Al kabaa'ir sins (major sins)
                    Be a grateful son/daughter
                    be a grateful slave of Allaah.
                    Have you done Hajj or Umrah yet? Hows your Aadaab with others? Hows your Salaah? And what not.

                    Yes I know females get mature faster but that doesn't mean they are ready for marriage at 17. That is just ridiculous. I mean at that age you should be focusing on Allah and His Limits set by Him instead of putting your attention on the husband or the imaginery kids you dream of.

                    Anyone want to share their view.........
                    The Prophet (SAW) said to marry based on religion and religion encompasses all those points you have listed. If the sister reaches that level before 17 then Alhamdulilah. Some people, like me, have the view "I'm pretty decent in those things IbnulQayyim listed, but if I had a wife who was also decent in those we would help each other go farther up the ranks" and this is what the hadeeth "marriage is half the deen" means. It is a safeguard of evils which in turn increase 3amaal.

                    No one is perfect and commits sins on a daily basis.

                    The way you are presenting this information is that "sisters if you are under 20, it means you haven't reached or accomplished what I have listed thus don't even think about marriage". This is disrespectful.
                    Last edited by loonietoonie; 16-09-10, 04:35 AM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

                      i think you kinda have to step into their shoes and hijabs to understand this one brother. in general, females are pretty much programmed to start thinking about marriage at a very young age. depending on which cultural background they are from the attention, expectations, and pressure for muslim females especially to get married really gets turned up a few notches in their teenage years.

                      so if they gravitate towards thoughts or inclinations of marriage at what appears to be a young age then it's not really their fault and nor should it be a fault to begin with. typically, women think about marriage sooner than men but it's for a more well-rounded reason. they may actually think about starting a family and fulfilling their roles as a nurturing mother whereas guys may simply be concerned with avoiding temptations or having a halal outlet for their desires. not saying women don't have urges but because they aren't as visually stimulated by anything that walks & breathes like some brothers that gives them the advantage of a little more sabr/patience i believe.

                      and i think the trend is actually reversing. i think you will find younger brothers more readily accepting the idea of marriage at an earlier age while some sisters nowadays are very content with delaying the marriage process well into their mid to late 20s even. i think that is because of the free-mixing that goes on nowadays. brothers and sisters engage a lot more with each other today than they did 10 or even less than 5 years ago. the interactions leads brothers to want a sister and then want to get married because they fall hard for her and the sisters who now gain more attention from the brothers seemingly feel like they have a lot of options and wait to play out the best decision for them.

                      these are my opinions and, as always, if anyone's at fault here, blame it on the internet.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

                        I have to disagree with you bro a girl can get married after her menses so it doesnt matter if you or anyone else thinks they are not mature enough. Just look at how our beloved prophet:saw: married Aisha (RA) Did anyone say she was too young or not ready yet?

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                        • #13
                          Re: Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

                          it is young in the west but even in lebanon, a shiekh told me his mother was married at 14, and also because it's different lifelstyle there too. But my point is, she was also a very good wife at her age, and i'm not saying sisters should get married at that age though, but it is possible for a sister to be very mature at 17. it really depends on what is happening in your life and people are different.

                          The Prophet (saw) said, Verily, the knots of Islam will be undone one by one. Whenever one knot is lost, then the people grabbed onto the one which came after it. The first of these knots will be ruling and the last will be the salah.[1]

                          The author of Sitoon as-Sultaniyah says about this Hadith: “It was the Prophet who tied together the knots of Islam, including the uppermost knot of ruling after he established the Islamic state…As mentioned by Imam Mawardi the leadership has been proscribed as the succession of the Prophet in protecting the deen and governing the societal affairs. In this respect – Imam Baidawi mentioned that the Imama/Khalifah is the succession from the Prophet in the establishment of the laws of the Shari’ah. So without the Imam the laws lie unapplied and the territory is not protected effectively. The hadith indicates that it is the uppermost knot that keeps the subsequent knots safe from being untied. This is since it is the ruler that is responsible to apply Islam in its entirety, to implement the limits proscribed by Allah and to protect the society. Imam Ahmed mentioned without an Imam (for the Muslims as their leader) there would be fitna, and the destruction of the symbols of Islam ending with the Prayer is a great fitna.[2]




                          [1] Tabarani, Musnad Ahmad and Al Hakim in his Al Mustadrak
                          [2] Ibid. pg. 46

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                          • #14
                            Re: Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

                            Originally posted by *Aisha View Post
                            I have to disagree with you bro a girl can get married after her menses so it doesnt matter if you or anyone else thinks they are not mature enough. Just look at how our beloved prophet:saw: married Aisha (RA) Did anyone say she was too young or not ready yet?
                            that has mostly to do culture at that time. But now the age and time is different. Infact 2 scholars in saudi arabia are pushing for a minimum age to get married.



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                            • #15
                              Re: Why do young (below 20 aged) sisters consider marriage as their solution?

                              For a female 17 really isn't that young that your making out.
                              And to Allah belong the soldiers of the heavens and the earth, and ever is Allah Knowing and Wise. [And] that He may admit the believing men and the believing women to gardens beneath which rivers flow to abide therein eternally and remove from them their misdeeds - and ever is that, in the sight of Allah , a great attainment.

                              Surah Fatĥ 4/5

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