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So lonely!

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  • #31
    Re: So lonely!

    Yeah I go through this as well. A lot of my friends have become so engrossed with their own lives (marriage and kids keeping them busy) that it's like they don't have time to even call and if I try to call there's never a good time:o. I know it's not the same thing to interact online but I'd be lost without the internet.

    Anyway there's a hadith which says something like: make use of 5 before five (ie make use of five blessings you have before you lose the chance to use them). One of those five things is to make good use of your spare time before you become too busy. Inshallah all of us singletons want to get married and have our own kids one day, but if the sisters I know are anything to go by- after having kids it's as though they rarely get a minute to themselves let alone spare time for anyone else. My guess is by then you'll miss those long weekends where you could have some time to yourself thinking of things to do:p Some people on here have already made some good suggestions; learn a new surah or language or other skill inshallah. I'd also suggest learning self defence so that you know how to respond if any men in the street attempt to harrass you:up:
    The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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    • #32
      Re: So lonely!

      Originally posted by sis_niqabi View Post
      Salam

      i need to vent some things out right now.

      i feel like such a loser i have no friends. my weekends are spent in the house doing nothing. i have no other person to talk to but my family and co-workers. and my co-workers are not my friends.

      most people my age have friends and hang out and stuff. and what am i doing? being bored to death with nothing to do.

      and it's not like i can go out and meet friends. i live in a foreign country where there are not many people that are my age and come from the west. and the local people my age tend to keep to their own kind.

      i also feel so lonely because i have no husband. i just wish so bad i was married. mostly everybody at my job are married or either getting married. and what i am doing? just sitting at home with no friends and no husbands.

      this loneness is really started to depress me on top of that. i now go through crying spells that i've never gone through before.

      :wswrwb: alhamdulillah u have muslim family who live with u, many women live who arent married live alone and see no one sometimes for weeks at a time, it is really difficult but sis make the most of your time, read and study the Quran ask your father to bring you some islamic books, and with so many online resources, and even islamic classes, there is so much benefit to be had in these times insha Allah. ask your father to help u find a husband insha Allah, it seems u are ready to get married insha Allah, but remember that even once married your husband will be out at work all day so you will still be alone in your house all day until u have children.

      try not to let it get you down appreciate your families company for now insha Allah its a blessing to have that, and do as the prophet salAllahu alleyhi wa salam said, and look to the ones beneath you, that means the ones who are in a worse situation than yourself, its only when we do that we see how very blessed and well off we are :) chin up ukhti it wont always be that way for you insha Allah as a young woman with muslim family, living in a muslim country, u have more chance of getting married than many alhamdulillah. when you feel alone pray to Allah ta ala to bless your heart with sabr and fill it with peace

      fi amaanillah :love:
      "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

      The Prophet :saw: said:

      "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

      muslim

      Narrated 'Abdullah:

      The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


      "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

      By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

      [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

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      • #33
        Re: So lonely!

        MashAllah neelu and 'asiya have posted some very good suggestions.

        May Allah ease your affairs sis ameen. :) It's all good inshAllah.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZVEydn3RKk

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        • #34
          Re: So lonely!



          :jkk: for all you bros and sis advice. i guess i should spend some more time reading quran and islamic books instead of sobbing around the house.

          it's just it's so hard not to think about how i have no friends or no husband
          (Surah Az Zumar, (Chapter 39: Verse 53)

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          • #35
            Re: So lonely!

            Originally posted by sis_niqabi View Post


            :jkk: for all you bros and sis advice. i guess i should spend some more time reading quran and islamic books instead of sobbing around the house.

            it's just it's so hard not to think about how i have no friends or no husband

            Do you like reading novels/science?
            You can also pursue some correspondence course?
            and do you have some Islamic charities opearting near by you? You can volunteer there. When I was new in the UK, I was also getting bored. I started volunteering at oxfam, it was good.

            All the best :)

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            • #36
              Re: So lonely!

