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  • Trenace
    started a topic My imans battered

    My imans battered

    Salaam, hope everyone's doing well.
    I'm in a serious situation.
    I used to be a fun loving, vibrant person with mild anxiety. I then took an antidperessant (entirely my choice) because the anxiety was affecting my life to a large degree. I then reacted pretty badly to the drug over the course of a year so I stopped taking it. That was last year in February. Since then I've developed serious mental and physical health problems. (not life threatening) But everyday I wish it would kill me. Without going into details (as I've already posted elsewhere on the site) everyday now is a different kind of mental and physical torture. At first I thought it a blessing as I began to pray and still continue to pray and ask forgiveness. But now my imans becoming affected to the point where lm battling all day everyday to just stay alive. I have a support system from family but for 9 months now I'm just existing in a manner I wouldn't wish on anybody. It really is the worst kind of torture. I've rambled on again but my question is, how do i keep faith? Im not able to do anything for anyone and don't really feel any emotion except extreme anxiety and depression (both created by the drug)

  • SmartOne
    replied
    By the name of God, the name with it comes no harm, and there is no power or will except by God, the Exalted, the Great.

    Inshallah, just say by the name of God as much as possible.

    You will overcome all things and you will inshallah find exactly what it is.

    Leave a comment:


  • Trenace
    replied
    Salaams brother and thank you. I've been making duaa excessively and have been for a long while and will continue to do so. I do duaa at all the times that duaa may be accepted and tahajjud when I'm not having a bad night. Days are either bad or extremely bad right now and affect me to a massive degree now when praying, but I'll continue to make duaa for everything. Just trying to hold on

    Leave a comment:


  • Duas_Revival
    replied
    Originally posted by Trenace View Post
    Salaam, hope everyone's doing well.
    I've rambled on again but my question is, how do i keep faith? Im not able to do anything for anyone and don't really feel any emotion except extreme anxiety and depression (both created by the drug)
    Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

    Do you know the power of Dua? Dua is a weapon of a believer!

    Do you know one of the most common Dua the Messenger of Allah Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) made?

    It is dua to be steadfast on the Deen - Eman goes up and down, this Dua we are asking the controller of hearts to keep us on the Straight Path!




    Arabic to English: Ya Muqallibal-qulub, sabbit qalbi 'ala dinik

    Meaning: O Changer of the Hearts! Strengthen my heart upon Your Religion.

    Learn More: https://www.duasrevival.com/supplica...st-in-religion


    Please remember us in your Duas.

    Jazakallahu Khair,
    DR

    Leave a comment:


  • SmartOne
    replied
    Salam Sister,

    Find that sword of God/Name of God with you, you need to pull it out and attack the sorcery and evil with it.

    When you say "by the name of God", try to find it and hold on to it, and empower yourself by it for he is ever with you.

    I don't say this without experience. I was in the height of despair and depression at a certain point of my life, you need to hold on to the name of God.

    What I mean by the name that with it nothing can harm, is not letters, but a living pointer to God that points to him and calls to him and connects us to him.



    In the ocean of despair and sadness, it will teach hope and courage. You are to find that name of God that we must all hold on to.

    Leave a comment:


  • Trenace
    replied
    Originally posted by ThisIsJannah View Post

    Brother I totally understand your situation because I took antidepressant too and since then I had many problems including the ones you told us about. Taking antidepressant was the worst decision I ever took because it destroyed me. After I took that medication I was in constant state of fear and anxiety, also digestive problems, weight loss, loss of self-esteem and confidence, skin disorder and much much more. I was feeling down and I was very young then, I didn't know any better so I went to my doctor I told him about it, he straightway gave me that medication, those days I didn't know how bad antidepressant was. I am little bit better now but problems I had from that medication still there, I think its permanently damages you. I am not a health professional so I am not giving out medical advise but taking this medication my life became upside down. Brother I will make dua for you and hope you recover very soon.
    Salaam sister finally someone who understands. Is there any advice you can give me at all? I'm living in a constant nightmare at the moment feel as though I'm clinging to hope every hour. How bad were you and how did you improve? The effects are so strong that I don't know if I'll ever recover enough to be able to function normally.

