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Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

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  • Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

    Asselamu aleikum brothers and sisters..

    I came from a marriage just now and I gotta tell the truth there were really good looking girls. Suddenly, I saw her. She was such wonderful, I thought

    "Oh Said, look at her ... She looks like your dreamgirl :D Oh, but sabir Said you know she looks great but you aint knowing her character. Maybe she gives a damn about religion and is just interested on partys, boys and so on. But who knows? Maybe she is the direct opposite and perhaps she is a really smart girl. But but.. I can not approach her, I will never know it, so forget it Said. Oh allah please give me sabir and a great wife in future :D."

    And the worst thing is, she looked in my eyes and she was interested. :(

    Oh brothers, what have got to do in such situations? Is it allowed for a muslim to approach a girl? It isnt, right?

    But how do I will meet the woman who I want to marry maybe?

    Oh please sisters please do not misunderstand me, but I suppose that is a really big problem for male muslims.

  • #2
    Re: Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

    speak to yer mom and dad. Im sure they've got some nieces hidden away somewhere :p
    Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.”

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

      :wswrwb:

      Lower your gaze.

      Where is that thread on unrestrained glances gone...

      Here: http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=153765
      [CENTER][CENTER][B][FONT=Verdana][/FONT][/B][FONT=Verdana][B]My Lord, my trust in all Your purposes is strong, That trust is now my shield; I'm safe, and undeceived.[COLOR=sienna]- Ali bin Husayn al-Habshi[/COLOR][/B]

      [/FONT][/CENTER]
      [/CENTER]
      [CENTER][CENTER][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Real forsaking is forgetting the thing forsaken.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=sienna][FONT=Verdana]- Shaykh al-Shadhili

      [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Live as long as you wish, you shall die. Love whatever you wish, you shall be separated from it. Do whatever you wish, you shall be rewarded for it. [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=sienna][FONT=Verdana]- Jibreel (as)
      [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/CENTER]
      [/CENTER]

      [CENTER] [B][I][SIZE=4] ياَ أَبَا اَلزَّهْرَاء وَلَّذِي صَانَكْ- لاَتُخَيِّبْنَا يَا سِيْدِي نَحْنُ ضِيْفَانَكْ[/SIZE]<o></o>[/I][/B]
      [B]O father of Zahra, for the sake of the One who protected you,
      Please do not leave us disappointed, O master, we are your guests. [COLOR=Sienna]- Shaykh Ahmad al-Alawi (rh)

      [/COLOR][/B][I][B][SIZE=4]أَنتَ رَبّي وَ عِلْمُكَ حَسْبِيْ. فَنِعْمَ الرَّبُّ رَبِّي وَ نِعْمَ الحَسْبُ حَسْبِيْ.[COLOR=Sienna]ـ حِزْبُ البَحْر[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/I]
      [/CENTER]

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      • #4
        AW: Re: Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

        Just do as sis water told you

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

          errr what happened to lowering ur gaze?? see this is the exact reason why weddings should be segregated!:(
          Bro you should really talk to your parents, so that they can contact her wali, and just tke it from there!
          Inshallah if its meant to be it will be, its all down to the qadr of Allah swt, so just leave it down to him!
          Smiling is Sadaqah! So SMILE :D

          A woman of real beauty smiles in trouble, gathers strength through distress and grows brave by prayer...

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: AW: Re: Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

            You came from a marriage where there were lots of pretty girls? You what? *scratches head*


            http:/www.alghurabaa.org
            Islaam began as something strange and will return as something strange, so glad tidings to the strangers..

            [dhikrullah.com]

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: AW: Re: Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

              he means a wedding?
              .: Rufaida :.
              .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
              http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
              “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
              but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
              ~ Ibn Atallah

              Ramadan Activities for Children
              <button id="tw_schedule_btn" class="tw-schedule-btn" style="padding: 4px 6px;position: absolute;left: 141px;top: 840px;background-color: #F7F7F7; background: linear-gradient(#FFF, #F0F0F0); border: 1px solid #CCC; color: #5F5F5F; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; text-shadow: 0 1px #FFF; white-space: nowrap;border-radius: 3px;font-size: 11px; display: none; z-index: 8675309">Schedule</button>

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              • #8
                Re: AW: Re: Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

                Originally posted by Abu Muslim View Post
                You came from a marriage where there were lots of pretty girls? You what? *scratches head*


                Sorry for my bad english. Actually I meant a wedding.

                So I dunno, actually Iam really young and I want to study medicine and it takes a long time. There would not be any time for a family. And the second point is, my parents would not understand my problem cause they are not such religious.

                @Chained Water

                Thank you for the link :)

                Comment


                • #9
                  AW: Re: AW: Re: Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

                  Originally posted by _Said_ View Post
                  Sorry for my bad english. Actually I meant a wedding.

                  So I dunno, actually Iam really young and I want to study medicine and it takes a long time. There would not be any time for a family. And the second point is, my parents would not understand my problem cause they are not such religious.

                  @Chained Water

                  Thank you for the link :)
                  Yeah I am in the same situation as you. There would be time for your family. It is all about balancing your time, inshaaAllah. If your parent aren't religious, no one is in a better position to change them than you after Allah (s.w.). There is a lot you can do brother, you only need to realise that you indeed can with Allah's will.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: AW: Re: Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

                    :salams bro,

                    It's tough, but not impossible bro. It takes some mujahida but InshaAllah this strife will bear its fruits in due time.

