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  • #31
    Originally posted by neelu View Post
    I don't know how it is in the US, but one sister I know in the UK said that if you get a phone contract, then that is one of the few ways that you can establish some sort of credit score without resorting to riba transactions such as credit cards and then having a credit score makes it easier to do other transactions as well. Really hope this goes well for you. I know you say the people you live with are good overall, but I'm very uneasy with this idea that they wont allow you to wear certain clothing at all to the point that you can't even consider khimar or abaya or even cardigans or scarves. Hope you find a way out of there and into a better situation soon inshaAllah.
    Masha'Allah, good idea. Thanks for letting me know. I actually found out from the sister that having credit isn't really necessary. Especially since I'm going to be staying with roommates, things will be much easier. I was told about someone who just had to pay one weeks worth of rent and they were good to go. I just have to look into those roommate agencies.

    Honestly, so many things are lining up perfectly and I'm amazed. There were always major risks with other plans and moving to NY is simplest one yet. I feel optimistic about this, and that's pretty rare because I incline towards pessimism. I really hope this will turn out well.
    لا يؤخر الله أمراً إلا لخير
    ولا يحرمك أمراً إلا لخير
    ولا ينزل عليك بلاءً إلا لخير
    فلا تحزن
    فـرب الخير لا يأتي إلا بخير

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post

      Masha'Allah, good idea. Thanks for letting me know. I actually found out from the sister that having credit isn't really necessary. Especially since I'm going to be staying with roommates, things will be much easier. I was told about someone who just had to pay one weeks worth of rent and they were good to go. I just have to look into those roommate agencies.

      Honestly, so many things are lining up perfectly and I'm amazed. There were always major risks with other plans and moving to NY is simplest one yet. I feel optimistic about this, and that's pretty rare because I incline towards pessimism. I really hope this will turn out well.
      I really hope/pray things work out for you sis. This could be the start of a new beginning In Sha Allaah, and you can practise your religion the way you want to.

      May Allaah make things easy for you and reward you for your struggles.

      Comment


      • #33
        ameen and inshallah
        Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post
          Sister_2009, something I didn't explain well was that I haven't secured a job yet. I'm just very confident I'll get a position at a certain school.

          I met a sister online who worked at the school I mentioned earlier and she was in a very similar position. She moved to NY on her own but there are a few differences in our situations. The main one is having high school diploma, but at the same time they didn't list any requirements on their website. Still, having a diploma is pretty important, so I don't know how they'll view me. I have one over her in the sense that I have experience with children in a daycare setting, so insha'Allah that'll work in my favor. I also know someone who used to be the director of an Islamic school, and if needed, I think I could get her to vouch for my character and have her explain that I'm good with kids, but I'm not 100% certain she'll be happy with my plans.

          I'm either going to call this school in advance to secure a job or go to NY and apply in person. I could have a better chance of securing a job if I do the latter. So if I have the money to get there and to pay lowered rent, the sister is willing to let me stay in a spare room, but it's temporary. If not her, I'm sure she could put me in contact with someone else. Also, the sister knows people who work there so I feel that I have a good chance of getting hired... Or maybe I have a false sense of security. What do you think?

          And regardung safety, I feel sure of her identity because I was the one to initiate contact. She's kind of well known on social media and Ive had been following her for a while, so I already knew some things about her personal life. I've spoken to her and I've heard her voice so I'm pretty sure she's who she says she is. I went through her page on social media and saw an old video of her at the nursery, so I feel that I can take her word seriously. The information she told me about herself matches the things she mentioned on her page years ago. I prayed istikhara and I still feel fine about it.

          Also, I'm sorry if I'm not making much sense right now. I had way too much caffeine and my brain is pretty foggy. I tried :/
          Thanks for providing more details.

          I dont think this is a good situation. Hereís why:

          Its not secure or sustainable. Iím not sure where you live now, but Iím thinking west coast. NY is very far. Itís also expensive to live in the city, like really expensive.

          This lady may be legit, but what happens if she changes her mind when you get there? Youíll basically be out on the street. This is not okay. I donít want to think the worst, but you have to plan for the worst.

