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Why are Muslim Men Lazy?

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  • #31
    Originally posted by Sister_2009 View Post

    This is essentially the same topic created at the beginning of this year.

    When asked where you were looking for a spouse, you mentioned that you really aren’t looking. This left some members, including me, feeling confused as to why you created the thread about Muslim men when you were, in fact, not looking for a husband and that you “heard this around” as to where this speculation about Muslim men came from.

    Not to undervalue any experiences you have had, but can you explain to the members here whether you are actually searching for marriage and whether these are your experiences or those of others, and how are the others meeting these men?
    Who by me?

    No I said I was looking but took a break from looking at that time. I didn't hear it around, it is people that I have come across. And yes I am looking for marriage now. Some people were suggested to me by friends of friends of family members. I tried online couple of years ago, but I thought I would try online again. And to be honest am completely put off with online. My family are not looking for me due to family problems. So I guess online seems like the only option. These days you cant just walk into a mosque and expect them to help, especially for females we need someone to represent us. To be honest the whole process of looking is kind of long, especially if your family are not fully involved.

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    • #32
      Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post



      I would imagine that these brothers are the irreligious or cultural Muslims that I'm talking about. Brothers who are religious and capable of providing should provide. I mean, why wouldn't they? Perhaps I'm out of touch but it's extremely difficult for me to imagine.

      How are you going about finding these men? Is it through family, the Masjid or online?
      Some through friends and online

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by samin62 View Post

        you seem to not understand what generalizing is. You said you arent but then say most are like it.

        It definitely is accusation until you verify your country and method by which you came to this conclusion

        Or is this just you and some gals just talking based on very limited anecdotal experiences
        Lol I have to verify what I say now?

        People that I have came across, which were either introduced by friends or friends of family members and some online. Why do you need to know which country exactly?

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        • #34
          Originally posted by Janna90 View Post

          Who by me?

          No I said I was looking but took a break from looking at that time. I didn't hear it around, it is people that I have come across. And yes I am looking for marriage now. Some people were suggested to me by friends of friends of family members. I tried online couple of years ago, but I thought I would try online again. And to be honest am completely put off with online. My family are not looking for me due to family problems. So I guess online seems like the only option. These days you cant just walk into a mosque and expect them to help, especially for females we need someone to represent us. To be honest the whole process of looking is kind of long, especially if your family are not fully involved.
          Yes, it was a thread created by you, titled Brothers making marriage difficult.

          It can be noted that on page 17, you stated you weren’t really looking and had heard this from around: https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/fa...iage-difficult

          At this point, it feels as if this is another complaint thread. Is there something specific the users here can help you with?

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          • #35
            Originally posted by Sister_2009 View Post

            Yes, it was a thread created by you, titled Brothers making marriage difficult.

            It can be noted that on page 17, you stated you weren’t really looking and had heard this from around: https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/fa...iage-difficult

            At this point, it feels as if this is another complaint thread. Is there something specific the users here can help you with?
            But now am saying I am, its a different time sis. Were allowed to look or not look. What is the issue?

            well cant it be both? I am complaining and asking a question. Surely am allowed to express my thoughts when I ask a question.

            There is nothing you can help me with. leave it to people who may understand where am coming from.

            jazak allah khair.

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by Janna90 View Post

              Some through friends and online
              Honestly sister, you can't generalize Muslim men just by what you've experienced through your friends and online. I mean, your friends might have weak irreligious connections and the online world is known to be deviant.

              If you're serious about seeking a religious brother, then your best bet is to have your Wali approach the most reputable Masjid in your city. Do you have a Wali who is willing to actively represent you?

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              • #37
                Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post

                Honestly sister, you can't generalize Muslim men just by what you've experienced through your friends and online. I mean, your friends might have weak irreligious connections and the online world is known to be deviant.

                If you're serious about seeking a religious brother, then your best bet is to have your Wali approach the most reputable Masjid in your city. Do you have a Wali who is willing to actively represent you?
                No I don't. my situation is a bit complicated that's why I thought I would try online.

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by Janna90 View Post

                  But now am saying I am, its a different time sis. Were allowed to look or not look. What is the issue?

                  well cant it be both? I am complaining and asking a question. Surely am allowed to express my thoughts when I ask a question.

                  There is nothing you can help me with. leave it to people who may understand where am coming from.

                  jazak allah khair.
                  You said you were looking the first time when you created essentially the same thread with the same complaint. When questioned, it turned out that you weren’t even looking. Now you’ve come with another thread and say this time you’re looking, but it’s different?

                  Sorry, but I spent a reasonable amount of time trying to help you the first time, as did others, only to discover that you weren’t being serious. I don’t appreciate having my time wasted, nor do I imagine others here do. The nature of the thread needed to be addressed in hopes of preventing that again, so folks here know what they’re dealing with.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Sister_2009 View Post

                    You said you were looking the first time when you created essentially the same thread with the same complaint. When questioned, it turned out that you weren’t even looking. Now you’ve come with another thread and say this time you’re looking, but it’s different?

                    Sorry, but I spent a reasonable amount of time trying to help you the first time, as did others, only to discover that you weren’t being serious. I don’t appreciate having my time wasted, nor do I imagine others here do. The nature of the thread needed to be addressed in hopes of preventing that again, so folks here know what they’re dealing with.
                    Maybe it's different this time sister.


                    Originally posted by Janna90 View Post

                    No I don't. my situation is a bit complicated that's why I thought I would try online.
                    Sister_2009 What would you recommend someone in this situation? How does she find a 'religious' husband without a Wali actively searching for her?

                    Last edited by AmantuBillahi; 18-10-18, 01:56 AM. Reason: Necessary

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by Janna90 View Post

                      Lol I have to verify what I say now?

                      People that I have came across, which were either introduced by friends or friends of family members and some online. Why do you need to know which country exactly?
                      You are just ranting because your marriage search hasnt gone very well so far

                      no need to make silly claims and blame muslim men. Makes you sound hysterical
                      "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

                      Lost in Islamic History :inlove:

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                      • #41
                        Generalisations are not good.

                        "Muslim" men come from a range of different backgrounds, ethnicities, cultures, upbringings, work ethics, etc. To say they are ALL or MOST of them are lazy is out of touch with reality.

                        Similarly, not all or most Muslim women are feminists (as the misrepresentation seems to be).

                        If you don't like what you see then you should look elsewhere. Try a different ethnic group?

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                        • #42
                          lets jsut say the ummah has dug it self a hole it cant get out of with out serious world wide change

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                          • #43
                            You need to be more specific about being a housewife... you should be clear to them about that you, if they arent into it you dont need to waste your time on them
                            يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                            O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                            Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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                            • #44
                              Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post

                              Maybe it's different this time sister.




                              Sister_2009 What would you recommend someone in this situation? How does she find a 'religious' husband without a Wali actively searching for her?
                              It’s the same story, which was a negative generalization about Muslim men, only to find out the individual really didn’t have that experience at all.

                              We spent 18 pages trying to help her out previously. I won’t be investing anymore into this.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                People in the west in general don't believe in traditional gender roles anymore, naturally the muslims who grow up here will have similar opinions except a minority. This is just a fact. It's not laziness it's a mindset. A person's worth in the west is based on their education, career, status, income, material posessions etc and that includes women.

                                You can either wait until you find someone who fits your criteria or you can marry someone from another country.
                                شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
                                فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
                                وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
                                ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

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