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Why are Muslim Men Lazy?

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  • Janna90
    started a topic Why are Muslim Men Lazy?

    Why are Muslim Men Lazy?

    Assalamu alaikoum,

    Why is it in today's society most Muslim men are getting lazier to financially provide for their families. Am not generalizing, but most Muslim men seem to have forgotten what their role is. I have only come across such a small number of men who actually have the correct islamic mindset when pursuing marriage. Alot of the time, men spend so much time criticizing independent women who work. But when it comes to looking for marriage they want you to actually work and support yourself. And if you don't work they criticize you, or undermine your choices. As if your less worthy just because you dont work. Bear in mind just because a sister doesn't work it doesn't mean she does nothing. There's so much that we do to contribute to our home and society. But it seems men overlook those qualities because there too busy thinking about money. And they want you to have your own because providing for you is such a hassle. I don't see the point of marriage if the people I keep meeting have this mentality. Or maybe am seeking something that doesn't exist. Its such a turn off when men dont act like Men. Am so put off by Muslim men, in today's society there expecting alot from you but have nothing to offer in return. Even the most basic duty for them to provide, they wont do. What is the point of marriage then. I do hope that this might be my experiences and not what all muslim men are like. But time and time again this is all I hear. No wonder alot of women are becoming independent and have to work because the men are becoming lazy. We are not going to sit around and wait for the men to provide, and when we do start doing things for ourselves and we develop goals and ambitions. All of a sudden were too much and men are intimidated because there too busy worrying about whether they can control us.

    I guess my question is why are muslim men becoming so lazy and losing the Islamic mindset? Am so put off looking for marriage.

  • Saif-Uddin
    replied
    Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post

    If they're both ok with two people contributing, what is wrong with that, it's their marriage, not yours. You focus on what concerns you. If your definition of manhood is earning a small wage, not allowing the wife to work and moving her in to your tiny bedroom in your parent's house, then that's you lol.

    One of the reasons out of the 4 that a woman is married for, is for her money. There's nothing wrong with that as long as deen and character are a priority.

    Abdullah ibn masood's wife asked if she could give her sadaqah to her husband. And she was told she could. Does that make him less of a man for taking his wife's charity? Of course it doesn't. Get out of this black and white way of thinking.
    you misunderstood,

    If she contributes out of her own choice different matter.

    If the man demands/expects wife to pay up, hes a diagrace.

    Allah عز و جل placed financial responsibilities of food, clothing, shelter etc on the man.

    Leave a comment:


  • AmantuBillahi
    replied
    Originally posted by samin62 View Post

    You like being deceptive?
    It's a skill, ya'ni.

    Leave a comment:


  • muzzybee
    replied
    Originally posted by Janna90 View Post

    I didn't even mention the income of the man., How much they earn is irrelevant. I was talking about the responsibility of the man to provide, I did not mention wanting a certain lifestyle. You misunderstood the question.
    See this is where your post goes all nuts

    You say

    but when it comes to looking for marriage they want you to actually work and support yourself.
    Clearly if you think this is the case ,you are either saying the man does not provide the basics or the Man does not want to help you live a certain lifestyle that you want
    If it is the former , then this is a very very small percentage of the community as most men will always provide the basics whatever community you are on.


    There's so much that we do to contribute to our home and society. But it seems men overlook those qualities because there too busy thinking about money
    Shows a clear biasness and emotion , its like you have something against men in general , that is not a mans problem . work on yourself.


    Or maybe am seeking something that doesn't exist
    Yes , and marriage aint it with that mentality

    Even the most basic duty for them to provide, they wont do
    You keep saying that.Can you define basic please , i like to know what basic means to you and if man is providing thee things.


    No wonder alot of women are becoming independent and have to work because the men are becoming lazy
    You blame man for making you independent then you say women want to become independent..


    We are not going to sit around and wait for the men to provide, and when we do start doing things for ourselves and we develop goals and ambitions
    Looks like this is what you wana say all along , you just went round in circles.

    Leave a comment:


  • Rumaysah~
    replied
    Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post

    Yeah thanks for the correction,

    Your right, my urdu aint good.

