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  1. #1
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    How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Asalamualakum

    What shall I explain here is

    1. What happened

    2.. How I handled this emotionally?

    .3.Signs Allah gave me to show she was not right woman before

    Introduction
    Previously I made a post regarding I was hurt abit . So basically I was speaking to this girl for 2 years ( Yes its haram May Allah forgive me ameen) I met her twice she loved me so much I loved her alot. In the 2 meetings Alhamdulilah I did not even touch her never mind kiss I feared Allah though I committed sin in meeting her. I protected her virginity aswell for marriage tht was my intention. I told my dad recently about the marriage he was ready to speak to her father.


    1. What happened

    So we knew each other for 2 years very very close anyways 2 weeks ago she blocked me she said she has done something wrong forgive me good bye blocked. This left me in a state of confusion non stop thinking all day night whts gone on I could not eat sleep etc.


    2. A day before I did dua to Allah help me find out whts gone on she randomly unblocks me adds me .
    To get the point across she did not commit zina but she fell in love with another man who has been speaking to her for maybe 1 month I am not sure . I am not even sure when we were speaking was she still speaking to him .

    She explained to me how "nice" this guy is he took me out to eat he cares for me lol she said he wants to marry me he will be speaking to my parents soon etc . She even said he hugged her kissed her. Yet she thinks hes pious.

    When she told me Wallahi Allah hu akbar I did not get affected emotionally I just do not know why . My heart did not break . Now why is this ?

    We need the love connection of Allah in our hearts BEFORE ANYONE and STRONG love connection
    Also never ever ever fall deep in love with a woman you are speaking to online

    Based upon the 2 above I kept strong Alhamdulilah


    3. She started lacking in her salahs to an extent sometimes missing all 5 sometimes 1 a day etc. Based upon this I warned her start praying she still lacked.

    1. 1st sign- I raised my hands to Allah show me a sign if she is right one guide me if she is not show me then 1 week later thats when she blocked me . For me tht was enough of a sign but I kept asking for more n more signs,

    2. Randomly on Friday teacher was speaking about trust how people are untrustworthy when the lecture is about web development nothing about trust but he somehow manged to link trust in though not relevant this made think hmm.

    3. On same day I go in computer room and friend say read this on screen it said relationships can change or break but trust in God always ( he does not know anything whats gone on)

    When I read tht on screen I was like wow.

    4. I scrolled down on facebook and read on Islamic page which said wife has blocked me . I clicked on it it was quite relevant to my situation .

    5. I did dua help me find out whats gone on then today she unblocked me told me.

    More signs were given aswell


    Now this is where the questions come

    I am a man who is loyal I do not speak to women I do not watch porn alhamdulilah I do not speak to women on social media ( I do have a very high desire though) I was very loyal to her. She
    was not . The guy who she is with now is not even a virgin and he hugged her yet she thinks hes the right guy lol

    The question is

    Can I do dua to Allah to take revenge on my behalf ?



    Do you think it is a good idea to let the man know she cheated on me before he marries her?
    Last edited by muslim4life76; 12-11-17 at 11:06 PM.

  2. #41
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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tayoofa View Post
    You must say astaghfirullah because you can't make assumptions of her ....you don't know her situation maybe at first she was good person but then got into fitnah and shaytan played on her ..

    No one is saved from shaytan except those whom Allah SWT protect them and Allah said to the one who had more knowledge of Him than anyone else and was closer to Him Muhammad PBUH :

    ( “And if We had not strengthened you, you would have almost inclined to them a little.”) Quran 17:74

    So we should say this duaa whenever we see someone afflicted by fitnah

    The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “Whoever sees a person afflicted and say: ‘All praise is due to Allah Who saved me from that which He has afflicted you with, and blessed me greatly over many of those whom He has created, (Al-ḥamdulillāhi alladhī `āfānī mimmabtalāka bihī wa faḍḍalanī `alā kathīrin mimman khalaqa tafḍīla)’ then he shall be saved from that affliction for as long as he lives.”

    Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3431 .. Grade : Hasan according to sheikh Al-Albani in Sahih at-Tirmidhi
    For 1 yr she was praying salah tahajud very good girl all of sudden she told me she stopped praying fajr then few months later couple of salahs missed till she started to miss all 5 at times.

    I got angry and warned her if u do not pray Il leave u etc. I think it is the university this is the fitna. I warned her beforehand be careful from men in university. She is raised in a strict Muslim family. She was not even allowed a phone cannot go out no facebook nothing. So many restrictions and she used to complain about these restrictions. As soon as she stepped into university this is wht happened.

  3. #42
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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
    Trust me a couple sweet words and probably a meal deal with an extra 50p drink
    ahahah Yes

  4. #43
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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by _Sapphire View Post
    Oh no, none of that sounds sensible.
    Were you engaged? If not, then she didn't cheat on you, unless your were dating which is haram, regardless of whether close physical contact happened or not. You see, she didn't change habits mostly, simply the person. Instead of you- it was him. Only the people changed, but the behaviour changed. She was doing haram before with you, now she is with him.
    Second of all, be thankful she's gone because it's apparent she didn't love you for the sake of Allah. If she truly loved you, she would've stayed with you.. and if you two were both clear on getting married, she would have stayed. It's apparent that you were simply a means of her entertainment, as brutal as it sounds.
    My advice is: Forget the girl, and delete your social media accounts because they will bring you no good(And if they're necessary, leave the most important one for work or whatever it is you need it for). You are wasting your time thinking about her. She is gone and you have to accept that. Taking revenge is petty and childish. If you're upset, find another outlet.
    Also, now is the time to better yourself. Try to be the person you want to marry. Work on improving yourself Islamically, morally and mentally now that you should have more free time. Do tawbah because none of us are sin free. Don't let her or anyone else have that kind of hold on you to the point where you cant eat or sleep.
    Don't rush into a relationship or try to get married quickly in retaliation either, because you won't feel better, nor will it be fair on the other person. Work on yourself now, and once you've changed and have a better mindset; get married.
    No but she really wanted to marry me and I wanted to . I told my dad etc. She was very serious about it aswell.

    The type of woman I want for marriage it is very very hard to find please make dua I find the woman I want to marry .

  5. #44
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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by SisterTA View Post
    I really hate to break it to you, but often times, people are attracted to the opposite of themselves.

    So say a girl is like uber conservative and sweet and chilled etc. she's often times going to be attracted to a guy who is quite the opposite, as in outgoing extroverted, fun to be around, someone who brightens up her day.


    It seems to me like this girl did not cheat on you but rather she just kept her options open, which btw, isn't necessarily a wrong thing to do. She didn't have any loyalty to you as you were not engaged, and even then even if you are engaged, she still has the right to cut things off if she doesn't feel its right for her.


    You can't blame her and ask Allah to 'take revenge' on your behalf? What for? Because you feel a bit butt-hurt that a sister chose another guy over you?

    Also, trying to sabatoge things for her will not get you anywhere at all. It will make you look pathetic, insecure, and make her lose any if all respect she had for you.

    Cut her loose. Block and delete her contact information on everything and move on. You will get nowhere with revenge and you will certainly get no where with feeling sorry for yourself and trying to ruin things for this girl.
    Off course she cheated on me lol saying I will marry you I will never ever fall for other men etc and she actually did love me . She even was so guilty when she told me that she said " istill want to be your friend " ahahah Im like wht did she just say and i Blocked her .

    But she lied to me thts the thing so she has wronged me .

  6. #45
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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    Off course she cheated on me lol saying I will marry you I will never ever fall for other men etc and she actually did love me . She even was so guilty when she told me that she said " istill want to be your friend " ahahah Im like wht did she just say and i Blocked her .

    But she lied to me thts the thing so she has wronged me .
    Sounds like a master manipulator, probably gonna ruin the life of the next guy she is with. Count yourself lucky she got her claws into someone else; I bet the other guy is richer than you too. Thank God you got out when you did.

