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  • Appropriate Birthday Gift?

    Hello,
    This is my first post to these forums. Glad to be here and hope I learn a lot!

    My question is whether the Qur'an is an appropriate birthday gift to give to someone?

    Some background: I've been with my current employer for about 2 years and have become good friends with one of my coworkers. He is a single, 26 year old practicing Muslim. I'm a 30 year old, married agnostic (raised Catholic, but now unsure). His birthday is in a few weeks and while looking for a gift for him I found this: http://www.islamicity.com/bazar/acti...=feature&-find

    I know his faith is very important to him, but am wondering if this is an appropriate gift from a friend, especially if that friend is a non-believer?

    Look forward to hearing your thoughts!
    Thanks!
    My Blog: Trying To Find Faith
    My Trip Site: Destination Anywhere
    My Wedding Site: With This Ring

  • #2
    Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

    Hello and welcome to the forum

    Well, in Islam we do not celebrate birthdays so that may not be a good idea, to put him in a position like that if he's a practicing Muslim.
    But that's a lovely idea to give a quran as a gift and that one does look beautiful.
    Perhaps give it to him on a different day if you are so inclined, so that it has nothing to do with celebrating his birthday?
    May we reach daruSalaam by His, and only His Decree
    I would die for the cause if I knew only to what degree
    *
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    • #3
      Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

      I agree with zammy. One of the most annoying things was people trying to give me birthday gifts or wishing me happy birthday. However, I do know many Arabs who celebrate birthdays even though they are not Islamic, and these are even practicing Muslims, so it's hard to tell. I would suggest you simply ask him that you know his birthday is coming up, and whether or not he would be offended to receive a birthday gift. If he says he would rather not have a birthday gift, then you can just give it to him at some other time, and I would say give it to him unwrapped so that it does not even resemble a birthday gift.

      Oh! As for the Qur'an, yes I do think it would make a very nice gift, no matter what the occasion :)

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      • #4
        Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

        as your a girl and hes a male i would just give it a miss tbh - could b awkward
        .: Rufaida :.
        .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
        http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
        “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
        but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
        ~ Ibn Atallah

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        • #5
          Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

          Thanks for your answers!

          He's never come out and said he doesn't celebrate. He is Arab, and he did get me something for my birthday (an awesome chess set), so I don't think that would be a huge deal.

          He told me two things a few weeks ago. 1) He wants to be a better Muslim and 2) he's upset that he's losing his Arabic since coming to Canada. So I thought this would be a nice gift that covers both basis. But is it a friend to friend gift, or is something this nice more of a parent to child or husband to wife type of gift?

          Originally posted by .: Anna :. View Post
          as your a girl and hes a male i would just give it a miss tbh - could b awkward
          Do you think it's awkward because it's the Qur'an, or would any gift be awkward (keeping in mind we have exchanged gifts before...just nothing this nice).

          Thanks again for your help!
          My Blog: Trying To Find Faith
          My Trip Site: Destination Anywhere
          My Wedding Site: With This Ring

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

            the Quran isnt wrong as a gift as far as i know,

            Recipes for all the family :inlove:
            (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

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            • #7
              Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

              the Quran is the best gift you can give to anyone........i would also give pie....

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              • #8
                Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

                just dont take it out of the box, because your supposed to be in a state of purity before you touch the arabic quran.

                you should also consider buying this one for yourself http://www.islamicity.com/bazar/acti...=feature&-find also because less then half of the book is Quranic verses (due to the ENglish transaltion and transliteration) you dont neccessarily need to be in a state of purity to handle it.
                You said you are undecided, so why not give it a go?

                Recipes for all the family :inlove:
                (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

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                • #9
                  Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

                  He's probably already got a Quran and shouldn't be celebrating his birthday. So i'd just allow it, I don't know why he got you a chess set but if he wants to be a better muslim you can encourage that by not helping him commit sins.
                  "And We will remove whatever is in their breasts of resentment, [so they will be] brothers, on thrones facing each other."
                  Al Hijr: 47

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                  • #10
                    Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

                    Originally posted by CanuckGirl View Post
                    Hello,
                    This is my first post to these forums. Glad to be here and hope I learn a lot!