    But the man who expects his wife to work and leech of her salary is a disgrace, even if hes working.
    If they're both ok with two people contributing, what is wrong with that, it's their marriage, not yours. You focus on what concerns you. If your definition of manhood is earning a small wage, not allowing the wife to work and moving her in to your tiny bedroom in your parent's house, then that's you lol.

    One of the reasons out of the 4 that a woman is married for, is for her money. There's nothing wrong with that as long as deen and character are a priority.

    Abdullah ibn masood's wife asked if she could give her sadaqah to her husband. And she was told she could. Does that make him less of a man for taking his wife's charity? Of course it doesn't. Get out of this black and white way of thinking.

    Leave a comment:


  • samin62
    replied
    Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post

    Shhh!! She might find out.

    You like being deceptive?

    Leave a comment:


  • Saif-Uddin
    replied
    Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

    You used the phrase "Joru Ka Ghulam" incorrectly here.

    A man who does not wish to work and lives off of his wife's money is a lazy man. He is not a "Joru Ka Ghulam".

    "Joru Ka Ghulam" means a wife's slave. Whereby the husband is meek, and gives in to all the desires/wishes of his wife.

    Yeah thanks for the correction,

    Your right, my urdu aint good.

    But the man who expects his wife to work and leech of her salary is a disgrace, even if hes working.

    Leave a comment:


  • Janna90
    replied
    Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post

    YouYou been influenced by the Feminazi brigade and went nuts generalising.

    Enough said.
    I didnt generalize that's my experience don't blame me for their actions. And calm down you sound so mad.

    Leave a comment:


  • Janna90
    replied
    Originally posted by Sister_2009 View Post

    Oh, please. You did not experience anything to warrant two rant threads generalizing men.

    When asked where you were finding all these brothers who make marriage difficult, after 17 pages of back and forth, you said yourself that you weren’t really looking but heard from around that someone saw someone put on some marriage CV that some guys might hint at wanting someone who might have a job.

    Timewaster.
    your still here...?

    Leave a comment:


  • AmantuBillahi
    replied
    Originally posted by samin62 View Post

    I find it disturbing you didnt correct her and say you are a male
    Shhh!! She might find out.

    Leave a comment:


  • samin62
    replied
    Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post

    I find it disturbing you didnt correct her and say you are a male

    Leave a comment:


  • Indefinable
    replied
    Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post

    Man expecting to leech of wifes money?

    Hmm...

    I'm pretty sure most men dont do that, at least not the ones practicing their deen.

    Why are you looking at marrying impotent men?

    A man who does not want to be a breadwinner, isnt a man in the first place.

    Theres a phrase in Urdu which deacribea them,

    Joru Ka Ghulam

    They are a diagrace, you should look for an upright muslim man to marry.

    Instead of making wild generalisations
    You used the phrase "Joru Ka Ghulam" incorrectly here.

    A man who does not wish to work and lives off of his wife's money is a lazy man. He is not a "Joru Ka Ghulam".

    "Joru Ka Ghulam" means a wife's slave. Whereby the husband is meek, and gives in to all the desires/wishes of his wife.


    Leave a comment:


  • zi-zizou
    replied
    Originally posted by Janna90 View Post

    Yes close it.
    Don't be bullied by others. You said something that perhaps you could have worded better. It's okay it happens.

    Plenty of lazy men around, let's not pretend otherwise.

    Leave a comment:


  • samin62
    replied
    Originally posted by Janna90 View Post

    Right, so you ask me questions just so you can come back and insult me? Thats just immature. Dont you have anything else better to do then come here and comment on people's marriage search.
    I didnt insult you. You called majority muslim men lazy and i challenged you.

    Dont make claims when you cant back it up.

    If you just said you were unimpressed with men you met for marriage, none of this would be necessary.

    Leave a comment:


  • Saif-Uddin
    replied
    Originally posted by Janna90 View Post
    People are misunderstanding what am saying, I will not comment any further.
    YouYou been influenced by the Feminazi brigade and went nuts generalising.

    Enough said.
    Last edited by Saif-Uddin; 18-10-18, 06:18 PM.

    Leave a comment:

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