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  • I'm going to meet my mom for the first time in a couple months

    Salaams.

    During spring break, I'm going to fly up and meet my birthmom for the first time and I'm really nervous. I don't know what to do or say.



    Also, she has like 3 dogs. I know something about prayers not being accepted if a dog touches you, but would it be okay in this case because the dogs will go everywhere and jump on me and get into my clothes, etc. I don't want to be demanding and force the dogs outside or anything.
    Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up do we realize something was actually strange.

  • #2
    Re: I'm going to meet my mom for the first time in a couple months

    Originally posted by Wolfn View Post
    Salaams.

    During spring break, I'm going to fly up and meet my birthmom for the first time and I'm really nervous. I don't know what to do or say.



    Also, she has like 3 dogs. I know something about prayers not being accepted if a dog touches you, but would it be okay in this case because the dogs will go everywhere and jump on me and get into my clothes, etc. I don't want to be demanding and force the dogs outside or anything.
    Ws

    wow, sounds like quiet an experience you will be going through....just be yourself and make sure you show all the love you have not gotten to show her yet. As im sure you have heard, Jannah lies at the feet of your mother.

    Dogs are Najis and them breathing on your clothes will make them non-clean. I suppose if you change your clothes you should be able to pray in clean clothes.

    However, this is just what I was taught, be sure to have it confirmed.

    Good luck bro :up:

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I'm going to meet my mom for the first time in a couple months

      Originally posted by al_islam View Post
      Ws

      wow, sounds like quiet an experience you will be going through....just be yourself and make sure you show all the love you have not gotten to show her yet. As im sure you have heard, Jannah lies at the feet of your mother.

      Dogs are Najis and them breathing on your clothes will make them non-clean. I suppose if you change your clothes you should be able to pray in clean clothes.

      However, this is just what I was taught, be sure to have it confirmed.

      Good luck bro :up:

      Ok, what about dog hair on the floor and praying where a dog has been. Is that okay?

      Also, what if all my clothes get dirty from the dogs?
      Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up do we realize something was actually strange.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I'm going to meet my mom for the first time in a couple months

        Stay relaxed, treat her as if you'd known her for most of your life. Familiarity is the key here, if you can't act in a genuinely 'familiar' manner, pretend to, it takes away the restrain.

        If you're going to her home, get up and do the dishes, anything, to break the mould.

        Don't overemphasise the fact from the start that you have a different set of principles, the more she can identify with you, the better things will be, and considering she's your birth mum and it's your first time, I'm sure you can make an exception for yourself re the dogs.

        As long as you take as much precaution as you are capable of, you're fine. Remember, if you have no alternative, you're not guilty (especially with dog hair etc...)
        ...sermons from this minbar come with tongue planted quite firmly in cheek.


        "Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need -
        a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends,
        worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you,
        a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear,
        and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing."

        -- Jerome K. Jerome
        (Three Men in a Boat)

        Comment


        • #6
          Re: I'm going to meet my mom for the first time in a couple months


          I've read those, but is there an exception in my case?
          Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up do we realize something was actually strange.

          Comment


          • #7
            Re: I'm going to meet my mom for the first time in a couple months

            Originally posted by Wolfn View Post
            I've read those, but is there an exception in my case?
            read it again (especially the third fatwa: touching dogs and their saliva does not nullify wudoo') - it should answer your question.
            URGENT!!! your help is badly needed - fundraising for marriage

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            • #8
              Re: I'm going to meet my mom for the first time in a couple months

              btw, i dont know if you have thought about a present / gift for you mum - how about a qur'an with tafseer?
              URGENT!!! your help is badly needed - fundraising for marriage

              Comment


              • #9
                Re: I'm going to meet my mom for the first time in a couple months

                I wish you the best when you meet your Mother. It seems like it will be an experience to remember :D

                Also, she has like 3 dogs. I know something about prayers not being accepted if a dog touches you, but would it be okay in this case because the dogs will go everywhere and jump on me and get into my clothes, etc. I don't want to be demanding and force the dogs outside or anything.
                I use to babysit some kids who had a dog. The dog wouldn't ever come near me after it learned not too. At first it did, but after awhile when it saw me it would go to the other side. Only time it was ever close to me was when I had to feed her.

                Also if you are praying, there is no reason why you can't just ask for the dogs to be away from you. Or you can go into a room, lock the door and pray.
                مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

                "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
                It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
                Surah al-Baqarah
                [2:245]

                .:.
                .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
                Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

                .:.
                ...said the spider to the fly...