  7. #46
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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deen95 View Post
    Sounds like a master manipulator, probably gonna ruin the life of the next guy she is with. Count yourself lucky she got her claws into someone else; I bet the other guy is richer than you too. Thank God you got out when you did.
    Alhamdulilah I think the day when she lacked salah her iman started falling more and more which then led to less fear of Allah to the extent that she called him a ( Nice guy and she said he repented from zina ) ahaha

    But then he hugged her so if he truly repented he would not of kissed you


    Yet when I met her I did nothing and she complained to me lol I could of but only because of fear of Allah and even the fact her family she is raised in a strict respectable family. I just know this so called relationship now will break into pieces soon in sha Allah

    I dont care now about the girl shes gone i dont even love her i still respect her she is a nice girl in a sense in terms of character. But I wish for it to collapse so she understands how some men really are just some kind words she fell for it then when she begs me she will be blocked then she will truly regret what she did.

  8. #47
    Odan Abu julaybeeb's Avatar
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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    No but she really wanted to marry me and I wanted to . I told my dad etc. She was very serious about it aswell.

    The type of woman I want for marriage it is very very hard to find please make dua I find the woman I want to marry .
    Akhi realise this girl may have not committed any major sin before but her mentality was not good and she didnt seem to fear Allah frm what it seems

    It seems she was just restricted and pressured to be like this due to family and was trying to break free whenever possible
    She wanted to be with someone that was u and since u wanted to keep it halal
    When someone else gave her the opportunity and was willing to take it a step further she bounced towards it
    Shes not a good girl sorry to say if she did it would taken alot longer than a month and a lot more than a couple sweet words she wants that lifestyle face it

    A serious girl would have resisted every action from any man if she truely cared about you
    Again say alhamdullilah u didnt marry her shes not worth it

    Make duaa and inshAllah you will be blessed with a good wife

    Just one thing stop thinking so much about beauty and look more at charachter
    It seems u forgot that in this girls case

  9. #48
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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
    Akhi realise this girl may have not committed any major sin before but her mentality was not good and she didnt seem to fear Allah frm what it seems

    It seems she was just restricted and pressured to be like this due to family and was trying to break free whenever possible
    She wanted to be with someone that was u and since u wanted to keep it halal
    When someone else gave her the opportunity and was willing to take it a step further she bounced towards it
    Shes not a good girl sorry to say if she did it would taken alot longer than a month and a lot more than a couple sweet words she wants that lifestyle face it

    A serious girl would have resisted every action from any man if she truely cared about you
    Again say alhamdullilah u didnt marry her shes not worth it

    Make duaa and inshAllah you will be blessed with a good wife

    Just one thing stop thinking so much about beauty and look more at charachter
    It seems u forgot that in this girls case


    Akhi I 100% agree with u

    U are saying the same thing as my cousin and friends.

    She fell for it because that guy offered her to take her out buy her food and even hug her and say I want to marry u she fell for that . She did not fear Allah .

    She is not a good girl u are right she even admitted it to me shes not good she said there are other women far better than her u can marry .


    Yes all because I only met her twice and that guy she met more than twice thts why she fell for it.

    Ameen

    I am 20 beauty is 1st thing on my head . Ok she does not have to be 10/10 atleast 6/10-7/10

    I will do dua u make dua for me aswell and I shall do dua for you tht Allah blesses u and answers all your duas ameen

    Allah showed me 2 many signs she was wrong

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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    Akhi I 100% agree with u

    U are saying the same thing as my cousin and friends.

    She fell for it because that guy offered her to take her out buy her food and even hug her and say I want to marry u she fell for that . She did not fear Allah .

    She is not a good girl u are right she even admitted it to me shes not good she said there are other women far better than her u can marry .


    Yes all because I only met her twice and that guy she met more than twice thts why she fell for it.

