Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Career Seeking Men

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Ya'sin
    replied
    I read an article about career minded women in Mongolia

    They're struggling to get married because the men aren't educated or earning enough money in a professional job

    It started off with parents sending their daughters off to education because they thought the girls would do a better job which they have but at the expense of remaining single and unable to find someone with a similar background.

    The men were left behind doing the dirty, muddy jobs at the farms which they were better suited for

    Enough to feed the family

    The educated girls with a career are now desperate to settle down, one 37 year old says she doesn't care if he doesn't have a good job or money, as long as he is caring and kind

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    As long as you have your career, you'll get your status and no one will have anything to say about you.

    If you don't have a career then you will bashed for it and seen as a loser.

    This is common with Muslims. Whether man or woman, you're not worthy of respect or acknowledgement if you aren't earning money, preferably in a professional environment.

    The more 'wow' your job is, the more your status goes up so if you are a doctor you're the higesht of them all.

    ​​​​​​This is the social hierarchy.

    Some people chase careers because it gives them fulfilment and makes their position in society firm. They can feel better about themselves and look down on those who simply earn for a living or those who have 'nothing' aka money or a career to make them important enough.

    Leave a comment:


  • Indefinable
    replied
    Originally posted by samin62 View Post
    I dont necessarily think there is anything wrong with the chase. Men generally like to compete and one uo each other.

    I think more and more women realizing that isnt a good lifestyle to develop a family. Women generally are more aggreeable and isnt as competitive. The ones that chase almost always regret it as they get older
    Women can be difficult to work with.

    Leave a comment:


  • Indefinable
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post

    It's not limited to that. A more concerning attitude would be where one seeks 'status' via a career.
    Let's take teaching as an example:

    You have the NQT teacher, who is a newbie.

    Then you have KS1 team leader. Then medium management, then senior management.

    Each year - some teachers get a bonus, if they've done extra work.

    Then you have to get the extra qualifications alongside the more senior positions.

    It's more of a "well, why not?" rather than, "career chasing".

    Why is - wanting to be recognised for your qualifications/experience - whereby a person receives "status", such a bad thing?

    Leave a comment:


  • samin62
    replied
    I dont necessarily think there is anything wrong with the chase. Men generally like to compete and one uo each other.

    I think more and more women realizing that isnt a good lifestyle to develop a family. Women generally are more aggreeable and isnt as competitive. The ones that chase almost always regret it as they get older

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu 'Abdullaah
    replied
    Originally posted by علي View Post
    ...I still say I'm not against careers though, really depends on the person's situation. But yeah a career isn't sunshine and rainbows as many may believe. At least not in the average case, some people have careers they love, but again, probably not the majority.
    It has to be said that not all careers carry such risks unless you want them to. There are plenty ways of earning a living but they're usually called 'jobs' instead of 'careers' and don't look all that impressive on a CV.

    Leave a comment:


  • علي
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post

    This is why we warn women from going down this path but we praise and celebrate men for doing the same. Again, we're not talking about earning a living.
    With women it can definitely be potentially worse. Let's say boss decided she needs to move to some far off corner of the land for some project, her family has to be whisked off to that end now (assuming marriage). Doubt husband is gonna appreciate that too much, depending on the situation. In patriarchal societies (which ours typically are), it would be easier for the man to pull something like this off. Still though, wife may not like the sojourn wherever they're going to, or kids. Friends, family, ties, are potentially at risk.

    I still say I'm not against careers though, really depends on the person's situation. But yeah a career isn't sunshine and rainbows as many may believe. At least not in the average case, some people have careers they love, but again, probably not the majority.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu 'Abdullaah
    replied
    Originally posted by علي View Post

    I did a work sociology course in University, some random requirement (enjoyed it more than any other course at university though), and yeah people degrade themselves all sorts of ways to get to the next level in their careers sometimes. Not saying a career is necessarily bad, but it does often tie one to specific places for years on end, often with little of their own choice in the matter. They must also conform and compromise in many aspects of their lives in order to maintain the years long relationship, for fear of shattering what they've built. It's a sort of prison really, though I suppose under the right circumstances it can still be pleasant. But those circumstances are probably not going to be available to all.
    This is why we warn women from going down this path but we praise and celebrate men for doing the same. Again, we're not talking about earning a living.

    Leave a comment:


  • علي
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post

    It's not about working but 'career building' where your status or worth in society is defined by your career. Key point: We're talking about the compromises that are made in order to get to the next level in your career.
    I did a work sociology course in University, some random requirement (enjoyed it more than any other course at university though), and yeah people degrade themselves all sorts of ways to get to the next level in their careers sometimes. Not saying a career is necessarily bad, but it does often tie one to specific places for years on end, often with little of their own choice in the matter. They must also conform and compromise in many aspects of their lives in order to maintain the years long relationship, for fear of shattering what they've built. It's a sort of prison really, though I suppose under the right circumstances it can still be pleasant. But those circumstances are probably not going to be available to all.

    Leave a comment:


  • Mintchocchip
    replied
    Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

    What sort of work is it where this can happen?
    Taxi driver.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu 'Abdullaah
    replied
    Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

    What sort of work is it where this can happen?
    Chicken & Chips

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu 'Abdullaah
    replied
    Originally posted by Gingerbeardman View Post

    Yeah kinda... but no actually I am gonna disagree on this one.

    Look, yes men are somewhat forced (or feel they are anyway) by society to work hard not smart and sometimes just to work hard, because they're not smart because men are the providers, they need to do this and if they don't they are seen as lazy and don't get a wife, or if they do, she might not be that great.

    Stinks, but there it is. Take your choice boys.

    Women don't have these pressures, or at least not as much. They're got different pressures.

    So it's not the same. Similiar but not the same and men do need to try, at least try. Or else you're a waste of space and you don't deserve to get a wife and kids.
    It's not about working but 'career building' where your status or worth in society is defined by your career. Key point: We're talking about the compromises that are made in order to get to the next level in your career.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu 'Abdullaah
    replied
    Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post

    Hmmm, wouldn't that mostly go towards kids though? With their parents telling them to either be a doctor, engineer or a disgrace?

    A lot of parents came into the country with nothing, so they want their kids to chase after status so they can feel comfortable and not have to struggle as hard as them. But yea, others just want the status of having a child doctor/engineer.
    There's one of the roots of the problem right there. Muslims migrated en masse to non-Muslim lands and chasing a career is an extension of that.

    Leave a comment:


  • zi-zizou
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post

    As in people defining themselves by their career and using it as a status in society. The idea of career = freedom, independence, and success.

    Quite different from simply earning a living.
    What sort of work is it where this can happen?

    Leave a comment:


  • Gingerbeardman
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post
    The battle for 'equality' is about women being more like men. We always talk about the pitfalls of 'career-minded' women but I believe this is because men have already paved the way.

    Who is to blame? Men, for setting up and promoting the idea of chasing the dunya, or women for copying them...

    It's a lizard-hole.
    Yeah kinda... but no actually I am gonna disagree on this one.

    Look, yes men are somewhat forced (or feel they are anyway) by society to work hard not smart and sometimes just to work hard, because they're not smart because men are the providers, they need to do this and if they don't they are seen as lazy and don't get a wife, or if they do, she might not be that great.

    Stinks, but there it is. Take your choice boys.

    Women don't have these pressures, or at least not as much. They're got different pressures.

    So it's not the same. Similiar but not the same and men do need to try, at least try. Or else you're a waste of space and you don't deserve to get a wife and kids.

    Leave a comment:

Working...
X