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    Islamic Wedding Party?

    Question:
    I am a new muslim and my parents are chirstian, they agree to take part in an Islamic wedding but what are the steps we need to go about it? They are having it at their house and agreed to the food and beverage requirements for the party following the ceremony. We are trying to have it so that everyone is comfortable. But I have no idea what to do before, during or after and want to make sure everything is in place so that later I don't have to find out that it is void becaue of a step not taken. I thought we were already married but I found out that we did not do it right. I need to know.


    Answer:
    Praise be to Allah.



    With regard to having a wedding party in the Islamic manner, you have to keep away from the things which are forbidden in sharee'ah but which many people do not pay attention to during celebrations, such as the following:


    With regard to the woman: going to a male, non-mahram hairdresser to have her hair done; or adorning herself in ways that are haraam, such as thinning the eyebrows by plucking them, or wearing tattoos, or wearing hair extensions, or other kinds of haraam things, becaue the Prophet -sallallahu 'alayhi wasalam- cursed the one who plucks eyebrows and the one who has that done, the one who adds hair extensions and the one who asks to have that done; imitating the kuffaar in their dress, because usually the wedding dress shows many of the woman's charms and her body, in such a way that the dress is very revealing -we seek refuge with Allah- and also a great deal of money is wasted on the dress.


    Among the haraam actions that have to do with the man are: shaving his beard for the wedding night, which is done on the grounds that this makes him look more handsome, but this is something which is haraam according to the sharee'ah; letting one's clothes hang below the ankle (isbaal).


    There follows a list of haraam things which both men and women should avoid in the wedding party:


    1. Mixing of men and women, and things that are involved in that, such as greeting and shaking hands with one another, and men and women dancing together, because all of that is haraam and is a very serious matter.


    2. Taking pictures, whether men do that amongst themselves or women do that amongst themselves.


    3. Drinking alcohol or eating pork.


    4. Letting the husband come in to where the women are in order to take his wife.


    5. Women wearing revealing, tight or short clothes amongst themselves, because this is haraam - so how about wearing such things in front of men?


    6. People should avoid spending extravagantly or going to extremes in showing off in wedding parties, because that may wipe out the blessing.


    7. The husband and wife exchanging rings and thus imitating the kuffaar, thinking that this will increase the husband's love for his wife and vice versa.


    Finally, both partners should know that the more the teachings of Islam are followed in the wedding party, the more blessed the marriage will be, the more love and harmony there will be between them, and the less problems.
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    #2
    Aslaam u Alaikum sister,
    As you mentioned about the handshake between people of opposite sexes, well I always get offered hands for a handshake from my muslim cousins, but what do I do I can't say "no" because I don't want to embarrass them but I also know it's forbidden.
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      #3
      Muslim youth, very interesting to learn that handsakes are actually forbidden. I sensed something like this once in Lebanon, but I didn't really know. Thanks again.

      But did you know why people shake hands? Well, in the Middle Ages men usually carried a sword in their right hand. Shaking a hand with the right hand reveals that the man has no sword in that hand and therefore he cannot be an enemy.
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        #4
        I am confused here.It is a sin to pluck your eyebrows??!!!!!!why exactly?

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          #5
          coz during the Prophets time the prostitutes used 2 pluck their eyebrows.
          i had heard that it was ok 2 tidy them up..but if ur shaping them then thts not permissble.

          correct me if i'm wrong :)
          ws
          You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

          ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

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            #6
            vefade

            Assalamu alaikum

            Ebony it is true what you have written, I had not heard that exact reason but it is interesting to know. I could not find an exact Hadith which validated your statement but I think this one is applicable.

            Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 72, Number 832:

            Narrated 'Abdullah :

            Allah has cursed those women who practise tattooing and those who get it done for themselves, and those who remove hair from their faces, and those who artificially create spaces between their teeth to look beautiful, such women as alter the features created by Allah. Why should I not then curse those whom Allah's Apostle has cursed and that is in Allah's Book?
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              #7
              Ok OK I have more questions here.I personally don't change the shape of my eyebrows but I use those little wz strips to get rid of some of the stay hairs.Would that be considered bad.And also I got braces put on my teeth a few years ago becasue I had teeth that were stuck and weren't coming in.Would that be considered bad as well?

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                #8
                vefade

                Assalamu alaikum

                Anne Marie, the fundamental question you have to ask yourself is:

                What you do in relation to changing your physical appearance, what is the real intention behind it? If you are you trying to beautify yourself, then it is wrong. If it is not e.g. if it is due to some health or hygiene reason then that is fine.

