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  • No to Polygamy?

    :salams
    Dear Brothers and Sisters (especially you)

    A lot of times at school I am confronted by someone who wants to know about Islam, and today someone asked me about polygamy through a females perspective.I now know why Muslims men can marry more than one woman, but can a woman (specifically the first wife) say no to her husband marrying another woman? If not, why not? What can she do to go through that situation?

    Shukran
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  • #2
    Re: No to Polygamy?

    Unless she specifies it in the Nikkah contract(with some sort of clause), there is nothing she can do if the husband chooses to get married again (and he doesn't need her permission).
    If he however breaches the terms of the Nikkah contract, than she can take it to the Islamic courts and opt for khul'. But remember divorce is still the most disliked of permissible things.

    What can she do? Make the best of the situation InshAllah. You never know, it might be better for the both of you in the long run. Allahu 'Alaam.
    "The discovery of truth is prevented more effectively, not by the false appearance of things present and which mislead into error, not directly by weakness of the reasoning powers, but by preconceived notions, opinion, and by prejudice." - Arthur Schopenhauer

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: No to Polygamy?

      If she doesn't mention it in her nikah, is it sinful for her to divorce him when he takes another wife?
      Give me a clear vision, that I may know where to stand and what to stand for - because unless I stand for something, I will fall for anything.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: No to Polygamy?

        Originally posted by Kubs View Post
        If she doesn't mention it in her nikah, is it sinful for her to divorce him when he takes another wife?
        but many women wont state it in the nikah causee they dont expect especially these days for thier hubbys to have a second wife.
        cause its really rare, but rules r rules.
        i think the only time the wife is allowed to divorce is when she thinks shes not being fairly treated but then again i may be wrong.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: No to Polygamy?

          Originally posted by Kubs View Post
          If she doesn't mention it in her nikah, is it sinful for her to divorce him when he takes another wife?
          She cant divorce him just like that unless there is a valid reason, and him taking another wife is NOT a valid reason since this is a right that Allah SWT has given him.
          Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvM7L5Wm7q0

          ‎"If she's not on the deen, she's not fit to be your queen. If he hasn't got imaan, he's not fit to be your man."



          Comment


          • #6
            Re: No to Polygamy?

            Originally posted by Kubs View Post
            If she doesn't mention it in her nikah, is it sinful for her to divorce him when he takes another wife?

            She asked him to divorce her if he takes a second wife
            My wife and i have discused me having a second wife and she sayes that if i do then she would devorse me.we did not get married by the kafirs but we do have a islamic contract. and there was no agreement on that contract forbiding me from taking a second wife.so my question is .Is it permisable for her to deny me this?And is'nt she making the hallal harram on me. my wife is a good muslimah (I.S.A.) and she would respect a answer whith proof. jazallahkum ma lakair

            Praise be to Allaah.

            If a man is able to marry a second wife, physically and financially, and he can treat both wives in a just manner, and he wants to take a second wife, then he is allowed to do so according to Islam. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

            “… then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:3]

            And this was the practice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and of his Companions (may Allaah be pleased with them), but apart from the Prophet, no one is permitted to have more than four wives.

            It is well known that women are by nature jealous and reluctant to share their husband with other women. Women are not to be condemned for this jealousy, for it existed in the best of righteous women, the Sahaabiyyaat, and even in the Mothers of the Believers [the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)]. But women should not let jealousy make them object to that which Allaah has prescribed, and they should not try to prevent it; a wife should allow her husband to marry another woman for this is a kind of cooperating in righteousness and piety. According to a hadeeth whose authenticity is agreed upon, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever pays attention to his brother’s needs, Allaah will pay attention to his needs.”

            The first wife’s consent is not a prerequisite for a man to take another wife. The Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was asked about this and replied as follows:

            “It is not obligatory for the husband, if he wants to take a second wife, to have the consent of his first wife, but it is good manners and kindness to deal with her in such a manner that will reduce the hurt which women naturally feel in such situations. This is done by being kind to her and speaking to her in a gentle and pleasant manner, and by spending whatever money may be necessary in order to gain her acceptance of the situation.”

            Concerning her request for divorce if her husband wants to marry another wife, this is a mistake. But they should examine the situation, and if she really cannot cope with living with another wife, then she can ask him for khula’ [ a kind of divorce instigated by the wife, whereby she forgoes the mahr]. If she can cope with living with the second wife, but it hurts her to do so, then she should be patient and seek the pleasure of Allaah. Thawbaan (may Allaah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

            “No woman asks her husband for a divorce for no reason, but the fragrance of Paradise is forbidden for her.”
            (Narrated by Abu Dawood and others, and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani, may Allaah have mercy on him).

            If she bears it with patience, then Allaah will make it easier for her and will expand her chest (i.e., grant her peace and calm), and will compensate her with something good. The husband must also help her by treating her kindly, being patient with her for any jealousy etc. on her part, and overlooking her mistakes. And Allaah is the source of help.
            "The discovery of truth is prevented more effectively, not by the false appearance of things present and which mislead into error, not directly by weakness of the reasoning powers, but by preconceived notions, opinion, and by prejudice." - Arthur Schopenhauer

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: No to Polygamy?

              Originally posted by Ibn Khattab View Post
              She cant divorce him just like that unless there is a valid reason, and him taking another wife is NOT a valid reason since this is a right that Allah SWT has given him.
              From what I understood from the above fatwaa...if she can't cope with it, khul' is fine. But if she doesn't even try, and instantly goes for the divorce option then the that is a major sin.
              "The discovery of truth is prevented more effectively, not by the false appearance of things present and which mislead into error, not directly by weakness of the reasoning powers, but by preconceived notions, opinion, and by prejudice." - Arthur Schopenhauer

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: No to Polygamy?

