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  • #16
    I kind of had a discussion with my Mom about things that are bothering me between both of us. Didn't end very well and we(My sister/Mom/ Myself) started recalling the events of a big fight that happened last March. As I've said in my original post I never went at my Mom or my siblings while some of them attacked me. I mean that was the only thing I can hold onto knowing that I was sticking to the better side of my conscience.

    Obviously I already set a barrier in my mind knowing I just can't do anything to my mom since that's a grave sin so I ended up trying to grab objects in her hand that she was using to hit me with (A ruler or maybe a hanger) and then shell up. But when my siblings (Two of my sisters ) just started hitting me I mean what the hell do I owe them. I owe my parents especially my mom for bringing me into this world. I don't know why I didn't just vent my anger and go rabid at them especially my older sister who choked me and abused throughout my childhood.

    And even now when I bring up what my older sister to me right in front of her face she just says, "Well if you are killing my mom , I'm going to do it" I MEAN like what the hell how I AM I "KILLING" her when I'm the one who is just taking all the brutal hits from my FREAKING FAMILY. Its like they're participating in some psycho group effort to torture me.

    My siblings often say they also went through the same beatings as kids. And I'm like in my head are you serious right now are you trying to rationalize me getting abused by two sisters and my mom. I'm pretty sure no one else had to get beaten by 3 family at one go. And my mom beating me is just like the cherry on top for the messed up recipe of my life.

    Aren't moms supposed to be loving and making sure nothing hurts their kids! Its one thing where the mom disciplines and beats their kid, but its another thing where the mom just joins in on the fun on beating her kid with some of her other children.

    I honestly don't think they know how much they messed up my head and I'm starting to think this might have been having an effect on other parts of my life (academic, social, etc.) I cant even talk to someone who is outside of this sick family cult bubble. If I talk to my dad, the people in the house right know which is my 3 sisters, 1 brother and mom will make my lofe a hell since they will make look like a backstabber and deceiver. I can't call a hotline since I don't have a phone plus I can't even find a private place inside this claustrophobic house.

    This is my only way to make sure I'm not crazy thinking that I might be at LEAST getting treated poorly from this family. During our argument which happened like an hour ago my MOM SAID THAT I HIT HER. SHE SAID THAT I PUSHED HER ONTO THE WALL AND MADE HER HIT THE WALL.



    this is an excerpt from my original post



    " But going back to the fight one of the two initial older sisters started to notice I wasn't budging and tried to put soap/water (Now I'm thinking it might have been wudu/washing my hand(If in the case of washing my hands I probably was upset of always being tested of my faith /credibility) My mom went behind me and tried to restrain my hands and my sisters started to approach me. Obviously by now I was like what the hell is going on and I tried getting up. BY now my mom was on my back trying to put me down. My mom is heavier than me so when I started getting up my body started to lose balance and titled back. When this happened my mom hit her head on the wall and she released me. I quickly went to the opposite side of the room and observed on what was going on"


    You can check the original post of you want

    I MEAN in what universe how can she twist the truth to where I was helpless as she tried climbing onto my back while I was being restrained from my sisters. She is 20 pounds heavier than me and IMAGINE IF YOU TRY STANDING UP SUDDENLY WITH A SUPER HEAVY BACKPACK THAT ALSO HAPPENS to be pulling at you.

    If authorities ever go into this I mean I feel like my siblings will side with my mom and agree with everything that she is saying. I COULD possibly be framed for HURTING my mom where the only thing that gave me hope that I was doing the right thing was where I did not even show the slightest of aggression towards anyone including my sibling.


    Hopefully if it ever goes to that point the original post can be an objective testament to what actually happened that day.

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    • #17
      Ijads, abusers never resort to just one form of abuse. In other words, they'll never just stick to hitting a person because they know eventually someone will find out and question them about it, so that's when they resort to mind games and gaslighting (look up "gaslighting" online). In other words, to deflect any attention from valid accusations against them, they will make false accusations against you by pretending that everything that goes wrong is your own fault and also resorting to threats of what they say will go wrong if you tell anyone. They will do ANYTHING to hide their abuse of you and if the truth comes out, they'll do anything to try and blame you for it.

      I don't know your family well enough to say for sure, but I think you should tell your dad what's going on. It's not like hiding the abuse from him is making things any better either. If you have a recording device (maybe on your laptop or some other device) then you should try to record evidence of what's going on for future reference and save that evidence on a cloud or email address that your family don't know about so that destroying the device wont destroy the evidence.
      The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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      • #18
        Thanks neelu. I have to admit when writing my last post I was kind of flustered and I pretty much vented out whatever I needed to say. I'll see what I can do about the recording device, but it will be pretty hard to kind of set up a discussion about such a sensitive topic. I can just send the recordings to my email since no one knows how to get into it and if I need to I'll try to figure out how to use Icloud. I have my own apple ID so it shouldn't be too difficult.

        I already took some pictures of some of my marks I got from the fight (Mostly healed, but somewhat visible). Not sure if it proves anything at the end of the day.

        Thanks again for reaffirming me that all of this isn't 100% of my fault.

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        • #19
          And I thought I was abused.
          Hope you're doing better
          "When you want to cry, laugh.
          If you're frozen in fear, you can't do anything"

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          • #20
            wow this is very complicated

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