                Comment


                • #10
                  Re: I'm going to meet my mom for the first time in a couple months

                  Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post
                  I wish you the best when you meet your Mother. It seems like it will be an experience to remember :D


                  I use to babysit some kids who had a dog. The dog wouldn't ever come near me after it learned not too. At first it did, but after awhile when it saw me it would go to the other side. Only time it was ever close to me was when I had to feed her.

                  Also if you are praying, there is no reason why you can't just ask for the dogs to be away from you. Or you can go into a room, lock the door and pray.
                  But if the dogs have been in the room before and there's hair on the floor, is it still okay for me to pray there?

                  Also, if a dog licks me or something, is there a special way I need to wash myself (I read something like I have to wash where the dog licked me 7 times or something like that)
                  Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up do we realize something was actually strange.

                  Comment


                  • #11
                    Re: I'm going to meet my mom for the first time in a couple months

                    Perhaps you can bring a prayer rug with you?

                    If a dog licks you, you have to wash the spot 6 times with water and once with sand/earth.
                    مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

                    "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
                    It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
                    Surah al-Baqarah
                    [2:245]

                    .:.
                    .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
                    Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

                    .:.
                    ...said the spider to the fly...

                    Comment


                    • #12
                      Re: I'm going to meet my mom for the first time in a couple months

                      Originally posted by abdulhakeem View Post
                      btw, i dont know if you have thought about a present / gift for you mum - how about a qur'an with tafseer?
                      Abdul, for as much as I respect you, I don't think this is, at present, a very good idea.

                      This situation is already loaded with enough emotional tension without tossing religion into the mix.

                      The last thing in the world Wolfn needs to do is give his biological mother the impression that the reason he wanted to meet her was to convert her to Islam.

                      Wolfn, what you need to do is to try and be as patient as possible with yourself and your biological mother.

                      Both of you are likely going to bring a great many complicated emotions to this meeting.

                      I'd suggest that at first you guys shouldn't spend a lot of time in isolation together. Try to get outside as much as possible and do things like take walks together or visit a park or museum together.

                      Also, and this is very, very important: approach this meeting with absolutely no expectations, for yourself or for her.

                      If the subject of Islam comes up, you can of course talk about it, but at this stage, when you two are just getting to know each other, I'd keep these discussions very light.

                      If you really want to teach her about Islam, show her what Islam means through your behavior. Be thoughtful, patient, polite, and kind.

                      It might be a very nice gesture on your part to do some research and see what beginner's books about Islam are available at libraries and bookstores near where you live.

                      And that, too, might make a nice outing for the two of you.

                      If she has a lot of questions about Islam, you could say, "Well, you know, before I came, I found out that the library a few blocks from here has X, Y, and Z books about Islam. Why don't we go and see what they have?"

                      Comment


                      • #13
                        Re: I'm going to meet my mom for the first time in a couple months

                        Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post
                        Perhaps you can bring a prayer rug with you?

                        If a dog licks you, you have to wash the spot 6 times with water and once with sand/earth.
                        Yeah, I'll bring the prayer rug, but still I'm anxious about the dog situation. Like what if a dog jumps on my prayer rug or something?
                        Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up do we realize something was actually strange.

                        Comment


                        • #14
                          Re: I'm going to meet my mom for the first time in a couple months

                          Originally posted by Wolfn View Post
                          But if the dogs have been in the room before and there's hair on the floor, is it still okay for me to pray there?

                          Also, if a dog licks me or something, is there a special way I need to wash myself (I read something like I have to wash where the dog licked me 7 times or something like that)
                          as i mentioned before, check the links i posted above. take your time and you will find all your answers there. sheikh munajid mentioned in those fatawa that only the saliva of the dog is impure - though in one older fatwa he mentioned (without giving evidence) that touching the wet fur of a dog makes your hand or any other part that touches it impure as well. he also mentions how you can purify yourself. then again: it will NOT nullify your wudoo nor prayer.

                          however, you should ask for a separate room (no places where we are forbidden to pray like bathrooms, toiltes or places built on graves) to avoid disturbance during prayer (especially from the dogs). if you are hypersensitive or still feel uncomfortable with the idea that there could be any impurity on the ground/floor then use a prayer rug to avoid contact with things on the floor/ground.
                          URGENT!!! your help is badly needed - fundraising for marriage

                          Comment


                          • #15
                            Re: I'm going to meet my mom for the first time in a couple months

                            Originally posted by Wolfn View Post
                            Yeah, I'll bring the prayer rug, but still I'm anxious about the dog situation. Like what if a dog jumps on my prayer rug or something?
                            put it in a bag.
                            URGENT!!! your help is badly needed - fundraising for marriage

                            Comment

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