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Disliking your own dad

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  • Disliking your own dad

    assalamu haleikum.

    i wanted to talk about a problem,so my dad is being really bad with me,he has thing that when he speaks he makes you lose hope i dont know but he is a hypocrite he doesent believe in the afterlife and is really old,im being always respectful and obedient with him and some times he becomes like firaun,even when i didnt do anything he needs to find a way to insult me and to even beat me,
    my mom was doing something on his wardrobe and she did something and the wardrobe broke after some hours my dad came from job to make a shower and he saw that and he kept insulting me then he said go to hell verily he's the one who will abode therein forever also i spoke with him nicely and respectfully i told him i tried to reassemble it then he insulted me and then my mom told him i broke it and he said nothing to her,he then asked her for some clothes,
    this dad hates me,a day my mom said your last children are better than the first ones (he divorced)
    so he said the first ones were better and he said if i knew i would give birth to such people i wouldnt give birth to him,
    my dad used to beat my mom everytime and drink khamr,he stopped but his hypocrisy is still in him,this is really bad a day he started practicing just praying not seeking knowledge and i think it might be not true but he did just to have sex with my mom,only Allah knows best,
    dude this man always haves relationship with my mom and when my mom is busy he becomes angry he has no shame tho he says to have *** directly even my little sister knows what they do,
    i dislike even talking with him it's like talking to an enemy,
    i remember that a day he choked me for i dont know what reason,because he thinks im better than him
    dude i dont care my Allah give him the worst punishments amen,
    he never prays,i remember his brother asked him do you pray he said im sick so i cant pray,what excuse....
    he believes theres no afterlife if i had the chance id live somewhere else,
    i know Allah told us to be respectful with out parents but he is a kafir hypocrite,
    i saw a pc that was really cheap 100 euros and it had 8gb ram!! and 250 storage i asked my mom to buy it,
    she asked the dad he said he has already one and theyre same,my pc has 1gb ram and it has windows xp icon in it and its really old,dude i just want him to shut up i cant live with such problems,i never find peace when he is at home just when he leaves i pray not silently,he is annoying everytime i speak he has to say his bs,

    dude its like having firaun for father he even challenged Allah a day,my mom said to him to fear him he idk what he said but my mom told him your an ant,

    no doubts he is a kafir and he is going to hell,i have a clear sign that Allah gave me
    sometimes i feel mercy in my heart and i feel bad that he is going to hell forever,i even think to make him pray since ramadan is coming,but Allah showed me his real self he's an hypocrite then my mercy vanishes i always behave good with him and i have mercy in my heart i forget and forgive then he becomes a hypocrite and threatens me,

    ​​​​when he speaks he speaks in a way that is like (im gonna beat you to death)

    he even tells my mom to dont talk to me and that im mentally sick,he is an hypocrite he tells my mom to behave good with me then he says i dont care about him,

    he doesent care about me,
    surely Allah is severe in punishment,

    ​​​​​​he is an hypocrite he says la hawla wala quwwata illa billah he perceives it as something to say rather to praise Allah,

    and my mom....
    what can i say picture me a practicing muslim living
    with a kafir and a sorcerer and my sister that dont even want to be muslim,just picture me,

    my mom is an evil deceiver she is trying to deceive my dads brother in committing shirk,i found proof she is a sorcerer cause im a man of proof ive even found that she believes the hand of fatima ra will protect her...
    and my dad that is like firaun,he sometimes makes fun of me in a way that is humiliating like im mentally sick i need friends,dude he doesent even know english and i do,and he is moroccan,

    ​​​​​​i still reflect that Allah guided me when i was in the most miserable times of my life,picture everyone in house is a kafir except a person whom Allah choosed,
    my mom dont even praying saying al fatiha idk a day i saw her praying without chair then she prays always with a chair,

    sometimes i get toughts like i should commit suicide and come back to Allah,

    tho he smokes a lot only Allah knows how much he spends for cigarettes,
    smoking is useless youre killing yourself,

    too i live in a environment containing shirk since my mom is a sorcerer,
    what i want is to come back to Allah,the life is too hard,
    theres this doctor whom wants to give me sleeping pills she commanded me to take it or she recovers me in hospital yahudubillah,
    see how i am miserable if i dont take the drugs i will be recovered i have to lie to avoid being recovered astaghfgirullah,that will make me delay prayers

    what should i do have no way to exit this problem if not to be patient and wait,actually i made a firm intention to stop some sins and i really did it i lost interest for it but somehow when i stopped i had farting incontinence plus doubts and pre ejaculation fluid exiting everytime,i cant even go to 2 raka without having a doubt of wind or that wadi exited from me,see when i stop something bad i get tested really bad,

    my dream is to have a practicing wife whom will give kids who will be good muslims and that everyone in my house praises Allah,that is my dream just that i never asked Allah something material just help in bad situations and help was granted to me when i coulndt resist more and i was hopeless,

    in morocco theres a lot of sihr,so people fight sihr with sihr i wish i saw some sorcerer and started lashing her with a belt until she takes the sahada or until she learned the lesson,

    also we go to morocco almost every year and im going this year if Allah grants so because we live near a mosque really near the mosque is really big my dream would be to live there just worshipping Allah,

    when i was little i used to be harrassed by jinns cause my mom was doing sihr so when i grew up i still was harrassed by jinns,so a day a jinn came and i sought refuge in Allah and mashAllah that is the bayyinah.
    jinns and black magic took me to islam,with the riba based phone i had mashAllah,see how i was corrupted,

    the summary is that i wanna change life how im supposed to live like this,
    also make dua to me my problems will be solved and i be in jannah inshAllah,and that i learn quran as i am doing hifz when i have time