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Why are Muslim Men Lazy?

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Janna90 View Post

    If your referring to my country a small sample size then what would you suggest I do? Travel the whole world? Like I said this is a problem of muslim men nowadays.
    oh you and your peers have figured out the muslim men in the whole country, what country if I may ask?
    "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

    Lost in Islamic History :inlove:

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Janna90 View Post
      Assalamu alaikoum,
      Why is it in today's society most Muslim men are getting lazier to financially provide for their families. Am not generalizing, but most Muslim men seem to have forgotten what their role is. I have only come across such a small number of men who actually have the correct islamic mindset when pursuing marriage. Alot of the time, men spend so much time criticizing independent women who work. But when it comes to looking for marriage they want you to actually work and support yourself. And if you don't work they criticize you, or undermine your choices.
      wa alaykum salam

      I'm not denying the flaws of the brothers, myself included, but it's important to fully contextualize the issue in a more comprehensive manner.

      Most people who identify themselves as 'Muslims' aren't truly influenced by Islam. There's over a billion Muslim in the world. How many of them do you think pray 5 times a day? Among those who pray, how many of them are cultural Muslims who are just following the traditions of their family? How many of them have actual depth in their Islam and their Imaan? I assure you it's not the majority. The rightly guided believers are the minority.

      Women aren't exempt from this either. Or did you think that every Hijaabi we see on the streets is the ideal Muslimah? You know better than I that a good number of them are hypocrites; so it goes both ways.

      Also, there's a huge difference between those who are lazy and those who aren't capable of providing. A lazy person is someone who able to provide for you but refuses to put in the effort. The brothers who can't provide aren't able to make ends meet despite the hours they put in. Amongst the religious brothers, I would say the latter is the case. They desire to provide but due to societal restrictions they're incompetent. Now the question is, are these brothers too lazy to upgrade their financial situation? I guess that's a case by case answer.

      But you can't ignore the society that we currently live in. By your standards of judgement we could also say that non-Muslim men don't provide for their families either, and therefore they're also lazy. What's even worse is that they're not restricted by Ribaa' as Muslim men are, so their situation is far more abhorrent. Non-Muslim women work which makes the economy as well as the whole social structure designed upon that expectancy; dual income households. Now that doesn't exempt Muslim men from their jobs, but it's not always as simple as saying "they're all just lazy!"

      Allah knows best.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post

        wa alaykum salam

        I'm not denying the flaws of the brothers, myself included, but it's important to fully contextualize the issue in a more comprehensive manner.

        Most people who identify themselves as 'Muslims' aren't truly influenced by Islam. There's over a billion Muslim in the world. How many of them do you think pray 5 times a day? Among those who pray, how many of them are cultural Muslims who are just following the traditions of their family? How many of them have actual depth in their Islam and their Imaan? I assure you it's not the majority. The rightly guided believers are the minority.

        Women aren't exempt from this either. Or did you think that every Hijaabi we see on the streets is the ideal Muslimah? You know better than I that a good number of them are hypocrites; so it goes both ways.

        Also, there's a huge difference between those who are lazy and those who aren't capable of providing. A lazy person is someone who able to provide for you but refuses to put in the effort. The brothers who can't provide aren't able to make ends meet despite the hours they put in. Amongst the religious brothers, I would say the latter is the case. They desire to provide but due to societal restrictions they're incompetent. Now the question is, are these brothers too lazy to upgrade their financial situation? I guess that's a case by case answer.

        But you can't ignore the society that we currently live in. By your standards of judgement we could also say that non-Muslim men don't provide for their families either, and therefore they're also lazy. What's even worse is that they're not restricted by Ribaa' as Muslim men are, so their situation is far more abhorrent. Non-Muslim women work which makes the economy as well as the whole social structure designed upon that expectancy; dual income households. Now that doesn't exempt Muslim men from their jobs, but it's not always as simple as saying "they're all just lazy!"