          Also, the job is not secure. I understand you can go in person, etc., but youíll have to essentially move there to find out. Itís too much risk for a job you can find elsewhere.

          Here is is what I suggest:

          Stay where you are and finish your GED. I think you will have a hard time finding a school or job without this, and I believe you have to have it for a federal program.

          Once you have the GED, then start looking into schools and jobs. Find a city that is less expensive than NY. There are Islamic schools in Chicago. Itís cheaper to live there, and they have a subway system. Iíve lived there before, and honestly it wasnít my favorite place, but my situation was different. That is just one idea.


          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by Sister_2009 View Post

            Thanks for providing more details.

            I dont think this is a good situation. Hereís why:

            Its not secure or sustainable. Iím not sure where you live now, but Iím thinking west coast. NY is very far. Itís also expensive to live in the city, like really expensive.

            This lady may be legit, but what happens if she changes her mind when you get there? Youíll basically be out on the street. This is not okay. I donít want to think the worst, but you have to plan for the worst.

            Also, the job is not secure. I understand you can go in person, etc., but youíll have to essentially move there to find out. Itís too much risk for a job you can find elsewhere.

            Here is is what I suggest:

            Stay where you are and finish your GED. I think you will have a hard time finding a school or job without this, and I believe you have to have it for a federal program.

            Once you have the GED, then start looking into schools and jobs. Find a city that is less expensive than NY. There are Islamic schools in Chicago. Itís cheaper to live there, and they have a subway system. Iíve lived there before, and honestly it wasnít my favorite place, but my situation was different. That is just one idea.

            If something like that happened I think I'd be fine. My sister stays in NYC a lot. She isn't the first person I'd turn to her for help because her living situation isn't ideal, but I know she wouldn't let me stay on the streets.

            What if I called different schools before I go, while I'm still in Texas?

            To be honest, I don't know if I can continue studying for the GED. I can't focus and I can't sign up for classes in person. I understand I could end up in a worse situation if I leave, but studying feels nearly impossible for me.

            And regarding getting the money to leave, I may have other options but I'm totally sure at the moment.
            Last edited by .khayriyyah.; 25-09-18, 06:43 PM.
            لا يؤخر الله أمراً إلا لخير
            ولا يحرمك أمراً إلا لخير
            ولا ينزل عليك بلاءً إلا لخير
            فلا تحزن
            فـرب الخير لا يأتي إلا بخير

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post

              If something like that happened I think I'd be fine. My sister stays in NYC a lot. She isn't the first person I'd turn to her for help because her living situation isn't ideal, but I know she wouldn't let me stay on the streets.

              What if I called different schools before I go, while I'm still in Texas?

              To be honest, I don't know if I can continue studying for the GED. I can't focus and I can't sign up for classes in person. I feel so stressed here and I can't eat and have trouble sleeping. I understand I could end up in a worse situation if I leave, but studying feels nearly impossible for me.

              And regarding getting the money to leave, I may have other options but I'm totally sure at the moment.
              Thinking youíre going to be fine and having a guarantee of being fine are two different things. Does your sister know youíre thinking of going out there? Has she said she will help you if something goes wrong?

              Calling schools is an idea. Again, this is not a solid plan. Until youíve gone to the school, seen what the job is, have an offer for work, then calling isnít going to do much.

              I know you want to get out of your current situation. I really do understand. But I donít think itís the right time.

              I think we need to start the conversation over and re-evaluate what your goals are long term and how you can reach them in the safest way possible.

              Its challenging communicating in bits and pieces on the forum. I would offer to call or use a messenger app, but I think everyoneís feedback is important.

              Comment


              • Indefinable
                Indefinable commented
                Editing a comment
                It might be better if you spoke to Khayriyyah directly, since you know about how the system works in the US.

              • Sister_2009
                Sister_2009 commented
                Editing a comment
                I prefer direct conversation, as this situation is complex, and I believe it needs to be clarified, as in:

                Where are the parents? Any options to go back home?

                What is the status with the current family? Why is sister stressed there? What are the actual requirements to staying with them?

                What is the long-term goal? Marriage, work, school, or a combination?

