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Sisters who work - Why do you do it instead of staying at home?

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  • #31
    Originally posted by _Ruby_ View Post

    Not a ‘sister’, but at least I fulfil the criteria of actually being a female and commenting...
    Yeah I know and you did it for free!!! well done you.

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by shay5 View Post

      Really? rather dumb if you don't discuss the role of the wife BEFORE marriage....how can you NOT know you're marrying a career woman...?? These things should be discussed before...
      You not come across any cases where a sister says she won't work and then later changes her mind once married and says she wants to work? Just like some brothers saying she can work and then once married saying she can't work.

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

        Yeah I know and you did it for free!!! well done you.
        Invoice is in the post

        Comment


        • #34
          Because life doesn't revolve around marriage or gearing up towards it. Knowing that I am a full human and have a soul I want to dispose of myself in whichever way makes me happy, without exceeding anything against Allah.

          I have the right to and wont marry someone who doesn't let me out and do my own thing.

          What I don't understand is why in certain ethnic communities telling women not to work is more prevalent than in others. This shows its more a cultural commitment to put heightened restrictions on women developing a career.

          Because then every Muslim culture would then discourage women from working if this was an Islamic law.
          وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

          And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


          أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

          Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


          Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

          Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

          Comment


          • #35
            An example of a woman working in the Sahaba's time:

            Abu Balj Yahya reported:

            رَأَيْتُ سَمْرَاءَ بِنْتَ نَهِيكٍ وَكَانَتْ قَدْ أَدْرَكَتِ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ عَلَيْهَا دِرْعٌ غَلِيظٌ وَخِمَارٌ غَلِيظٌ بِيَدِهَا سَوْطٌ تُؤَدِّبُ النَّاسَ وَتَأْمُرُ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَتَنْهَى عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ

            I saw Samra bint Nahik and she had met the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. She had on herself a thick corset and veil. In her hand was a whip which she used to discipline people, and she would enjoin good and forbid evil.

            Source: al-Mu'jam al-Kabīr 785, Grade: Hasan

            Just saying,. staying at home is something that some women enjoy and others don't, while other women prefer to work.
            وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

            And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


            أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

            Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


            Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

            Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

              half of them wont obey thats the issue
              they see it as oppressive and not fair
              and even some that know they have to obey and say they will when it comes to it they dont
              Half of women? Thats a big assumption tbh.

              A lot of men prefer women to work so that women can shoulder some of the household expenses.
              وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

              And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


              أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

              Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


              Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

              Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post

                Half of women? Thats a big assumption tbh.

                A lot of men prefer women to work so that women can shoulder some of the household expenses.
                i just meant it as an expression
                i dunno the actual number

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
                  An example of a woman working in the Sahaba's time:

                  Abu Balj Yahya reported:

                  رَأَيْتُ سَمْرَاءَ بِنْتَ نَهِيكٍ وَكَانَتْ قَدْ أَدْرَكَتِ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ عَلَيْهَا دِرْعٌ غَلِيظٌ وَخِمَارٌ غَلِيظٌ بِيَدِهَا سَوْطٌ تُؤَدِّبُ النَّاسَ وَتَأْمُرُ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَتَنْهَى عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ

                  I saw Samra bint Nahik and she had met the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. She had on herself a thick corset and veil. In her hand was a whip which she used to discipline people, and she would enjoin good and forbid evil.

                  Source: al-Mu'jam al-Kabīr 785, Grade: Hasan

                  Just saying,. staying at home is something that some women enjoy and others don't, while other women prefer to work.
                  this is a religious duty
                  no one said a women cant do religious jobs

                  we said career jobs
                  like banking for example

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
                    Because life doesn't revolve around marriage or gearing up towards it. Knowing that I am a full human and have a soul I want to dispose of myself in whichever way makes me happy, without exceeding anything against Allah.

                    I have the right to and wont marry someone who doesn't let me out and do my own thing.

                    What I don't understand is why in certain ethnic communities telling women not to work is more prevalent than in others. This shows its more a cultural commitment to put heightened restrictions on women developing a career.