                    Here are some very wise words:

                    Taken From an Article :: Purpose of Life

                    By: Hazrat Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Sahab (db)


                    If a person treading the path of tasawwuf does only two acts, namely, safeguarding the gaze and protecting the heart, he will become a saint if Allâh Subhanahu wa Ta'âla wills. The remaining papers are easy. It is easy to leave all other sins. Two acts are very important. One is the protection of the border, the other the protection of the gaze. The enemy comes from two paths, either he will come from the border or he will attack the capital directly with an aircraft. When you have protected the borders of your eyes according to the command of Rasűlullâh Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and you protect the capital of your heart, then the road has been leveled for you to become a saint and friend of Allâh Subhanahu wa Ta'âla. The one who abstains from sin, evil gazes, and also protects his heart, will he speak lies? The one who has solved the difficult paper can very easily solve the simple paper. Is it difficult for the one who has endured a fever of one hundred degrees (Fahrenheit) to endure fifty degrees?

                    When the kings used to announce anything, the camel drivers would beat the camels with a stick. The sound of this drum would travel for a distance of two miles. Moulânâ Rűmi (Rahimahullâh) states that when a camel, which was laden with these drums, went past a village, the children clapped their hands and interfered with it.

                    Moulânâ Rűmi (Rahimahullâh) states that the camel said,

                    "O children, what effect will your tiny hands have by making such a minor sound.
                    The drum, which is sounded on my back, has a sound that travels for two miles.
                    When my ears can endure this din, then the sound of your clapping hands is not even equivalent to a mosquito for me."



                    The Effects of Keeping in Mind the Greatness of Allâh


                    When the greatness of Allâh Subhanahu wa Ta'âla enters the heart, and the fear of reckoning of the day of Judgement enters the heart, it will not be concerned with the reproach of the people of this world and their curses and teasing after such a great sound has entered it. It will not be bothered by what people say. A person sported a one-fist length beard and wrote to Hadhrat Thânwi (Rahimahullâh) that since the time he sported his beard, all his friends and acquaintances were mocking him. Hadhrat Thânwi (Rahimahullâh) replied to him that he should let his friends continue laughing. On the day of Qiyâmah he will not have to cry. He replied to another person, "Why are you fearing the laughter of people? You are a man and yet you fear. Let them laugh."

                    What a great reward Allâh Subhanahu wa Ta'âla has granted for safeguarding the gaze.

                    Firstly, protection from regret, worry and uneasiness. Secondly, the sweetness of Imân. The one who safeguards his gaze, Allâh Subhanahu wa Ta'âla will grant his heart the sweetness of Imân. After the sweetness of Imân, what will be his third reward? He will have a good ending, that is, he will die with Imân.

                    The Reason for a Good Ending

                    The question now arises: Why is there such a great reward for safeguarding the gaze which is not a very difficult task? Well, those who safeguard their gazes know what goes through their hearts at the time of turning away the glance. A person asked why is there the great reward of the sweetness of Imân for safeguarding the gaze. I replied that the heart carries the burden of all the grief when safeguarding the gaze and the heart is the king of the body. If the king has to work for you, will you pay him more or not? Allâh Subhanahu wa Ta'âla also grants more reward for the work of the heart. When the heart makes an effort and endures the grief of not looking, it pleases the Owner, then Allâh Subhanahu wa Ta'âla grants it reward. He grants it the sweetness of Imân. In reality, He grants it His own love. It has been freed from the love of corpses and attached to the Real Live One, namely Allâh Subhanahu wa Ta'âla.
                    __________________
                    http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?p=287084
                    The Sahaba (radiAllahu anhum) used to cling to the Sunnah just because it was Sunnah
                    Today we abandon the Sunnah, just because it's Sunnah.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: AW: Re: AW: Re: Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

                      Originally posted by Enigma Dreamer View Post
                      Yeah I am in the same situation as you. There would be time for your family. It is all about balancing your time, inshaaAllah. If your parent aren't religious, no one is in a better position to change them than you after Allah (s.w.). There is a lot you can do brother, you only need to realise that you indeed can with Allah's will.
                      Oh brother, I tried many times but I think they do not want to change. Especially my father not.

                      And Iam also sure that I can not marry now. Iam 17 years old and I gotta do my A-Levels and after that I want to study as I already said.

                      But thank you brothers and sisters for your commentaries.

                      However, my second question is: Is there no opportunity for a male moslem to choose his wife himself? Because I think I have got to know something about her before I will marry her. Maybe she does not have the same opinions as me. Perhaps we are totaly different characters who dont belong together.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

                        Assalaam alaikum Said, have you tried bridal kidnapping?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

                          :jkk: for an insight into the male mind
                          Some claim that u are like any one of us, But who can claim, to have visited the Arsh? We say bashr, but respect is also due. For mankind are like rocks, but a pearl are u. U travelled the 7Heavens, and ur eyes did not lie. For Jibril could not pass, but u, O Madani, glided by.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

                            Originally posted by (*_Hamzah View Post
                            Assalaam alaikum Said, have you tried bridal kidnapping?
                            he hasn't but it sounds like YOU have. ;)

                            do tell (in the bros forum if you too shy :p )
                            Last edited by Medievalist; 18-05-08, 03:02 PM.
                            Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.”

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Oh brothers have you got the same problem as me? :(

                              Originally posted by _Said_ View Post

                              And the worst thing is, she looked in my eyes and she was interested. :(
                              :start:

                              ...maybe she was thinking wot the hells is he staring at , goof'




                              j u s t B ...y o u r s e l f.

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