                I’m free tomorrow (Wednesday). Whatever method is comfortable - here, PM, messenger app, call, etc.

              • .khayriyyah.
                .khayriyyah. commented
                Editing a comment
                Can you please PM me? I tried reaching you but the messaging function is hidden on your profile.

            • #37



              There are people out there who don't study and are able to find jobs. For example, there is this non-Muslim woman, she didn't study, but from working at a law firm, dealing with property, she went from basic office work and worked her way up, and now does the same work that qualified solicitors/lawyers do - all from experience.
              She didn't study at uni, didn't have to pay the high fees, and is not suffering from student debt which many people are stuck in, and Muslims included sadly.

              I'm NOT trying to put anyone off studying by the way, just to be clear. People should do Istikharah, in sha Allah, regarding their personal situations.

              But it is true, going to uni is a fitna in more ways than one.

              And it is also true that it's possible to avoid uni and get jobs by doing work-experience at a firm/company/place and impressing them such that they offer a job or starting off at a basic level and working oneself up, in sha Allah.



              May Allah look after you sister .khayriyyah., Ameen.




              Comment


              • #38
                Originally posted by Rahma. View Post



                There are people out there who don't study and are able to find jobs. For example, there is this non-Muslim woman, she didn't study, but from working at a law firm, dealing with property, she went from basic office work and worked her way up, and now does the same work that qualified solicitors/lawyers do - all from experience.
                She didn't study at uni, didn't have to pay the high fees, and is not suffering from student debt which many people are stuck in, and Muslims included sadly.

                I'm NOT trying to put anyone off studying by the way, just to be clear. People should do Istikharah, in sha Allah, regarding their personal situations.

                But it is true, going to uni is a fitna in more ways than one.

                And it is also true that it's possible to avoid uni and get jobs by doing work-experience at a firm/company/place and impressing them such that they offer a job or starting off at a basic level and working oneself up, in sha Allah.



                May Allah look after you sister .khayriyyah., Ameen.



                muslims should avoid law related jobs unless they have some knowledge on tawheed otherwise they could end up committing tahaakum and thus shirk

                Comment


                • #39
                  Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

                  muslims should avoid law related jobs unless they have some knowledge on tawheed otherwise they could end up committing tahaakum and thus shirk
                  I was just giving the example of how a NON-Muslim woman worked her way up without going to uni.

                  Comment


                  • #40
                    Originally posted by Rahma. View Post

                    I was just giving the example of how a NON-Muslim woman worked her way up without going to uni.
                    ok
                    just thought id let u know

                    Comment


                    • #41
                      Originally posted by Rahma. View Post



                      There are people out there who don't study and are able to find jobs. For example, there is this non-Muslim woman, she didn't study, but from working at a law firm, dealing with property, she went from basic office work and worked her way up, and now does the same work that qualified solicitors/lawyers do - all from experience.
                      She didn't study at uni, didn't have to pay the high fees, and is not suffering from student debt which many people are stuck in, and Muslims included sadly.

                      I'm NOT trying to put anyone off studying by the way, just to be clear. People should do Istikharah, in sha Allah, regarding their personal situations.

                      But it is true, going to uni is a fitna in more ways than one.

                      And it is also true that it's possible to avoid uni and get jobs by doing work-experience at a firm/company/place and impressing them such that they offer a job or starting off at a basic level and working oneself up, in sha Allah.



                      May Allah look after you sister .khayriyyah., Ameen.



                      Ameen. BarakAllahu feeki.
                      لا يؤخر الله أمراً إلا لخير
                      ولا يحرمك أمراً إلا لخير
                      ولا ينزل عليك بلاءً إلا لخير
                      فلا تحزن
                      فـرب الخير لا يأتي إلا بخير

                      Comment


                      • #42
                        Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post

                        Ameen. BarakAllahu feeki.
                        Ameen.

                        Khayriyyah, I just saw your comment about my PM function being hidden. For some reason, I did not get a notification of the comment.

                        I had my PM hidden prior to conversion to new platform, then turned it on. It must be stuck in between. I will PM this week. Sorry for the confusion.

                        Comment

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