              Originally posted by sis_niqabi View Post


              :jkk: for all you bros and sis advice. i guess i should spend some more time reading quran and islamic books instead of sobbing around the house.

              it's just it's so hard not to think about how i have no friends or no husband
              Ukhtee...I hope you consider your brothers and sisters as friends. If you do, then Allah (SWT) has blessed you with many.

              ~ Umar bin Al-Khattab (RA)

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              • #37
                Re: So lonely!

                Originally posted by sis_niqabi View Post


                :jkk: for all you bros and sis advice. i guess i should spend some more time reading quran and islamic books instead of sobbing around the house.

                it's just it's so hard not to think about how i have no friends or no husband
                Masha Allah! That is the spirit!

                Life does not stop just because you have no friends or no husband.

                Remember Allah is with those who are patient.

                Keep your mind active with the sort of things I suggested. Give yourself a bit of variety in your activities: a few hours with the Quran, a few hours listening to a talk, an hour blogging, some hours of study, how about a hobby! Or doing research into history of issues, really there is so much to do.
                Try not to get fixated on the idea that you 'need a friend' or that you 'need a husband' to be happy. Allah is the one who gives happiness! Call on Him! But don't just pray , also adopt various measures to change your situation as well! 'Tie your camel and trust in Allah'

                Insha Allah this phase will pass soon and you will be so much stronger!

                We all pray for you! We all know you can do it!

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                • #38
                  Re: So lonely!

                  *CHIN UP* :D
                  j u s t B ...y o u r s e l f.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Re: So lonely!

                    Originally posted by Khubaib View Post
                    Also, I thought perhaps you can talk to ummah sisters on msn or paltalk inshallah. Just joking around a bit with them might make you feel less lonely inshallah.
                    yeh, sis join the sister's section. It's friendly and all.
                    Originally posted by Kal-El View Post
                    Read the Kite Runner. I'll email you a copy if you like
                    If you like book suggestions sis, tell moi. :)
                    "Past the seeker as he prayed came the crippled and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them...he cried, "Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?"...God said, "I did do something. I made you."" -- Sufi Teaching

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                    • #40
                      Re: So lonely!

                      Originally posted by sis_niqabi View Post
                      Salam

                      i need to vent some things out right now.

                      i feel like such a loser i have no friends. my weekends are spent in the house doing nothing. i have no other person to talk to but my family and co-workers. and my co-workers are not my friends.

                      most people my age have friends and hang out and stuff. and what am i doing? being bored to death with nothing to do.

                      and it's not like i can go out and meet friends. i live in a foreign country where there are not many people that are my age and come from the west. and the local people my age tend to keep to their own kind.

                      i also feel so lonely because i have no husband. i just wish so bad i was married. mostly everybody at my job are married or either getting married. and what i am doing? just sitting at home with no friends and no husbands.

                      this loneness is really started to depress me on top of that. i now go through crying spells that i've never gone through before.
                      I don't know you but loneliness is one of the worst feelings. So i hope you reach eudaimonia one day.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Re: So lonely!

                        Originally posted by sis_niqabi View Post



                        it's just it's so hard not to think about how i have no friends or no husband
                        So do something about it! You say it is hard for a woman to go out where you live, so there must be others around you in the same situation.

                        Go and start a group, like a sister's circle thingy :scratch: Or tell your parents you wanna do a course (easiest way to meet people). I dunno, have a dish party (my mum does that all the time - noo cooking required).

                        There must be events at the masjid, no? It can't be true that every woman in your country isn't allowed to walk out of her front door. Go and see what's there. Do some charity work. As long you are doing something productive, something of benefit to the community, there's no reason anyone should tell you to sit at home instead.

                        PM me anytime :D :D xcept fridays.

                        metroid don't rate my joke!!! :o i know its lame.

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                        • #42
                          Re: So lonely!

                          Originally posted by sis_niqabi View Post


                          :jkk: for all you bros and sis advice. i guess i should spend some more time reading quran and islamic books instead of sobbing around the house.

                          it's just it's so hard not to think about how i have no friends or no husband
                          Do you live with your parents or alone?
                          I looooooooooooooooooooooooooove Saudi.:inlove::inlove::inlove: I truely dooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.:) :) :)

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