Reaction to Heartbreak

[BY13]

Assalaamualaikum warahmatullah

I’m in a bad spot right now brothers and sisters. I’ll try to make a long story short inshallah

Alhumdulillah I accept Islam nearly three years ago, and the past few years I’ve been living in a Latin American country. Last year a wonderful girl I had known here accepted Islam and we agreed to marry. For various reasons, though, we had to wait.

The past year was great. Though we talked often, we kept physical distance and guarded our chasity. Then things changed. In a few words, she met someone else, repeatedly lied to me about the nature of their relationship, made it as if I was crazy for not trusting her, then ultimately just stopped talking to me and entered into a romantic relationship with the other guy.

Needless to say, I’m hurting pretty bad right now. She really was an incredibly beautiful person and what she’s done totally just blindsided me. I understand now that I actually loved her too much, putting her in a place in my heart where only Allah should be.

I’m done with her. But the problem now is that this pain I’m feeling has allowed Shaytan to take hold of me. I’ve been a good Muslim. Of course, I have flaws and make mistakes, but I’ve been constant in my prayer, studying my deen, always giving charity and getting involved in the community. Alhumdulillah I’m well-known here for my upright character.

All this considering I used to be a typical American guy: partying, drugs/alcohol, shameless sexual relationships.

I’ve guarded my chastity for a while now, all while facing constant temptation (I’m a good looking white guy and the women in this country go crazy for that. If I don’t lower my gaze I’ll catch beautiful women staring and smiling at me throughout the day).

Here’s the real problem. Now that I’m feeling my heart is in pieces and my trust in people shattered, I can’t find the strength to stop myself from wanting to go out, get drunk and bring home a beautiful woman.

I hope Allah will forgive me. I hope He will save me. I believe in Him now more than ever. But at the moment Shaytan has a hold of me and I’m afraid of what I’m going to do.

Please make dua for me.

Assalaamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

[Abu julaybeeb]

No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allaah’s decree.

If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from it you cannot flee-
Umar ibn khatab radi allahu anhu

this wasnt meant to be
i know its hard but try not be down akhi
say alhamdullilah
Allah protected you from someone who may have been unfaithful
everything happens for a reason
Allah stopped this for your own good

this world is temporary
we are here to worship Allah and please him and in sha Allah get jannah
all the triald you go through in life
all the pain and even this heart ache
its a test from Allah
and your sins will be washed away in sha Allah
and in sha Allah a good women will come to you in this world and the next

a righteous sister
but you have to be a righteous brother
cant be sinning and expecting a good sister
and if you want the hoor al ayn in jannah you cant be doing zina
fear Allah and dont sin
itl bring nothing but pain
temporary pleasure and permanent pain
in this world and the next
u wont gain no satisfaction from drinks or promiscuity
itl just leave you even more void feeling guilty dirty and bad after the deeds are done
turn to Allah
cry to Allah
pray salah make dua read quran
and talk to Allah


Al-'Ankabut 29:2

أَحَسِبَ ٱلنَّاسُ أَن يُتْرَكُوٓا أَن يَقُولُوٓا ءَامَنَّا وَهُمْ لَا يُفْتَنُونَ

Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried? Ash-Sharh 94:6

إِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease As-Saffat 37:42

فَوَٰكِهُۖ وَهُم مُّكْرَمُونَ

Fruits; and they will be honored

patience and jannah is yours

As-Saffat 37:41

أُولَٰٓئِكَ لَهُمْ رِزْقٌ مَّعْلُومٌ

Those will have a provision determined -


As-Saffat 37:44

عَلَىٰ سُرُرٍ مُّتَقَٰبِلِينَ

On thrones facing one another.

As-Saffat 37:45

يُطَافُ عَلَيْهِم بِكَأْسٍ مِّن مَّعِينٍۭ

There will be circulated among them a cup [of wine] from a flowing spring,

As-Saffat 37:46

بَيْضَآءَ لَذَّةٍ لِّلشَّٰرِبِينَ

White and delicious to the drinkers;
As-Saffat 37:47

لَا فِيهَا غَوْلٌ وَلَا هُمْ عَنْهَا يُنزَفُونَ

No bad effect is there in it, nor from it will they be intoxicated.
As-Saffat 37:48

وَعِندَهُمْ قَٰصِرَٰتُ ٱلطَّرْفِ عِينٌ

And with them will be women limiting [their] glances, with large, [beautiful] eyes,

Az-Zumar 39:20

لَٰكِنِ ٱلَّذِينَ ٱتَّقَوْا رَبَّهُمْ لَهُمْ غُرَفٌ مِّن فَوْقِهَا غُرَفٌ مَّبْنِيَّةٌ تَجْرِى مِن تَحْتِهَا ٱلْأَنْهَٰرُۖ وَعْدَ ٱللَّهِۖ لَا يُخْلِفُ ٱللَّهُ ٱلْمِيعَادَ

But those who have feared their Lord - for them are chambers, above them chambers built high, beneath which rivers flow. [This is] the promise of Allah . Allah does not fail in [His] promise.

