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My heart is DEAD no more faith. Is there hope?

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  • My heart is DEAD no more faith. Is there hope?

    I've been struggling with hardships for the past 10 years since I was 14 and during that time I became very religious and close to Allah to the point that I was dedicated to Islam 100%. All the time whatever I did I was always thinking of God and praying 5 times and my life was happy even though I was suffering. My heart was filled with the joy islam and the hope for jannah. I felt like I had a purpose. My fear of God was high and I stayed away from haram to the best of my ability and was filled with love of quran and antthing to do with islam. Unfortunately in 2015 things started to get harder for me. I was getting sicker and sicker and my faith was being tested and becoming shakier. Although I still had iman in my heart and was still coping and praying and practising the religion. Then last year things took a turn for the worst and I began to get depressed and suicidal and I started getting angry with Allah and questioning him. "Why did he make me sick like this"? I started losing hope and eventually I woke up one morning and ALL MY IMAN WAS GONE!. I'm not kidding. All my love and hope for islam and God dissapeared overnight. I no longer had any desire to pray or do any action of Islam. My heart became empty and I no longer feel any sympathy, love or care about people and God. I spend the day sinning and watching girls and i have strong desire to sin and do every haram thing. Before every haram thing used to anger me and make me feel bad. Now it's the opposite. Everything that's haram I love and everything that's islamic I hate. I can't stand to listen to quran or see anything to do with islam. All I think about is satisfying my desires like sex and girls and money and food etc. Why did this happen?. How can I get my heart fixed and filled with iman again?. I tried to pray and repent for a few days but I just told myself that it's a waste of time God doesn't want me anymore. I know I'm a hypocrite and I read that hypocrites are doomed. So I always know that Islam is the truth but i'm scared that if I spend my whole life worshipping, what If on judgement day , God says you wasted your time I wont accept you because you are a munafiq. Should i just live my life and do what I want. or start Practising?. Will Allah even accpet me at this point?. I believe that Allah is the only God but I don't have any love for him or islam at this point. But I want to fix this and become how I used to be. Help.

  • #2
    Have you tried ruqya on yourself?
    وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

    And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


    أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

    Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


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    • #3
      No I haven't

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      • #4
        Originally posted by sadkid View Post
        I've been struggling with hardships for the past 10 years since I was 14 and during that time I became very religious and close to Allah to the point that I was dedicated to Islam 100%. All the time whatever I did I was always thinking of God and praying 5 times and my life was happy even though I was suffering. My heart was filled with the joy islam and the hope for jannah. I felt like I had a purpose. My fear of God was high and I stayed away from haram to the best of my ability and was filled with love of quran and antthing to do with islam. Unfortunately in 2015 things started to get harder for me. I was getting sicker and sicker and my faith was being tested and becoming shakier. Although I still had iman in my heart and was still coping and praying and practising the religion. Then last year things took a turn for the worst and I began to get depressed and suicidal and I started getting angry with Allah and questioning him. "Why did he make me sick like this"? I started losing hope and eventually I woke up one morning and ALL MY IMAN WAS GONE!. I'm not kidding. All my love and hope for islam and God dissapeared overnight. I no longer had any desire to pray or do any action of Islam. My heart became empty and I no longer feel any sympathy, love or care about people and God. I spend the day sinning and watching girls and i have strong desire to sin and do every haram thing. Before every haram thing used to anger me and make me feel bad. Now it's the opposite. Everything that's haram I love and everything that's islamic I hate. I can't stand to listen to quran or see anything to do with islam. All I think about is satisfying my desires like sex and girls and money and food etc. Why did this happen?. How can I get my heart fixed and filled with iman again?. I tried to pray and repent for a few days but I just told myself that it's a waste of time God doesn't want me anymore. I know I'm a hypocrite and I read that hypocrites are doomed. So I always know that Islam is the truth but i'm scared that if I spend my whole life worshipping, what If on judgement day , God says you wasted your time I wont accept you because you are a munafiq. Should i just live my life and do what I want. or start Practising?. Will Allah even accpet me at this point?. I believe that Allah is the only God but I don't have any love for him or islam at this point. But I want to fix this and become how I used to be. Help.
        Whatever you do, please don't give up. Don't allow shaytaan to trick you. It's understandable that as human being, our imaan goes up and down. But, don't allow those weak moments to destroy your everlasting life in the hereafter. It won't be worth it. Keep striving. may Allah make it easy for you. And, please, never doubt the Mercy of Allah. No matter what, you could never be too 'low' to deserve His mercy and forgiveness. Nothing you have done could make you less worthy. We have a chance every second of the way. Death is the only time that opportunity fades away; if we die in the wrong way at the wrong time that is. Again, keep striving and do NOT give up! May Allah make it easy for you.

