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Thread: Marriage fear

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    Marriage fear



    so much marriage fear here, I can understand it's a daunting task, but we shouldn't fear it, do your homework, once you are satisfied just nose dive right in.
    in the end, destiny will take it's course, don't be stupid now, homework first then it's destiny

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    Senior Member Juwairiyyah's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by Scrooge View Post


    so much marriage fear here, I can understand it's a daunting task, but we shouldn't fear it, do your homework, once you are satisfied just nose dive right in.
    in the end, destiny will take it's course, don't be stupid now, homework first then it's destiny
    So much is at stake, especially for women. Marry the wrong person, and there's your whole life ruined.

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by Juwairiyyah View Post
    So much is at stake, especially for women. Marry the wrong person, and there's your whole life ruined.
    agreed, but what happened to hoping for the best, there has to be some sort of balance, I think most people just over think the possibility of something going sour, too many what ifs. You can never be 100% certain, in the best case scenario it's probably 50-50 anyway.

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    Re: Marriage fear

    all i'm saying is we don't need to fear it to the extent of paranoia, stop looking at every bad marriage out there even if they are in the majority, rather live in hope than die in despair

    I don't like negativity, it's too easy, energy sapping, and resentment building

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    Marriage fear

    I DONT know WHAT I FEAR BUT I FEAR SOMETHINH help me

    Ws
    إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

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    Re: Marriage fear

    you fear the unknown, you fear the uncontrollables

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    Re: Marriage fear

    most of all, you FEAR the WHAT IF's

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by Juwairiyyah View Post
    So much is at stake, especially for women. Marry the wrong person, and there's your whole life ruined.
    A lot at stake for men too. I lost 99% of everything I had because the marriage failed.
    Last edited by oshirowanen; 09-11-17 at 08:48 AM.

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by oshirowanen View Post
    A lot in stake for men too. I lost 99% of everything I had because the marriage failed.
    that is scary,

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    Marriage fear

    I don’t know what I fear let me think


    I fear marrying a coward
    إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

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    Marriage fear

    @oshirowanen

    Did she take all your assets and money? I heard they like taking those things especially
    Last edited by Faith reloaded; 09-11-17 at 08:49 AM.

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by iRepIslam View Post
    I don’t know what I fear let me think


    I fear marrying a coward
    plenty of those going around, with double standards. but be BRAVE, come on you can't live life in fear

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by Faith reloaded View Post
    @oshirowanen

    Did she take all your assets and money?
    sounds like it, to me those sorts are nothing more than common thieves

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    Marriage fear

    Imagine I have to go out of the city and travel by car/coach and I feel like cancelling my trip because I get motion sick, how is I meant to be brave?
    إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

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    Re: Marriage fear

    you get meds for that, I get sick when I fly, I still fly

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by Faith reloaded View Post
    @oshirowanen

    Did she take all your assets and money? I heard they like taking those things especially
    Assets, money, child, confidence, reputation, and near enough destroyed my faith too. So pretty much everything. Good times..

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    Marriage fear

    I’m going to invest in some medication and that bracelet that stops you from being sick by playing around with your nerves.
    إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

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    Re: Marriage fear

    My biggest fear is marrying a man who doesn’t know how to cook nor clean, imagine

    hahahahaha nightmares
    إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

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    Re: Marriage fear

    you sound like an extremist, things that play around with your nerves

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Imagine you come back from work and his sitting there watching tv with the house. A mess


    Go back to your mums house mate
    إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by Scrooge View Post
    you sound like an extremist, things that play around with your nerves
    https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?m...2F162658975933
    إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

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    Re: Marriage fear

    too many fear creating, negative thoughts in your mind about marriage, it's what I have been talking about.

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    Re: Marriage fear

    worth a try, doesn't cost much

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Salaam,

    The only fear I have is that they pass a law which allows for my wealth and assets to be stolen from me if I got divorced. I know in south Africa they were considering passing such a law in the case of divorce in Islamic only marriages.

    So that's the only fear. Everything else is fine.