                Originally posted by hamza05 View Post
                but many women wont state it in the nikah causee they dont expect especially these days for thier hubbys to have a second wife.
                cause its really rare, but rules r rules.
                i think the only time the wife is allowed to divorce is when she thinks shes not being fairly treated but then again i may be wrong.
                Some sisters are embarassed to mention it in their nikah....because it's such a fragile issue and plus in this society you wouldn't expect to come across polygamous marriages. Also the issue of trust comes into it.

                So she just has to put up with it? Some sisters Mashallah can handle another woman in the house....for others....well...they don't like to share....they get jealous.....which eventually will cause problems. :scratch:
                Give me a clear vision, that I may know where to stand and what to stand for - because unless I stand for something, I will fall for anything.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: No to Polygamy?

                  Originally posted by mizfissy815 View Post
                  From what I understood from the above fatwaa...if she can't cope with it, khul' is fine. But if she doesn't even try, and instantly goes for the divorce option then the that is a major sin.
                  The fatwa is for a specific situation, one peice of advice, Never take your deen from fatwas, since they are for a specific person, place, time etc. You have to look at the general rulings and hukum.
                  Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvM7L5Wm7q0

                  ‎"If she's not on the deen, she's not fit to be your queen. If he hasn't got imaan, he's not fit to be your man."



                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: No to Polygamy?

                    Originally posted by Ibn Khattab View Post
                    The fatwa is for a specific situation, one peice of advice, Never take your deen from fatwas, since they are for a specific person, place, time etc. You have to look at the general rulings and hukum.
                    This fatwaa basically answers Kubs question and is basically what this topic is a bout. A woman asking her husband to divorce her because he married another woman....

                    Generally, you're right. But that's not exactly applicable here...
                    "The discovery of truth is prevented more effectively, not by the false appearance of things present and which mislead into error, not directly by weakness of the reasoning powers, but by preconceived notions, opinion, and by prejudice." - Arthur Schopenhauer

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: No to Polygamy?

                      BTW did you guys know, that polygamy is the ASL, meaning the normal situation or the normal thing to do, and marrying one is like a secondary thing?

                      This is because of the ayah in the Quran “… then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:3]
                      Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvM7L5Wm7q0

                      ‎"If she's not on the deen, she's not fit to be your queen. If he hasn't got imaan, he's not fit to be your man."



                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: No to Polygamy?

                        Originally posted by mizfissy815 View Post
                        This fatwaa basically answers Kubs question and is basically what this topic is a bout. A woman asking her husband to divorce her because he married another woman....

                        Generally, you're right. But that's not exactly applicable here...

                        Could you kindly post where you got it from, like which sheikh answered it etc, for my own curiosity, jazakallah khair.
                        Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvM7L5Wm7q0

                        ‎"If she's not on the deen, she's not fit to be your queen. If he hasn't got imaan, he's not fit to be your man."



                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: No to Polygamy?

                          Originally posted by Ibn Khattab View Post
                          Could you kindly post where you got it from, like which sheikh answered it etc, for my own curiosity, jazakallah khair.
                          Oh my bad...

                          T'is answered by Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah al-Haydari and is from Islam-qa.com

                          http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/452
                          "The discovery of truth is prevented more effectively, not by the false appearance of things present and which mislead into error, not directly by weakness of the reasoning powers, but by preconceived notions, opinion, and by prejudice." - Arthur Schopenhauer

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: No to Polygamy?

                            It is illegal to practice Polygamy in this country and I read somewhere that a Muslim living in the UK has to abide by such laws and not to violate them as long as he resides in that country. But obviously if there was a hijab ban.....this doesn't mean every sister should take off their hijabs to suit the laws since this is going AGAINST islam - the point I'm trying to make is that polygamy is not 'compulsory' so if you don't practice it.....you don't get a sin.

                            And plus you mentioned that it's 'normal' for a man to get married twice. Have a look at these hadiths:

                            "If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice."- Qur’an (4:3)

                            “It is very difficult to be just and fair between women.” Qur'an (4:129)

                            It has been narrated that Prophet Muhammad said: “Whosoever had two wives and treats one of them more favourably than the other will come on the Day of Judgment bent to one side.”


                            This shows that polygamy is highly discouraged should the man not be able to practice equality amongst his wives. And as for marrying 'one' being a secondary thing..............well the word ‘’Zawj’’ has been used many times in the Quran, which implies ‘couple’. So basically there should be one husband and wife - a couple - and not one husband and several wives. Adam, the first Prophet had only one wife Hawwa. This is the normal thing to do.

                            Oh and I'd like to add.....I'm not against the concept of Polygamy....because NO muslim can be against it otherwise you'd be going against what Allah Subhanatallah has ordained.
                            Last edited by Kubs; 24-11-08, 11:27 PM.
                            Give me a clear vision, that I may know where to stand and what to stand for - because unless I stand for something, I will fall for anything.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: No to Polygamy?

                              Originally posted by Ibn Khattab View Post
                              BTW did you guys know, that polygamy is the ASL, meaning the normal situation or the normal thing to do, and marrying one is like a secondary thing?

                              This is because of the ayah in the Quran “… then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:3]
                              Who said that?

                              Comment

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