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Life is too difficult. Does Allah hate me?

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  • Life is too difficult. Does Allah hate me?

    I'm a single muslim woman in my late twenties who can't find a muslim husband. I come from a non religious muslim family, and they want me to get married and have kids, but I can't find a husband. We don't ask for others hand anymore, we find our own partners and I haven't found a potential husband yet. I'm about to give up. Almost everyone i know is married/about to, have kids etc. I'm happy for them, i wish everyone the best, i really do but it's hard to be happy for others when you aren't happy yourself. I really want to enjoy their happiness or be happy when they get married, have kids etc. but every time i attend their ceremonies/gatherings i get sad, because i'm scared that i will never find love/happiness. I hate feeling this way, i feel so bad. And i hate that people pity me. I've had problems my whole teen/adult life, everything has been difficult for me. Everything from getting a driving licence, to get an education, to get a job and to get a husband. I recently lost my job and I keep losing things/people, i've also lost a few friends and i keep failing at life. I don't know what to do anymore.

    Sometimes I feel that Allah hates me or punishes me for my past sins. I've sinned a lot. I had boyfriend (he was also a muslim) who abused me, also sexually. He pressured me to do things. I regret it and I feel bad about it. I apologised to Allah and asked him for help, but he doesn't answer my prayers. I feel lost, i don't know what to do anymore. I feel like giving up.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Muslim018 View Post
    I'm a single muslim woman in my late twenties who can't find a muslim husband. I come from a non religious muslim family, and they want me to get married and have kids, but I can't find a husband. We don't ask for others hand anymore, we find our own partners and I haven't found a potential husband yet. I'm about to give up. Almost everyone i know is married/about to, have kids etc. I'm happy for them, i wish everyone the best, i really do but it's hard to be happy for others when you aren't happy yourself. I really want to enjoy their happiness or be happy when they get married, have kids etc. but every time i attend their ceremonies/gatherings i get sad, because i'm scared that i will never find love/happiness. I hate feeling this way, i feel so bad. And i hate that people pity me. I've had problems my whole teen/adult life, everything has been difficult for me. Everything from getting a driving licence, to get an education, to get a job and to get a husband. I recently lost my job and I keep losing things/people, i've also lost a few friends and i keep failing at life. I don't know what to do anymore.

    Sometimes I feel that Allah hates me or punishes me for my past sins. I've sinned a lot. I had boyfriend (he was also a muslim) who abused me, also sexually. He pressured me to do things. I regret it and I feel bad about it. I apologised to Allah and asked him for help, but he doesn't answer my prayers. I feel lost, i don't know what to do anymore. I feel like giving up.
    Why so serious? Relax. You're still alive, you can breathe, you can eat and bathe without help. You have a roof and food and a family. Don't be in despair, there's lots of hope in the religion. You need to take it step by step ok? Stop expecting things from the world and start giving and seeing what you can contribute and not just what you can get.

    First off. Have you been praying regularly?

    Comment


    • #3
      We were put here as a test
      Allah says in the quran

      Al-'Ankabut 29:2

      أَحَسِبَ ٱلنَّاسُ أَن يُتْرَكُوٓا أَن يَقُولُوٓا ءَامَنَّا وَهُمْ لَا يُفْتَنُونَ

      Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried?

      To get jannah was never going to be easy
      Even the prophets the best of mankind were tested.


      Allah Azzawajal Tested; Prophet Nuh With A Flood,
      Prophet Ibrahim With A Fire,
      Ya'qub With Blindness,
      Yousuf With Separation,
      Ayyub With Illness,
      Zakariyya With Loneliness,
      Musa With Tyrants,
      Harun With Betrayal,
      Sulayman With Kingdom And Dawud With War

      People outcasted the prophet. They called him a madman a soothsayer they hit hit ,stoned him until he was covered in blood. Allah took the lives of 6 of his children before Allah took his own life. He lost his parents his wife his uncle his kids (except fatima) before his own death.

      The prophets were tested to the point where the quran said

      Al-Baqarah 2:214

      أَمْ حَسِبْتُمْ أَن تَدْخُلُوا ٱلْجَنَّةَ وَلَمَّا يَأْتِكُم مَّثَلُ ٱلَّذِينَ خَلَوْا مِن قَبْلِكُمۖ مَّسَّتْهُمُ ٱلْبَأْسَآءُ وَٱلضَّرَّآءُ وَزُلْزِلُوا حَتَّىٰ يَقُولَ ٱلرَّسُولُ وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا مَعَهُ‌و مَتَىٰ نَصْرُ ٱللَّهِۗ أَلَآ إِنَّ نَصْرَ ٱللَّهِ قَرِيبٌ

      Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said,"When is the help of Allah ?" Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near.

      These struggles your going through are tests from Allah. If you patient and persevere through them with righteousness then know that paradise will be yours for eternity. But you have to go through hardship first.

      Ash-Sharh 94:6

      إِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

      Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.

      And Allah will not allow you to go through something that you cant handle. Be patient and know that if you are then your sins will be forgiven as the prophet said your sins can be forgiven by Allah when your tested even the prick of a thorn can lead to your sins being forgiven (this wasnt the word for word of what the hadith said but the gist of it )

      Look to Allah for everything from hope to hapiness. Some may have said it already but try sincerely open up to Allah pray and make duas to Allah and read quran in arabic and english so u know what Allah is telling you
      And persevere through these struggles. Dont give up on life. The shaytaan wants you to but dont give in. If you persevere then

      As-Saffat 37:42

      فَوَٰكِهُۖ وَهُم مُّكْرَمُونَ

      Fruits; and they will be honored

      As-Saffat 37:41

      أُولَٰٓئِكَ لَهُمْ رِزْقٌ مَّعْلُومٌ

      Those will have a provision determined -


      As-Saffat 37:44

      عَلَىٰ سُرُرٍ مُّتَقَٰبِلِينَ

      On thrones facing one another.

