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I'm really getting bored..I think i'm going crazy

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  • I'm really getting bored..I think i'm going crazy

    Asalamualaikum,

    What I wanted to share is that recently I've been getting very bored. I'm a 22 year old male who has stuck the majority of to his Muslims ideals, I never drank, did drugs, smoked, went to parties, no zina, none of that, it's gotten to the point where I barely even communicate with women. The only party I did go to was one I went to by accident in college because I worked in a building doing workstudy and there happened to be a Halloween party there that night, I was a freshman and I didn't know anything yet. I went to an Islamic school growing up, being in a closed environment of guys and girls separated, dressed appropriately..etc, when I went to college It was a whole new world to me. I see girls wearing short skirts and basically half naked, people making out in the cafeteria, smoking weed, some people coming to class drunk, and the rest of the things they do. I really held on to myself as much as I can in college, despite the many opportunities with women (many, it is college) , offers to smoke and drink, and I did none of it. The temptations were many and my hormones were wild, but with Allahs help I somehow made it through and committed no major sins. I think part of it was that sometimes, not always I will be honest, I would see a good-looking girl dressed to impress the opposite sex, while wearing a short skirt and revealing herself, I would just remember how there is another Muslim girl on campus having to wear her hijab and cover her entire body, and it'd help me out.

    It was not easy, I've went through very bad depression, eating lunch alone everyday, no one around, nights crying and despising myself, and spent a lot of time alone in general, because I just couldn't find the right people, it's really not easy having any friends and no one to speak to. A lot of the non-Muslim friends I had before, I cut off, they were just people I didn't want to be around and bad influences. I finally found a group of people in my senior year. spent my whole year with them, now I graduated and despite my efforts to try and reconnect with them... I'm alone yet again. Now back to my point, I've been getting really bored, part of me is proud that I fought hard through all those temptations in college, but then theres that part of "what if...only if.." , then the "I missed out big time..". It's college, and it's very hyped, and I feel like I wasn't a part of that hype. A really big part of me just wants to jump out and release myself into the wild and do all the things I didn't do, and "Live a little". I know its a feeling I should ignore, but until when, I'm human. I have urges and desires as well and they want to be met. I sometimes feel like I'm going crazy, I noticed recently I started talking to myself, at first it was once or twice a day, but gradually it become almost the whole day. "How much longer?", that question really drives me crazy. I always try to say to myself, in Janna ill have more than ever, whatever I want..but then another thought comes to mind, "What if I held back and did all this, and I still don't go to Jannah, that this wasn't worth it at all, I put myself through so much mental torture and now what..?" It's very very tough, it's like you're biting a rope as hard as you can and someone is pulling it as hard as possible, if you let go, all your teeth come flying out. The bite is me, the rope is the temptations,the pulling is the people around, and the teeth symbolize the dignity and struggle.

  • #2
    Wa ‘alaikum as-salam

    You have done well by not taking part in all those things you have mentioned

    We shouldn’t envy those who lead this kind of lifestyle, we should pity them. Alhamdulillah you have imaan. You’ll find a lot of people who lead this kind of lifestyle are hollow, unhappy and empty, they deal will their emptiness by going from party to party, fulfilling every desire they have and distracting themselves from what is really important and valuable

    I would say to develop your love for Allah swt. Know Him buy studying His names and attributes. When you do so, you will naturally be put off by anything that is forbidden. Anything that displeases Allah swt will displease you

    Islam is what gives you life. Busy yourself with beneficial and productive things, seek knowledge and try and make some friends from work or elsewhere, take up a sport if you wish. Stay true to your faith, have good thoughts of Allah swt, and you will find yourself in a good place

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    • #3
      Deleted.
      Last edited by oshirowanen; 15-11-19, 02:37 PM.

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      • #4
        What is stopping you from getting married? Marriage will give you something to focus on.

        If you have a lot of spare time why don't you help out at a local masjid with Quran classes that they normally have in the evenings or weekends?

        Shaitan is putting them thoughts into your head. Don't let him win.

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        • #5
          ^ getting married would probably be a good idea.

          But until then you can always stick around and talk to people on the forum. Or you can join other forums and see what’s happening in peoples lives. Or you can get a job that can keep you occupied. Try to put yourself out there and you never know, you might find a group of people that you like being a part of.

          You did the right thing, don’t feel like you’ve wasted your life.

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          • #6
            Fast every other day and memorize the Quran until you get married.

            Fasting will help you with your boredom, inshaAllah.

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