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New Muslim former homosexual/transgender?

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  • New Muslim former homosexual/transgender?

    Hi, everyone! I am new to Islam but I fear I will not be accepted as Muslim because of my past.

    I am a 24 year old American born woman. I have struggled with my sexuality & gender identity since I was in high school. I "came out" as lesbian when. I was around 16 of 17. I "came out" as transgender at around age 20 or so.

    Anyways, I have always been interested in religion. My first look into religion was Christianity. I thought I believed Jesus was God, but when I prayed to him it felt wrong. I looked into Islam and found I connected to it more than I did with Christianity. I believe in Allah, the one true God and his last messenger, Muhammad (pbuh).

    I really want to start getting into Islam and be a true Muslim woman, but I have a dark past and fear other muslims and, especially, Allah, will not accept me. I have been struggling with self-harm (cutting), smoking and, just recently, drinking. I don't know what to do. I've been living this lifestyle for so long. I continue to dress in men's clothes, have short hair, and wear "gay pride" things. Everyone knows me as gay/transgender.

    What do I do? Please, follow brothers and sisters in Islam, I need your help. Please help a desperate Muslimah! Allhamdullilah❤

  • #2
    Sister dont despair, the moment you accept islam Allah wipes out your sins, so none of your past sins will remain a burden.

    just discard of the alcohol, cigarettes and male clothing, and be a free muslimah in sha Allah.

    may Allah bless you Allahumma ameen
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    • #3
      Salaam sister. Allah forgives all sins and his mercy prevails over his wrath. However, do not disclose your sins to others because making a sin public is a sin in itself. Whatever your past is, alhamdullilah that you have been guided to the right path. There is no need to dwell on your former mistakes and feel bad about it; we all have a past. Try to incorporate the 5 prayers into your everyday life and in shaa Allah some of the bad habits you mentioned will stop. Take things slow. Allah doesn't expect us to be perfect overnight. But the fact that you're trying is commendable. Make sure you stop alcohol completely because prayer is not valid when people consume alcohol. Here is a hadith to offer you some comfort in shaa Allah

      On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Prophet (ﷺ) said: Allah the Almighty said: I am as My servant thinks I am (1). I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm's length, I draw near to him a cubit, and if he draws near to Me a cubit, I draw near to him a fathom. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.
      Another possible rendering of the Arabic is: "I am as My servant expects Me to be". The meaning is that forgiveness and acceptance of repentance by the Almighty is subject to His servant truly believing that He is forgiving and merciful. However, not to accompany such belief with right action would be to mock the Almighty. It was related by al-Buhkari (also by Muslim, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn-Majah).

      Feel free to pm me if you need further advice.


      • #4
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        • #5
          All amazing responses, I can't think of what to add but, welcome to the deen.

          I ask Allah to keep you guided and bless you with all good in this life and the hereafter ameen.
          وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

          And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."

          أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

          Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].

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          • #6
            I think it would be really helpful for you to migrate somewhere. Just like our Prophet did, make hijrah(migration) and move somewhere new. When you are in a new place it will be easier for you to start a new life. Leave everything and everyone behind and take only your God with you when you move. It will prove quite difficult to change and be a new person when you are surrounded by old friends and old habits. I can confirm this really helps through personal experience. Also there's a really great hadith on the reward of a person who migrates solely for the cause of Allah, unfortunately I cant remember the details of it, maybe someone else can help...