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    Marriage fear

    I think negative thoughts regarding M are bound to happen if some of us just sit online all day and read up on these stories

    Also tawakkul is an important aspect and thinking good of Allah, you just pray whatever Allah Azzawajal gives you whether it’s a trial or a blessing will cleanse you and bring you close to Him.
    إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by iRepIslam View Post
    I think negative thoughts regarding M are bound to happen if some of us just sit online all day and read up on these stories

    Also tawakkul is an important aspect and thinking good of Allah, you just pray whatever Allah Azzawajal gives you whether it’s a trial or a blessing will cleanse you and bring you close to Him.
    be brave, hope for good and it will happen, if it doesn't like you said, hopefully will take you closer to Allah. We worry so much about not being sad that it makes us unhappy

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    Marriage fear

    Exactly, we think too much about our future we forgot to live in the present. We trust in Allah, we search with our heart, we expect less as it will lead to disappointments, ultimately we make as much Dua as we can and abstain from sin.
    إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

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    Re: Marriage fear

    well said

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by oshirowanen View Post
    Assets, money, child, confidence, reputation, and near enough destroyed my faith too. So pretty much everything. Good times..
    Why didn’t you sign a prenup.

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Imagine me being forced to share my pc games with him... Heck no!
    My pc belongs to me and only me! Go and get your own pc mate!



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    Icon12 Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    Imagine me being forced to share my pc games with him... Heck no!
    My pc belongs to me and only me! Go and get your own pc mate!



    Hahhaha
    إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    Imagine me being forced to share my pc games with him... Heck no!
    My pc belongs to me and only me! Go and get your own pc mate!


    he'll get you the latest and meanest gaming pc with all the games your heart desires, but remember it comes with a condition, when it's food time, kitchen comes first. lol, I just had to tease you there, the dreaded K word

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by Scrooge View Post
    he'll get you the latest and meanest gaming pc with all the games your heart desires, but remember it comes with a condition, when it's food time, kitchen comes first. lol, I just had to tease you there, the dreaded K word
    Nah nah wrong. He better be good at gaming or no dinner. The kitchen is a bet. He comes home and 1vs1 me. If he wins, then I cook whatever he want. If he do lose then sorry mate, no dinner for u. Gotta wait til breakfast next day
    That poor man gonna starve to death for sure cuz I won't go easy on him
    Last edited by P1RAT3N; 09-11-17 at 10:20 AM.

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    Gender: Male oshirowanen's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by Snippets View Post
    Why didn’t you sign a prenup.
    I was thick... Prenup 100% must, I learnt the hard way.

    Not having a prenup is such a big gamble, that it makes Vegas look okay in comparison.
    Last edited by oshirowanen; 09-11-17 at 10:49 AM.

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    Nah nah wrong. He better be good at gaming or no dinner. The kitchen is a bet. He comes home and 1vs1 me. If he wins, then I cook whatever he want. If he do lose then sorry mate, no dinner for u. Gotta wait til breakfast next day
    That poor man gonna starve to death for sure cuz I won't go easy on him
    why would he starve? take-out its good, then you guys can be 2 over weights playing fifa and Googling how to lose weight.

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by Scrooge View Post
    why would he starve? take-out its good, then you guys can be 2 over weights playing fifa and Googling how to lose weight.
    Ah you got me there, didn't think about that. Then I gotta find another way to punish him for his lack of skills... I'll hide his wallet while he Sleep so he won't be able to buy. But guess I'll end up starving too...
    *goes to the kitchen and prepares a sad sandwish while I'm sobbing*

  37. #37
    Senior Member Juwairiyyah's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by oshirowanen View Post
    A lot at stake for men too. I lost 99% of everything I had because the marriage failed.
    Looking back (as hindsight is 20/20), were there any red flags that you missed before you married her?

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by Juwairiyyah View Post
    So much is at stake, especially for women. Marry the wrong person, and there's your whole life ruined.
    I hate to agree

    Even all these checks and a million questions, you can't run away with what has been sealed for you

    It's heartbreaking sometimes but that's why you have to prove what matters to you most, submission to Allah or the creation

    It's not an easy thing to prove, requires ikhlas and taqwa
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Quote Originally Posted by Snippets View Post
    Why didn’t you sign a prenup.
    Why should we though?

    We shouldn't have to worry so much like that but now I agree that we should do this. There is no guarantee though.

    Sad state of affairs.
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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    Re: Marriage fear

    Most fears are natural
    Who wants to get married to their worst nightmare?
    To spend your entire life with all sorts of people and then expect a good man to be your husband but instead it is the most vile relationship you have experienced is quite tragic because husband and wife relatipnship is a very close one like the one of a mother and child.

    It is a gamble but your tawaqqul is at test here
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

 

 

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