                    Because then every Muslim culture would then discourage women from working if this was an Islamic law.
                    u seem to be making assumptions

                    no one said dont let her out
                    no one said she cant do anything
                    they said career women career jobs like them women who sacrifice family life and go for that managerial position

                    when brothers say feminism they dont mean those kuffar girls that rip their clothes and try to be like men
                    we mean girls who have traits or have been influenced by them and its always the same sisters on uf that get called out for it by different people
                    its not a coincidence theres a pattern and reason for it
                    and if u was to ask brothers im sure they would defo say 2 or 3 same names

                    dont ask btw
                    Last edited by Abu julaybeeb; 11-01-19, 09:46 PM.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

                      u seem to be making assumptions

                      no one said dont let her out
                      no one said she cant do anything
                      they said career women career jobs like them women who sacrifice family life and go for that managerial position

                      when brothers say feminism they dont mean those kuffar girls that rip their clothes and try to be like men
                      we mean girls who have traits or have been influenced by them and its always the same sisters on uf that get called out for it by different people
                      its not a coincidence theres a pattern and reason for it
                      and if u was to ask brothers im sure they would defo say 2 or 3 same names

                      dont ask btw
                      What you need to learn from threads like this is what is not said. Check out what it's like in the real world. That's all you need to look at.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post

                        Half of women? Thats a big assumption tbh.

                        A lot of men prefer women to work so that women can shoulder some of the household expenses.
                        Those pesky men!

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

                          this is a religious duty
                          no one said a women cant do religious jobs

                          we said career jobs
                          like banking for example
                          Is the issue here being outside or the nature of the jobs? If its the nature of the jobs I don't understand why men should do it too. Banking is probably haram cos of interest/riba.
                          وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                          And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                          أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                          Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


                          Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

                          Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by Magic. View Post

                            Why aren't sisters responding?


                            I can think of a few reasons:

                            - Some of the brothers here are bullies and are deliberately maintaining an atmosphere of intimidation here that has made many of the old timer sisters feel unwelcome, to the point that over the years, several have since either left the forum or avoid several forum sections altogether. If you'd like an example of some of the snarky, nasty mean spirited stench of toxicity then zizou's posts would provide plenty of samples of what I'm referring to (he's not the only culprit, though he's one of the worst)

                            - Sisters' views to a significant extent get dismissed and disregarded anyway a lot of the time and there isn't much mutual respect- so many sisters would consider it pointless to respond especially when the moment a woman raises her head above the parapet to respond, she gets shot down in flames as if she'd spat at everyone's mum. Just look at the hostile response Ruby got on a thread about women working just because she's a non Muslim. Did anyone respond to the brothers so rudely for jumping into a thread that wasn't about them either?

                            - The few times when a sister does try to speak up about a women's issue on the forum, she'll often be the lone voice while a whole bunch of brothers will gang up on her and harass her for not succumbing to whatever they're trying to push until she either shuts up and gives up on arguing or else answers back harshly and becomes more confrontational to stand up for herself at which point she'll get labelled "hysterical", "feminazi" or dismissed in some other way.

                            These are the main reasons though there are others. I hope other sisters will respond with answers to your question as well inshaAllah.
                            The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Originally posted by neelu View Post

                              I can think of a few reasons:

                              - Some of the brothers here are bullies and are deliberately maintaining an atmosphere of intimidation here that has made many of the old timer sisters feel unwelcome, to the point that over the years, several have since either left the forum or avoid several forum sections altogether. If you'd like an example of some of the snarky, nasty mean spirited stench of toxicity then zizou's posts would provide plenty of samples of what I'm referring to (he's not the only culprit, though he's one of the worst)

                              - Sisters' views to a significant extent get dismissed and disregarded anyway a lot of the time and there isn't much mutual respect- so many sisters would consider it pointless to respond especially when the moment a woman raises her head above the parapet to respond, she gets shot down in flames as if she'd spat at everyone's mum. Just look at the hostile response Ruby got on a thread about women working just because she's a non Muslim. Did anyone respond to the brothers so rudely for jumping into a thread that wasn't about them either?

                              - The few times when a sister does try to speak up about a women's issue on the forum, she'll often be the lone voice while a whole bunch of brothers will gang up on her and harass her for not succumbing to whatever they're trying to push until she either shuts up and gives up on arguing or else answers back harshly and becomes more confrontational to stand up for herself at which point she'll get labelled "hysterical", "feminazi" or dismissed in some other way.

                              These are the main reasons though there are others. I hope other sisters will respond with answers to your question as well inshaAllah.
                              So...

                              1. Men's fault
                              2. Men's fault
                              3. Men's fault

                              Go it.
                              "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post

                                Is the issue here being outside or the nature of the jobs? If its the nature of the jobs I don't understand why men should do it too. Banking is probably haram cos of interest/riba.
                                nature of the job

                                banking wad a bad example of course its haram
                                for both

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