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How do you increase your confidence and self-esteem islamically?

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  • How do you increase your confidence and self-esteem islamically?

    I know there are many books and techniques created by non-muslims to increase self confidence and self-esteem. Is there any Quranic or hadith advise how to improve yourself in both areas.

  • #2
    Assalaamu alaikum my brother,

    Have you heard of the website Productive Muslim, well they've shook up their website now its very different, but here is a few articles which can help you from them:

    https://productivemuslim.com/7-ways-to-win-life/

    https://productivemuslim.com/daily-r...phet-muhammad/

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0ymp-jdTIU

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXZVW--1cG8


    Btw brother have you ever gotten help for your learning difficulties, I'd think talking to someone if you are still in school, maybe your principal or maybe you're doctor if you're an adult, to get help with overcoming this.

    I'll make duas for you though.
    وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

    And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


    أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

    Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


    Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

    Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

    Comment


    • #3
      Walikum salam sister, thank you again for nice post, I really enjoy reading them. Yes I heard of productivemuslim I'll check them out. When I was in school I used to get extra support but nothing was done to overcome it. I don't think I can overcome it because I am like that since I was born so it could both psychological and physiological. I am grateful you will make dua for me.

      Comment


      • #4
        Talk to people u dont know in school or work or masjid (of the same gender)

        do presentations or talks infront of people

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by ThisIsJannah View Post
          Walikum salam sister, thank you again for nice post, I really enjoy reading them. Yes I heard of productivemuslim I'll check them out. When I was in school I used to get extra support but nothing was done to overcome it. I don't think I can overcome it because I am like that since I was born so it could both psychological and physiological. I am grateful you will make dua for me.
          Was just thinking if you're dyslexic its good to try dyslexia glasses:

          https://www.google.com/search?source....0.3Tf4d3l2RZY
          وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

          And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


          أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

          Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


          Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

          Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

          Comment


          • #6
            I have been trying out something for last 3 weeks to develop my confidence and its working. I feel less anxious and less self-conscious and increased confidence. Others noticed difference in me too, they treat me positively but I don't know if its halal way to develop confidence because I learnt it from non-Islamic sources. This is what I do , I use words and visualisation, basically your using the mind and words to boost your confidence. This is how some non-muslims develop their confidence so could anyone tell me if its fine to develop confidence like that? I mean as a muslim I can develop confidence like that? I know above technique doesn't sound Islamic. I hope it isn't shirk or kufr to use your mind to develop yourself.
            Last edited by ThisIsJannah; 12-09-18, 02:47 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by ThisIsJannah View Post
              I have been trying out something for last 3 weeks to develop my confidence and its working. I feel less anxious and less self-conscious and increased confidence. Others noticed difference in me too, they treat me positively but I don't know if its halal way to develop confidence because I learnt it from non-Islamic sources. This is what I do, I choose an affirmation something like "I am a confident person" then I visualise myself confident and repeatedly say the affirmation, basically your using the mind and words to boost your confidence. This is how some non-muslims develop their confidence so could anyone tell me if its fine to develop confidence like that? I mean as a muslim I can develop confidence like that? I know above technique doesn't sound Islamic. I hope it isn't shirk or kufr to use your mind to develop yourself.
              Where did you learn it from?

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post

                Where did you learn it from?
                I learnt it from a book but I don't want to name the book because its very powerful, some people might use it for wrong reason then I'll be sinful for telling everyone about it. Author is a non-muslim. Brother please delete my quote because I revealed the technique some of it, I edited my post now.
                Last edited by ThisIsJannah; 12-09-18, 02:50 PM. Reason: correction

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by ThisIsJannah View Post

                  I learnt it from a book but I don't want to name the book because its very powerful, some people might use it for wrong reason then I'll be sinful for telling everyone about it. Author is a non-muslim. Brother please delete my quote because I revealed the technique some of it, I edited my post now.
                  PM the details to me.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post

                    PM the details to me.
                    Please delete the quote on post #7. How do you PM? I never done it before.
                    Last edited by ThisIsJannah; 12-09-18, 03:00 PM. Reason: correction

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I don't know enough about what you're reading to say much about it, but from what you've described, I don't see the problem as long as you say such things with the understanding that what you are given in life (in terms of provision etc) is from Allah (swt). So if you say "I will be confident inshaAllah" then that's fine or if you make dua that "May Allah give me confidence, ameen" then that's fine too, because you're encouraging yourself to be confident but at the same time acknowledging that whatever you're bestowed with is a blessing from Allah (swt).