        Allah knows best.
        I am not speaking about those who are not able to provide. Rather the ones that can provide, am saying there lazy to carry out that responsibility. And these men with this certain mindset would not be okay if the woman didnt work. They look down upon you and make you seem like you have nothing else to offer. Now am not speaking about their income, or they need to earn a certain amount before marriage. Am talking about the roles and duties of husband and wife. They are lazy in the sense that they put the pressure on you to work so that they don't have to work as hard.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by samin62 View Post

          oh you and your peers have figured out the muslim men in the whole country, what country if I may ask?
          well if your going to be all sarcastic about it then never mind..

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Janna90 View Post

            well if your going to be all sarcastic about it then never mind..
            You gave me no reason to take it seriously.

            What country?
            "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

            Lost in Islamic History :inlove:

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by samin62 View Post

              You gave me no reason to take it seriously.

              What country?
              Okay, there's no reason for you to comment.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by Janna90 View Post

                Okay, there's no reason for you to comment.
                Of course there is, you are accusing muslim men

                you also seem to not understand what generalizing is. You said you arent but then say most are like it. Your OP makes little sense
                "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

                Lost in Islamic History :inlove:

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by samin62 View Post

                  Of course there is, you are accusing muslim men
                  I didnt say all muslim men, I said most of them. Its not an accusation if its true.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Janna90 View Post
                    Assalamu alaikoum,

                    Why is it in today's society most Muslim men are getting lazier to financially provide for their families. Am not generalizing, but most Muslim men seem to have forgotten what their role is. I have only come across such a small number of men who actually have the correct islamic mindset when pursuing marriage. Alot of the time, men spend so much time criticizing independent women who work. But when it comes to looking for marriage they want you to actually work and support yourself. And if you don't work they criticize you, or undermine your choices. As if your less worthy just because you dont work. Bear in mind just because a sister doesn't work it doesn't mean she does nothing. There's so much that we do to contribute to our home and society. But it seems men overlook those qualities because there too busy thinking about money. And they want you to have your own because providing for you is such a hassle. I don't see the point of marriage if the people I keep meeting have this mentality. Or maybe am seeking something that doesn't exist. Its such a turn off when men dont act like Men. Am so put off by Muslim men, in today's society there expecting alot from you but have nothing to offer in return. Even the most basic duty for them to provide, they wont do. What is the point of marriage then. I do hope that this might be my experiences and not what all muslim men are like. But time and time again this is all I hear. No wonder alot of women are becoming independent and have to work because the men are becoming lazy. We are not going to sit around and wait for the men to provide, and when we do start doing things for ourselves and we develop goals and ambitions. All of a sudden were too much and men are intimidated because there too busy worrying about whether they can control us.

                    I guess my question is why are muslim men becoming so lazy and losing the Islamic mindset? Am so put off looking for marriage.
                    Walaikum assalam

                    They are not all lazy sister. To test this out shout Biryani and see how quickly they jump up off the sofa.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Janna90 View Post

                      I didnt say all muslim men, I said most of them. Its not an accusation if its true.
                      you seem to not understand what generalizing is. You said you arent but then say most are like it.

                      It definitely is accusation until you verify your country and method by which you came to this conclusion

                      Or is this just you and some gals just talking based on very limited anecdotal experiences
                      "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

                      Lost in Islamic History :inlove:

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Janna90 View Post

                        I am not speaking about those who are not able to provide. Rather the ones that can provide, am saying there lazy to carry out that responsibility. And these men with this certain mindset would not be okay if the woman didnt work. They look down upon you and make you seem like you have nothing else to offer. Now am not speaking about their income, or they need to earn a certain amount before marriage. Am talking about the roles and duties of husband and wife. They are lazy in the sense that they put the pressure on you to work so that they don't have to work as hard.


                        I would imagine that these brothers are the irreligious or cultural Muslims that I'm talking about. Brothers who are religious and capable of providing should provide. I mean, why wouldn't they? Perhaps I'm out of touch but it's extremely difficult for me to think otherwise.