    Ameen

    I am 20 beauty is 1st thing on my head . Ok she does not have to be 10/10 atleast 6/10-7/10

    I will do dua u make dua for me aswell and I shall do dua for you tht Allah blesses u and answers all your duas ameen

    Allah showed me 2 many signs she was wrong
    Say alhamdullilah Allah saved you
    Focus on becoming a better muslim learn about islam
    And when time comes Allah will provide
    Akhi im the same age lol

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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    Asalamualakum

    What shall I explain here is

    1. What happened

    2.. How I handled this emotionally?

    .3.Signs Allah gave me to show she was not right woman before

    Introduction
    Previously I made a post regarding I was hurt abit . So basically I was speaking to this girl for 2 years ( Yes its haram May Allah forgive me ameen) I met her twice she loved me so much I loved her alot. In the 2 meetings Alhamdulilah I did not even touch her never mind kiss I feared Allah though I committed sin in meeting her. I protected her virginity aswell for marriage tht was my intention. I told my dad recently about the marriage he was ready to speak to her father.


    1. What happened

    So we knew each other for 2 years very very close anyways 2 weeks ago she blocked me she said she has done something wrong forgive me good bye blocked. This left me in a state of confusion non stop thinking all day night whts gone on I could not eat sleep etc.


    2. A day before I did dua to Allah help me find out whts gone on she randomly unblocks me adds me .
    To get the point across she did not commit zina but she fell in love with another man who has been speaking to her for maybe 1 month I am not sure . I am not even sure when we were speaking was she still speaking to him .

    She explained to me how "nice" this guy is he took me out to eat he cares for me lol she said he wants to marry me he will be speaking to my parents soon etc . She even said he hugged her kissed her. Yet she thinks hes pious.

    When she told me Wallahi Allah hu akbar I did not get affected emotionally I just do not know why . My heart did not break . Now why is this ?

    We need the love connection of Allah in our hearts BEFORE ANYONE and STRONG love connection
    Also never ever ever fall deep in love with a woman you are speaking to online

    Based upon the 2 above I kept strong Alhamdulilah


    3. She started lacking in her salahs to an extent sometimes missing all 5 sometimes 1 a day etc. Based upon this I warned her start praying she still lacked.

    1. 1st sign- I raised my hands to Allah show me a sign if she is right one guide me if she is not show me then 1 week later thats when she blocked me . For me tht was enough of a sign but I kept asking for more n more signs,

    2. Randomly on Friday teacher was speaking about trust how people are untrustworthy when the lecture is about web development nothing about trust but he somehow manged to link trust in though not relevant this made think hmm.

    3. On same day I go in computer room and friend say read this on screen it said relationships can change or break but trust in God always ( he does not know anything whats gone on)

    When I read tht on screen I was like wow.

    4. I scrolled down on facebook and read on Islamic page which said wife has blocked me . I clicked on it it was quite relevant to my situation .

    5. I did dua help me find out whats gone on then today she unblocked me told me.

    More signs were given aswell


    Now this is where the questions come

    I am a man who is loyal I do not speak to women I do not watch porn alhamdulilah I do not speak to women on social media ( I do have a very high desire though) I was very loyal to her. She
    was not . The guy who she is with now is not even a virgin and he hugged her yet she thinks hes the right guy lol

    The question is

    Can I do dua to Allah to take revenge on my behalf ?



    Do you think it is a good idea to let the man know she cheated on me before he marries her?
    Your the same person with almost certain porn addiction, who didn't lower their Gaze and created a dirty thread about your wife, after you created this one about yoi girlfriend cheating on you?

    You should be banned.
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
    Your the same person with almost certain porn addiction, who didn't lower their Gaze and created a dirty thread about your wife, after you created this one about yoi girlfriend cheating on you?

    You should be banned.
    Astagfurilah Astagfurilah Astagfurilah WALLAHI WALLAHI WALLAHI I DO NOT WATCH PORN AT ALL HOW DARE YOU ASSUME something like that FEAR Allah.

    I always lower my gaze Alhamdulilah if I see a beautiful woman on the street I do not feel excited nothing I do not get any joy in looking.