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        • #5
          Beware :there are shaytans wearing masks of self-styled scholars also. They are most dangerous to Imaan.

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          • #6
            The fact that you think your heart is dead means it still has some life in it. Repent to Allah

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            • #7
              As long as you are alive there is hope because it means Allah (swt) has given you time to repent and change and return to Him. I can't fully remember how that quote goes but it's something like this: shaytaan's first trick is he tries to convince you to sin by saying "don't worry, Allah is merciful and will forgive you afterwards" and his second trick after you sin is to say "you have provoked Allah's wrath, you'll never be forgiven so it's not even worth it to try and turn things around". You've been tricked by shaytan to believe that you're such a mess that it's too late to change anything when in fact the only time it's too late to repent is when you're dead.

              This can be proven in the Quran time and time again that Allah loves those who turn in repentance. Just look at Prophet Yunus/Jonah (as): he actually disobeyed Allah's command and fled from his people yet Allah (swt) still gave him a second chance when he repented inside the whale. Islam isn't about never making mistakes or never committing sin cos' everyone at some point in their lives commits some sin or other- Islam is about still retaining the humility to turn back in repentance to Allah (swt), to do our best to rectify our mistakes and learn from them. You've been given that opportunity and in fact in some cases, even the sin is a blessing if it causes you to turn back in repentance and it is a greater blessing than one who performs all the worship and is then overtaken by riya, arrogance and self amazement which in itself can nullify the worship. So even your hardships and difficulties should be taken as an opportunity to become a better Muslim albeit in a different way compared to before.

              I agree that you probably need ruqya as I don't think you want your life to be devoid of imaan and full of sin. Regardless of whatever bad things you've thought or done, the fact that your intention is that you want that to change and you want to be better is very good and it means there's still hope for your yet. I don't believe that you have no imaan cos' people with no imaan want to persist in living without it whereas you want it back. There's so much more I can say about this but it'll take too long. By all means get back to me if you want to know more or have any further questions. I've been tested by poor health and all that as well so I know what that's like.
              The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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              • #8
                The Creator () created us and our actions. The Creator () is never absent and is actively creating creation.
                The Creator () never tires in our preservation. The Creator () created us to acknowledge / worship Him ().
                The Creator () is The Master of us creations and we are His () slaves. He () is the uncause cause, The Originator ().
                We had no will against being caused, we were caused to be by the will of the Creator ().
                Nor are we apart of Him (), we are a created soul residing in a body subject to a perfectly balanced caused universe with free choice, created from His () Word.
                The Creator () does not need our worship, rather He () is commanding us, as our Master () to His () creations to willingly obey and worship / acknowledge Him ().
                The Creator () certainly created people for Hell and they are those who have reason but do not use reason.

                Sunan an-Nasa'i 1128
                When the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) got up to offer voluntary prayers at night, he would say when he prostrated:
                O Allah, to You I have prostrated and in You I have believed and to You I have submitted. O Allah, You are my Lord. My face has prostrated to the One Who created it and formed it, and brought forth its hearing and sight. Blessed be Allah the best of Creators."


                Qur'an 16:98 - When thou dost read the Qur'an, seek Allah's protection from Satan the rejected one.

