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  • Boredom

    Question #3619: His wife is asking him for a TV to relieve her boredom

    Question:


    As Salaamu Alaikum,
    I made an oath by Allah that I would not allow a TV in my home and I do not have any desire for one. However, I am married and my wife is at home while I am at work with nothing to do. We dont have children. I am not wealthy, so I dont have furniture or decorations in the house yet. My wife desperately wants a TV to remove her boredom. She is young and is not yet willing to devote all her time to studying Islam or Quran. This issue is getting worse because she is becoming stressed from having nothing to fill her idle time. I am afraid that this may provide Shaytan a way to break up my family. Is there any advice that you can give to help my situation?
    Jazakallahu Khayr

    Answer:

    Praise be to Allaah.

    Subhaan-Allaah, how have Muslim women reached a state where they do not know how to kill time, so they waste it and destroy the blessing of time which Allaah has made available to them to fill it with worship, dhikr and good deeds, as He explains (interpretation of the meaning): “And it is he Who has put the night nd the day in succession, for such who desires to remember or desires to show his gratitude.” [al-Furqaan 25:62]

    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Make the most of five things before five others come: your life before your death, your health before your sickness, your spare time before your work, your youth before your old age and your wealth before your poverty.” (Reported by al-Haakim; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1077).

    It is regrettable that a Muslim cannot find anything to do other than committing the sin of watching TV programs that are filled with scenes of kufr, nakedness, and singing. The one who looks at this tragedy will indeed see how accurate are the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in the saheeh hadeeth: “There are two blessings of which many people have an unfair share: good health and spare time.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 5933).

    You must exhort this woman, in a gentle manner, and remind her, kindly, why she was created in this life. There follow a few useful suggestions which include both serious pursuits and permissible forms of leisure activities.

    1. Doing acts of worship such as reciting dhikr and wird, salaah, reading Qur’aan, fasting, and thinking about the signs of Allaah in His creation.

    2. Adopting an Islamic cause in the place where she is living, and taking part in it, such as teaching Muslim girls, supporting an Islamic magazine by sending articles, statistics and useful information of interest concerning Muslims in the West, taking part in charitable projects to help Muslim orphans, widows, divorcees and elderly, or joining a committee to help organize social programs and celebrations for Muslim girls on Eid.

    3. Finding righteous (female) companions to meet with and good (females) neighbours to visit.

    4. Reading Islamic books in particular and useful stories in general.

    5. Taking part in da’wah activities, women’s activities and preschool programs in Islamic centres.

    6. Listening to tapes and lectures, writing summaries of them, and distributing the summaries to anyone who could benefit from them.

    7. Doing arts and crafts, and cooking items to be sold to raise funds for the Islamic centre.

    8. Taking an interest in computers and computer programs. This is a vast field that can fill a lot of time, and the computer can be used to do a lot of good things as well as providing entertainment in the form of permissible games.

    9. Spinning, weaving, cutting out and sewing.

    10. Gardening.

    11. Exercising at home.

    In all cases, you must resist pressures that may make you give in and introduce that window of evil to your home. We ask Allaah to grant your wife a righteous child in the near future, so that she may fill her time with taking care of him. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

    Islam Q&A
    Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

    http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=en...&QR=3619&dgn=3
    URGENT!!! your help is badly needed - fundraising for marriage

  • #2
    Jazakalahu Khairan bro, good suggestion to releive bordom for anyone, not just women ;) . Thnx:D
    Please Re-update your Signature

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    • #3
      *nods head up & down* I totally agree rose. Masha Allah, those are good suggestions on how one not only can, but should spend his/her time.
      Please Re-update your Signature

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      • #4
        A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A MUSLIM WOMAN

        Normal, every day activities become acts of worship if they are done for the sake of pleasing Allah. And among these deeds, the regular, consistent deeds are best. Aisha (Radhiallaahu Anha) said that Allah's Messenger, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, said, "The deeds most loved by Allah are those done regularly, even if they are small." (Bukhari and Muslim). This means that we do not need to do anything spectacular in our day to obtain rewards from Allah, but we should establish some type of routine that incorporates not only salah, but reading Qur'an, duaa, thikr, and other good deeds. This will increase the serenity, patience, and enthusiasm of the believer.

        EARLY MORNING

        This article is aimed at bringing the spiritual side in the everyday life of married Muslim woman:

        Wake at night to perform Tahajjud.

        The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, said, "The best (most rewarding) salah after the obligatory salah is tahajjud, night salah." (Ahmad and Muslim). It is best to do this toward the last one third of the night as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, said, "When the last one third of the night remains, our Lord, the Glorious One, descends towards the earth and proclaims, "Who is there who supplicates me, so that I may grant his supplication? Who is there who begs of Me, so that I may grant it to him? And who is there who seeks My forgiveness, so that I may forgive him?" (Bukhari and Muslim). It is even better if the husband and wife perform the tahajjud together. The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "When a man wakes his wife up at night and they perform two rak'at together, they are written down among the men and women who remember Allah." (Abu Dawud). After this salah one can return to bed until the fajr.

        Upon awakening in the morning: say this duaa, "Al-Hamdulillah, praise be to Allah who brought me to life after giving me death, and to Him is the resurrection." (Bukhari). One should also greet the other members of the household who are awake. The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "O my son (to Anas), when you enter to where your family is, say salam. It is a blessing on you and on the people of your house." (Tirmithi).

        When getting dressed, say this duaa, "Al-Hamdulillah, praise be to Allah, who clothed me with this, and who provided me with it, without any power or might of mine." (Abu Dawud).

        Make wudhu or ghusl (except for menstruating or postnatal women)

        Duaa when entering the bathroom, "In the name of Allah. O Allah, I seek refuge in you from the evil and evil things." (Abu Dawud).

