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  • KeeKee
    replied
    Re: Backchat

    redmist; that is so true; i'd rather have someone come up to me and say it to my face so i can correct them but no. your dads advice is pretty wise mashAllah.

    also on the hadith thing, i'v noticed that too and Jilbabi most probably just wanted to confirm the hadith, but some people do go overboard with the da'eef hadith thing. i posted something on da'eef hadith and a'amal from shama'il al kubra on my blog
    http://engagersindawah.blogspot.com/...aining-to.html

    Leave a comment:


  • Sulaiman Harun
    replied
    Re: Backchat

    :start:

    :wswrwb:

    Originally posted by truepath View Post
    Thats what I have learnt too. But the general trend and mentality of people these days is - as soon as they hear the word "Da'eef" they react as if its a fake hadith, false or fabricated hadith. However, like you have said, general consensus of scholars (except a certain) is, in case of ahadith regarding virtues / fadha'il even weak ahadith can be taken into consideration. Because weak does not mean its a false or fabricated hadith and its only used for the purpose of fadha'il i.e., to motivate one to practice upon an action.

    Ulama agree that, in case of masaa'il only authentic and strong ahadith should be taken into consideration.
    Da'eef ahadith with different isnaad but same matn or even same meaning of matn can be collected and then hadith becomes hasan li ghayrihi. But I am not sure if the hadith can be used for daleel or not and Allah سبحانه و تعالى knows best.

    Leave a comment:


  • Redmist
    replied
    Re: Backchat

    Originally posted by KeeKee View Post
    Assalamu Alaykum Warahmatullah

    So .... Backbiting. i know everyone does it but its most rife and widespread in Asians. I live in a town thats jam packed with Asians,and literally no-one can live without someone making mountains out of molehills and spreading Slander.

    If your fathers a God fearing scholar the more people like to backbite, speculate and slander his daughters and family. the number of times people have spread absolute bollocks about me

    The thing is, its not even just interest. These people who backbite and spy+slander, do so with relish, enjoyment and absolute malice that they do not even try to hide. Weekly Taleems are organized by the men so that backbiting is kept minimal, but on the streets, in the shops in the houses? boy alhamdulillah i was bought up to mind my own business and not to talk of others.

    The problem i see is, these women (its men too; but women seem to do it more) read about the sin of backbiting, slander etc, yet it makes no difference. they read, they preach and then they backbite. don't they know how much of a sin its to hurt someones feelings by slandering them? when i got divorced, naturally i had to say why i couldn't stay married to this man, i went through quite a bit in two months being married to someone who emotionally wrecked me, and after the divorce not being able to take the situation him and his family spread the silliest lies about me. many people know me and my family and brushed the lies aside, others took joy in seeing so and so's daughter divorced and talked.
    anyway, my whining aside, how do we get through to these people that to backbite, slander and to take joy in someones mis-fortune is WRONG? nothing seems to work and they don't seem to realize what a HUGE sin it is to commit these sins!
    It hurts to be a Victim of Backbiting. I've been a victim of Backbiting, it really hurts even more than say being physically beaten, when people spread lies about you and slander for no other reason than Malice and pure hatred on their part, it rips pieces out of you! But like my Dad says to me " You will never be able to control what people say and think about you, so Stop Trying!" It's hard but you just got to get your head down and keep going where your going. Keep doing what your doing, people will talk regardless!

    Leave a comment:


  • truepath
    replied
    Re: Backchat

    Originally posted by ImaanSeeker View Post

    It is the consensus of the classical scholars that da'eef hadith, while it can't be used to establish a law of Shariah, can be used for fadha'il or for admonition regarding a specific act.
    Thats what I have learnt too. But the general trend and mentality of people these days is - as soon as they hear the word "Da'eef" they react as if its a fake hadith, false or fabricated hadith. However, like you have said, general consensus of scholars (except a certain) is, in case of ahadith regarding virtues / fadha'il even weak ahadith can be taken into consideration. Because weak does not mean its a false or fabricated hadith and its only used for the purpose of fadha'il i.e., to motivate one to practice upon an action.

    Ulama agree that, in case of masaa'il only authentic and strong ahadith should be taken into consideration.

    Leave a comment:


  • ImaanSeeker
    replied
    Re: Backchat

    Originally posted by truepath View Post
    There is no harm in asking for source or reference for a hadith. I am not saying anything in this case, because sis Jilbabi might have not come across this hadith before even though this is quite well known and sound hadith.

    However, now a days its becoming like a trend or fashion, that whenever a hadith is quoted people jump and ask for source and reference. This happened other day when brother Abu Mubarak quoted a very well known hadith, in another thread and some user jumps and asks "reference"? Thats jus funny lol.
    I also have no problem with Sister Jilbabi asking for the reference to this hadith.

