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difficulties of wearing the Hijab in University

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  • difficulties of wearing the Hijab in University

    I posted my question about difficulties wearing the hijab in Universities and my thread was closed. Apparently it wasn't supposed to be in the marriage section. I read these Ummah Forums and I have seen threads that are worse than mine that are not closed. Can a moderator please tell me where I should post my question instead of closing my thread. I will copy and paste my question here for all to see.

  • #2
    I am a 19 year old University student really struggling with wearing my hijab and abaaya. I am in a space filled with women my age who show their beauties and I feel depressed covering up.

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    • #3
      This is the only place I feel safe talking about my problem and I don't know why Ummah would shut me out. Is it better for me to struggle with my hijaab and abaaya on my own.

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      • #4
        If anyone is interested in reading my full post. It is under the marriage section, titled finding hijab wearing the hijab difficult

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        • #5
          I didn't finish my story. I am a pakistani girl whose 19 and I went to Islamic School in high school. I am in University properly covering wearing abaaya and hijab. I have a 1st cousin that chills with me and we are the same age. She comes to school with full make up, skinny jeans, tight clothes and I am seeing all the attention she is getting. I am starting get jealous of the attention she is getting and slowly I am starting to want to follow her. If I am doing the right thing covering up then why is she being rewarded more. I am invisible in school and she is a social butterfly. She has a lot of friends a lot of boys like her and here I am feeling like a loser. I sometimes think I should just follow her and start dressing like her because life is too short to be depressed.

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          • #6
            My bigger problem is covering up wearing abaaya and hijaab is more difficult now with peer pressure. I would like sisters that cover up with abaayas and hijab to tell me: how they overcame the peer pressure of looking good to please Allah. If brothers can tell me who is a better person me or my cousin. If I dress more modest than her then why do men give her more attention. If I was your sister would you want me to be her or me.

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            • #7
              Oh dear.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by ShySalma View Post
                This is the only place I feel safe talking about my problem and I don't know why Ummah would shut me out. Is it better for me to struggle with my hijaab and abaaya on my own.
                For what reasons do you wear the hijaab/abaya?

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by ShySalma View Post
                  I didn't finish my story. I am a pakistani girl whose 19 and I went to Islamic School in high school. I am in University properly covering wearing abaaya and hijab. I have a 1st cousin that chills with me and we are the same age. She comes to school with full make up, skinny jeans, tight clothes and I am seeing all the attention she is getting. I am starting get jealous of the attention she is getting and slowly I am starting to want to follow her. If I am doing the right thing covering up then why is she being rewarded more. I am invisible in school and she is a social butterfly. She has a lot of friends a lot of boys like her and here I am feeling like a loser. I sometimes think I should just follow her and start dressing like her because life is too short to be depressed.
                  Why do you feel the need to get attention? Why do you think she is being rewarded for disobeying her Creator? She is being left to go astray so don't let your shaytan convince you to follow her. If you read the Quran then you would have the right mindset to keep on the Straight Way. When you ignore the Remembrance (Quran) then Allah Azza wa Jal appoints for you a shaytan to leave you to go astray. If university is going to be such a fitnah for you and your weak iman, then you better take the semester off or how long you need to rectify your Deen because your iman is priority number one and anything that jeopardizes that needs to be forsaken. There is no use for your degree if it is at the expense of your Deen and the Hereafter. Get you priorities straight or fall into disaster.
                  "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

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                  • #10
                    do you want guys to gaze at you
                    objectify you like some piece of meat
                    talk about you to all their friends about how they want to take advantage of you
                    they dont have respect for you or appreciate your charachter
                    wallahi these guys are like animals they are just trying to find ways to speak to girl take advantage of her use her than tell his friends about it
                    they will not respect or value
                    they will use u and then throw u away

                    your cousin is getting attention from the wrong crowd of guys
                    she is sinning by disobeying Allah and showing her awrah to non mehram men
                    and wallahi on the day of judgement shel regret it
                    shel wish she could have not gained those sins and lost that ajr of covering awrah
                    on top of that these men will just try take advantage of her

                    a real muslim man would value you and respect you
                    who will look at you for your character, your deen who will ask for your fathers permission
                    in fact they would be happier if you covered and wouldnt want any man looking at u


                    and allahu aelam who is better you or your cousin
                    its not a competition you want the best for her
                    may Allah guide her
                    but maybe she does good deeds that no one else knows so Allah knows best

                    but she is sinning by not covering
                    and in sha Allah you are getting ajr for covering

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                    • #11
                      covering yourself correctly beautifies you in front of Allah and in front of believing women & men.

                      wearing whatever you like to get attention will only beautify you in front of men with no haya who will objectify you, just know sister that the message has been revealed to you and you have been chosen, thinking it will make you happier is only whispers of shaytan, because once you do it then you will want to do more and more to feel '' happier'' following your desires to such an extent will never make you happy, they will never be happy with you until you become like them.

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                      • #12
                        I would also like to add please try to get closer to Allah, by firstly obeying him & loving what he loves and hating what he hates, once you get closer to Allah you will be thankful and Insha'Allah it will become easier for you & you will be content & just know the right brother who sees you as a potential wife will love the fact you are covered like a pearl well preserved, Allah came with the Quran to honour you.


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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by ShySalma View Post
                          My bigger problem is covering up wearing abaaya and hijaab is more difficult now with peer pressure. I would like sisters that cover up with abaayas and hijab to tell me: how they overcame the peer pressure of looking good to please Allah. If brothers can tell me who is a better person me or my cousin. If I dress more modest than her then why do men give her more attention. If I was your sister would you want me to be her or me.
                          she is pleasing the creation, you are pleasing the creator, if that isn't a big enough statement I don't know what is, just stay strong & just know what you are doing is the right thing & you should try and tell your cousin to dress more modestly she is a bad influence on you

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                          • #14
                            Sister, the advice you were given in this thread is very helpful and I really think you should consider following it. I'm sorry, but university seems to be a huge fitnah for you. ​I'm not sure how it works, but maybe you can look into alternatives such as online universities.​​​​​​ Alhamdulillah, Allah guided you to this forum to seek help, so please take the advice you were given.

                            You could end up absolutely destroying your akhirah if you continue down this route. Please keep in mind that sins can lead you to abandoning the religion and that the afterlife is eternal while we only stay on this earth for a very short time in comparison. Don't give up something so major for attention from predators in your university. You'll lose in this life and the next. They'll break your heart and help you destroy your akhirah.

                            Work on increasing you iman and making finding good sisters to be friends with. Don't associate with negative influences, like people who openly sin. Make plenty of istighfar, make dua, listen to lectures on the akhirah and do not neglect reading the Quran on a daily basis.
                            "Had Allah lifted the veil for his slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of the love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. Therefore if the pains of this world tire you do not grieve. For it may be that Allah wishes to hear your voice by way of duaa. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know; that verily Allah does not forget it."
                            - Ibn al Qayyim (rahimahullah)

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                            • #15
                              You seem fixated on the opinions of others.

                              I mean much of your post is asking UF users to validate that you are better than your cousin so you can feel good about yourself.

                              You need to correct this mindset.

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