        Be sure to use the left hand in the bathroom: "Aisha (Radhiallaahu Anhu)said that the right hand was used by Allah's Messenger for his ablution and for taking food, and his left hand was used in the toilet and the like." (Abu Dawud).

        Say "Bismillah" and make the miswak or toothbrush,: It is also encouraged to use the miswak or toothbrush although it is not an obligatory aspect of wudhu. The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "If I had not found it difficult for my followers, I would have ordered them to clean their teeth with miswak for every salah." (Bukhari and Muslim).

        Duaa after finishing wudou, "I testify that there is no god but Allah, alone, having no partner; and I testify that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger. O Allah, make me of those who continually repent and purify themselves." (Tirmithi).

        Duaa when leaving the bathroom, "(I ask for) Your forgiveness." (Abu Dawud).

        Perform Fajr salah: 2 rak'at of sunnah and the two obligatory rak'at (except for menstruating or post-natal women). It is important to remember that the salah should be completed soon after the time has begun. Abdullah said that he asked the Prophet which deed was loved most by Allah, the Exalted. He, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "Salah which is performed at its time." (Bukhari). Even if a woman is busy with another task, she should interrupt this and perform her salah. A woman should try to develop khushoo (sincere submission) in salah since this will be the first thing that she will be accountable for on Judgment Day. The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "When you stand up for your salah, make it as if it was your last salah; do not say a word for which you will have to make an excuse the coming day; and build no hope on what is in the hands of men." (Ahmad).

        It is often asked if women need to make the adhan and iqamah if they are leading the salah or praying by themselves. This is not required for women, although they may do it if they wish. In terms of the manner of performing salah, a woman's salah is no different from that of a man's.

        Read the Qur'an: Early morning is often a good time to read Qur'an, especially if the children are still sleeping and the house is quiet. This allows one to fully concentrate and obtain the most benefit. The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, said, ‘The recital of the Qur'an at dawn is always witnessed - the angels of the night and the angels of the day witness it." (Tirmithi). If one's spouse is available, this would be the ideal time to strengthen the marriage by reading Qur'an together and praising Allah for His blessings. A woman cannot recite the Qur'aan during menses. She may listen to tapes.

        Work on a project that will benefit the Muslim community in some way: Before the children awake and after reading Qur'an, it would be a good time to put energy into some project of interest to which one is committed. This may include such things as acquiring more Islamic knowledge by reading or listening to tapes, writing articles, preparing for halaqas, developing some type of program (such as a Children's halaqa, Muslim scouting program, etc.), keeping in touch with other sisters through e-mail, social service projects, etc. There are many opportunities for sisters to benefit themselves (through Allah's rewards) and the community.

        MID AND LATE MORNING

        Prepare a healthy breakfast for the family

        It is important to remember that the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, used to eat very healthy foods such as dates, cucumbers, bread, meats, milk. Much of the unhealthy food that we have now was obviously not available at the time of the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam. It is best to avoid processed foods and to use items that are the most natural. Allah knows what is best for his creation and He has provided us with all that we need. We should take care of our children's physical needs in the best manner possible. Cleanliness is also an important element of the Islamic faith and should be observed in all matters, especially in food preparation and eating.

        Duaa when beginning the meal: "O Allah! Bless whatever You provided for us and save us from the punishment of the hellfire. Bismillah." The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, told a boy who was attending a meal with him "... Mention the name of Allah, and eat with your right hand and eat of the food that is nearer to you." (Bukhari) Spend some time in conversation during the meal since this was encouraged by the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam.

        Duaa after finishing the meal: "Praise be to Allah, who gave us to eat and to drink and made us Muslims." (Abu Dawud, Tirmithi). It is important to remember not to overeat due to the unhealthiness of this behavior for physical and spiritual reasons. The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, said, "The son of Adam fills no vessel more displeasing to Allah than his stomach. A few morsels should be enough for him to preserve his strength. If he must fill it, then he should allow a third for his food, a third for his drink and leave a third empty for easy breathing." (Tirmithi). Overeating can lead to laziness and lethargy, and make acts of worship seem laborious, making it more likely that one will delay or avoid them.

        Spend quality time with the children: Older children may need to be sent off to school, while younger children will continue to require the attention of their mother. Raising children is the most important and most honorable role for a woman. It is essential to include quality time with the children in a busy daily schedule. This should be given priority over household chores and other activities, although it should not interfere with obligatory acts of worship. Quality time may include such things as reading books about Islam, teaching Arabic, reading Qur'an together, playing games, going to the park, and much more. The emphasis should be on the children's spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and physical development. Doing this early in the day also makes it more likely that children will be content to play with themselves later on, freeing time for other activities.

        Perform salat ad-Dhuha: Abu Hurairah said, "My friend (the Prophet) advised me to observe three things, not to abandon them till I die; to fast three days a month, to perform two rak'at of Duha (forenoon) salah, and to make witr before sleeping." (Bukhari and Muslim). This is one of the forgotten sunnah of the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, that needs to be revived. Two or more rak'a should be prayed some time after the sun rises until a few moments before noon. The preferred time is when the sun is extremely hot, which usually occurs around the hour before noon. A mother has a wonderful opportunity to renew this Sunnah by teaching her children from a very young age. Have a peaceful and blessed morning!

        Dr. Aeysha Hamdan

        http://www.alinaam.org.za/library/lmuslimwom.htm
        URGENT!!! your help is badly needed - fundraising for marriage

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        • #5
          it amazes me how some sisters can be so bored with nothing to do that they want a tv and some sisters are so busy with so much to do they dont have ANY time for tv.

          I say, bored sisters, go the busy sisters household and HELP!!!

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          • #6
            Tahiyah, nicely stated. :)

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