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Appropriate Birthday Gift?

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  • #16
    Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

    Ok, I started a new thread for the whole "men and women as friends" topic. It can be found here: http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...ends&p=3734482

    So back on topic, let's assume my friend was another female....would this make a nice birthday gift, or should I go with something else?
    My Blog: Trying To Find Faith
    My Trip Site: Destination Anywhere
    My Wedding Site: With This Ring

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    • #17
      Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

      Originally posted by CanuckGirl View Post
      Ok, I started a new thread for the whole "men and women as friends" topic. It can be found here: http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...ends&p=3734482

      So back on topic, let's assume my friend was another female....would this make a nice birthday gift, or should I go with something else?
      We do not celebrate birthdays in Islam, it is haram (forbidden).

      The reason is because Allah (Al-Lah, how you say "God" in Arabic, literally meaning "The God") has created EVERY DAY and EVERY DAY is special, there is no one day more or less special than others. If we love someone and want to give them a gift, it doesn't have to be their birthday to do so.

      However, that Qur'an is a good gift only if the extremely expensive cost is really worth the work and effort that was required to make it and if the money is going to a good company for a good cause and not to some rich man who just wants to buy another Yacht to drink alcohol and fornicate with.
      http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/157...rtsinsults.jpg
      O ye who believe! Let not some among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former) Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, after he has believed: And those who do not desist are doing wrong. (QURAN, Sura Hujurat, 49:11)

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      • #18
        Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

        Originally posted by CanuckGirl View Post
        Ok, I started a new thread for the whole "men and women as friends" topic. It can be found here: http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...ends&p=3734482

        So back on topic, let's assume my friend was another female....would this make a nice birthday gift, or should I go with something else?
        extravagance is not good especially in religious matters, you will notice our imams dont wear elaborate clothing and our mosques are plain (most of the time), so buying an elaborate Qur'an like that I would say is unnecessary as you can buy a humble one with £12 and give the rest to charity, that will be better for you

        Yes you can buy someone gifts in anyday, and you can buy someone a Qur'an is not inappropriate, I would suggest you get a more plain one, ok it doesnt have to be the most simple, but get one better than the common ones but dont go as high as $80, thats too much

        I personally though, would cut off contact with him and not buy him anything, you will regret this someday most likely and think how would your husband feel
        " O you who have believed, do not follow the footsteps of Satan. And whoever follows the footsteps of Satan - indeed, he enjoins immorality and wrongdoing. And if not for the favor of Allah upon you and His mercy, not one of you would have been pure, ever, but Allah purifies whom He wills, and Allah is Hearing and Knowing. "
        Surah An-Nur, Verse 21

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        • #19
          Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

          Hello CanuckGirl,

          In simple answer to your question, which I think you have asked a couple of times now, a Qur'an is perfectly appropriate as a gift between friends. And, for those who say he probably already has a Qur'an because he's a Muslim.. do you know any Muslims who own only one Qur'an and do not wish for any more? There's nothing wrong with having more than one copy of Qur'an! And alhamdulillah that the first Muslim woman I met when I was investigating Islam had an extra copy to give to me, so I got a chance to read the words of Allah.

          I do agree however, that he as a Muslim should not be having a close relationship with any woman, and the relationship between you should be strictly as coworkers. I do not think it is inappropriate for coworkers to give gifts to each other, but you said he says he wants to be a better Muslim, and for him to keep a friendship with a woman (married or not), would be a distraction from that, so be prepared for him to cut back on your friendship. And if you do want to support him in becoming a better Muslim, it might help him to know that you will not be offended if he does so.

          I won't say any more about the friendship thing, since you started a different thread for that. By now you understand that Muslims should not celebrate birthdays, so the question of an appropriate birthday gift is a moot point. As I said, a Qur'an is an appropriate gift for any occasion, and if you decide you will give him a gift, it is up to you whether to give it as a birthday gift or not. Personally, I would not give a birthday gift, and certainly not any gift to a man, but I can't advise a non-Muslim who is not under the same obligations. Just be aware that he, as a Muslim, is under different obligations than you.

          Hope that helps :)

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          • #20
            Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

            My husband is constantly giving our Qurans and tasbihs away....

            Recipes for all the family :inlove:
            (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

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            • #21
              Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

              Thanks for all the replies. I will take them all into consideration :)
              My Blog: Trying To Find Faith
              My Trip Site: Destination Anywhere
              My Wedding Site: With This Ring

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