                "And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient. Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return."Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided. [Qur'an 2:155]

                [He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed - and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving [Qur'an 67:2]

                "Or you think that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty, ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who had faith with him said, 'When will the Help of Allah come?' Yes! Indeed Allah's help is close!" [Al-Qur'an 2:214]

                Do people think that on their mere claiming, “We have attained to faith,” they will be left to themselves, and will not be put to a test? (Quran 29:2)

                But as for a human, whenever his Sustainer tries him by His generosity and by letting him enjoy a life of ease, he says, “My Sustainer has been generous towards me”; whereas, whenever He tries him by tightening his means of livelihood, he says, “My Sustainer has disgraced me!” But nay. (Quran 89:15-17)

                So when they forgot that by which they had been reminded, We opened to them the doors of every [good] thing until, when they rejoiced in that which they were given, We seized them suddenly, and they were [then] in despair. (Quran 6:–44-45).

                Sahih al-Bukhari 5645
                Narrated Abu Huraira:
                Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials."

                Riyad as-Salihin Hadith 37
                Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:
                "Never a believer is stricken with a discomfort, an illness, an anxiety, a grief or mental worry or even the pricking of a thorn but Allah will expiate his sins on account of his patience".

                Only Allah () knows best.
                Last edited by tumbirs; 22-07-18, 11:30 AM.

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                • #9
                  But as for a human, whenever his Sustainer tries him by His generosity and by letting him enjoy a life of ease, he says, “My Sustainer has been generous towards me”; whereas, whenever He tries him by tightening his means of livelihood, he says, “My Sustainer has disgraced me!” But nay. (Quran 89:15-17)
                  Then, when they had forgotten all that they had been told to take to heart, We threw open to them the gates of all good things until even as they were rejoicing in what they had been granted. We suddenly took them to task: and lo! they were broken in spirit […] (Quran 6:44–45).
                  These two verses are describing me EXACTLY. It's as if it was written for me 1400 years ago. Because I was afflicted with calamity and it made me closer to Allah and it made me religious. My life was awesome I loved Allah and Islam. Then the tests and afflictions increased and I started to get inpatient and lose hope. My understanding became distorted. Why is this happening to me? I asked. I no longer believed god was doing this because he loved me. I actually believed that I was cursed and I continued to drift further and further until I accepted that I was doomed. And here I stand today with no faith no hope and full of regret broken in spirit just as the verse described. So my question is, is there hope for someone like me?. Are the people in these verses doomed or do they have a chance?. I need to know this so I can live an honest life. Because If I know for sure that I'm doomed then I can stop feeling guilty and accept that I'm a disbeliever and then I can live out whatever life I have left. But if there is hope, then I will do whatever it takes for Allah to accept me. Because right now I have no motivation to pray or do good deeds. I'm completely numb and empty inside.
                  Last edited by sadkid; 22-07-18, 02:47 AM.

                  Comment


                  • Fakhri
                    Fakhri commented
                    Editing a comment
                    My beloved brother, the way your mind is at this time, shayaateen will make you see things in a way that isn't correct. You will interpret aayaat and apply them on yourself and be blinded to other aayaat... Iblis is without hope of forgiveness, he wants us to also feel this way and will try to make us feel this way while he himself knows it isn't true.

                    You say those aayaat fit you perfectly. Have you looked at the tafseer of these aayaat, and the aayaat before and after? Has Allah Ta'aalaa seized you with destruction?

                    (which translation did you provided above? It seems unusual...)



                    Yes there is hope for you. You have to stop applying certain aayaat on yourself the way shayaateen would like you to.

                    You've said your heart is dead.

                    Allah Ta'aalaa revives the dead hearts:


                    أَلَمْ يَأْنِ لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَنْ تَخْشَعَ قُلُوبُهُمْ لِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ وَمَا نَزَلَ مِنَ الْحَقِّ وَلَا يَكُونُوا كَالَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ مِنْ قَبْلُ فَطَالَ عَلَيْهِمُ الْأَمَدُ فَقَسَتْ قُلُوبُهُمْ ۖ وَكَثِيرٌ مِنْهُمْ فَاسِقُونَ

                    "Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth? And let them not be like those who were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them, so their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly disobedient."


                    اعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ يُحْيِي الْأَرْضَ بَعْدَ مَوْتِهَا ۚ قَدْ بَيَّنَّا لَكُمُ الْآيَاتِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَعْقِلُونَ

                    "Know that Allah gives life to the earth after its lifelessness. We have made clear to you the signs; perhaps you will understand."

