Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....

    السلام عليكم

    Hi everyone,

    okay first of all, I'm not a typical teen and all that. I'm 21 this year.

    I recently unintentionally 'fell in love' with this guy who's like my best friend right now, but the problem is - he's definitely in love with my best friend - who's like a sis to me (and she, btw, is not in love with him but shes always giving him the wrong idea - probably on purpose).

    Ive never felt this way about someone. never have I dated and done anything of that kind (alhamdollillah). I am shy, especially with men.

    We are both opposites. I'm an Introvert, And hes an Extrovert. he sees me as this very eccentric person and my friend as perfect (he said that literally).

    Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. My heart aches so bad. Its enough I have so many issues with myself, people around me and my life. Every time I think about him being attracted to her and not me, I feel so worthless. Ive never had any man felt that way about me, where as she has. I care more about him more than she does, and he doesn't seem to care about me.

    I don't know what to say anymore. I never express my feelings and thoughts to anyone. This is the first time. I feel so depressed, so angry. I know this might sound a bit naive and crazy, but I often fantasize about us being married, and when I over analyze everything and realize that is just impossible on so many levels, I just feel like dropping dead.

    Its so hard for me to 'fall in love'. And I know this might sound...I don't know the word, but anyway, I think that I am a better match for him than my Friend. Lol. Okay that sounds ridiculous, so I'm not going to continue on that, but I still mean it for so many good reasons. I just think as a Muslim we would make a great married couple.

    Please help me...I know only god can, but still I need people right now...I have no one... I'm lonely and depressed...

    sometimes, I just try to focus my mind on other things, forget about him, hate him, or convince myself there will be someone else except the feelings will be mutual, and etc.
    sometimes, I just try to think of him as an immature, naive idiot who just likes my friend because shes flirtatious, more attractive and glamorous. And sometimes I wish they would marry each other just to suffer. LOL. because I feel like they both have a tendency to be superficial, materialistic, argumentative and aggressive. and he loves her, but she doesn't so the marriage will go boom. and etc. astaghfirallah.
    I know I shouldn't be thinking that way, and its weird, but I'm human. and angry. and sad.

    Ok done...

    and Btw, sometimes he gives me the wrong idea as well by some things he does and says...thats how I started to have feelings for him.

    #2
    Re: I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....

    Assalamu Alaykum

    Your friend and youi can marry him if not then ask your mum to take you to potentials and see which one you like.

    Comment


      #3
      Re: I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....

      :salams

      Im Sorry Buh This Why You Shouldnt Have Male Friends :insha: You Learn From This, All I Can If There Is Nothing There For You Meaning Marriage Then Your Only Gonna Get Hurt Even More And It Will Last Longer Meaning You Wont Be Able To Get Over It Quicker. Pray To Allah And Focus On Islam And :insha: The Pain Will Ease
      And He found you lost and guided you,
      ~ Qur'an (Ad Duhaa) 93:7 ~

      Salaah Reminders

      Guide us to the straight pain.
      " Ihdina-s-sirata-l-mustaqim "
      ~ Quran 1:6 ~

      الله أعلم

      Comment


        #4
        Re: I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....

        what exactly do you 'love' about him?

        "because I feel like they both have a tendency to be superficial, materialistic, argumentative and aggressive"

        yeh err he sounds awesome
        Jo kaam karta hai tu chup ke jahaan se
        koi dekhta hai tujhe aasmaan se

        Comment


          #5
          Re: I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....

          You do understand what your doing is haram?

          Fear Allah, and both you and your friend need to stop hanging around with him.
          Last edited by abdulwakil; 06-06-10, 03:53 PM.
          Worship Allah alone

          "....Verily, Allaah guides not those people who are the Zalimun."
          [EMQ 5:51]

          Comment


            #6
            Re: I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....

            Salam alaykum,
            Is your friend a Muslim? If so, why would she put herself in the position to give someone "the wrong idea" also you described her as flirtatious and glamorous...She doesnt sound like a very good Muslim and neither does the guy you like. And sorry if you think I'm being rude, but good Muslim women dont have men for close friends unless he's already her husband. I know you think you love him (maybe you do) but most likely it's the shaytan whispering in your ear. My advice to you is ask for Allah's guidance and forgiveness and move on, Inshallah you will find someone who will love you and make you happy.