    But I wholeheartedly agree with you on this one bro.

    The problem is that there are certain people that do not understand the Science of Hadith. They do not understand that ahadith have different levels of authenticity and how the Muhadditheen of the past have a special criteria for these levels. These people do not know that just because a hadith is Da'eef does not meant that we completely disregard that hadith.

    It is the consensus of the classical scholars that da'eef hadith, while it can't be used to establish a law of Shariah, can be used for fadha'il or for admonition regarding a specific act.

    Leave a comment:


  • truepath
    replied
    Re: Backchat

    There is no harm in asking for source or reference for a hadith. I am not saying anything in this case, because sis Jilbabi might have not come across this hadith before even though this is quite well known and sound hadith.

    However, now a days its becoming like a trend or fashion, that whenever a hadith is quoted people jump and ask for source and reference. This happened other day when brother Abu Mubarak quoted a very well known hadith, in another thread and some user jumps and asks "reference"? Thats jus funny lol.

    Leave a comment:


  • KeeKee
    replied
    Re: Backchat

    Beware of Backbiting; for backbiting is more serious than adul tery. A man may commit ad ultery, and drink wine and then repent, and Allah will forgive him. But the backbiter will not be forgiven by Allah until (the person he backbited about) forgives him.
    ( Baihaqi.
    Suyuti, Jam'i Saghir, 1/174, from Ibn Abid-Dunya, Abush-shaykh, Al-Tawbikh)

    Leave a comment:


  • ImaanSeeker
    replied
    Re: Backchat

    Originally posted by Jilbabi View Post
    sorry sis, can you clarify the hadiths authenticity inshaAllah

    jazakhallah khayr!
    The hadith is recorded by Imam Bayhaqi in Shu'ab al-Iman.

    Leave a comment:


  • Jilbabi
    replied
    Re: Backchat

    Originally posted by KeeKee View Post
    thats exactly right.
    these days i can't even be bothered to correct the lies being spread, after all Allah is the all knowing and he's the only one who can do justice, so leave it up to him.

    Gheebatu Ashaddu Minaz Zina ( backbiting is worse than Adul tery)
    this hadith really sums up the enormity of this sin in a few simple words.
    sorry sis, can you clarify the hadiths authenticity inshaAllah

    jazakhallah khayr!

    Leave a comment:


  • KeeKee
    replied
    Re: Backchat

    Originally posted by ImaanSeeker View Post
    It's certainly tough to be a victim of backbiting(I know how it feels). But, InshaAllah you can take their good deeds and dump your sins on them on the Day of Judgement.

    Some people try to get back at backbiters, by backbiting them. Personally, I think it is important to have Sabr and always maintain one's own good character and not get involved in a tit for tat sort of dialogue.
    thats exactly right.
    these days i can't even be bothered to correct the lies being spread, after all Allah is the all knowing and he's the only one who can do justice, so leave it up to him.

    Gheebatu Ashaddu Minaz Zina ( backbiting is worse than Adul tery)
    this hadith really sums up the enormity of this sin in a few simple words.

    Leave a comment:


  • MAsif
    replied
    Re: Backchat

    its all depends on your intentions my brothers and sisters
    Remember Allah knows and sees all, including what u hide in your hearts.

    Leave a comment:


  • ImaanSeeker
    replied
    Re: Backchat

    It's certainly tough to be a victim of backbiting(I know how it feels). But, InshaAllah you can take their good deeds and dump your sins on them on the Day of Judgement.

    Some people try to get back at backbiters, by backbiting them. Personally, I think it is important to have Sabr and always maintain one's own good character and not get involved in a tit for tat sort of dialogue.

    Leave a comment:


  • KeeKee
    replied
    Re: Backchat

    it depends; if you are having a rough time with someone, and you ask someone else for advice on the matter, i.e talking about the people involved purely for advice and not with the intention of backbiting about them etc, then its okay.

    Leave a comment:


  • salam786
    replied
    Re: Backchat

    to me both is the same thing, although sometime when I go through a bad time and I mention it to my mate just for idea as to how to better the situation I fear that I may have backchatted by telling my friend the problem, which begs to ask the question that is this classified as backchatting when you tell someone a situation but involves other people in there?

    Leave a comment:


  • KeeKee
    replied
    Re: Backchat

    west yorkshire; Dewsbury area. i'v heard Bradford is just as bad though.

    we need to raise awareness that would make people sit up and get it into their heads; right now these people read about the sin of backbiting, hear it yet,...no difference.

    Leave a comment:

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