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My family is breaking up please advice

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  • My family is breaking up please advice

    I had an older brother who died 17 years ago with his wife and he left behind two boys aged 16 & 17 now. My nephews were raised by my older brother who up to now has focused the majority of their education on religion. they have now returned from Yemen after having stayed there for 4 years. there both hafiz and speak fluent Arabic and learned loads of books by heart but they have no GCSE's and there just starting there secular education this September.

    My parents are furious because they believe that my brother is raising them to be wahabis. they also believe that he is the reason that they didn't go to posh grammer schools. So they want to make my nephews stay with them because they believe my Brother will corrupt them.

    I don't know how to solve this because my parents are furious and they want to take this court if they have to.

    what should i do ?

  • #2
    Re: My family is breaking up please advice

    perhaps u can just try to reason with them to soften their hearts to the situation, like remind them what a good achievement that the boys have done hifdh, their parents will get reward for it, just try 2 point out all the good in them?
    maybe if they spend more time with them now they are back, they would see the boys have turned out well & may relax about it?
    iA they wont take it to court, seems silly esp with the ages of the children being 16-17, by 18 they would be classed as adults so i cant see courts doing much like enforcing their custody 2 be changed?
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    • #3
      Re: My family is breaking up please advice

      Originally posted by .: Anna :. View Post
      perhaps u can just try to reason with them to soften their hearts to the situation, like remind them what a good achievement that the boys have done hifdh, their parents will get reward for it, just try 2 point out all the good in them?
      maybe if they spend more time with them now they are back, they would see the boys have turned out well & may relax about it?
      iA they wont take it to court, seems silly esp with the ages of the children being 16-17, by 18 they would be classed as adults so i cant see courts doing much like enforcing their custody 2 be changed?
      I can't understand why parents are not proud :( the have been back for almost 1 weeks and they are already leading taraweeh the are both mosque teachers and they will start college inshalah but my parents won't have it. all they see is is beards and short jubbas. and they exploded when my nephews refused to shake hands with my cousins.

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      • #4
        Re: My family is breaking up please advice

        Once the wahabi thing comes up all arguments end and your wrong ,
        all you can do is make dua

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        • #5
          Re: My family is breaking up please advice

          Mash'Allah... May Allah bless these brothers... what an upbringing Mash'Allah... surely something to be proud of... Mash'Allah.

          Don't worry brother be patient. the boys are grown up... no matter what u're parents do and say now... the Deen is rooted into the boys so make dua for the healing of the hearts of ur parents. May Allah reward your brother for bringing up the boys in the right direction.

          plus u won't be able to do much about the wahabi argument... that's ganna stay there forever lol
          Last edited by Rooh; 30-08-09, 03:25 PM. Reason: typing errors
          Which of the favours of your lord will you deny?

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          • #6
            Re: My family is breaking up please advice

            Are they really wahabis though?

            At least they grew up in the mosque rather than in the streets around alcahol and drugs and all the rest of it.

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            • #7
              Re: My family is breaking up please advice

              :ahb: those boys are an example your parents should be proud

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              • #8
                Re: My family is breaking up please advice

                Originally posted by mundo View Post
                Are they really wahabis though?

                At least they grew up in the mosque rather than in the streets around alcahol and drugs and all the rest of it.
                Yea they are but they know lots about Islam and when i am around i feel like what they are upon is really Islam.

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                • #9
                  Re: My family is breaking up please advice

                  aww.. if they were like 18 at least they would be considered adults ...

                  hmmm.. as long as those boys are strong in thier deen, i dont think their parents can take them out of that influence?

                  talking kindly will soften everyone. .. .i hope.
                  Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

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                  • #10
                    Re: My family is breaking up please advice

                    Originally posted by GuCcI View Post
                    aww.. if they were like 18 at least they would be considered adults ...

                    hmmm.. as long as those boys are strong in thier deen, i dont think their parents can take them out of that influence?

                    talking kindly will soften everyone. .. .i hope.
                    The boys sometimes make things hard for themselves by saying certain things like or doing certain things like. not sitting in the same room as their female cousins or leaving the room when they hear music or refusing to cut their beard.

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                    • #11
                      Re: My family is breaking up please advice

                      MashaAllah at your nephews.

                      InshaAllah they progress in dunya knowledge also and hopefully change your parents perceptions towards them.

                      Why did your parents not take them in and care for them when the kids parents passed away in first place?

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                      • #12
                        Re: My family is breaking up please advice

                        Originally posted by hamdasaleem View Post
                        The boys sometimes make things hard for themselves by saying certain things like or doing certain things like. not sitting in the same room as their female cousins or leaving the room when they hear music or refusing to cut their beard.
                        May Allah make it easy for them, ameen.

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                        • #13
                          Re: My family is breaking up please advice

                          Originally posted by Emelianenko View Post
                          MashaAllah at your nephews.

                          InshaAllah they progress in dunya knowledge also and hopefully change your parents perceptions towards them.

                          Why did your parents not take them in and care for them when the kids parents passed away in first place?
                          Because my brother who was at the time working in Yemen was written in the will to be given custody. Again something that my parents find revolting. My other brother the father of the boys was very religious and chose my him to be legal guardian.

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                          • #14
                            Re: My family is breaking up please advice

                            Originally posted by Indefinable View Post
                            May Allah make it easy for them, ameen.
                            Ameen

                            it really sad when parents only see certificates and status in this dunya but don't value the akhira

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                            • #15
                              Re: My family is breaking up please advice

                              Originally posted by hamdasaleem View Post
                              Because my brother who was at the time working in Yemen was written in the will to be given custody. Again something that my parents find revolting. My other brother the father of the boys was very religious and chose my him to be legal guardian.
                              :sub: your brother gave them the best upbringing possible. And your nephews are correct in not sitting with their female cousins/shaking hands with them/listening to music - your parents need to accept the real Islam.

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