                    My question is whether the Qur'an is an appropriate birthday gift to give to someone?

                    Some background: I've been with my current employer for about 2 years and have become good friends with one of my coworkers. He is a single, 26 year old practicing Muslim. I'm a 30 year old, married agnostic (raised Catholic, but now unsure). His birthday is in a few weeks and while looking for a gift for him I found this: http://www.islamicity.com/bazar/acti...=feature&-find

                    I know his faith is very important to him, but am wondering if this is an appropriate gift from a friend, especially if that friend is a non-believer?

                    Look forward to hearing your thoughts!
                    Thanks!
                    it would be more appropriate for you to read Qur'an for yourself and educate yourself with Islam and usually the muslim cutlure

                    it is not acceptable for men and women to make friends in Islam. Genearally speaking in human terms, it is not good for you that you are married to make "good friends" with someone because I can assure you will most of the time lead to temptation and destruction

                    opposite sex relationship should be kept to a surface level, or else it will lead to things you will regret, this is not being extreme, but is something that hapens all the time, so it is for your own good I am telling you this

                    so...buying a Qur'an for a muslim is rather unnecessary because most muslims have a Qur'an at home, so is more appropriate you read one for yourself

                    Muslims dont celebrate birthdays, and if he does because he is not practicing, again I dont see what are you trying to do wtih buying him a Quran? Are you trying to show you are sensitive to his culture? Please consider your intentions with God in mind since you believe in Him and be as sincere as you can

                    p.s. dont give him any gifts, that is encouraging the relationship between you two which is immoral in the first place, and he thinks so too regardless that he is doing it, this is why i say educate yourself with the culture
                    Last edited by IDK; 23-02-10, 04:55 PM. Reason: adding something
                    " O you who have believed, do not follow the footsteps of Satan. And whoever follows the footsteps of Satan - indeed, he enjoins immorality and wrongdoing. And if not for the favor of Allah upon you and His mercy, not one of you would have been pure, ever, but Allah purifies whom He wills, and Allah is Hearing and Knowing. "
                    Surah An-Nur, Verse 21

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                    • #11
                      Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

                      Originally posted by CanuckGirl View Post
                      Thanks for your answers!

                      He's never come out and said he doesn't celebrate. He is Arab, and he did get me something for my birthday (an awesome chess set), so I don't think that would be a huge deal.

                      He told me two things a few weeks ago. 1) He wants to be a better Muslim and 2) he's upset that he's losing his Arabic since coming to Canada. So I thought this would be a nice gift that covers both basis. But is it a friend to friend gift, or is something this nice more of a parent to child or husband to wife type of gift?


                      Do you think it's awkward because it's the Qur'an, or would any gift be awkward (keeping in mind we have exchanged gifts before...just nothing this nice).

                      Thanks again for your help!
                      i meant for any gifts, cos normally we dont mingle between men and women
                      but as u said he got u something so maybe he doesnt think that way but i was thinking giving gifts 2 each other wd b too overly friendly between genders
                      .: Rufaida :.
                      .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
                      http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
                      “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
                      but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
                      ~ Ibn Atallah

                      Ramadan Activities for Children
                      <button id="tw_schedule_btn" class="tw-schedule-btn" style="padding: 4px 6px;position: absolute;left: 141px;top: 840px;background-color: #F7F7F7; background: linear-gradient(#FFF, #F0F0F0); border: 1px solid #CCC; color: #5F5F5F; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; text-shadow: 0 1px #FFF; white-space: nowrap;border-radius: 3px;font-size: 11px; display: none; z-index: 8675309">Schedule</button>

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                      • #12
                        Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

                        ooo wow that gift looks beautiful, i might buy that for myself as a gift for being awesome.
                        Last edited by Phoenix CG; 23-02-10, 10:24 PM.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

                          Originally posted by naila-k View Post
                          just dont take it out of the box, because your supposed to be in a state of purity before you touch the arabic quran.