Az-Zukhruf 43:71

يُطَافُ عَلَيْهِم بِصِحَافٍ مِّن ذَهَبٍ وَأَكْوَابٍۖ وَفِيهَا مَا تَشْتَهِيهِ ٱلْأَنفُسُ وَتَلَذُّ ٱلْأَعْيُنُۖ وَأَنتُمْ فِيهَا خَٰلِدُونَ

Circulated among them will be plates and vessels of gold. And therein is whatever the souls desire and [what] delights the eyes, and you will abide therein eternally.

So be patient and persevere

[BY13]

Thank you for your encouragement and advice brother. I trust Allah will guide me through.

[Abu julaybeeb]

Thank you for your encouragement and advice brother. I trust Allah will guide me through.

in sha Allah ta ala

[islamlife00]

Wa 'alaykumussalaam Brother

I'd like to share some hadith about fasting with you. InshaaAllah will help.


It was narrated that Muadh bin Jabal said:
"The Messenger of Allah said: 'Fasting is a shield." (Sunan An-Nasa'i)

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "(Allah said), 'Every good deed of Adam's son is for him except fasting; it is for Me. and I shall reward (the fasting person) for it.' Verily, the smell of the mouth of a fasting person is better to Allah than the smell of musk." (Sahih al Bukhari)

Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr:
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to me, "The most beloved fasting to Allah was the fasting of (the Prophet) David who used to fast on alternate days. And the most beloved prayer to Allah was the prayer of David who used to sleep for (the first) half of the night and pray for 1/3 of it and (again) sleep for a sixth of it." (Sahih al Bukhari)

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Allah said: The Fast is for Me and I will give the reward for it, as he (the one who observes the fast) leaves his sexual desire, food and drink for My Sake. Fasting is a screen (from Hell) and there are two pleasures for a fasting person, one at the time of breaking his fast, and the other at the time when he will meet his Lord. And the smell of the mouth of a fasting person is better in Allah's Sight than the smell of musk." (Sahih al Bukhari)

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
“There are three whose supplication is not rejected: The fasting person when he breaks his fast, the just leader, and the supplication of the oppressed person; Allah raises it up above the clouds and opens the gates of heaven to it. And the Lord says: ‘By My might, I shall surely aid you, even if it should be after a while.’” (Jami'at-Tirmidhi)

[Indefinable]

It's easy to fall into sins, when life doesn't go the way we planned it. But you must remember to have complete and utter reliance in Almighty Allaah. There is wisdom behind every trial.

At least you are honest about what you would "like" to do, but remember that will be fleeting pleasure. Getting drunk and fornicating are not the actions of a righteous Muslim. Imagine if you die in such a state?

A broken heart is not justification for sinning. You may be weak and vulnerable (right now) but use that to draw closer to Allaah azza wa jal.

[BY13]

Wa 'alaykumussalaam Brother

I'd like to share some hadith about fasting with you. InshaaAllah will help.


It was narrated that Muadh bin Jabal said:
"The Messenger of Allah said: 'Fasting is a shield." (Sunan An-Nasa'i)

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "(Allah said), 'Every good deed of Adam's son is for him except fasting; it is for Me. and I shall reward (the fasting person) for it.' Verily, the smell of the mouth of a fasting person is better to Allah than the smell of musk." (Sahih al Bukhari)

Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr:
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to me, "The most beloved fasting to Allah was the fasting of (the Prophet) David who used to fast on alternate days. And the most beloved prayer to Allah was the prayer of David who used to sleep for (the first) half of the night and pray for 1/3 of it and (again) sleep for a sixth of it." (Sahih al Bukhari)

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Allah said: The Fast is for Me and I will give the reward for it, as he (the one who observes the fast) leaves his sexual desire, food and drink for My Sake. Fasting is a screen (from Hell) and there are two pleasures for a fasting person, one at the time of breaking his fast, and the other at the time when he will meet his Lord. And the smell of the mouth of a fasting person is better in Allah's Sight than the smell of musk." (Sahih al Bukhari)

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
“There are three whose supplication is not rejected: The fasting person when he breaks his fast, the just leader, and the supplication of the oppressed person; Allah raises it up above the clouds and opens the gates of heaven to it. And the Lord says: ‘By My might, I shall surely aid you, even if it should be after a while.’” (Jami'at-Tirmidhi)

Thank you brother. You’re right, I need to fast.