    Leave a comment:


  • ThisIsJannah
    replied
    Originally posted by Trenace View Post

    ​​​​​​You seem to be downplaying the situation so I'll explain. Before meds I just had mild anxiety but was very cheerful and full of life and was very fit and healthy alhamdulillah
    The medication has caused me:
    Intense anxiety and fear upon waking every time I drift off.
    Extreme ocd suicidal thoughts non stop
    Severe depression
    Bouts of uncontrollable rage
    Agitation and restlessness for hours a day
    Confusion
    Memory loss
    Inability to think clearly
    Severe paranoia
    Uncontrollable crying spells lasting for days
    Stomach bloating all the time and burping
    Diarrhea constipation bleeding
    Food intolerances (to seemingly all foods)
    Thinning of stomach lining
    Weight loss of three stones and still dropping
    Fluctuating apetite
    Malabsorption of nutrients
    Breathlessness
    Insomnia most nights
    Extreme fatigue
    Bone nerve pain
    Blurred vision
    Facial twitches
    Dry skin rashes
    Severe sexual dysfunction
    Migraines
    Teeth clenching
    Nightmares every time I sleep
    There's more but I feel like forget until the symptoms crops up. I don't want to committ suicide at all and have no intention of doing so. I'm just being beat down with symptoms daily and I've read others accounts of withdrawal from these medications causing suicidal thoughts that are almost impossible to stop. I just need to know what one should do in situations such as these. If anything improves I'll be straight back at the gym and eating to feel better for sure. But I've been trying for 18 months and I can't seem to do anything except wait and hope for a miraculous improvement. It's not about being my own worst enemy at all and if you saw my state in person you'd be shocked brother. I've tried sooo many things I just don't know what to do


    ​​
    Brother I totally understand your situation because I took antidepressant too and since then I had many problems including the ones you told us about. Taking antidepressant was the worst decision I ever took because it destroyed me. After I took that medication I was in constant state of fear and anxiety, also digestive problems, weight loss, loss of self-esteem and confidence, skin disorder and much much more. I was feeling down and I was very young then, I didn't know any better so I went to my doctor I told him about it, he straightway gave me that medication, those days I didn't know how bad antidepressant was. I am little bit better now but problems I had from that medication still there. I am not a health professional so I am not giving out medical advise but after taking this medication my life became upside down. Brother I will make dua for you and hope you recover very soon.
    Last edited by ThisIsJannah; 03-11-18, 10:35 AM. Reason: spelling mistakes

    Leave a comment:


  • Trenace
    replied
    Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
    Brother, read the fourth post of this thread, about being tested:

    https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/fa...y-of-the-heart
    Salaam and thank you sister. This is the kind of advice I was looking for as the situation is completly out of control. I just need a way to carry myself through the hardship. Had no idea at all that I would be tested in such a way. It's been very hard to keep faith when I'm losing control of my mind and senses.

    Leave a comment:


  • LailaTheMuslim
    replied
    Brother, read the fourth post of this thread, about being tested:

    https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/fa...y-of-the-heart

    Leave a comment:


  • LailaTheMuslim
    replied
    Assalaamu alaikum,

    Brother, have you tried saying istighfar a lot.

    When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was ill he would say 'subhanAllahi wa bihamdihi' and followed it with 'Astaghfirullaha wa atoobu ilayhi'.

    I say that a lot and it makes me feel emotionally and mentally better. Try saying both 100 times together everyday, challenge yourself, brother.

    I have no clue how to be patient with mental illness as it can be confusing to deal with, but you have a physical condition which is more tangible to target with patience.

    So every time you feel unwell, say the bolded bit:

    "Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and grant him peace) saying, "When a person suffers from a calamity and utters: `Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji`un. Allahumma ujurni fi musibati, wakhluf li khairan minha (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return. O Allah! Compensate me in my affliction, recompense my loss and give me something better in exchange for it), then Allah surely compensates him with reward and better substitute." Umm Salamah (ra) said: When Abu Salamah (ra) died, I repeated the same supplication as the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and grant him peace) had commanded me (to do), so Allah bestowed upon me a better substitute than him [Muslim].