                          you should also consider buying this one for yourself http://www.islamicity.com/bazar/acti...=feature&-find also because less then half of the book is Quranic verses (due to the ENglish transaltion and transliteration) you dont neccessarily need to be in a state of purity to handle it.
                          You said you are undecided, so why not give it a go?
                          Yes, I've read about the purity issue, so if it comes in a bag I'll just slide it out into the box without touching. Which will be hard for me because it looks so beautiful I'll want to flip through it :)

                          Thanks for the link! The Qur'an is next on my list (making my way through the Bible at the moment). I've read parts of the Qur'an in university (I have a religious studies degree) but would like to read the whole book :)

                          Originally posted by IDK View Post
                          it would be more appropriate for you to read Qur'an for yourself and educate yourself with Islam and usually the muslim cutlure

                          it is not acceptable for men and women to make friends in Islam. Genearally speaking in human terms, it is not good for you that you are married to make "good friends" with someone because I can assure you will most of the time lead to temptation and destruction

                          opposite sex relationship should be kept to a surface level, or else it will lead to things you will regret, this is not being extreme, but is something that hapens all the time, so it is for your own good I am telling you this

                          so...buying a Qur'an for a muslim is rather unnecessary because most muslims have a Qur'an at home, so is more appropriate you read one for yourself

                          Muslims dont celebrate birthdays, and if he does because he is not practicing, again I dont see what are you trying to do wtih buying him a Quran? Are you trying to show you are sensitive to his culture? Please consider your intentions with God in mind since you believe in Him and be as sincere as you can

                          p.s. dont give him any gifts, that is encouraging the relationship between you two which is immoral in the first place, and he thinks so too regardless that he is doing it, this is why i say educate yourself with the culture
                          Something I really don't understand is why men and women can't be friends. Can someone explain this to me? (maybe I should start a thread on this) He is an amazing guy...funny, good heart, intelligent.... I feel like I would be missing out if I DIDN'T encourage the friendship. As long as I come home to my husband each night does it really matter that I'm friends with a guy?

                          As to why I'd get him a Qur'an, it's not trying to show that I'm "sensitive to his culture" I just thought it looked beautiful and would be appreciated for many years. I wanted to get something that meant something to him, not a gift card or a movie he'll watch once and that's it. Something he'd like, and appreciate, and cherish and maybe pass on to his children one day. Something MEANINGFUL. :)

                          ooo wow that gift looks beautiful, i might buy that for myself as a gift for being awesome.
                          It is very beautiful, isn't it! I want one for myself, but I'm not Muslim and don't speak/read Arabic, and I respect the religion too much to buy something just because it looks pretty!

                          I think I'm more confused now than when I started this thread.
                          My Blog: Trying To Find Faith
                          My Trip Site: Destination Anywhere
                          My Wedding Site: With This Ring

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                          • #14
                            Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

                            The thing is when a man and a women enjoy each others company and spend time together,it is only natural that they will from an attraction and an emotional link, which leads to tempatation, so in Islam we avoid situations that could lead us to sin. I am sure you have probably experienced situations inwhich you didnt feel attracted to someone at first,then after a while you did?

                            In Islamwe say that if a man and woman are together alone the third person present is satan.

                            Recipes for all the family :inlove:
                            (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

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                            • #15
                              Re: Appropriate Birthday Gift?

                              Originally posted by CanuckGirl View Post
                              Something I really don't understand is why men and women can't be friends. Can someone explain this to me? (maybe I should start a thread on this) He is an amazing guy...funny, good heart, intelligent.... I feel like I would be missing out if I DIDN'T encourage the friendship. As long as I come home to my husband each night does it really matter that I'm friends with a guy?
                              Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.... I'm really amazed as I read your post, so please listen to me VERY carefully. I'm not going to say, "Stay away because Qur'an says so!" so don't worry, but just listen please.

                              I am a man so take it from my honest, sincere perspective. I am happily married and I love only my wife thank god and I do not look at other women thank god, I sometimes glance but I always immediately catch myself god willing and look away and I am constantly thinking of God and trying to keep my focus on the important matters in life. That being said, I think it is considerably reasonable to say that by the "modern standards" I'm a pretty decent man, but by my own standards I feel that I am in need of always improving by God's mercy.

