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Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

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  • Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

    Assalamu Allaikum sisters and brothers!
    I reverted to Islam about 2 years ago. Began to wear hijab about 2 months ago. I love it and i feel Allah is always with me.
    Originally i am from Moscow, Russia but i study and live in Toronto, Canada without any relative (just on my own). I go to the University.
    My parents don't know that i am muslim and i am not sure if i am able to tell them this year because otherwise i wont come back to Canada and my university would not be paid(they pay for my appartment and University).
    This October i am going back home (after one year) for 2 months.
    I dont want to take my hijab off but i have no other choice because i dont want to be killed, i dont want to get dirty looks and i want to come back to Canada.
    PS: My parent will not understand my choice because they dont think of Islam out-side the box. They believe that women have no right and that men marry 4 wives(basic idea). Even my russian "friends" do not support me.
    What should I do? BarakAllah and JazakAllahu Khayrun!

  • #2
    Re: Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

    wa alikumu salam wa rahmahtulahi wa babraktahu.

    have trust in Allah. it may be that through you Allah will guide them

    or it may be that you may be oppressed by their hands.

    this is part of the test of life sister.

    however, we are your brothers and sisters. we are here to help you. if somthing bad dose happen, rely on god and remember that its our duty as muslims to help one another.
    And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

    O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

    JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

    sponsor an orphan

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    • #3
      Re: Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

      wasalam n welcom here. ure post made me sad becaz ov the problems u r facing. i m also ANGRY becaz no1 has helped u.
      oyugen was here

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

        Originally posted by Gseleena View Post
        Assalamu Allaikum sisters and brothers!
        I reverted to Islam about 2 years ago. Began to wear hijab about 2 months ago. I love it and i feel Allah is always with me.
        Originally i am from Moscow, Russia but i study and live in Toronto, Canada without any relative (just on my own). I go to the University.
        My parents don't know that i am muslim and i am not sure if i am able to tell them this year because otherwise i wont come back to Canada and my university would not be paid(they pay for my appartment and University).
        This October i am going back home (after one year) for 2 months.
        I dont want to take my hijab off but i have no other choice because i dont want to be killed, i dont want to get dirty looks and i want to come back to Canada.
        PS: My parent will not understand my choice because they dont think of Islam out-side the box. They believe that women have no right and that men marry 4 wives(basic idea). Even my russian "friends" do not support me.
        What should I do? BarakAllah and JazakAllahu Khayrun!
        maybe some of the canadians here can point you to a masjid to go to for help and advise. It is better having personal support from sisters in your masjid.

        w/salaam wrb

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

          Thank you for every suggestion :) may Allah reward you all! <3
          I have many muslim friends who supports me here MashaAllah. The only sad part of all is my parents. I love them more than anybody. But i love Allah more than my parents. So there is a thing, i cannot wear hijab in my home country cuz of people who are racist and parents who wont understand my choice. I even tryed to hint on my conversion, but my mom got really ****ed.
          I also wondering if it is really bad if i take my hijab off for this 2 month but i will dress really modest.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

            Can you maybe wear a bandana, or a beanie with a scarf... basically any head gear / hat that will cover the top of your hair, and a scarf to cover the bottom?

            Also, pray to Allah to make it easy for you.
            SPREAD OF EVIL
            ZIONISM
            BOLLYWOOD

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

              Originally posted by Gseleena View Post
              This October i am going back home (after one year) for 2 months.
              I dont want to take my hijab off but i have no other choice because i dont want to be killed, i dont want to get dirty looks and i want to come back to Canada.
              W'salaam dear,
              Yes I've heard and seen how bad it is in Russia. In my opinion you shouldn't tell them yet because your safety depends on it. If your parents know then your closest relatives/friends/neighbours will also come to know and then you will become a very easy target for the sick movement that is spreading fast (I've seen some very disturbing vidoes shown to me by a russian I know; beating of muslims/foreigners to death etc).
              Until you become independent you need to keep a low profile.
              Instead of a hijab wear something like a bandana (I'm going to pm you some videoexamples), hat (hey they're quite in now; will also send you some links) etc.
              I think you should be able to get away with that since you're going back in October and it's going to be somewhat cold (fall season). If worst comes to worst then go for a ponytail or tie your hair in a bun and otherwise keep your neck and everything else covered.
              "Qui desiderat pacem, bellum praeparat; nemo provocare ne offendere audet quem intelliget superiorem esse pugnaturem"
              Whosoever desires peace prepares for war; no one provokes, nor dares to offend, those who they know to be superior in battle-Flavius Vegetius Renatus

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

                Originally posted by Reflection09 View Post
                Until you become independent you need to keep a low profile.
                Instead of a hijab wear something like a bandana (I'm going to pm you some videoexamples), hat (hey they're quite in now; will also send you some links) etc.
                I think you should be able to get away with that since you're going back in October and it's going to be somewhat cold (fall season). If worst comes to worst then go for a ponytail or tie your hair in a bun and otherwise keep your neck and everything else covered.
                Wassalam sis,

                Firstly, the advice from everyone above about being steadfast and sticking by your principles and treating it like a test is absolutely valid, and try and do that.