                Removing some of your eyebrows I think you'll find comes under beautifying oneself therefore it is wrong.

                As for the braces you had them so that your teeth come out properly, that is not related to beautifying yourself so that is fine.

                What you should remember is that Allah created you and you should therefore be pleased with his creation not try to change it. I do understand due to the corrupt society we live in there are pressures on us all to change our appearance to look in a certain way. We must withstand this pressure and live according to the will of Allah and our goal should be to please him rather than his creation.

                Inshallah this answers your question
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                  #9
                  thanks for the answers Bash!

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                    #10
                    Aslaam u Alaikum brother,

                    But what if you try to beautify yourself just cos you feel good, not to show-off or something or because you want to change the way Allah(swt) created you.

                    Waslaam.
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                      #11
                      what about shaving arm pits and legs?!!I am sorry but I will never stop shaving my arm pits!I don't think people would be happy if I started to smell!!!And I could never have hairy legs.

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by AnnaMarie
                        what about shaving arm pits and legs?!!I am sorry but I will never stop shaving my arm pits!I don't think people would be happy if I started to smell!!!And I could never have hairy legs.
                        We shouldn't make things too difficult. The hadeeth mentions the hair on the face only, so based on this hadeeth removing any other hair would be okay.
                        Anyway, I believe there is another hadeeth which says you should remove the hair under the arm (arm pits)... and so on...
                        Can anyone quote this hadeeth?
                        -Charity
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                          #13
                          vefade

                          Assalamu alaikum

                          Muslim youth, but you should be happy with the way you look anyway. However I have read Hadiths that say you should beautify yourself for your husband.

                          Anne Marie, shaving of the armpits is one of the acts of cleanliness, which is an obligation on every Muslim (it should be done at least once every forty days).

                          As for shaving your legs there is no evidence that prohibits it or sanctions it. However I am not able to tell you whether it is allowed because:

                          Having read upon haram and halal I have found that there seems to be a contradiction or a misunderstanding on my part.

                          I have read that:

                          1) Everything is halal for you except that which there is clear prohibition. Therefore you have halal and haram.

                          2) There is a grey area between halal and haram, which is classed, as doubtful and it is best to stay away from it, as it may be haram.

                          So basically shaving of the legs could fall in to either category. Sorry!

                          Peace Charity,

                          Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 72, Number 779:

                          Narrated Abu Huraira : I heard the Prophet saying. "Five practices are characteristics of the Fitra: circumcision, shaving the pubic hair, cutting the moustaches short, clipping the nails, and depilating the hair of the armpits."

                          Sahih Muslim, Book 002, Number 0497:

                          Anas reported: A time limit has been prescribed for us for clipping the moustache, cutting the nails, plucking hair under the armpits, shaving the pubes, that it should not be neglected far more than forty nights.
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                            #14
                            Re: vefade

                            Jazakum Allah Khair.

                            Originally posted by Bash ah Rat
                            Assalamu alaikum

                            Peace Charity,

                            Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 72, Number 779:

                            Narrated Abu Huraira : I heard the Prophet saying. "Five practices are characteristics of the Fitra: circumcision, shaving the pubic hair, cutting the moustaches short, clipping the nails, and depilating the hair of the armpits."

                            Sahih Muslim, Book 002, Number 0497:

                            Anas reported: A time limit has been prescribed for us for clipping the moustache, cutting the nails, plucking hair under the armpits, shaving the pubes, that it should not be neglected far more than forty nights.
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                              #15
                              but isnt it permissble 2 remove facial hair if it causes u 2 resemble a man? like..upper lip..or..a beard forming perhaps..? i thought it was.


                              Bash..not evry1 is happy with their looks..and mayb they shud try2 b happy with themselves first..b4 trying2 look beautiful for their husbands.. for the sisters who arent married, tht is.
                              i;m not saying..flaunt urselves to evry and any passing member of the opp. sex..just tht mayb u want 2 look 'beautiful' 4 urself 1st..after all if u r happy with the WAY u look..then tht affects ur mental state 2. which is the reasn, perhaps, y some sisters wear make-up...though they dnt need it..it gives their self-confidence a little 'boost'

                              meaning...plastic surgery just 2 change the way u look..coz u dnt like it, when theyre no underlying medical reason 4 it...shud b avoided.

                              feel free 2 correct me if i'm wrong (i aint perfect..yes its true ;) ) :)

                              w/salaam
                              You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

                              ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

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