    U should sincerely repent to Allah

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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    She complained to me why did u not touch me when I met her so many times I lost my temper at her aswell on this.
    She offcourse wanted to get touched if she didnt she would not let tht guy touch him
    :O, good men are for good women and bad men are for bad women, Allah saw u as better.

  14. #53
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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    Astagfurilah Astagfurilah Astagfurilah WALLAHI WALLAHI WALLAHI I DO NOT WATCH PORN AT ALL HOW DARE YOU ASSUME something like that FEAR Allah.

    I always lower my gaze Alhamdulilah if I see a beautiful woman on the street I do not feel excited nothing I do not get any joy in looking.

    U should sincerely repent to Allah
    How did you lower your gaze and manage to get a girlfriend to Cheat on you?

    The very fact that you had a Girlfriend proves that you did not Lower your gaze.

    you remember this thread as well right?

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...ive&highlight=

    this thread indicates a high probability of porn addiction, and definite lack of lowering ones gaze.

    you must think we are all so Gullible,


    may Allah azzawajal rectify your conduct and affairs.

    ameen.
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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    Odan Medic's Avatar
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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
    How did you lower your gaze and manage to get a girlfriend to Cheat on you?

    The very fact that you had a Girlfriend proves that you did not Lower your gaze.

    you remember this thread as well right?

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...ive&highlight=

    this thread indicates a high probability of porn addiction, and definite lack of lowering ones gaze.

    you must think we are all so Gullible,


    may Allah azzawajal rectify your conduct and affairs.

    ameen.
    In reply to your vm - I did read his other thread. I think you need to stop making so many assumptions.

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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Medic View Post
    In reply to your vm - I did read his other thread. I think you need to stop making so many assumptions.
    it's not about assumptions, the one who whines about not liking his wife's body has 9/10 times failed to lower their gaze and lusted after other women.

    this thread also proves that he did not lower his gaze,
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
    it's not about assumptions, the one who whines about not liking his wife's body has 9/10 times failed to lower their gaze and lusted after other women.

    this thread also proves that he did not lower his gaze,
    If you can't prove he watches porn then you should just be quiet with all the "it's highly probably you watch it" talk because that's still slander.

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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Assalamu Alaykum brother!

    I am sorry to hear what you have been through. It can be tempting to seek revenge, but know that you will not gain anything out of it. It will not bring you any satisfaction to see her in pain. Infact, this desire for revenge can keep you stuck in it. However, at the same time, if someone has been wronged, Allah (swt) is Just. Just leave it up to Him (swt). I think the way she is going about it, you don't have to make any dua against her, just shows that they deserve each other. Also, she was not married to you, so technically she didn't owe you anything. She blocked you when she realized she fell for someone else. And it is better that it happened before marriage than after marriage right?
    The best thing you can do, is use this opportunity to get closer to Allah (swt). Ask Him (swt) to replace what you have lost with that which is better. Ask Him (swt) to increase your ranks in Jannah. Think about it, isn't the pain worth it if you could be closer to Allah (swt) because of this?

    Everything that happens to us in life happens for a reason. There is a lesson that Allah (swt) wants you to learn, that you will need for the future, so that you can become a better a purer slave of His. reflect on what could be the lesson?

    Use this opportunity to develope yourself. The best revenge is to live a life well lived. So use it to become better, so that better and more pious and loyal girls will be attracted towards you, and will want to marry you. Infact, this is actually an amazing opportunity to learn forgiveness. Learning to forgive yourself, and forgive her.