                        How are you going about finding these men? Is it through family, the Masjid or online?
                        Last edited by AmantuBillahi; 18-10-18, 01:21 AM. Reason: whoops*

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by muzzybee View Post

                          Its about how much women want ,not men earn.
                          When women want a billboard lifestyle influenced by madam curie then its irrelevant what men earn.

                          ​​​​​​You will always complain.

                          Waalaikumussalam btw
                          Madam curie? The scientist? She's someone to look up to for her contribution to the sciences, which some Muslims think is the only worth field of studying.
                          وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                          And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                          أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                          Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


                          Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

                          Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Janna90 View Post
                            Assalamu alaikoum,
                            Why is it in today's society most Muslim men are getting lazier to financially provide for their families. Am not generalizing, but most Muslim men seem to have forgotten what their role is. I
                            I guess my question is why are muslim men becoming so lazy and losing the Islamic mindset? Am so put off looking for marriage.
                            Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah sis

                            To be fair we often hear about the bad cases. Bad marriages or failed marriages are more interesting to talk about sadly. You rarely see people gossiping about how good fulan or fulanahs marriage is (which isn't a bad thing). But as soon as a brother isn't being responsible or a sister isn't giving her husband his haqq, that gets out in the community. People love listening to drama. The problem with that is, it gives marriages in general a bad rep. All of sudden ppl think that the bad cases are the norm. And as a result of this some ppl end up being "put off looking for marriage" as u put it.

                            Just because we hear about "Ahmad" or "Omar" neglecting their wives doesn't mean the majority are like that (lets hope that isn't the case lol).

                            Btw I'm sure there is some truth to what u said. This s just what I was thinking as I was reading your post.
                            رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post

                              Madam curie? The scientist? She's someone to look up to for her contribution to the sciences, which some Muslims think is the only worth field of studying.
                              errrrrr some magazine with curie on it.

                              Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

                              **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

                              Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antê” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Janna90 View Post
                                Assalamu alaikoum,

                                Why is it in today's society most Muslim men are getting lazier to financially provide for their families. Am not generalizing, but most Muslim men seem to have forgotten what their role is. I have only come across such a small number of men who actually have the correct islamic mindset when pursuing marriage. Alot of the time, men spend so much time criticizing independent women who work. But when it comes to looking for marriage they want you to actually work and support yourself. And if you don't work they criticize you, or undermine your choices. As if your less worthy just because you dont work. Bear in mind just because a sister doesn't work it doesn't mean she does nothing. There's so much that we do to contribute to our home and society. But it seems men overlook those qualities because there too busy thinking about money. And they want you to have your own because providing for you is such a hassle. I don't see the point of marriage if the people I keep meeting have this mentality. Or maybe am seeking something that doesn't exist. Its such a turn off when men dont act like Men. Am so put off by Muslim men, in today's society there expecting alot from you but have nothing to offer in return. Even the most basic duty for them to provide, they wont do. What is the point of marriage then. I do hope that this might be my experiences and not what all muslim men are like. But time and time again this is all I hear. No wonder alot of women are becoming independent and have to work because the men are becoming lazy. We are not going to sit around and wait for the men to provide, and when we do start doing things for ourselves and we develop goals and ambitions. All of a sudden were too much and men are intimidated because there too busy worrying about whether they can control us.

                                I guess my question is why are muslim men becoming so lazy and losing the Islamic mindset? Am so put off looking for marriage.
                                This is essentially the same topic created at the beginning of this year.

                                When asked where you were looking for a spouse, you mentioned that you really aren’t looking. This left some members, including me, feeling confused as to why you created the thread about Muslim men when you were, in fact, not looking for a husband and that you “heard this around” as to where this speculation about Muslim men came from.

                                Not to undervalue any experiences you have had, but can you explain to the members here whether you are actually searching for marriage and whether these are your experiences or those of others, and how are the others meeting these men?

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