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Sister wants to marry a non-muslim

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  • Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

    him staying away from her
    And this solves what exactly?

    If the sister doesn't practice and is involved with a non Muslim, just because he stays away doesn't mean that she will. Or, she may find another one who she'll get involved with after and just not tell anyone about it since the last time she did involved a beating.

    I know Ruby isn't Muslim, but she gave a really good analogy here involving pork. Say a non Muslim orders pizza with pepperoni, ham and chicken and your sibling grabs a slice. Even if the friend says, "Woah, I thought you don't eat pork" and your sibling just shrugs their shoulders, will you beat up the friend for providing the pork or will you teach your sibling about Islam so they won't make the same mistake again?

    It's the same situation here. The onus is on the Muslimah to stay away from the non Muslim. If she gets involved, then you need to teach her about Islam so she doesn't make a mistake and maybe even try to invite her boyfriend/fiancee into Islam as well so you kill two birds with one stone. But beating? I've read enough to know that this won't solve anything. The kids with strict parents who lash out are the most secretive and that is what they'll learn if any beating takes place.
    مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

    "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
    It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
    Surah al-Baqarah
    [2:245]

    .:.
    .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
    Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

    .:.
    ...said the spider to the fly...

    Comment


    • D
      Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

      him staying away from her
      This isn’t a typical Muslim engagement where the parties have limited emotional attachment

      If talk has progressed to marriage, the guy in question knows the girl, is in love with the girl, wants to build a life with her, a family with her and protect them

      If someone from her close family attacked him for loving her, his most likely response would be to try his hardest to protect her and get her away from them because he would think they were mentally unstable and a risk to her

      If someone beat my husband up for wanting to marry me, he wouldn’t leave me high and dry, he’d be helping me move far, far away from people who would resort to such violence.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post

        And this solves what exactly?

        If the sister doesn't practice and is involved with a non Muslim, just because he stays away doesn't mean that she will. Or, she may find another one who she'll get involved with after and just not tell anyone about it since the last time she did involved a beating.

        I know Ruby isn't Muslim, but she gave a really good analogy here involving pork. Say a non Muslim orders pizza with pepperoni, ham and chicken and your sibling grabs a slice. Even if the friend says, "Woah, I thought you don't eat pork" and your sibling just shrugs their shoulders, will you beat up the friend for providing the pork or will you teach your sibling about Islam so they won't make the same mistake again?

        It's the same situation here. The onus is on the Muslimah to stay away from the non Muslim. If she gets involved, then you need to teach her about Islam so she doesn't make a mistake and maybe even try to invite her boyfriend/fiancee into Islam as well so you kill two birds with one stone. But beating? I've read enough to know that this won't solve anything. The kids with strict parents who lash out are the most secretive and that is what they'll learn if any beating takes place.
        If done correctly, he can be forced into pretending he does not like the girl anymore

        Eventually she will get over that

        You are right though, she should not be in such a situation in the first place
        ''If the bedouins and city dwellers were to fight between themselves until they wipe each other out, it will surely be less significant than them appointing a taghoot in the land which rules by that which is against the Shari'ah of Islaam which Allah sent his Messenger ﷺ with'' - Sheikh Sulayman bin Sahmaan

        Comment


        • Originally posted by abufulaans View Post
          If done correctly, he can be forced into pretending he does not like the girl anymore

          Eventually she will get over that

          You are right though, she should not be in such a situation in the first place
          Sure, but how does this solve the original problem? She was the one who was meeting with a non Muslim and she will probably find another one if this one leaves. The beating only deals with a symptom of a bigger problem. It's like giving a nose spray to someone who has the flu, sure it might help clear your congestion but you still have the flu.

          The sister will probably resent her family for doing this and find someone else, perhaps someone who will fight for her or help her hide her romance from her family. She might leave the house one day and live with her husband, but no one in the family will realize what is going on until she winds up pregnant.

          What's worse is that she might even learn to resent Islam, because her male family members have proven to be a stereotypical "Muslim" where they react with emotion first before anything else.

          The result is the guy who got the beating won't ever pay attention to Islam and may hate it, the sister may start to resent her family and Islam due to the beating, and no one wins except the pride of some men who should have watched over their sister/daughter before any of this happened in the first place.
          مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

          "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
          It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
          Surah al-Baqarah
          [2:245]

          .:.
          .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
          Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

          .:.
          ...said the spider to the fly...

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post

            Sure, but how does this solve the original problem? She was the one who was meeting with a non Muslim and she will probably find another one if this one leaves. The beating only deals with a symptom of a bigger problem. It's like giving a nose spray to someone who has the flu, sure it might help clear your congestion but you still have the flu.

            The sister will probably resent her family for doing this and find someone else, perhaps someone who will fight for her or help her hide her romance from her family. She might leave the house one day and live with her husband, but no one in the family will realize what is going on until she winds up pregnant.

            What's worse is that she might even learn to resent Islam, because her male family members have proven to be a stereotypical "Muslim" where they react with emotion first before anything else.

            The result is the guy who got the beating won't ever pay attention to Islam and may hate it, the sister may start to resent her family and Islam due to the beating, and no one wins except the pride of some men who should have watched over their sister/daughter before any of this happened in the first place.
            She/He might not even listen to anything you or anyone else has to say and carry on this disgusting relationship,

            Yes none of the "solutions" guarantee a result.

            At the same time you can't say its wrong, unless you have evidence from the Qur'an and Sunnah to back it up.

            Emotional arguments, your own opinion does not make right/wrong.
            http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

            "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

            – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post

              Sure, but how does this solve the original problem? She was the one who was meeting with a non Muslim and she will probably find another one if this one leaves. The beating only deals with a symptom of a bigger problem. It's like giving a nose spray to someone who has the flu, sure it might help clear your congestion but you still have the flu.

              The sister will probably resent her family for doing this and find someone else, perhaps someone who will fight for her or help her hide her romance from her family. She might leave the house one day and live with her husband, but no one in the family will realize what is going on until she winds up pregnant.

              What's worse is that she might even learn to resent Islam, because her male family members have proven to be a stereotypical "Muslim" where they react with emotion first before anything else.

              The result is the guy who got the beating won't ever pay attention to Islam and may hate it, the sister may start to resent her family and Islam due to the beating, and no one wins except the pride of some men who should have watched over their sister/daughter before any of this happened in the first place.
              As saif mentioned

              advising does not guarantee results, Infact that might make matter even worse

              The situation is bad, there is no ideal solution
              ''If the bedouins and city dwellers were to fight between themselves until they wipe each other out, it will surely be less significant than them appointing a taghoot in the land which rules by that which is against the Shari'ah of Islaam which Allah sent his Messenger ﷺ with'' - Sheikh Sulayman bin Sahmaan

              Comment


              • let her be happy

                Comment


                • Originally posted by annygrant View Post
                  let her be happy
                  Certainly not the advice of a Muslim.
                  "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Musbah View Post

                    Certainly not the advice of a Muslim.
                    its a troll

                    Comment

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