            Comment


              #7
              Re: I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....

              Why would you want to marry someone who you know talks to other girls or indeed in love with them? Look how he's making you feel now? Like you want to die?

              Sis forget about him, he's not worth it, let him go and marry your best mate and see how he turns out.

              Put your trust in Allah SWT and see what he gives you in return.

              I pray you find a man, who will value you for who are you are and inshallah make you grow in your deen.
              Ameen.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....

                Waalaikumasalaam Warahmatullah.

                Sis, I dont have any better advice than to tell you to stay away from this guy and focus on your deen. What you said, that its things this guy has said to you which have made you fall for him, thats shaytans work. Manipulating the situation maybe.

                Also how can it be love if he dont love you back? Love isnt one sided and so convince yourself that this isnt what you think it is, shaytaan has just hyped this all up making you feel miserable at the end of it.

                Muslimsouljahs right, if you feel your at that point where you want to get married then inshaAllah take the halaal route, only then you will be successfull.

                InshaAllah don't make this hard for yourself, free yourself from this guy because like you said he likes your other friend... you can never convince/try to make a guy like you so your better off without him.

                May Allah help you to come closer to his deen and ease your sadness xx
                "Do they not see the birds above them, spreading out their wings and folding them in? None upholds them except the Most Gracious. Verily, He is the All-Seer of everything" ..Surah Mulk..

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....



                  First of all man and women can not be friend in islam, and loving someone who u know not loving u back and loving ur friend thats too confusing. Just guick Q dos ur friend know that u like this guy? and second is he worth of all drama with may happen between u and ur friend?
                  [B][COLOR="red"]When u attack Black people, they call it racism. When u attack Jewish people, they call it ANTI-SEMETISM. When u attack women, they call it SEXISM. When u attack homosexuality, they call it INTORELANCE When u attack ur Country, they call it TREASON When u attack a religious, they call it HATE But when u attack the Prophet (P.B.U.H) they call it FREEDOM OF SPEECH #SHAME![/COLOR][/B]

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....

                    how do people fall into so much weirdness.....

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....

                      Originally posted by res novae View Post
                      how do people fall into so much weirdness.....
                      they desire that which they cannot have.
                      glass half empty

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....

                        Walaikum assalaam wa rahmatullah,

                        Sorry if this comes across as blunt, but I'm only saying this to spare you any future heartache:

                        This sort of thing is exactly why Islam doesn't allow the free-mixing of the genders. Even western (i.e. non-Muslim) research backs up the claim that it is near impossible for men and women to have platonic "best friend" type friendships/relationships.

                        If I were you I would ask Allah's forgiveness and ask for Him to take any thoughts/feelings you have for this guy out of your mind/heart and then I would refrain from having any more casual friendships with non-mahram brothers.

                        If you feel you are ready to get married, then like others have suggested speak to your parents about getting this to happen.

                        May Allah make it easy for you and give you the tawfeeq to learn from this mistake, aameen.
                        ربنا واجعلنا مسلمين لك ومن ذريتنا أمة مسلمة لك وأرنا مناسكنا وتب علينا إنك أنت التواب الرحيم

                        Our Lord, make us Muslims submitted to You, and our descendants a Muslim community submitted to You. Show us our rites of worship and turn towards us. You are the Ever-Returning, the Most Merciful. [2: 128]

                        http://livingthemuslimlife.wordpress.com/

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....

                          your situation [ if it infact is true] reminds me of a poem by heinrich heine, a young man loves a maiden..
                          sigpic

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....

                            Narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri and Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that." Bukhari

                            Be patient with Allah in your time of sorrow.
                            We pray that you find someone so much better than him, ameen.
                            Remember, You could want something SO bad but Allah knows its not good for you, Allah is capable of all, he can find you someone suitable.
                            Your only 21, you got so much ahead of you.
                            وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                            And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                            أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                            Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


                            Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

                            Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: I'm in love with him, but he loves with someone else. I feel like I'm dieing....

                              Ditch them both like a bad habit, and get some better friends who will enjoin you to good and Islam.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X