    The Messenger of Allah (sallaAllahu 'alayhi wasallam) was sitting with a group of the sahabah (RAA) in the masjid and he said "A man will now enter [who is] from the people of Paradise." and a sahabi walked in. Later it happened again, and then a third time. 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'aas (RAA) wanted to find out what was so special about this man, so he asked the man if he can stay over his house for 3 days. (He made up an excuse). The man allowed him to stay. 'Abdullah noticed that the man didn't do anything out of the ordinary: He didn't fast all the time, he slept some of the night and prayed some of the night, and so on. So after the 3 days, 'Abdullah told him the real reason why he requested to stay with him, and he asked him what it was that could be the reason why he was from the people of Jannah.
    The man (RA) couldn't think of anything, but after a bit he said "Every night, before I go to sleep, I forgive whoever has wronged me. I remove any bad feelings towards anyone from my heart." (Something similar to that)

    The sahabah used to look at his heart everyday, and used to forgive anyone who had hurt him. One thing to remember is forgiveness takes time. It isn't an one time event. But needs to be done over and over again. You may forgive one day, then another trigger can come up, and the anger might come back.

    If you want to learn how to forgive, you can learn from here:
    http://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/ni...to_forgiveness
    http://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/ei...when_forgiving


    May Allah (swt) grant you qalbun saleem! Ameen!

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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
    it's not about assumptions, the one who whines about not liking his wife's body has 9/10 times failed to lower their gaze and lusted after other women.

    this thread also proves that he did not lower his gaze,
    Now you are annoying me I remained patient your manners are filthy.

    Wallahi I do not watch porn u assumed so you should fear Allah and repent.

    I do not look at other women u are just assuming without knowledge.

    Even when I met the woman I lowered my gaze thts wht prevented me from doing anything.

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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by misshijabi View Post
    Assalamu Alaykum brother!

    I am sorry to hear what you have been through. It can be tempting to seek revenge, but know that you will not gain anything out of it. It will not bring you any satisfaction to see her in pain. Infact, this desire for revenge can keep you stuck in it. However, at the same time, if someone has been wronged, Allah (swt) is Just. Just leave it up to Him (swt). I think the way she is going about it, you don't have to make any dua against her, just shows that they deserve each other. Also, she was not married to you, so technically she didn't owe you anything. She blocked you when she realized she fell for someone else. And it is better that it happened before marriage than after marriage right?
    The best thing you can do, is use this opportunity to get closer to Allah (swt). Ask Him (swt) to replace what you have lost with that which is better. Ask Him (swt) to increase your ranks in Jannah. Think about it, isn't the pain worth it if you could be closer to Allah (swt) because of this?

    Everything that happens to us in life happens for a reason. There is a lesson that Allah (swt) wants you to learn, that you will need for the future, so that you can become a better a purer slave of His. reflect on what could be the lesson?

    Use this opportunity to develope yourself. The best revenge is to live a life well lived. So use it to become better, so that better and more pious and loyal girls will be attracted towards you, and will want to marry you. Infact, this is actually an amazing opportunity to learn forgiveness. Learning to forgive yourself, and forgive her.

    The Messenger of Allah (sallaAllahu 'alayhi wasallam) was sitting with a group of the sahabah (RAA) in the masjid and he said "A man will now enter [who is] from the people of Paradise." and a sahabi walked in. Later it happened again, and then a third time. 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'aas (RAA) wanted to find out what was so special about this man, so he asked the man if he can stay over his house for 3 days. (He made up an excuse). The man allowed him to stay. 'Abdullah noticed that the man didn't do anything out of the ordinary: He didn't fast all the time, he slept some of the night and prayed some of the night, and so on. So after the 3 days, 'Abdullah told him the real reason why he requested to stay with him, and he asked him what it was that could be the reason why he was from the people of Jannah.
    The man (RA) couldn't think of anything, but after a bit he said "Every night, before I go to sleep, I forgive whoever has wronged me. I remove any bad feelings towards anyone from my heart." (Something similar to that)

    The sahabah used to look at his heart everyday, and used to forgive anyone who had hurt him. One thing to remember is forgiveness takes time. It isn't an one time event. But needs to be done over and over again. You may forgive one day, then another trigger can come up, and the anger might come back.

    If you want to learn how to forgive, you can learn from here:
    http://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/ni...to_forgiveness
    http://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/ei...when_forgiving


    May Allah (swt) grant you qalbun saleem! Ameen!
    Ameen

    Jzk for that I appreciate it thank you very much for the advice may Allah reward u ameen revenge has gone out my head I do not care anymore

    I feel very very happy these days after I left her I do not feel upset at all alhamdulilah

    I

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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    Now you are annoying me I remained patient your manners are filthy.

