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How do you ask your parents to return your money without disrespecting them?

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  • How do you ask your parents to return your money without disrespecting them?

    My parents had a $20k debt that they were having difficulties paying back because of interest charges.

    I decided to help them out and paid everything off with my own money so they can avoid getting interest on their payments. I told them they don't have to return the full $20k.

    $10k is fine. They can pay as little as $300 every month. They agreed to that. Months passed, and they kept delaying it.

    They prioritize other things like buying new furnitures and traveling than paying me. I tried to talk to them, but they kept bringing excuses like "we need to pay other bills and buy food". I'm getting angrier and stressed everyday but I'm afraid to disrespect them out of fear of Allah.

    Thoughts?

  • #2
    You sure have a lot of drama going on in your life.

    Comment


    • #3
      Do you really need the money back? Sorry if that's a stupid question but if you are really desperate you can easily tell them that due to your circumstances you are struggling and need help. Otherwise, their your parents and they don't owe us anything. If it was a relative or a friend then this is really unacceptable. I understand your parents agreed they would give back the money but show them and tell them that you are very stressed and you could do with the help as furniture can wait. Technically, we the children are supposed to help them and that includes financially as well.
      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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      • #4
        You'll have their house when they are gone. Tell them you want your money back. Help them budget
        Last edited by shay5; 24-04-18, 02:58 PM.
        Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

        Comment


        • #5
          I have no doubt that if you let this go Allah will increase you in rizq and more then compensate you for it.

          I wish I had the means to pay off my mothers debts

          If you need money ask Allah and for your parents duas

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by shay5 View Post
            You'll have their house when they are gone. Or tell them the importance of paying off debt before death. Help them budget
            This is extremely selfish and greedy thinking. Parents are never in debt to their children

            Comment


            • #7
              I'm just bothered by their lack of concern. I feel like they are irresponsible with money, that is why they had this big debt in first place. They are concerned about buying new furniture and throwing parties in our house (the ones where families and friends gather to eat). They don't even make a gesture to pay me. At least, if you're not gonna pay me, do something productive or spend on more importent things. I feel like I've revealed too much. Just needed to vent a little.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by ibrahim8k View Post
                My parents had a $20k debt that they were having difficulties paying back because of interest charges.

                I decided to help them out and paid everything off with my own money so they can avoid getting interest on their payments. I told them they don't have to return the full $20k.

                $10k is fine. They can pay as little as $300 every month. They agreed to that. Months passed, and they kept delaying it.

                They prioritize other things like buying new furnitures and traveling than paying me. I tried to talk to them, but they kept bringing excuses like "we need to pay other bills and buy food". I'm getting angrier and stressed everyday but I'm afraid to disrespect them out of fear of Allah.

                Thoughts?
                You don't have a right to get angrier, we can't even frown at them, Give them more time and it would be better if you wiped the debt off completely.

                If I recall correctly there is a hadith which says to the effect that your father owns your wealth.

                And I'm sure they spent far more than 20k on you, so be patient and give them more time and speak to them kindly.


                جزاك الله خيرا
                http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Strivingbro View Post

                  This is extremely selfish and greedy thinking. Parents are never in debt to their children
                  He is the one who wants his money back. I edited the debt to parents.
                  Last edited by shay5; 24-04-18, 03:01 PM.
                  Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by ibrahim8k View Post
                    I'm just bothered by their lack of concern. I feel like they are irresponsible with money, that is why they had this big debt in first place. They are concerned about buying new furniture and throwing parties in our house (the ones where families and friends gather to eat). They don't even make a gesture to pay me. At least, if you're not gonna pay me, do something productive or spend on more importent things. I feel like I've revealed too much. Just needed to vent a little.
                    Tell them its haram to get interest and also the importance of paying off debt before death.
                    Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by ibrahim8k View Post
                      I'm just bothered by their lack of concern. I feel like they are irresponsible with money, that is why they had this big debt in first place. They are concerned about buying new furniture and throwing parties in our house (the ones where families and friends gather to eat). They don't even make a gesture to pay me. At least, if you're not gonna pay me, do something productive or spend on more importent things. I feel like I've revealed too much. Just needed to vent a little.
                      give them good advice and warn them about Riba akhi. Not much else you can do about it, many parents unfortunately thinking more of the dunya than the Akhira.

                      Jazakallahu khair.
                      http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                      "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                      – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                      Comment


                      • #12

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          https://islamqa.info/en/4282

                          In light of the above, its best if he wipes of that 10k debt.

                          جزاك الله خيرا
                          http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                          "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                          – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                          Comment

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