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  • Lameesphillips
    started a topic Please help

    Please help

    Asalumuailkum
    I am a 22 year old girl, okay so I'm just here to ask for a bit of guidance and help as to what I can do in my situation. So my mother is Muslim and my father is Christian I haven't seen them both for 5 years now. When I was 18 I moved away from my mother to my father cause she was very abusive and use to treat me and my siblings very badly. Then when I moved to my father my mother wrote all ties off with me cause of pride 😔. I realized that I may have hurt her feelings in the process which I then asked maaf for at my grandma's janazah 2 years ago, she wouldn't forgive me for it so I left. Mean while me and my dad were going off the rocks and he moved out to live with his new wife which left me with my Christian step mother in law I was living a life of haram and still am living in haram. 3 years ago I met this Christian guy we hit it off and started dating (yes I know it is haram, please don't judge cause I am only lost 😔 or was). Me and my step mother haven't been doing well with each other either so I decided to move in with this guy in haram, we have been living together for 2 years now and recently lost our baby. When I wa sprgenant I got in touch with one of my Muslim moms cousins, she then persisted that we were to get married. A few weeks after we got in touch I had a miscarriage and lost my baby. And my bf was not in to the idea of accepting Islam as he didn't quite know about it. Since the miscarriage my aim is to put my self in front of Allah only. I have been starting to re-educate myself on my deen and in the process have been teaching him as well. But he still won't turn to Islam I don't want him to did it for me I want him to see the beauty in it. I have started making my salaah on time while trying Atleast cause my imaan is still a bit shaky. The only problem I have is. I know that I can't guide him unless Allah wants to guide him. So I would have to let go of him. But I just don't know what to do cause I have no where to go. I can't move in with my Muslim aunty cause she doesn't have space for me, and I don't want to go back to my Christina. Step mother cause a whole lot of haram happens there, my step brothers are always smoking weed, drinking and partying in the house which I know won't be good for my deen. Cause they would try and influence me. I have no other Muslim family members to reach out to and I am only a student who gets r985 from my campus for travelling allowances I am on a bursary and I have tried to get accommodation at campus but there is no space. I have also applied for jobs. But still waiting on them to return my call. I have asked my mother for forgiveness and asked her if I could come back but she never replies and doesn't want to see me. My aunty has also tried but she is stubborn. I have asked Allah to forgive me as well for what I have done in pass and to her. I really don't know what to do cause I don't want to stay with him like this in haram but I have no where else to go ****please give advice

  • IsaahM
    replied
    Originally posted by Lameesphillips View Post
    I stay in cape Town,
    How is your situation now? Do you still need advice and direction?

    Leave a comment:


  • Umm Amira
    replied
    Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu,

    Allah says in the Holy Quran:
    "And whosoever has Taqwa of Allah, He will make a way for him to get out. And He will provide him from where he never could imagine." (65:2-3)

    Whoever has Taqwa of Allah in what He has commanded and avoids what He has forbidden, then Allah will make a way out for him from every difficulty and will provide for him from resources he never anticipated or thought about. Fulfill the rights of Allah, that is what He made obligatory, the 5 prayers and have good conduct with the people (people forget how important this is, manners are a part of imaan and whoever surpasses you in manners surpasses you in faith) and it is OBLIGATORY to have good manners with the people. And stay away from what he made forbidden.

    If you do this, then Allah will find a way out for you, whether it be through your mother, your aunt, a new job, etc. Have certainty in Allah and obey Him and He will give you provision. Whoever disobeys Allah and then expects provision it is wishful thinking. Whatever you did in the past is done. Allah forgives all sins. Allah says in the Quran:

    Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." (39:53)

    Repent to Allah and turn to Him fully and He will settle all your affairs in due time. May Allah bless you and give you relief.
    Last edited by Umm Amira; 24-02-19, 04:29 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • blitz
    replied
    Really glad to know that you have started praying your salah on time. You've already taken a step in the right direction and I pray that Allah strengthens your Imaan. It would be very stupid to live with kuffars now as they would try to influence you. Keep asking for forgiveness from your mother and tell her that you have nowhere to live and really need her help. It seems to me that as of right now your aunt is your only Muslim relative. It would be best to ask her to let you stay with her for some time until you can find your own place to live. You would also need to get a job and start looking for your own place to stay. May Allah make it easier for you.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by Lameesphillips View Post
    I do make salaah. And I would like to go on my own but I have no where to go.
    is there no way the government will help u

    or no sheltors for women

    also try and get a job( a halal one) so u van provide for your self and leave

    dont think im trying to be rude im only being straight uo because its best for you and ive seen people in your situation and your parents situation and it doesnt end well

    end of the day this life is a test and after judgement day we go hell or paradise
    Allah already said the kuffar will go jahannam
    Allah already said the enemies of Allah ie kuffar should not be taken as friends
    Allah already said they want yout to disbelieve like they do
    Allah already said they will never approove of your relgion until you follow theirs
    Allah already said women cannot be with kuffar men
    Muhammed صلي الله عليه سلم said your on the religion of your friend


    if you read quran or hadith it is clear
    i suggest you read them both if you dont know arabic meaning then in english
    especially quran from a to z


    get a way from your kaafir boyfriend asap
    for your own good
    if u want to be a true muslim you cant be around bad muslims let alone kuffar

    Leave a comment:


  • Lameesphillips
    replied
    I do make salaah. And I would like to go on my own but I have no where to go.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    this is the consequencesn of muslim women going with kuffar men
    ( a warning and reminder)

    to op
    you should leave the kaafir boyfriend hes no good for you and he will enter jahannam and will help you enter jahannam leave him(if he doesnt become mhslim, he doesnt seem interested in islam)

    if no family benefits you then live by yourself for a while and develop your self in islam
    start praying 5 times a day if u dont already

    Leave a comment:


  • Lameesphillips
    replied
    I stay in cape Town,

    Leave a comment:


  • IsaahM
    replied
    where do you live?

    Leave a comment:

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