                    -Sura Al-Hadid, Ayaat 16-17



                    Tafseer Ibn Katheer:

                    (Know that Allah gives life to the earth after its death! Indeed We have made clear the Ayat to you, if you but understand.) This Ayah indicates that He brings subtleness to hearts after they have become hard, guides the confused after they were led astray, and relieves hardships after they have intensified. And just as Allah brings life back to the dead and dry earth by sending the needed abundant rain, He also guides the hardened hearts with the proofs and evidences of the Qur'an. The light (of faith) would have access to the hearts once again, after they were closed and, as a consequence, no guidance was able to reach them. All praise is due to Him Who guides whomever He wills after they were misguided, Who misguides those who were led aright before. Surely, it is He Who does what He wills and He is the All-Wise, the Most Just in all that He does, the Most Subtle, the Most Aware, the Most High, the Proud.)

                    You have hope, but if you choose to believe you don't, you yourself are placing yourself out of the rahmah and guidance of Allah Ta'aalaa. In that situation we only have ourselves to blame.

                    It's possible that as a result of the anger you directed towards Allah Ta'aalaa, He has allowed you to fall into this state of confusion and feeling without hope.

                    Make tawbah from despairing in Allah Ta'aalaa, and from these other sins. Perform your Salah, fulfil your obligations, engage in acts of good, it will likely take some time, but I'm quite sure, inshaa'Allah, you'll start find a sense of comfort and the feeling of acceptance again. Even if you fall short in places (you miss Salah, etc), make tawbah again and keep going.
                    Last edited by Fakhri; 24-07-18, 03:39 AM.

                • #10
                  Of course there is hope for you. Giving up completely and having no hope in Allah SWT is a sin. Allah is the Most Merciful. Sounds like Shaytaan is really trying to get the best of you.

                  Where is your family? Change your surroundings if you need to. Find someone to study under. Make the Quraan your best friend.

                  However, you need to understand one thing.. YOU need to start this change for yourself. No one will do it for you. Remember that inshaAllah.
                  الحق لا يعرف بالرجال، اعرف الحق تعرف رجاله

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                  • #11
                    Originally posted by sadkid View Post
                    [I]So my question is, is there hope for someone like me?. Are the people in these verses doomed or do they have a chance?
                    When thou dost read the Qur'an, seek Allah's protection from Satan the rejected one. (Qur'an 16:98)

                    Say, "Have you considered: if Allah should take away your hearing and your sight and set a seal upon your hearts, which deity other than Allah could bring them [back] to you?" Look how we diversify the verses; then they [still] turn away. (Qur'an 6:46)

                    Say, "Have you considered: if the punishment of Allah should come to you unexpectedly or manifestly, will any be destroyed but the wrongdoing people?" (Qur'an 6:47)

                    And We send not the messengers except as bringers of good tidings and warners. So whoever believes and reforms - there will be no fear concerning them, nor will they grieve. (Qur'an 6:48)


                    Bulugh al-Maram Hadith 1222
                    Ibn 'Umar (RAA) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
                    "Avoid these filthy practices which Allah, the Almighty has prohibited. He who commits any of these, should conceal with Allah's Most High Veil (i.e. should not speak about it), and should turn to Allah, the Most High in repentance, for if anyone uncovers his hidden sins (to us), we shall inflict on him the punishment prescribed by Allah, the Al-Mighty.

                    Sunan Ibn Majah Hadith 2227
                    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
                    "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. "

                    Sahih al-Bukhari 5673
                    Narrated Abu Huraira:
                    I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saying, "The good deeds of any person will not make him enter Paradise." (i.e., None can enter Paradise through his good deeds.) They (the Prophet's companions) said, 'Not even you, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)?' He said, "Not even myself, unless Allah bestows His favor and mercy on me." So be moderate in your religious deeds and do the deeds that are within your ability: and none of you should wish for death, for if he is a good doer, he may increase his good deeds, and if he is an evil doer, he may repent to Allah."

                    Only Allah () knows best.
                    Last edited by tumbirs; 22-07-18, 08:35 AM.

