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Dysfunctional Families

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  • Dysfunctional Families

    Does anyone come from a highly dysfunctional family?
    how was it dysfunctional?
    How did you deal with it?t
    May Allah Bless Us All.

  • #2
    Re: Dysfunctional Families

    define dysfunctional..for im sure there comes a moment in everyones life when they think they are born into a dysfunctional family.

    i think we all have different concepts of dysfunctional...is there a specific definition?
    *Alhamdulillah*

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Dysfunctional Families

      Originally posted by Masumah View Post
      define dysfunctional..for im sure there comes a moment in everyones life when they think they are born into a dysfunctional family.

      i think we all have different concepts of dysfunctional...is there a specific definition?
      IDK how to define it per se, but if you grow up in a dysfunctional household you'll know.

      I guess the best definition i could give is a general and consistent family atmosphere that's not healthy emotionally or mentally for it's members.
      May Allah Bless Us All.

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      • #4
        Re: Dysfunctional Families

        Very disfunctional family! Don't know where to start! Maybe I will post about it later!

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        • #5
          Re: Dysfunctional Families

          my family has gone through very difficult times, but we functioned just fine in every case Alhamdulillaah.


          may Allaah keep it so







          ps: MASUMAH PLZ CHANGE THAT DISPLAY PIC
          You hope for salvation and you have not trodden its paths,
          But the ship does not progress on dry land.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Dysfunctional Families

            Things are known by their opposites.

            No need for definition. A person knows if they are born in one. Like when you don't know one of your parents or when all the siblings are put into foster homes. How do you deal with it? Consider it as water under the bridge or however the saying goes, i.e. forget about it. It hurts, but so does so many things in life. As for how to make it "functional"? That all depends on the problem. My personal suggestion would to start being more independent and then worry about the dysfunctionally of everything. I'm not saying to cut ties with your family. I'm saying that usually in a disfunctional family, everybody is in their own little world to busy to pay attention to everybody else. So you gotta figure a way to get more independent in a halal way without forgetting about the wolf pack you came from :).

            Don't forget the hadeeth though, a person is on the deen of the one they take as a khalil (a close friend such that you share your secrets with them). This is obviously my deen that I'm sharing with you.

            May Allah help us all

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            • #7
              Re: Dysfunctional Families

              Originally posted by IbnAbdulHakim View Post
              my family has gone through very difficult times, but we functioned just fine in every case Alhamdulillaah.


              may Allaah keep it so







              ps: MASUMAH PLZ CHANGE THAT DISPLAY PIC

              why??? its soo me

              hmm OP...i cant relate alhamdulillah i come from a very grounded family mashaLLAH
              *Alhamdulillah*

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Dysfunctional Families

                my family was kind of messed up when i was younger, i just retreated into my shell. it was physical and emotional, psychological abuse. it stopped when i started to hit back the physical side only and when i started getting bigger than the person who was causing me grief. i always wondered if all families where like mine and what constituted abuse in their homes. if the same happened to them and to what extent it would carry on for.
                Last edited by mujhadia; 29-01-10, 02:07 AM.
                glass half empty

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Dysfunctional Families

                  me! Let's revive this thread and talk about dysfunctional families.
                  Abu Malik at-Ash'ari reported:

                  The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Cleanliness is half of faith

                  and al-Hamdu Lillah (all praise and gratitude is for Allah alone) fills the scale, and Subhan Allah (Glory be to Allah)

                  and al-Hamdu Lillah fill up what is between the heavens and the earth, and prayer is a light,

                  and charity is proof (of one's faith)

                  and endurance is a brightness and the Holy Qur'an is a proof on your behalf or against you.

                  All men go out early in the morning and sell themselves, thereby setting themselves free or destroying themselves.



                  حَدَّثَنَا إِسْحَاقُ بْنُ مَنْصُورٍ، حَدَّثَنَا حَبَّانُ بْنُ هِلاَلٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبَانٌ، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، أَنَّ زَيْدًا، حَدَّثَهُ أَنَّ أَبَا سَلاَّمٍ حَدَّثَهُ عَنْ أَبِي مَالِكٍ الأَشْعَرِيِّ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ الطُّهُورُ شَطْرُ الإِيمَانِ وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ تَمْلأُ الْمِيزَانَ ‏.‏ وَسُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ تَمْلآنِ - أَوْ تَمْلأُ - مَا بَيْنَ السَّمَوَاتِ وَالأَرْضِ وَالصَّلاَةُ نُورٌ وَالصَّدَقَةُ بُرْهَانٌ وَالصَّبْرُ ضِيَاءٌ وَالْقُرْآنُ حُجَّةٌ لَكَ أَوْ عَلَيْكَ كُلُّ النَّاسِ يَغْدُو فَبَائِعٌ نَفْسَهُ فَمُعْتِقُهَا أَوْ مُوبِقُهَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏

                  Reference : Sahih Muslim 223
                  In-book reference : Book 2, Hadith 1
                  USC-MSA web (English) reference : Book 2, Hadith 432
                  (deprecated numbering scheme)

                  أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                  Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


                  Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Dysfunctional Families

                    Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
                    me! Let's revive this thread and talk about dysfunctional families.
                    Does it help to talk about it? I'm curious since it doesn't seem to help me, belonging to a highly dysfunctional immediate family. Sometimes I think people coming from such families will either make wonderful parents themselves, or downright awful ones. It's worrying.
                    Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
                    O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
                    We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Dysfunctional Families

                      Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
                      me! Let's revive this thread and talk about dysfunctional families.
                      I thought Cartman came back and was excited to see him on ummah again. Sadly, the cake was a lie...just like this bump.
                      وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُواْ لِي وَلْيُؤْمِنُواْ بِي لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ
                      "And when My servants ask you (O Muhammad concerning Me, then answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor). So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright."
                      Surah al-Baqarah ayah 186
                      [2:186]

                      .:.
                      .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
                      Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

                      Comment

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