2 girls vs some of today Muslim women!

[beamz]

Re: 2 girls vs some of today Muslim women!

ryt...ok well errm..at times when walking, say a 'brother' walks past you..he'll giv you eye contact and then say salaam in the most sleaziest, disgusting manner ever...i mean for them its a method of making convo..

now i wouldnt want to return tht persons salaam...simply because i knw he didnt mean it..had i returned the salaam..as i had done so in the past...he'd further comment and say something like 'subhanallah/mashallah sister..where are u frm?...eugh!


So to avoid all of tht...just simply dont return the salaam..

thats why i mentioned you have make sure hes genuine or not i would never reply to someone who says anything in that manner, we have to be extremly careful especially these days.

[jus'me]

Re: 2 girls vs some of today Muslim women!

Do you have anything to add to that SaudiPrince?..inshallah you understand the point some sisters have tried to make...

[Pippin1376]

Re: 2 girls vs some of today Muslim women!

I dont think there is anything wrong with returning salam, in fact its wajib, i have been in this situation where a muslim brother has asked me for directions and knowing the directions, i directed him in a proper manner, sisters you will know whether he is genuine or whether he is looking for something else dont judge, or assume.

I agree with this. It hurts the guys feelings, but sometimes it's their fault too. I was leaving work and it was late, there was some of my co-workers, plus two security guards outside, so I talked to them while waiting for my dad. A brother came up to me and said Salam, I said Salam back then he started asking me personal questions. I just went back closer to my friends and he said, "I'm a Muslim you know but whatever" and he walked away angry. Mind you it is 12 in the morning and he is approaching me, it freaked me out to the extreme.

[hanifa]

Re: 2 girls vs some of today Muslim women!

In what way am I pushing it? Did you hear me asking anyone to be shamless?

Why press and press on the business of salaaming women and gallantly offering them help? Not shameless, exactly; but you seem to advocate free salaaming on a proactive basis, whenever the opportunity arises.

The story I quoted clarifys that a man can communicate with a woman!

If there is a need

-As for the need, the girls were waiting for everybody to go so that they can water their sheep. They did not ask Mosa A.S for help. It was him who offered his help.

Did I say they did? The fact that Musa offered help confirms the permissibility of doing so as the Prophet, may Allah praise him, offered help to Asma binte Abu Bakr.

- Mosa did not want anything from the girls and when he finished, he went and sat under a tree's shadow.

Not from the girls, but from Allah. He said to Allah: "My Lord! I am in need of any good that You can send me.” (Quran 28:24)"

And I don't know how point 4, and 5 are related to the topic being discussed.

The points are all about necessity and uneeded talk. Modesty and loose behaviour.

The particular points (4 and 5) is that a woman will admire a man who is not forward and going out of his way to pass them and speak - whether it is with salam or not. They also like men who demonstrate action for the sake of Allah through not following up help by a demand on them for recognition of the act.

The fifth point is that the one of the girls became mahram to him through marriage because of the constraint between them - not through being 'familiar' with each other. The only reason the girl returned to speak to him is because her father ordered her to.


I am not sayin this has a direct bearing on returning salam, but it does have a lot to do with the etiquette of offering help.


Furthermore a women need not accept offers of help. Asma binte Abu Bakr didn't, even though it was the Prophet (MAPH), her sister's husband, that offered.

All I'm saying is when a decent man says salam reply with wa alaikom assalam and nobody should make fuss about! When a decent man offers you a help, don't just thik he did this to chat you up!

Fair enough. But what if the man is not decent? How can a girl/woman tell? What should she do if the man tries to prelong the conversation? How can a woman/girl avoid such men.

A modern day example of speaking when necessary is a story I was told a about a modern day woman, a plain girl of 17 years, who was stalked by a handsome fair-haired hunk. Apparently, he was one of those who was convinced a girl would simply faint with desire from looking at him, for he said nothing. Just always putting himself in her way. She got so fed up with him that, one day, she rounded on him and told him he was like an ineffectual fox following a herd of sheep, hoping for a chance to pick up a stray lamb. Why didn't he act like a brave lion, and stand up and be direct. The boy was so shamed that he didn't appear in her wake for the rest of her school days.

However, he did visit her family and ask for her hand directly three years later, and now they are happily married.

There are two sides to every coin. And there is an old English saying many go by: "Prevention is better than a cure."

Hanifa