                    Comment


                    • #12
                      As I said before, as long as you are alive there is hope because it means you have been given a chance to repent for whatever happened before... but it is up to you to repent and to turn to Allah (swt)- none of us can fix that for you, you have to do that bit yourself. You seem to define yourself a lot by your actions but it seems to me that first you need to fix the bigger core issue of accepting and embracing Islam. If you believe in it, then start by reciting the shahada with an understanding of its meaning. I know your background is Muslim and you were already practising before, but say it anyway as a fresh start. Even if you pushed yourself to pray, your actions will feel meaningless until and unless you get to grips with accepting and believing in Islam. This is why when a person wants to convert, he is not told to go and do salah first, he (or she) is told to declare shahada first and THEN learn to carry out the fard actions such as wudhu and salah.

                      Bear in mind that we are not Christians. If you accept Islam and are convinced by it, that's great. Don't expect the entrance of some holy ghost, don't expect some spiritual high like your past has been cleansed etc- I mean if you do feel renewed like you're getting a fresh start then that's great, but if you don't feel that then don't become disheartened and don't let that put you off because the fact that in your mind and heart you've already made that declaration of shahada and are convinced by it, that is enough of a start as a statement of iman. Then the next thing is avoid sins, avoid haram things and if you like, try to find halal things to pass the time with. If you can't bear to listen to Quran or watch lectures then at least don't preoccupy your time with haram things and find something better to do like a hobby such as reading, sports, gardening, creative writing, travelling or whatever else that is halal and keeps you busy with stuff that keeps you away from whatever haram you were thinking about before. Do whatever fards you can and make sincere dua to do better, but if you are lacking one day and can't complete all your prayers then don't let that put you off from trying again and shaytan will tell you that your efforts are so inadequate that you will never be forgiven.... but bear in mind Allah (swt) forgave a prostitute for giving water to a thirsty dog and Allah (swt) forgave Khalid bin Walid who killed so many Muslims, even Sahaba (ra) so do you really think your mere inclinations towards wrongdoing are as "unforgiveable" as that? That is only shaytan trying to convince you to abandon your deen and Allah (swt) tests those He loves, so even the Prophets have been tested with such whispers and temptations.
                      The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                      Comment


                      • #13
                        Originally posted by sadkid View Post
                        [I]My understanding became distorted. Why is this happening to me?
                        It is not distorted, nothing happened to you, nor is your heart dead, nor that have no more faith, that is the real you that you concealed from yourself without reasoning with it or battling your nafs.

                        Last edited by tumbirs; 24-07-18, 05:20 AM.

                        Comment


                        • #14
                          Originally posted by tumbirs View Post
                          It is not distorted, nothing happened to you, nor is your heart dead, nor that have no more faith, that is the real you that you concealed from yourself without reasoning with it or battling your nafs.

                          I don't get it. What's the real me that I concealed?. Can you explain this to me. And I just started praying 5 times a day yesterday but I don't feel any connection. I find it hard to get motivation to pray because Im scared that Allah won't accept me and that I'm already going to hell so what's the point. How do I get motivation to pray and get rid of these thoughts?

                          Comment


                          • Fakhri
                            Fakhri commented
                            Editing a comment
                            Salah is something we owe to our Creator (SWT). Persist with your Salah whether you feel the connection and tranquility or not... Eventually, the connection in your Salah will return inshaa'Allah.

                        • #15
                          Originally posted by sadkid View Post
                          I was getting sicker and sicker and my faith was being tested and becoming shakier. Although I still had iman in my heart and was still coping and praying and practising the religion. Then last year things took a turn for the worst and I began to get depressed and suicidal and I started getting angry with Allah and questioning him. "Why did he make me sick like this"?
                          Last year I was abroad and I had extreme difficulty in breathing, I was a single breath away from death and I did not once call upon the name of Allah () in vain, in anger or ask why, rather I was patient with what Allah () had decreed for me. It lasted 3 weeks before it settled but something went wrong after that, I had taken a single dose of black box antibiotic 'Levaquin' (levofloxacin) due to wrong advise, in turn it paralysed me for a week on top of my breathing problems. I had lost tendon collagens further affecting my health, even then... I did not curse my fate, rather I blamed myself for my neglect in not preparing myself for the worst and I regret in making erroneous choices. Alhamdulillah, I had recovered after 6 months of back aches.

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