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Changing lifestyles vs Shaytan

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  • Changing lifestyles vs Shaytan

    This has nothing to do with anything, just something i wanted to share.

    Like alot of muslims today, i've been struggling almost my whole life to get on the straight and narrow path. Like alot of muslims today, i spent alot of my life barely within the guidelines of even being a muslim. So much so that i would wonder "exactly what is it that you do, that makes you muslim?"; I won't go into detail of what I used to do and the sort.

    And then a few years ago, i told myself i would go straight; as i managed to cut through shaytans whispers and realized that i was in no way prepared for death. So I re-educated myself on the diin, quit weed (the devil's herb as i learned the less known name for it), and dived into the quran.

    Needless to say the shaytan was not too happy about it, and he showed me the real meaning behind "jihaad-ul-nafs".

    The first day of my newly aquired lifestyle, was a honeymoon period i suppose, since it went by relatively smooth. But as soon as i read my adkaar to go to bed, I felt an overwhelming fear grip my heart. So much so that i could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. So i bolted up out of bed, not really realizing what caused it but still in fear.
    I don't believe i've ever felt such fear, and dread as i did right then while looking around my dark bedroom. It seemed as if every shadow was creeping up on me through the darkness. So i said a-uudu-billahi-mina-shaytaani-rajiim, and laid backdown and tried to go to bed.
    I eventually fell asleep, where i was confronted by some beast (i never got a good look at it, i just knew it was big and fast, and chasing me), that chased me through the city and right into my bedroom where i wokeup. Again i took refuge from the shaytaan and spat 3 times to my left, and went back to bed.

    The next day, i was faced with a whole new set of problems. When i would start praying, i would feel very hot as soon as i put my right hand over my left hand, as if i was kindling flame between the two hands (not as hot as fire....but extremely warm). A heat the would start at my hands, move to my chest where my hands were placed, and radiate throughout my entire body. The heat wouldn't stop until i was done praying.
    I knew from the get-go that this had something to do with shaytaan, due to when the symptoms would arise.
    So that night, samething, incredible fear when i laid down to go to bed, and now when i would say my adkaar and seek refuge from shaytaan, i would feel even more intense fear. I would hear whispers (not the actual voice, but more like thoughts in my head that i knew didnt belong to me) that shaytaan would become angry and take revenge. With some effort i'd manage to finish my adkaar and turn on my right side to sleep.

    But when i turned on my right side to try and sleep, i got extremely uncomfortable and would become wide awake (hot and uncomfortabe... like the hot side of a pillow), but when i turned on my left side i would immediately become sleepy and that side would be nice and cool and comforting. I ended up falling asleep on my left side that night and was again haunted by nightmares of things chasing me (i later learned thats one of the signs of jinn possession), and i bolted upright in the middle of the night with a "WHO's THERE?!!", i still dont know if the reason i jumped up was because of something i heard, or if it was from the dream. Cold-sweats, i would have every night, id wakeup with my blanket drenched in sweat (yes, was summer but i was cold), but i would be extremely cold like i took a dip in ice water.

    I prayed and prayed that it would stop, so that sleeping every night wouldn't be an ordeal and i could just rest.
    Finally, help came in the form of my mother :). She was visiting from Saudia Arabia (teaches english over there), and she is a very knowledgeable person when it comes to religion. So, I talked about my previous lifestyle, and althought my mother was very dissappointed she knew the important part was that allah showed me mercy by showing me the error of my ways and made me comeback to the diin. She told me that those were symptoms of shaytaan possession, even though i had complete control over my limbs and everything. And that in essence, shaytan was waging war against me due to my lifestyle, as she put it "You let shaytan have his way for so long, its only natural that he fights you now that you're putting up a fight".

    She asked me if i read my adkaars at fajr, asr, and when going to sleep; i replied the affirmative, but out of despair i said "But its not working" (astaghfirullah). Thats when my mom told me the most important part of tawakal. When you do your adkaar, or when you do dua, you HAVE to absolutely HAVE TO, believe/know that it allah will come to your rescue. You can't have ANY doubts, she said.

    As soon as my mom said that, alhamdullilah i saw the error in my thinking; instead of seeking refuge through allah, and believing in him, i would do my adkaar and try to "see" if it was working.

    So that when i did my adkaar i put complete faith in allah , and actually to the shaytaan, i actually said outloud (lol, ya i know its kinda wierd...but i was exasperated due to lack of sleep, and angry at him too) "do your best" to the shaytaan. I've never slept so good and secure in my entire life, alhamdullilah.

    One of the most important things i've ever learned; "set-it-and-forget-it" rule of tawakal in allah. When you make dua or appeal to allah, you do it, and then forget about it as your problem is already solved.

    I posted this, because i wish somebody wouldve told me this, the entire week or two that i was going through that. Now if i feel even a little bit of fear or apprehension coming from something i'm doing (i don't mean something like running at a moving car...thats natural fear, i mean unexplainable kinds), i KNOW its the right thing since shaytaans battling me for it...

    If nothing else, i try to use shaytaan as my guide, i know i'm doing the right thing if he doesnt like it (e.g... getting lazy when youre about to do something, or fear, or many other types of whispers the shaytan throws at you). Alhamdullilah

    May allah forgive me if i've made any embellishments on the story, as it was awhile ago.

  • #2
    Re: Changing lifestyles vs Shaytan

    Good reminder. Jazakallah. I also would like to share something I've learned.

    Willpower is like your red muscles while habits are like white muscles. Willpower is used for short burst of strength, while habits take little effort. So my suggestion is to use our willpower to build up healthy habits, like putting in some time to exercise, some supplications at specific time of the day, a certain time for studying and so on.

    Once you've done an action consecutively for a number of times, patterns form in your brain and subsequently, resistance to performing that action becomes less with every repetition.

    This also works for unhealthy habits. So if you do something bad like committing sin, it is imperative that you stop it immediately before it becomes a habit, after which, it will be much harder to stop.
    ~ Verily, with every difficulty comes relief ~


    • #3
      Re: Changing lifestyles vs Shaytan

      MashaAllah, thats true, the prophet alyhis salam, spoke about the power of doing small deeds often. The example of this is like drops of water slowly falling on a rock and eventually corroding it over time compared to a whole lot of water thrown at the same stone at once, which would have no lasting effect.
      <<< Step Away From The Computer And Get Some Fresh Air >>>
      "The most perfect believer is the one with the most beautiful manners" ~ Prophet Muhammad :saw:


      • #4
        Re: Changing lifestyles vs Shaytan

        Originally posted by Subtle Silence View Post
        MashaAllah, thats true, the prophet alyhis salam, spoke about the power of doing small deeds often. The example of this is like drops of water slowly falling on a rock and eventually corroding it over time compared to a whole lot of water thrown at the same stone at once, which would have no lasting effect.
        How well I am regretting my bad habits now and how gladly I am grateful for my good ones.

        If I could give up my current wealth for the good habits of the prophet (so that's all his habits, he only has good ones), I'd do it instantly.
        ~ Verily, with every difficulty comes relief ~