                      I say this because some "self help" or "life coach" type stuff by non Muslims tends to contain messages along the lines of "I think therefore I am" which means "If I believe I will be successful, then I WILL be successful" and that is okay if you're thinking that "I will think about how to attain success, then work towards that aim and then inshaAllah I will be successful" because the keys are a) thinking along successful lines, b) acting upon your thoughts in order to achieve that goal and c) acknowledging that whatever you do achieve is due to blessings from Allah (swt). Most motivational type books tend to not include c) and that can lead to a minor shirk of assuming that positive thinking alone is sufficient for achieving that success due to your own efforts. Basically all you have to say is "inshaAllah" and you'll be fine- if you leave that word out, then you're in trouble. Also if your efforts yield successful results, then remember to say alhamdullilah afterwards, because if an affirmation of "Today I will be confident inshaAllah" works- then it works due to the help of Allah (swt), cos' if Allah did not will you to be confident, then you wouldn't be even if you tried a hundred affirmations so when it works, consider it a blessing and remember to praise Allah for it afterwards.

                      I hope that makes sense. Try not to overthink this. It's just a good habit to include the remembrance of Allah (swt) in small routine ways like that.
                      The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by ThisIsJannah View Post
                        I know there are many books and techniques created by non-muslims to increase self confidence and self-esteem. Is there any Quranic or hadith advise how to improve yourself in both areas.
                        Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

                        I'd like to kindly share the Dua Musa (alayhi salam) made for Confidence and ease - when he was ordered by Allah azza wajal togo to Pharaoh.

                        Arabic To English: Rabbish rahli sadri, wa yassirli amri, wah lul uqdatan min lisaani, yaf kahu kauli

                        Meaning: My Lord, expand for me my breast [with assurance], And ease for me my task, And untie the knot from my tongue, That they may understand my speech.

                        Learn More: https://www.duasrevival.com/supplica...onfidence-ease

                        More Duas Available Here: https://www.duasrevival.com/supplications/help

                        Please remember us in your Duas.

                        Jazakallahu Khair,
                        DR

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by neelu View Post
                          I don't know enough about what you're reading to say much about it, but from what you've described, I don't see the problem as long as you say such things with the understanding that what you are given in life (in terms of provision etc) is from Allah (swt). So if you say "I will be confident inshaAllah" then that's fine or if you make dua that "May Allah give me confidence, ameen" then that's fine too, because you're encouraging yourself to be confident but at the same time acknowledging that whatever you're bestowed with is a blessing from Allah (swt).

                          I say this because some "self help" or "life coach" type stuff by non Muslims tends to contain messages along the lines of "I think therefore I am" which means "If I believe I will be successful, then I WILL be successful" and that is okay if you're thinking that "I will think about how to attain success, then work towards that aim and then inshaAllah I will be successful" because the keys are a) thinking along successful lines, b) acting upon your thoughts in order to achieve that goal and c) acknowledging that whatever you do achieve is due to blessings from Allah (swt). Most motivational type books tend to not include c) and that can lead to a minor shirk of assuming that positive thinking alone is sufficient for achieving that success due to your own efforts. Basically all you have to say is "inshaAllah" and you'll be fine- if you leave that word out, then you're in trouble. Also if your efforts yield successful results, then remember to say alhamdullilah afterwards, because if an affirmation of "Today I will be confident inshaAllah" works- then it works due to the help of Allah (swt), cos' if Allah did not will you to be confident, then you wouldn't be even if you tried a hundred affirmations so when it works, consider it a blessing and remember to praise Allah for it afterwards.

                          I hope that makes sense. Try not to overthink this. It's just a good habit to include the remembrance of Allah (swt) in small routine ways like that.
                          You have made good points above, I thank you for that. At the moment I am not very confident person, our mind has many negative stuff in it, I am trying to convince my mind that I am confident by using above technique. What worries if I am relying on my mind to develop my confidence but as a muslim I should be relying upon God for that. I asked an imam today if I can use this to develop my confidence, he said its ok to use it but I am not sure if he has understood what I am on about it.
                          Last edited by ThisIsJannah; 12-09-18, 11:46 PM. Reason: spelling mistakes

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Duas_Revival View Post

                            Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

                            I'd like to kindly share the Dua Musa (alayhi salam) made for Confidence and ease - when he was ordered by Allah azza wajal togo to Pharaoh.

                            Arabic To English: Rabbish rahli sadri, wa yassirli amri, wah lul uqdatan min lisaani, yaf kahu kauli

                            Meaning: My Lord, expand for me my breast [with assurance], And ease for me my task, And untie the knot from my tongue, That they may understand my speech.

                            Learn More: https://www.duasrevival.com/supplica...onfidence-ease

                            More Duas Available Here: https://www.duasrevival.com/supplications/help

                            Please remember us in your Duas.

                            Jazakallahu Khair,
                            DR
                            That's very good dua but I am not sure duas will work for me because I think life need to be completely halal duas to be accepted.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by ThisIsJannah View Post

                              That's very good dua but I am not sure duas will work for me because I think life need to be completely halal duas to be accepted.
                              Allāh even accepts the du'ā of kāfir(s) and fājir(s)...
                              Watch those eyes

                              Comment

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