    As the hadith states, Allah will compensate you with a reward and better substitute.

    I have seen this dua change my life, it will with yours too, in sha Allah.

    Leave a comment:


  • Trenace
    replied
    Originally posted by dan40123 View Post
    Salam, if the medicine you are taking is not helping, but making things worse, you should seek help from a doctor to change it for something better. I have had similar experience with some kinds of medicine, but when i told my doctor, she understood and some of them she removed, some changed. I do not have a depression but i have other mental ilness. And seek help from Allah. If you are a brother, you can send a message to me.
    Salaam How do i send you a message? Other than on this post brother

    Leave a comment:


  • Trenace
    replied
    Originally posted by R1rider View Post
    wasalaam

    Bad things happen! accept the fact learn from it get stronger and move on. Is there anything threatening your life right now? you are your own worst enemy. You will need to recover from the checmical instability the drug has caused. Deep body cleanse for a few weeks. develop a normal routine of excersize. surround yourself with good people. spend your time looking at things which make you laugh. laughter is a key factor towards recovery. think positive.

    In regards to iman, our heart is a pendulam clock hand it goes back and forth. you are surfing the dark side, get out of there! having a chance to live is an opportunity. Get well brother!
    ​​​​​​You seem to be downplaying the situation so I'll explain. Before meds I just had mild anxiety but was very cheerful and full of life and was very fit and healthy alhamdulillah
    The medication has caused me:
    Intense anxiety and fear upon waking every time I drift off.
    Extreme ocd suicidal thoughts non stop
    Severe depression
    Bouts of uncontrollable rage
    Agitation and restlessness for hours a day
    Confusion
    Memory loss
    Inability to think clearly
    Severe paranoia
    Uncontrollable crying spells lasting for days
    Stomach bloating all the time and burping
    Diarrhea constipation bleeding
    Food intolerances (to seemingly all foods)
    Thinning of stomach lining
    Weight loss of three stones and still dropping
    Fluctuating apetite
    Malabsorption of nutrients
    Breathlessness
    Insomnia most nights
    Extreme fatigue
    Bone nerve pain
    Blurred vision
    Facial twitches
    Dry skin rashes
    Severe sexual dysfunction
    Migraines
    Teeth clenching
    Nightmares every time I sleep
    There's more but I feel like forget until the symptoms crops up. I don't want to committ suicide at all and have no intention of doing so. I'm just being beat down with symptoms daily and I've read others accounts of withdrawal from these medications causing suicidal thoughts that are almost impossible to stop. I just need to know what one should do in situations such as these. If anything improves I'll be straight back at the gym and eating to feel better for sure. But I've been trying for 18 months and I can't seem to do anything except wait and hope for a miraculous improvement. It's not about being my own worst enemy at all and if you saw my state in person you'd be shocked brother. I've tried sooo many things I just don't know what to do


    ​​

    Leave a comment:


  • R1rider
    replied
    wasalaam

    Bad things happen! accept the fact learn from it get stronger and move on. Is there anything threatening your life right now? you are your own worst enemy. You will need to recover from the checmical instability the drug has caused. Deep body cleanse for a few weeks. develop a normal routine of excersize. surround yourself with good people. spend your time looking at things which make you laugh. laughter is a key factor towards recovery. think positive.

    In regards to iman, our heart is a pendulam clock hand it goes back and forth. you are surfing the dark side, get out of there! having a chance to live is an opportunity. Get well brother!

    Leave a comment:


  • dan40123
    replied
    Salam, if the medicine you are taking is not helping, but making things worse, you should seek help from a doctor to change it for something better. I have had similar experience with some kinds of medicine, but when i told my doctor, she understood and some of them she removed, some changed. I do not have a depression but i have other mental ilness. And seek help from Allah. If you are a brother, you can send a message to me.

    Leave a comment:

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