Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

The (Dreaded) Handshake.

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #31
    Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
    It's tough. I usually avoid any scenario where it may occur, but sometimes it gets sprung on you. In the few times that I explained to them why I couldn't, they took it well, all things considered.
    How did you explain it? What did you say?

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by Jumpski View Post
      I don't know I just flap my arms by the side and just run away


      but in all seriousness here's a good vid by a Jewish woman on how to avoid the dread

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cixWcl3inU4
      I only found out recently that Jews avoid handshakes too.

      Thanks for the link, will check it out In Sha Allaah.

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
        Slap them.
        The whole idea is to avoid touching.

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by Fakhri View Post
          "Sorry*, but I'm not permitted to shake hands... religious reasons, but it's wonderful / very nice / good to meet you..." Etc, etc... With a little bit extra in explanation if it seems it's needed. Body language and tone obviously important.

          Sometimes people seem a bit taken aback or even slightly embarrassed, but that can't really be helped.

          I did have one instance years ago where things happened so quickly, I found myself asking myself what on earth happened there? right after. (Was an estate agent just about to leave, talking in a hurry...). Since then I've been very careful, tbh. Alhamdulillah. Not too much of a problem anymore. Then again, I'm not really in the position very often these days, thankfully.

          What's more of a problem I've found is the eye contact. Seems sometimes people (women here of course) become quite agitated by a man not looking at them in the face despite them being spoken to politely and in a manner clearly lacking any apparent ill-will.

          Again, not really too much we can do there.


          (*Sorry as in sorry that you might be feeling this way as a result of your being unaware. Not sorry that I can't shake your hand because of the command of my Creator (SWT), na'oothu billah.)

          ​​​​​​




          That's the thing - when we apologise, it makes it as though we are apologising for our 'beliefs'. Like you said at the end, it's the command of our Creator.

          Should we even be saying 'Sorry'? Or should we just say, 'I don't do handshakes as part of my faith, I hope you understand' and then continue?

          Either way - we'll still be labelled sexist, or misogynist (if you're a man).


          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by Nawar View Post

            Usually this is how it transpires for me too.
            Does it work well?

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by Demure View Post
              I used to be more steadfast when it comes to not shaking the hand of the oppsite gender when I was younger, granted it used to be much easier back then. I didn't work.
              Unfortunately, I fail to not shake hands.
              I had a pretty bad experience one year ago and it instilled fear in me that the next person I'll reject will react the same way that person did. It's definetely no excuse, may Allah s.w.t. forgive me.

              i do use the avoidance trick though, it works sometimes and it's such a relief when it does.
              How did the man react? (If you don't mind sharing that is).

              It's more intimidating and emotional for a woman to reject handshakes.


              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by Strivingbro View Post
                This can be tricky

                When I had my interview for the job I'm doing now I emailed the HR people in advance to let them know I won't be shaking hands with any females due to religious reasons, they were perfectly fine with it alhamdulillah
                Alhamdulillaah. So not everyone is completely ignorant and 'anti -Mozlem'.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                  From personal experiences the men get embarrassed when I decline it and it's always awkward for them no matter what

                  I keep my distance and nod my head and say 'sorry, I don't shake hands' and we quickly get over it as it feels like an awkward moment for both parties so we just want to forget and get to the point.

                  it's much harder when there is more than one man, again, I keep my distance and put on a dopey smiley face (nothing flirty, besides I don't look like that type either) and take my sit asap

                  I adjust how I behave depending on the scenario, sometimes I don't even say anything and 'blank' the hand shake.




                  Good on you.

                  It's awkward for everyone involved to be honest.

                  I think you're right though - just say No Handshakes. So no one is 'left out' and there is equality between different genders.


                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
                    Wear niqab and gloves, most men will be so horrified by the sight of you or just so awkward that they won't even attempt shaking hands.

                    ​​​​​​Never had a problem with this with non muslim men. I have more of a problem with some distant male relatives who think it's ok to hug and stuff, wherever I find this problem i'm usually very direct about it, I don't care if someone finds me rude, I don't care how many people are watching, they're my hands, I choose who shakes them. It's not a big deal at all but Muslims make it out like it's rocket science. You don't need a million different 'tricks'. Just say "no, I don't shake hands". And if they persist, tell them to get lost.
                    If only it was that simple.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
                      I have a few stories, back in school the boys used to think it was some kind of game, every other day outside class there would be a bunch of idiots sticking their hands out thinking maybe today will be the day she finally gives in lol. I was the only muslim. I always ignored them, I was always seen as the weirdo. One day one of the guys decided he would touch me without my permission, I screamed the whole building down and went crazy at him. He never ever bothered me again.
                      As Ya'sin said, it can be hard being the only Muslim, and a girl at that, in school. And some people really take harassment too far.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

                        Uh. Okay. That sounds disgusting. (No offense).
                        Thats the whole point
                        they wont shake my hand after that

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

                          That's the thing - when we apologise, it makes it as though we are apologising for our 'beliefs'. Like you said at the end, it's the command of our Creator.

                          Should we even be saying 'Sorry'? Or should we just say, 'I don't do handshakes as part of my faith, I hope you understand' and then continue?

                          Either way - we'll still be labelled sexist, or misogynist (if you're a man).

                          True. It's not ideal, but if we are clear in our minds beforehand... Some sorries aren't really apologies at all...''sorry for your loss', 'I'm sorry to hear that...' in those situations it's not an apology at all really, as sister is fully aware of course, just acknowledgement, a courtesy, etc.

                          Still, we could always avoid saying it altogether by just saying what sister has mentioned, or similar..., ''oh, we're not actually allowed to shake hands with men, for religious reasons, but it's... (Insert suitable pleasantry)."



                          I haven't read all the posts... I wonder if sister has mentioned the incident that prompted this thread.

                          LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
                          -------------------------------
                          "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
                          NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

                            How did you explain it? What did you say?
                            I just explained to them politely that it was against my religion.

                            Comment

                            Working...
                            X