                              I used to not be a Muslim and I told my wife how much I love her and I was not only in love but infatuated with her as well and I literally did not have any desire to look at any other women, it was easy for me! I told her how much I care and it was all true, and I told her I don't look at women and that was true too! But after a few months of this, I eventually was broken! Broken by the natural desire to procreate (male and female, it's natural and necessary for life) emphasised and magnified by the twisted perversions of our culture and society, it was virtually impossible for me to not eventually look! I looked and at first it was, "Oh it's just a glance" then it became "Oh it doesn't hurt if I look at a complete stranger on the street who doesn't see me" then it became "Oh it is okay if I look at a woman on the internet, afterall I don't even know who she is or anything!" Then it became...... you see the picture? We are not led into sin by going from white to black, we are led into sin by going from white to light grey to grey to dark grey to black! It is a gradual process, so CLEVER and so subtle that we do not even know it is happening until it is too late!

                              This is why we Muslims are warned against even allowing the "light grey" from happening, so as to prevent from ever having even the slightest chance of reaching the black! It is only logical!

                              So let me tell you, from an honest males perspective. Even though I have a beautifully romantic relationship with my wife, it wasn't until I embraced Islam whole-heartedly and practiced the rememberance of God (by reciting God's names in my heart for example while walking down the street) that I was able to defeat this evil, but it is a constant battle, I have to remind myself and it becomes easier by the will of God, and through my love of God, and thus my pure and godly love of my wife which is made stronger by my sincerity and devotion! But what went through my head when I was not a Muslim is disgusting, and I have never loved or had a relationship with anyone except my wife! So imagine the minds of men who actually have succumb to fornication! It is because this society is plagued with sex everywhere we look that it has been turned from a natural and romantic bond between husband and wife into a disgusting and vile perversion between any two objects (living or otherwise!)

                              Trust me, I don't care what you say about this man, because I too have been described as "funny, good heart, intelligent..." by more people than just my mother! But TRUST ME, what is going through this man's head is sexual fantasy! And eventually your harmless relationship will end up just like so many of the millions of broken marriages before you! You think you're the first person to find a friend of the opposite sex and to think it was harmless? You're wrong. And you also will not be the first person to cry when their husband divorces them because they found out you were not loyal and did not respect them as a human!

                              This man is not your brother! He is a stranger, and you are a female whom he can reproduce with! But in this modern society, even worst, you are just a female who he can get pleasure out of! He doesn't care if you have a husband! If he says he does, then he is just as ignorant as you, because eventually this "white" relationship is going to turn "grey" and then "black" reaaaal fast.

                              So if you are a believer in God, a "Catholic" as you say you are, then you need to go love your husband and respect him whether you're in your husbands presence or not! But better yet! You need to LOVE GOD!

                              PEACE

                              (EDIT)

                              Also, I'd just like to add, after looking at the gift.... LOL

                              "HAND MADE BOXES. AVAILABLE IN LIMITED QUANTITIES ONLY. The perfect wedding gift."

                              "Only $134.95, but on sale for $84.95" that price seems ungodly to me! Qur'an is a book of God, you can get it for free from the Mosque! But you should donate money in exchange (god willing) because that is returning kindness with kindness! But to charge for this and say its a wedding gift hahahaa..... astagfirullah

                              And if it is "just a harmless relationship" with a co-worker, as you say, why not buy him a cheap pen or give him an apple? Come on lol you clearly like him.... You need to turn away from this evil relationship, it is bad for you, bad for your husband, bad for your co-worker, bad for your entire company you work at, bad for your children (or future children), bad for everyone.... Just don't.... DON'T....

                              Wasalaam (peace)
                              Last edited by AlayhisSalaam; 24-02-10, 01:56 AM.
                              http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/157...rtsinsults.jpg
                              O ye who believe! Let not some among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former) Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, after he has believed: And those who do not desist are doing wrong. (QURAN, Sura Hujurat, 49:11)

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