                But, as Reflection09 has pointed out, bear a few things in mind.

                Until you are independent make sure you don't put yourself in senseless danger. Try and avoid provoking your parents until you're comfortable they and others can't make your life hell. And even when they can't try everything in your power to make sure they are happy.

                Islam, unlike many other religions, has tools built in to the legal framework that allow you to compromise to protect your life in the face of danger.

                In the presence of danger to your life or extreme hardship we have certain concessions (simple ones would be if you're extremely ill you can put off certain obligatory actions, or even skip them entirely). In the case of extreme danger to your life Islam will even remove serious prohibitions like alcohol and pork and testifying your faith.

                Allah (swt) says:

                Any one who, after accepting faith in Allah, utters Unbelief,- except under compulsion, his heart remaining firm in Faith - but such as open their breast to Unbelief, on them is Wrath from Allah, and theirs will be a dreadful Penalty.

                Surah Al-Nahl (16:106)
                If you can do all that then if you judge the risk to your life (whilst you're so dependent on someone else) to be great enough then you can choose to change your clothing. Now it would be best if you followed Reflection09's advice of wearing something similar (like a hat) but actually in a more extreme case you can even take that off.

                Now, I've pointed out the flexibility Islam has. But you're the only one able to decide whether you feel threatened enough to take advantage of those tools, tools which are there to protect you. If you feel you can justify your actions to Allah (swt) then you need to make that decision. If you feel unsure go to a local mosque and ask your imam but even he cannot make that decision for you.

                Personally, if I was as vulnerable as it appears from your post I'd probably be inclined to take advantage of the flexibility...

                The bottom line always is as Allah (swt) says:

                It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces Towards east or West; but it is righteousness- to believe in Allah and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer, and practice regular charity; to fulfil the contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the Allah-fearing.

                Surah Al-Baqarah (2:177)
                Last edited by Joha; 05-09-10, 06:28 AM.
                ...sermons from this minbar come with tongue planted quite firmly in cheek.


                "Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need -
                a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends,
                worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you,
                a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear,
                and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing."

                -- Jerome K. Jerome
                (Three Men in a Boat)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

                  Originally posted by Gseleena View Post
                  Thank you for every suggestion :) may Allah reward you all! <3
                  I have many muslim friends who supports me here MashaAllah. The only sad part of all is my parents. I love them more than anybody. But i love Allah more than my parents. So there is a thing, i cannot wear hijab in my home country cuz of people who are racist and parents who wont understand my choice. I even tryed to hint on my conversion, but my mom got really ****ed.
                  I also wondering if it is really bad if i take my hijab off for this 2 month but i will dress really modest.
                  I personally don't see the harm to not wear hijab while at home and you could take the good advice MA gave about making it look like a scarf or wear bandanna. As the Prophet(PBUH) was suppose to have said, "Make it easy, Not hard. Proclaim the good news but don't terrify your audience". I believe maybe that that baby-steps are best in some situations and it is only for a few months. Wear covered clothes modesty and cover as much as you can without causing rifes

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

                    forgive my ignorance in this matter i never knew the situation in russia.

                    definetly keep a low profile. if you have to pray in public then do with your finger. this is called the fear prayer or somthing like this. in essecne it means that if your life is in danger or you fear that your in danger, then you can pray riding your mount(like horse or car) or if your stick then recite in your head and use your fingers or even just your eyes to symbolize the movemtns. its not the movments in salah that reached Allah, but rightous and piety dose. take the nessesary precoautions sister.
                    And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

                    O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

                    JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

                    sponsor an orphan

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

                      sis why don't you parents visit you in Canada instead I believe it would be much better for you you don't have to be stripped from your coverings just for the approval of the non-believers and keep your soul strong for god's help does not waver!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

                        They are not really friendly with Islam and i am not sure if they ever will. Russians are the type of people who are hard in accepting different point of views. They think they are always right so i have to deal with them slowely :)

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                        • #13
                          Re: Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

                          MashAllah guys you are really full of care that is why i love Islam. People are friendly and religion itself is very respectfull to everyone.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

                            do not make yourself vulnerable or put yourself in any danger. excellent advise above...do what you can but don't make yourself a target inshallah.

                            you are muslim for 2 years alhamdulillah...but still early days. only you know how your parents will react but take it slowly. your actions will be dawah at this stage.

                            sister may Allah protect you and keep you steadfast, ameen :love:

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Converted from Christianity (Orthodox) but having troubles with my family

                              And I thought Americans were prejudiced and Intolerant .

                              How is that Russia is home to nearly 20% Muslim population which is likely to reach 50 % Inshallah in a few decades as per Russian estimates ?
                              Where there are no Ulemah(Scholars) there are many Muftis.

                              I
                              deal System of Living for All Mankind .

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