    Wallahi I do not watch porn u assumed so you should fear Allah and repent.

    I do not look at other women u are just assuming without knowledge.

    Even when I met the woman I lowered my gaze thts wht prevented me from doing anything.
    It is clear the games you are playing,

    First with illicit relationships as you did in this thread, and then claiming you don't like wife body,

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...ive&highlight=

    I've seen disgusting posts before but you really take the biscuit.

    You should Fear Allah عز و جل and refrain from making dirty threads/posts,

    If your going to make them, then don't come crying when it's pointed out.

    A spade is a spade after all.
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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Medic View Post
    If you can't prove he watches porn then you should just be quiet with all the "it's highly probably you watch it" talk because that's still slander.
    If you read the post, you would have realised that it was directed as a question, but you decided to jump the gun and call me a Slanderer,

    It's already proven by this guy's posts that he has s serious issue with lowering his gaze, this thread and his original Post is proof of that as he admits he had an illicit relationship.

    It's no surprise that people who don't lower their Gaze and engage in Haraam relationships, to watch filth,

    Someone who whines about being dissatisfied with wife's body, has obviously been looking at other women.

    The Brother who said it in the other thread was spot on.
    Last edited by Saif-Uddin; 16-11-17 at 01:36 PM.
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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
    If you read the post, you would have realised that it was directed as a question, but you decided to jump the gun and call me a Slanderer,

    It's already proven by this guy's posts that he has s serious issue with lowering his gaze, this thread and his original Post is proof of that as he admits he had an illicit relationship.

    It's no surprise that people who don't lower their Gaze and engage in Haraam relationships, to watch filth,

    Someone who whines about being dissatisfied with wife's body, has obviously been looking at other women.

    The Brother who said it in the other thread was spot on.
    This is the question you asked in the post I downvoted :

    Your the same person with almost certain porn addiction, who didn't lower their Gaze and created a dirty thread about your wife, after you created this one about yoi girlfriend cheating on you?

    You should be banned.
    You asked him if he was the same person from the other thread, not if he watched porn or not (you'd already made your mind up that he most probably did watch it so...).

    So yes, still slander.

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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Deep down you have a lot of wicked evilness in you, and this experience has brought this disease to the forefront so you could address this.

    Regardless how much a person hurts you (what happened to you is nothing) a person with a clean heart always moves on with no sign of vengefulness, even when Abu Bakr simply withdrew funds from a relative he sponsored that slandered his own daughter publicly accusing her of Zinna during that fitnah, the verse below shortly after came down.

    24:22
    And let not those who possess dignity and ease among you swear not to give to the near of kin and to the needy, and to fugitives for the cause of Allah. Let them forgive and show indulgence. Yearn ye not that Allah may forgive you? Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.


    Abu Bakr sought no revenge and your situation is nothing in comparison whatsoever, he cried after this verse taking blame, could you imagine Abu Bakr invoking Allah to curse such a person?

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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dawud21 View Post
    Deep down you have a lot of wicked evilness in you, and this experience has brought this disease to the forefront so you could address this.

    Regardless how much a person hurts you (what happened to you is nothing) a person with a clean heart always moves on with no sign of vengefulness, even when Abu Bakr simply withdrew funds from a relative he sponsored that slandered his own daughter publicly accusing her of Zinna during that fitnah, the verse below shortly after came down.

    24:22
    And let not those who possess dignity and ease among you swear not to give to the near of kin and to the needy, and to fugitives for the cause of Allah. Let them forgive and show indulgence. Yearn ye not that Allah may forgive you? Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.


    Abu Bakr sought no revenge and your situation is nothing in comparison whatsoever, he cried after this verse taking blame, could you imagine Abu Bakr invoking Allah to curse such a person?
    سبح ن الله what a good point u made akhi

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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Medic View Post
    This is the question you asked in the post I downvoted :



    You asked him if he was the same person from the other thread, not if he watched porn or not (you'd already made your mind up that he most probably did watch it so...).