      As-Saffat 37:45

      يُطَافُ عَلَيْهِم بِكَأْسٍ مِّن مَّعِينٍۭ

      There will be circulated among them a cup [of wine] from a flowing spring,

      As-Saffat 37:46

      بَيْضَآءَ لَذَّةٍ لِّلشَّٰرِبِينَ

      White and delicious to the drinkers;
      As-Saffat 37:47

      لَا فِيهَا غَوْلٌ وَلَا هُمْ عَنْهَا يُنزَفُونَ

      No bad effect is there in it, nor from it will they be intoxicated.
      As-Saffat 37:48

      وَعِندَهُمْ قَٰصِرَٰتُ ٱلطَّرْفِ عِينٌ

      And with them will be women limiting [their] glances, with large, [beautiful] eyes,

      Az-Zumar 39:20

      لَٰكِنِ ٱلَّذِينَ ٱتَّقَوْا رَبَّهُمْ لَهُمْ غُرَفٌ مِّن فَوْقِهَا غُرَفٌ مَّبْنِيَّةٌ تَجْرِى مِن تَحْتِهَا ٱلْأَنْهَٰرُۖ وَعْدَ ٱللَّهِۖ لَا يُخْلِفُ ٱللَّهُ ٱلْمِيعَادَ

      But those who have feared their Lord - for them are chambers, above them chambers built high, beneath which rivers flow. [This is] the promise of Allah . Allah does not fail in [His] promise.

      Az-Zukhruf 43:71

      يُطَافُ عَلَيْهِم بِصِحَافٍ مِّن ذَهَبٍ وَأَكْوَابٍۖ وَفِيهَا مَا تَشْتَهِيهِ ٱلْأَنفُسُ وَتَلَذُّ ٱلْأَعْيُنُۖ وَأَنتُمْ فِيهَا خَٰلِدُونَ

      Circulated among them will be plates and vessels of gold. And therein is whatever the souls desire and [what] delights the eyes, and you will abide therein eternally.

      So be patient and persevere


      Comment


      • #4
        No, it doesn't mean Allah hates you. Look at the lives of the Prophets (as) whom Allah (swt) loved: Yusuf (as) was sold into slavery by his own brothers, then thrown in jail for a crime he didn't commit. Ibraheem's own father tried to kill him for his beliefs. Ayub was riddled with a debilitating disease, outcast by his community and then his children died. None of them thought Allah hated them even though they went through major calamities. Hardships are a test and pain is an expiation for sins meaning it leads to blessings. Remember to be grateful for what you still have and thank Allah (swt) for your blessings- don't ever take them for granted otherwise there could come a day when you lose what you have and then will look back on these days and say I was blessed with so much and yet I was still unhappy for something as relatively minor as not having a husband.

        Pray for whatever it is that you want and make an effort to find someone through reputable/respected channels and then leave the rest in Allah's hands as to whether someone suitable comes along or not. Maybe you'll meet 50 frogs before your prince turns up, after which you'd think the effort was all worth it cos' you found him in the end. Maybe you wont find him after all and are destined to be single to protect you from other fitnahs that can occur within marriage. Maybe you found him in the past but didn't realise it cos' you turned him down for something minor that one day you'll look back and say I should've considered him after all. The point is, we don't know but we have to trust that Allah (swt) knows better than us about such things.
        The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Muslim018 View Post
          I'm a single muslim woman in my late twenties who can't find a muslim husband. I come from a non religious muslim family, and they want me to get married and have kids, but I can't find a husband. We don't ask for others hand anymore, we find our own partners and I haven't found a potential husband yet. I'm about to give up. Almost everyone i know is married/about to, have kids etc. I'm happy for them, i wish everyone the best, i really do but it's hard to be happy for others when you aren't happy yourself. I really want to enjoy their happiness or be happy when they get married, have kids etc. but every time i attend their ceremonies/gatherings i get sad, because i'm scared that i will never find love/happiness. I hate feeling this way, i feel so bad. And i hate that people pity me. I've had problems my whole teen/adult life, everything has been difficult for me. Everything from getting a driving licence, to get an education, to get a job and to get a husband. I recently lost my job and I keep losing things/people, i've also lost a few friends and i keep failing at life. I don't know what to do anymore.

          Sometimes I feel that Allah hates me or punishes me for my past sins. I've sinned a lot. I had boyfriend (he was also a muslim) who abused me, also sexually. He pressured me to do things. I regret it and I feel bad about it. I apologised to Allah and asked him for help, but he doesn't answer my prayers. I feel lost, i don't know what to do anymore. I feel like giving up.

          Allah (swt) is testing you.

          I use to feel like that and only starting reading more into the faith recently. I'm a single mother and also find it difficult sometimes.

          Do not look at other people's lives in comparison to yours. Focus on yourself. It will happen when it is meant to happen and if Allah wills it.

          You mention you're in your late 20's, there is no deadline for when things like that should happen, so just remain faithful. Also, your past sins are between you and Allah, and He is the Most Merciful. Repent and keep away from sin, and those that will lead you to sin. Keep away from those that have turned their back on Allah.

          Everything will be ok xx

          Comment

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