[BY13]

It's easy to fall into sins, when life doesn't go the way we planned it. But you must remember to have complete and utter reliance in Almighty Allaah. There is wisdom behind every trial.

At least you are honest about what you would "like" to do, but remember that will be fleeting pleasure. Getting drunk and fornicating are not the actions of a righteous Muslim. Imagine if you die in such a state?

A broken heart is not justification for sinning. You may be weak and vulnerable (right now) but use that to draw closer to Allaah azza wa jal.

Insha Allah I’ll find the strength to stay straight. I know that stuff is no good for me and will only eat me up inside. Thank you for the help. Alhumdulillah for the digital ummah.

[Abu julaybeeb]

stick around maybe it will benefit

[Ya'sin]

Very sorry you are going through this

I understand it is very hard and falling into sins is very easy for us Muslims, whatever that sin maybe

Try to keep good company

The last thing you want is to sleep with a slapper/slut (std other consequences), become an alcoholic, take drugs etc and the rest of the scummyniess this messed up world has to offer

And all this because of that one silly girl

Forget her, waste of time all these heartache, seriously, if we could just see the bigger picture we'd think how could I obsess over one girl (or guy) who led me stray, she was not worth a penny

No good woman with self respect will do that

Don't cry for a lost cause


You have tried your best to prevent yourself from going back to that old lifestyle that did you no good. Don't let evil whispers delude you.

For the sake of Allah and for your own peace, keep your dignity and shame.

You can easily be like the shameless, they can do what they want as our beloved propher pbuh said. Still they want more to the point they become lower than animals.

May Allah swt guide us in this day and age and protect us from displeasing him. Ameen


What filthy age we live in, within a year I have seen things I would never would have imagined to have within our own communities.

[islamlife00]

:

Thank you brother. You’re right, I need to fast.

I am a sister. Revert as well. I don't post often, but I try to be of help somewhat to fellow reverts whenever I can.

Don't be distracted by this dunya. Its joy is an illusion, its sorrow is too. All of us come from Him and we all will return to Him.

Jannah is the true success.

3:142 Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while Allah has not yet made evident those of you who fight in His cause and made evident those who are steadfast?

59:20 Not equal are the companions of the Fire and the companions of Paradise. The companions of Paradise are the attainers [of success]


On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Allah said: I have prepared for My righteous servants what no eye has seen and no ear has heard, not has it occurred to human heart. (Sahih al-Bukhari, Muslim, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah)


On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
When Allah created Paradise and Hell-fire, He sent Jibreel to Paradise, saying: Look at it and at what I have prepared therein for its inhabitants.
The Prophet (pbuh) said: So Jibreel came to it and looked at it and at what Allah had prepared therein for its inhabitants.
The Prophet (pbuh) said: So he returned to Him and said: By your glory, no one hears of it without entering it.
So He ordered that it be encompassed by forms of hardship, and He said: Return to it and look at what I have prepared therein for its inhabitants.
The Prophet (pbuh) said: So Jibreel returned to it and found that it was encompassed by forms of hardship (undesirable things).
Then he returned to Him and said: By Your glory, I fear that no one will enter it.
Allah said: Go to Hell-fire and look at it and what I have prepared therein for its inhabitants, and Jibreel found that it was in layers, one above the other.
Then he returned to Him and said: By Your glory, no one who hears of it will enter it.
So He ordered that it be encompassed by lusts (desirable things). Then He said: Return to it. And Jibreel returned to it and said: By Your glory, I am frightened that no one will escape from entering it.
(Jami’at- Tirmidhi, Sunan Abu Dawud and an-Nasa’i).


When you break fast, make dua. It's one of the times Allah accepts dua. InshaaAllah your dua will be granted.

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:
The supplication of one of you is granted if he does not grow impatient and say- I supplicated my Lord but it was not granted. (Sahih Muslim)

Jabir narrated that :
the Messenger of Allah said: “There is none who utters a supplication, except that Allah gives him what he asked, or prevents evil from him that is equal to it – as long as he does not supplicate for something evil, or the cutting of ties of the womb.” (Jami'at-Tirmidhi)

[BY13]

Truth

[BY13]

I appreciate all the support. Alhumdulillah I’ve made it through this weekend without doing anything crazy. I feel better, calmer. Ready for moving on toward whatever better Allah has planned for me! Insha Allah

Thanks again.