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worldwide explorer. She lived in a
fantasy world entertained in her soul by
books and movies. For many years,
like her, I had believed that I could stop
everything anytime then start again
afresh. I believed there were several
lives in me, that I just had to choose
between the options. I thought I could
make mistakes one day and make it up
later, that people would give me a
second chance. I am not convinced of
this anymore, and this knowledge gives
me some sort of wisdom to depend
upon. I watched Sophie in her leotard,
how attractive to the eyes she was, and
to the hearts. However, I was not
certain the best way to the heart was
through the eyes. I was so happy to be
the opposite of her. I would look upon
her with pity and she would look upon
me with pity. She would say:
"You're not too hot in these clothes?"
"Well, surely not as hot as you," I joked.
"Why do you always wear these over-over sized tee-shirts that you have to fold the
sleeves ten times over before one can see your hands through? And those baggy
trousers look really like flat tires on you! You would look very nice in a better fitting
jog suit. Let your body breathe! Free yourself!"
I smiled because she could not understand how free I felt, free of embarrassment when
somebody would detail my body, judging me by my looks, not reaching for the soul! I
smiled because this reminded me that one day I had been like her.
But after all, she was free to choose for herself. Who was I to judge?
She chatted now with the man we had met at the entrance of the Recreational
Center. They were stretching. Sophie rested on the wall, taking poses she knew were
cute. She was sticking a few hair into her mouth and pulling them out, wet, pondering.
I often wondered if or not Sophie was busy questioning the reasons of her being alive,
her purpose on earth, the beauty of Nature, the miracle of everything. I did not really
know what was in her head, and that was normal among sisters. I just knew it was not
the time for her yet to look back, or was it? She probably was at a stage in her life she
only wanted to have fun. I watched her seating on the mat, near the man. They looked
like strangers who wanted to reach for each other but did not dare it yet. Ten years
ago, I would have been different, much closer to Sophie. I would have been ready to
win the world, to reach everything I set my mind on doing. Of course, any mistake
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seemed like the end of the world. Yes,
growing older was growing out of all
this; growing older was growing happy
wings. Everything reasonable was
possible now!
The Malaysian girl, Nur Adhan,
appeared next to Sophie. She had again
this gentle smile on her face that
lighted up the entire room, or so it
seemed. I was not the kind to be
spying on my sister, but I liked to make
sure she was ok. Besides, everything
touching her touched me. So, when
Nur arrived on the spot, I felt intrigued.
She soon unfolded something from her
backpack. Something was definitely
going on there. A few words had
apparently been exchanged between the
three of them, but the scene seemed
intense. Their faces looked like frozen
leaves that had been turned over by the
wind. Their cheeks appeared slightly flushed and their eyes were beaming as if their
sparks had been fed with new reflections. Now Sophie was smiling in the face of the
man, and he seemed transfigured with joy.
Photo courtesy of Bernhard Loersch: http://www.tamanrasset.de
I could not resist the temptation to join them. And, suddenly, as I approached,
their bodies seemed to detach themselves from the ground; the shadows around them
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