    So yes, still slander.
    Facepalm

    Learn the definition before you come accusing next time,

    The guy has clearly been lusting at other women,

    Nobody in their right mind would claim they had dirty relationships, don't like their wife and then claim they somehow been lowering their gaze.

    If you want to be Gullible that's your choice, don't impose it on others.
    Last edited by Saif-Uddin; 17-11-17 at 08:43 AM.
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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
    Facepalm

    Learn the definition before you come accusing next time,

    The guy has clearly been lusting at other women,

    Nobody in their right mind would claim they had dirty relationships, don't like their wife and then claim they somehow been lowering their gaze.

    If you want to be Gullible that's your choice, don't impose it on others.
    You're just arguing for the sake of arguing now.

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    Re: How I handled ( Girl who cheated on me) situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    Asalamualakum

    What shall I explain here is

    1. What happened

    2.. How I handled this emotionally?

    .3.Signs Allah gave me to show she was not right woman before

    Introduction
    Previously I made a post regarding I was hurt abit . So basically I was speaking to this girl for 2 years ( Yes its haram May Allah forgive me ameen) I met her twice she loved me so much I loved her alot. In the 2 meetings Alhamdulilah I did not even touch her never mind kiss I feared Allah though I committed sin in meeting her. I protected her virginity aswell for marriage tht was my intention. I told my dad recently about the marriage he was ready to speak to her father.


    1. What happened

    So we knew each other for 2 years very very close anyways 2 weeks ago she blocked me she said she has done something wrong forgive me good bye blocked. This left me in a state of confusion non stop thinking all day night whts gone on I could not eat sleep etc.


    2. A day before I did dua to Allah help me find out whts gone on she randomly unblocks me adds me .
    To get the point across she did not commit zina but she fell in love with another man who has been speaking to her for maybe 1 month I am not sure . I am not even sure when we were speaking was she still speaking to him .

    She explained to me how "nice" this guy is he took me out to eat he cares for me lol she said he wants to marry me he will be speaking to my parents soon etc . She even said he hugged her kissed her. Yet she thinks hes pious.

    When she told me Wallahi Allah hu akbar I did not get affected emotionally I just do not know why . My heart did not break . Now why is this ?

    We need the love connection of Allah in our hearts BEFORE ANYONE and STRONG love connection
    Also never ever ever fall deep in love with a woman you are speaking to online

    Based upon the 2 above I kept strong Alhamdulilah


    3. She started lacking in her salahs to an extent sometimes missing all 5 sometimes 1 a day etc. Based upon this I warned her start praying she still lacked.

    1. 1st sign- I raised my hands to Allah show me a sign if she is right one guide me if she is not show me then 1 week later thats when she blocked me . For me tht was enough of a sign but I kept asking for more n more signs,

    2. Randomly on Friday teacher was speaking about trust how people are untrustworthy when the lecture is about web development nothing about trust but he somehow manged to link trust in though not relevant this made think hmm.

    3. On same day I go in computer room and friend say read this on screen it said relationships can change or break but trust in God always ( he does not know anything whats gone on)

    When I read tht on screen I was like wow.

    4. I scrolled down on facebook and read on Islamic page which said wife has blocked me . I clicked on it it was quite relevant to my situation .

    5. I did dua help me find out whats gone on then today she unblocked me told me.

    More signs were given aswell


    Now this is where the questions come

    I am a man who is loyal I do not speak to women I do not watch porn alhamdulilah I do not speak to women on social media ( I do have a very high desire though) I was very loyal to her. She
    was not . The guy who she is with now is not even a virgin and he hugged her yet she thinks hes the right guy lol

    The question is

    Can I do dua to Allah to take revenge on my behalf ?



    Do you think it is a good idea to let the man know she cheated on me before he marries her?
    Fear Allah, forget her and move on.



 

 

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